Uncategorized

Communication

fawnthayer

In a world where communication is lost on all of us because we claim to be so busy, why do I find myself trying to not care that such a vital component is lost on all of us? The truth is I find it very hard to accept that these professionals were never taught business acumen and even if they weren’t customer service is the sustaining factor to life.

Even when the recruiter ghosts you because you weren’t the right fit, that is not professional. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with our work, but its not okay to ignore the person that you think might not deserve the proper communication.

Doing a renovation on my house has exposed me to so many untactful and unprofessional methods. It pains me because they are sacrificing their skill for a tarnished review if the right person were to leave it.

Let’s bring back communication, let’s make it normal. Let’s make business acumen and professionalism a thing again. You don’t even have to be friends with the one you owe communication to, but respect isn’t to be frowned upon because you hold yourself to a certain standard.

Let’s make punctuality a thing again. Time is money. Those that fail to respect others time is another thorn in the side for me. You are valuable and what you do with your time is essential.

I was raised to respect all regardless of their lack thereof. When did ethics and lack of concern for others become a trend? It’s such a taboo thing to admit that you weren’t right, but sometimes you must swallow the pill and admit that you dropped the ball or you couldn’t fulfill a promise. Maybe we are taking on too much as a society and letting greed surpass what our real need is? We all forget from time to time that we are all connected and share the same needs.

Clarity, mindset, reset

Mindset- reset & refocus

fawnthayer

I could write a story about mindset – a resetting of your mind- a meditation- a brain reset, but all of it would appear as words on paper. In life we go through these moments in time, where we aren’t really present. We are drifting into the abyss, wondering how we can achieve or do better, or maybe we are stuck in a moment wondering why we didn’t do better. Whatever moment we are lost in, we are here until we refocus our purpose.

Our purpose or mindset was never to get here- but to regain focus. How does one get to this? It’s simply a matter of presence. Be present in the moment, look at the simple things in life and realize you can get over whatever obstacle is mind blocking you. It’s not as simple as words can put it, but it is as easy as you make it. You must reprogram your mind.

I was stuck in this revolving mindset for a while here that I thought my future was limited. I thought that my options for success were always leading back to the beginning and starting over. Whether it be in real estate or in the current job role I had. Instead of manipulating my mind to see over the negative thoughts, I let this cloud my view. I let it consume my every waking moment. I let it eat my soul in savasana and in the daily activities I performed.

But, now my mindset is I can and I will be successful. I will train myself to get where I need to be because that wasn’t set back for me, getting back in the real estate world, it was preparing me for what was to come.

Uncategorized

a letter for my father – years later

fawnthayer

There were times I thought I was losing control.. There were times I thought you had no place in my life… There were times that I pushed you away… There were times that the relationship felt like nothing but pieces of ruins to me.. There were times I grew so far from you… And there were times you’d call me when I lost touch with the thoughts I had of you..

But, you never stopped trying to come into my life. You had this addiction to something deeper… Others only saw your addiction and sad to say it took me years to unpack this feeling I had.. You were always wanting to be the father to me but, you were broken inside. You were hurt. You longed for the Savior Jesus to keep you clean on the outside, but you battled this pain. You were an image of me when I longed for hope because you NEVER stopped. You showed me inside that God was part of your life even at the lowest of lows.

Why it took me so long to process this, I have no idea. Inside you thought long and hard about the life you could have with the ones you loved in your life. Inside you promised me the world – on the outside it was blur because all the promises turned to dust and again you’d spiral down the road of loneliness not looking toward the right thing for direction- God.

I have a part of you in me every time I think of how determined I am to be the one that you wanted to be. You had it all and the thing you lost focus on allowed the evil to consume you. You left me with the adversity inside to get through the tough times. When I think of failures and all you lost because of the cancer that consumed you, I know that you fought it for as long as you could. I knew that without a doubt you loved me.

Even though I am almost a decade late grieving your loss, I couldn’t be told how to feel when it happened- it was surreal losing the one that I wouldn’t let in my life. Now that its been a decade-I have let you in. Even if its me noting that I have accepted all your pain was you coping through it all. I hope you’re experiencing the joy the world stole from you. Far from perfect you were but your sins were washed clean when you gave yourself to the Lord.

Uncategorized

Thoughts from Days Ago…

fawnthayer

I’m finally feeling like I made it through the obstacles that I have faced mentally and physically the past few weeks. It wasn’t something I ever saw coming. Thats the thing with life, it pulls you under just to have someone pull you out. That someone was that I never lost sight of myself through it all. I never left the pain behind. I lived in the moment. I dreamt the solution to all of my pain. I never stopped believing that I could pull through. Outside I was easily distracted by the thought of not being able to turn it in to something but, it was real. My thoughts never stopped coming back to me about how I envisioned my future to be the result of the endless effort I exhibited. I threw myself at this dedication. I gave myself to praying every night to overcome the negative.

My confession was that I was never going to let my past thoughts define me. This time I wasn’t going to let failure define me. I was sold to this new beginning. Clarity was all I had going forward. Others beside me would wonder what I was thinking taking on more. But, to me more was just empowering my purpose.

