DONATE TO EXIT HATE
If you would like to support Exit Hate, please donate by clicking the link below
I WANT TO DONATE
Welcome To Exit Family Support
You Are Not Alone
We understand what you're going through,
because we have had a loved one involved ourselves
No Judgement - Just Support
If you have a loved one involved in extremism and don't know what to do, don't worry you are not alone.
Providing non-judgmental support, Exit Hate has a dedicated online family support programme, and we want to help you keep your loved one safe and away from danger.
Offering confidential support, people once registered as a site member can access our online support programme, so families can access this information at any time of the day.
Providing guidance from people who understand, we don't judge, because we are family members who have had a loved one involved ourselves and former members of the far-right who have turned our lives around and left.
Working together, we are here for you and want to support you in understanding why someone can become involved in extremism and how to have conversations that don't end up in arguments, so you can help the person you love see alternatives to extremism and how family life is everything.
Providing guidance via our online support programme and dedicated Facebook support page, you can work through things at your own pace, and if you have a question, you can email us, and we will respond to you within 24 hours - Monday to Thursday.
Staffed mainly by volunteers, our normal working hours are 10-3 PM Monday to Thursday, but our team does work flexibly, so reply times may vary and be outside of these hours.
NOT an emergency service, our support is different, coming from a place of lived experience.
If you need a chat or have a question that isn't answered on our website or via our online support programme, then please email us at: info@exithate.org, and we will respond as soon as we can.
About Us
Exit Family Support is a dedicated programme of Exit Hate, and we are here to help people who think their loved one might be involved in or supportive of ERW (Extreme Right-Wing) extremism.
Working together, our team includes family members who have had a loved one involved and former far-right activists who’ve rejected their past and now use our lived experiences to help others.
As we have been through this ourselves, we know what you’re going through, and we can help. We understand, sympathise, and will never judge.
Supporting families since 2016. We are NOT the Police; there is no risk in contacting us.
Everything you say is in confidence and just between us. We provide support, advice & reassurance tailored to your family’s needs, so your loved one can get back to a normal life.
We’ll work with you to find solutions, explain things along the way and can be contacted every step of the way on your journey.
Part of Exit Hate, a registered charity (1197666), we are here for you.
Need help? Here are your options -
If you want support and would like a chat with someone in confidence, we would always recommend that you reach out to ACT Early who can offer confidential advice and support.
For more information, please visit - https://actearly.uk
Alternatively, you can sign up to our online support programme. Simply visit the menu bar and click on - Module 1 Families, register as a site member, and you will then be given access to our online support programme, which you can then work through at your own pace, in your own time.
Taking away, time restrictions, providing online support means you no longer have to contact us to book an appointment and then wait to see a support worker, instead you can now get guidance from us online, so it is accessible when you have time and then if you have any questions which aren't answered in the programme, you can email us at - info@exithate.org and one of the team will get in touch as soon as we can.
Signs To Be Aware Of.............
It can be worrying when you notice your loved one’s behaviour changing. It can be a difficult time and many parents want to know how to tell if their loved one has become involved with far-right extremism. The truth is there’s no easy answer.
Lots of teenagers push the boundaries as a normal part of growing up, but it doesn’t mean they are being radicalised. The key is to look at the whole picture to see if there’s any real cause for concern.
To help, here are some signs people involved with the extreme right-wing may show.
ATTITUDE
Change in mood. They may be more argumentative or aggressive.
Have a sudden increase in intolerance of other people’s views.
Give ‘scripted’ answers if you question their views.
Feel they are a victim of injustice or blame others for their problems.
BEHAVIOUR
Secretive behaviour – Seeking to hide what they are doing, things to look out for might be, for example, hiding what they are looking at online, either on their phone or their laptop.
Changes in routine, travel, friends or interests. Connecting with people, no one knows,
Idolising historical extremists, for example i.e., Adolf Hitler, Oswald Mosley or both.
