3 Ds: Depression, Dysfunction, Dissatisfaction

Have you ever been really unhappy but not wanted anyone to know? I felt like that a lot as a teen and navigating university and a career in my 20s. I tried to seem happy and cheerful, because I wanted to be, but deep down, I wasn’t. Childhood trauma and unhelpful coping strategies were bound to catch up with me!

That dissatisfaction, depression and loneliness caused me to spiral into poorer and poorer health. My weight was very high because I also struggled with binge eating as a way to cope with stress, and that only led me to becoming more and more dysfunctional and unhappy. Even though I’d spent years trying to work on my health and mental health, I still found myself having daily breakdowns at my desk during the pandemic in 2020. My career at the time was business administration for the public sector. My life had some problems, but were overall could have been a lot worse! And yet, I was still mentally suffering! Until I stumbled across a mindfulness meditation podcast one day.

A New Path

Mindfulness meditation and other Buddhist practices turned out to be a very unexpected solution to my inner turmoil. I’d never been a very spiritual person before, and I was drawn to the fact that there is so much good science to back up the practices I was learning. I felt like I’d found it: A way to re-train the mind…to re-build the brain. Slowly. Gently. Unlearn unhelpful patterns, discover new ones.

I found a community to practice with, a teacher, and more than anything, I just practiced. I started going out in nature more. Gardening. Walking. Making Art. Meditating. Swimming. Eating more veggies and beans. Day by day, one small change at a time, I completely transformed my mental health and lost 180lbs.

Creation and Service

I fell in love with the process of examining my inner world. Kindly, methodically, I practiced with steady but lighthearted effort. I became connected to my body for the first time in my life.

I healed.

I can’t help but want to share that with others. It is a difficult world out there, I want to help draw you to the beauty and ease of the present moment. Sometimes pain is unavoidable. That’s life. But there is beauty, connection and love too. Sometimes all we need is the reminder.

Qualified Meditation Teacher: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

Centre for Mindfulness Canada

~150 hour live training (with Dr. Kasim Al-Mashat) to teach the Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program

MBSR is an evidenced based program to change your response to stress by learning and practicing meditation & healthy skills for 8 weeks in a supportive group.

B.A. Psychology & Linguistics

Simon Fraser University

Specialty: Cognitive science and Developmental Psychology

Research Experience: Children’s Social Emotional Development Lab, Cognitive Science Lab

Fine Art

I was lucky enough to grow up in the Vancouver area with access to some wonderful art mentors and facilities. I was constantly in art classes and taking solace from doodling in math. I stopped practicing art when I decided to have a “serious” career, but ended up coming back to it in a completely new form.

I paint acrylic and watercolour, sometimes mixing both in the same piece. Recently I’ve been experimenting with solar printing. My art usually features subjects from nature such as flowers, trees, fauna, sea life. They are like divine beings to me, perfectly formed by mother earth and wonderfully present in the here and now.

Lessons

Beginners and more advanced students are welcome! Whether you are looking for some beginner skills, building your art confidence or would simply like to explore building an art practice, I’m here to help! I emphasize building confidence, discernment and inner wisdom to guide your art practice.

Commissions

I accept commissions based on the query & my other projects at the time! Always open to queries, please feel free to reach out.

Spiritual Practice

When I was younger, I was a staunch atheist, so I don’t say it lightly when I say that developing my own spirituality was essential to my healing. I don’t think everyone needs to go down this particular path to feel better, but it was transformative for me.

Lineage

The practices that I teach are adapted from Theravada Buddhism (a very old form of Buddhism), though anyone is welcome to practice them as it is an open practice. My main teachers here in North America learned these techniques from teachers in Asia (Thailand, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, India).

Personally, I also connect with nature in my spiritual practice. Remembering the land, remembering my own ancestors. Remembering that I live, create and thrive on the traditional territory of the Ts’uubaa-asatx.

Community

The world can be a tough place these days, but if I know one thing, I know that people can do anything if they work together! I want Small Cow Studio to be a place to connect: to others, to yourself, to the creative spirit!