A conflicting concern I had recently was if the Bible leaves the option open for psychics. Are we really supposed to assume that one has these connections with the other world? And if that’s the case are these spirits really who they say or portray themselves to be? I left this idea behind recently until a close friend told me about this. I told them it was not necessary to look to another person for guidance because we have all we need in the Bible and in the holy spirit. I dabbled in some crazy spiritual concerns before I joined the military but, all it did was hurt me spiritually. Everyone has a purpose and gift in life. If one of mine is to bring awareness to the fact that we don’t know what God has promised us after life, then so be it. Faith is about believing and not seeing.

What we must remember is that there are fake illusions in this world that make us see or believe what isn’t. There are distractions. Evil creeps in when you least expect it. Evil consumes one when we aren’t looking and when we aren’t praying to God because this world is not perfect.

The enemy is like a thief, consuming your mindset, redirecting you the wrong way. It is up to you to decipher what the enemy wants versus what you need in life. You need to pray for clarity and embrace the moments when we are given the glimpse of possibilities.

Uncategorized

life is of value

fawnthayer

Some things will remain a mystery and supernatural. We are left in awe to wonder what if we wait a lifetime to reconnect with a loved one, will we truly see them again? I find comfort in knowing that I am close to Jesus, but were they? This record keeps replaying in my mind as I wonder what could have been, would have been or should have been never was. Life will keep presenting these tragic experiences and we will be left to wonder why it has happened. But we are not meant to spend eternity on this Earth. We are meant to go before God and serve our purpose in heaven.

Now more than ever the holy spirit speaks to me as if a sign was given. This whole experience has shown me that life is more than precious, it’s but a speck in the grand scheme of things. We are here for each other. We cannot thrive without community, and I say this again and again, don’t forget John 3:16 or take it for granted. We need to help others that are in need. We are not here to compete for one’s blessing alone, we can all be saved.

I write this with a heavy heart because I cannot fathom what my cousin’s spouse is experiencing. Life is not an illusion, it is very much real. Treasure and value those close to you.

christianity, Faith, Uncategorized

Can knowing God make a Difference?

fawnthayer

Loss happens so suddenly that one moment you think you have the opportunity to share moments or words with someone and the next, it can be too late. In the moment that it occurs to you, that the facts are real, and this world is sabotaging you every moment that you don’t take advantage of opportunities, you’re too numb to the reality of it all. It’s just debilitating to comprehend that such a beautiful soul could be taken so soon.

This weekend I found out that my cousin is no longer with us. Although, they didn’t leave reason as to why they would want an end what has yet to come, I have faith that he believed in John 3:16. We need to be more open about our faith. Our trust in God. We need to know that he has it in his hands and our job is to spread his word to others. Without our ability to share the word of God, we are walking a fine line. Think of what good we can do by sharing the word openly.

I grew up with a family that was highly reliant on alcohol. The highs and lows one can experience from it are not one to mess with. I was saved a few years ago when I released my control to God. I overcame lots of obstacles. Unless you want to overcome the devil, he will creep in. I would say that it’s a relentless effort to get the thoughts of regret out of your mind, but once you accept God in your life, you stop the self-sabotage. I am blessed every day that I realize I have surrendered my soul to God and worship it.

Your past can haunt your future in more ways than one, but only you can stop allowing the past control the future. The future is just an image that you put in your mind. When you truly stop to be in the present and appreciate the beauty of life in front of you, clarity will arise. Don’t lose hope or faith, when your story has a purpose.

Uncategorized

Friendships

fawnthayer

I just got finished watching Firefly Lane. It made me reminisce about my childhood. I had one friend in particular who I shared those moments with that I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still hurt inside at the thought that we could still have that type of friendship. I had tried so many times to keep the relationship alive. However many times you have to leave the friendship behind because it isn’t one anymore. All you have are those memories. You begin to think what did you do? What is wrong with you that it can’t be one anymore? How hurt are you inside? For years I thought it was me. Maybe I should of been more of a certain way.

But, the answer is that it wasn’t ever you. You were a child and as free and true to yourself as you could be. Why do people hurt. Yes, you may have moved on, but friends are friends forever. Acceptance is all you wanted. Never being accepted by your family, you thought your acceptance could be found in a friend. Female friendships are something I hold near and dear. Being so young and innocent, I thought that all I needed was the friendships I saw on the TV screens, the families I saw on the TV and the mothers that others had that were present.

However, you yearn for this acceptance because you never knew acceptance through God. Your vision was distorted from the childhood vision they put of church and God in your life. It wasn’t the real version. It was hard moving on past what I thought would be a friend for life. But, I promise you God will put someone new in your life.

The hardest part is admitting that you can’t convince the other person otherwise. I had a Navy friendship that ended this way and tried to reach out to her. She still has yet to accept my friend request! Another friend has yet to accept the past. Even though others may have called her arrogant, I saw the beauty in her faults. Not all friendships are perfect. Not all friendships will last forever. Happiness isn’t found through these relationships, instead it is through God.

christianity, Clarity, Faith, focus, God, Jesus

Clarity & Focus

fawnthayer

It’s so easy to lose focus of what we are doing are doing, what our goals are and what our original expectations are. In this world, it is easy to forget the focus, lose the purpose and forget that we are consistently on the go. How do we remind ourselves that purpose and focus are essential to push us through the hard times, to give us clarity and regain stamina?

When we are truly fulfilled and have clarity with our thoughts, we can regain focus. I feel this way every time after I attend a church sermon and apply the message to my life. Being able to worship with those that at are at one with the spirit and knowing the warmth is present there is so consoling. We cannot be solely reliant on ourselves to get us to that place of clarity. We must refill our cup daily to remind ourselves that we are human. We forget, we lose patience and sometimes we get lost on this journey. But, in the end we have the Bible to refer to.

Now, if you haven’t established this relationship with Jesus, I encourage you to open yourself to it. He sacrificed himself to atone for our sins. We are not perfect. But, when we knowingly accept things that aren’t without making changes to fix ourselves, we will feel empty. All I can say is that emptiness without God or Jesus in your life is desolate, dark and cold. It will allow negativity to seep in and control your emotions.

How do we get to this place of focus? We pray again and again. We show ourselves grace and repent for those mistakes. Being alone in quiet is the best way to pray and feel the holy spirit. I see that my purpose and focus is better defined when I have submitted myself to admitting that I am not in control and God has blessed me with wonderful things so far. Spreading my faith is something I always envisioned. I just didn’t know how until recently.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed and wonder what I am supposed to do. But, when we truly look at the gifts we are blessed with, the vision becomes clearer. We were not meant to be alone, but to work together as a community. When one is in pain, the other feels as well. This consistent connection between us all, lets us get through hard times and appreciate the joys in life. We were never meant to embrace this life alone.

Uncategorized

Internal Intuition Lives within us All

fawnthayer

What if we all had an internal clock that told us how to manage our foods, how to balance our life and when we reach a certain tipping point that we must be restored. This would resemble the energy bars of a Sims character. When they needed more energy, it would require you to sleep. You would faint in the middle of cooking if you didn’t have the capacity to do so. Your character would fail at cooking if they didn’t have the skills necessary and have to attain social skills or others. In order to grow it would require really focusing on the Sims needs.

Well, what if I told you, you do? You have this internal capacity and ability to see inside and know what is required. And no, it isn’t a smart watch that we are so heavily reliant on. It’s you! So many people are lost wondering how that could be? If you lost touch with this sixth sense years ago, it’s because you lost touch with yourself intuitively and physically. That is okay though, you can restore this.

We listen to our bodies because we are all unique and haver different needs. I eat healthy and crave certain foods because my body needs the nourishment from those foods. It sounds simple. But, it may take a bit to regain this connection. The connection is quite directly related to how you feel and energy levels. We live in a world of chaos, but we can focus on ourselves before self-sabotaging ourselves ignoring the need for self-care and attention.

Simply start by correcting your eating habits and taking time in silence to yourself everyday. Silence is time to meditate and pray. Find out what you are really feeling. Thousands of thoughts will jump up, but truly honing in on what you feel is the priority. This can put you in a relaxation mode, make sure your eyes are closed. Sometime you may need to escape and going on a walk and being one with nature helps.

What we eat is ingrained in our cells and how we function. Our energy is based on what we eat. We don’t need watches to tell us where our heart rate stands, how many work outs we did and what our circadian rhythm is because when you are so in tune with yourself, you know. For example, I knew I had an issue with gluten when my thyroid was acting weird and I chose to eliminate those foods that were hurting my stomach and presenting other issues. I was able to eat gluten overseas but, I cannot here.

We cannot be one with ourselves if we don’t understand that technology is not necessary for everything. To be one with yourself, you must be intuitive with your needs. You must put aside cravings for negativity, cravings for sugar and understand what your body really needs. Does it need sleep and you think on more espresso will alleviate that?

I had a smart watch years ago that I used for maybe 6 months, but it was so demanding and uncomfortable that I left it behind. Sometimes it can be beneficial but, for those that want to experience their inner needs and know what the body wants, this technology will not be the answer.

Uncategorized

Foods can Heal.

fawnthayer

Foods effect mood and performance. What you ingest impacts you.

The other day I started off with some plain whole milk greek yogurt, cinnamon, banana, blueberries and raw honey. The way that the food is modified will impact you also. The best way to go is raw and as close to its creation as possible. I am drinking a Vadham Tea- the tumeric spiced. If you are unaware of all the benefits of tumeric, I suggest you enlighten yourself! It is such a gem that is in the open for us to ingest. It high antinflammatory benefits are so great for you. I relied on the Gaia Tumeric Pain pills when I had a tooth that was dying and then when the root canal was infected- which I will NEVER get again.

If you recall, we came from nothing- we didn’t have the kitchen to create our food and all these extra things that man has made. It is now getting to the point where we must fight against the evil or destruction in the food industry. California has already outlawed certain candies because of food dyes. Imagine how much cleansing you must do to rid your body of the toxins, if all you ate was junk for years? There is hope to restore your body and it requires eliminating the poisons from your diet.