Supporting populist figures of today, i.e., Tommy Robinson or Andrew Tate.
APPEARANCE
Change in appearance – This could include people wearing different types of clothes or having new tattoos with symbols that you have never seen before.
Their clothing may become plainer to hide their views, so they don't stick out or it could change where people start to have logos on what they wear, and you have never seen them before. All of this could be a sign that they are supportive of an extremist group.
People could start collecting far-right extremist literature and have it in their bedroom or home, including books like Mein Kampf, Siege and The Turner Diaries. They could also have items like flags, leaflets or posters on display. They may be trying to show their identity, or hide it; this all depends on the group people support.
If you are worried, talk to someone.
Visit ACT Early or call - 0800 011 3764
The Dangers
Without support, your loved one could be manipulated into an act that puts their lives or the lives of others at risk.
Far-right or extreme right-wing groups are powerful and very manipulative.
Young people can be vulnerable to their messages as they struggle to find their identity.
If your loved one has been drawn in by extremists, the fact is that they are at risk.
The extreme right-wing includes radical and violent nationalist and supremacist groups. They can even have links to Satanist and neo-Nazi cults who see people as nothing more than pawns to promote their hate and it's critical we keep as many people away from this lifestyle as possible, because nothing positive will come of it.
Some of these groups are even banned by the UK government, which means that even being a member is a crime and could result in a lengthy prison sentence and therefore getting people out is the best thing we can do for them and yourself , to protect them and others from harm.
Their involvement could land them in prison, threatening their safety and limiting their prospect of living a normal life in the future, including getting a job. Your concern could help them and they will thank you for it later.
Extremist groups brainwash people and can push them to perform acts of violence, even though people may not want to, because they are scared.
Your loved one's exposure to these ideas and acts risks grave physical and psychological harm to people involved and this we call involvement trauma which people can suffer from for many years and this is why we are here to help families like you get your loved ones away from extremist influence and help them rebuild their lives away from danger.
Inside
Stories
Wanting to highlight real Inside Stories, we have created a number of films which show how we have supported families to help loved ones leave the far-right and rebuild their lives. Their stories have been adapted and told by actors to protect the identity of the people we work with.
If you would like to share your story with us, please get in contact with our team, because the more people who know what life is like having a loved one involved, the more people will reach out for support. This can be via a blog article or podcast, whatever you like, and your identity will be protected. Interested? Please email: info@exithate.org
Emma never had any trouble with her two kids when they were growing up until her son Pete became interested in the far-right.
This film tells the story of her ordeal from finding out about Pete’s involvement, through to making contact with us and how we were able to help her get her son back.
Emma's Story
Gavin's Story
Gavin was alarmed to find his son posting fascist videos online. But when he challenged him about it, his son wouldn’t listen.
With expert guidance from Exit Family Support, Gavin tried a different approach.
Slowly, he helped his son turn away from extremism, enrol at college and get his future back.
With Your Help ...........
HOW TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITHOUT ENDING UP IN AN ARGUMENT
The main thing is to avoid arguing and telling them they’re wrong – it could push your loved one further away.
-
Try not to use words like ‘extremist’, ‘racist’, 'nazi', ‘groomed’ or ‘radicalised’, which could make them feel attacked.
-
Talk in a relaxed atmosphere for example at home over a cup of tea.
-
Pick a time that’s good for both of you, try to avoid interruptions and turn off your phone.
-
Tell your loved one you genuinely want to hear what they think – not just what the media says. Explain you know there are things wrong in society and want to know how they think they can make things better. This will open the door to difficult, but honest conversations.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM CONVERSATIONS
Far-right groups are experts at manipulation. You may be shocked to find your loved one now holds beliefs that you find horrific and just not true.
Avoid telling them they are wrong or dismissing their views as extremist propaganda – after all, who likes to be told what they should and shouldn’t believe?
MY LOVED ONE WON’T TALK TO ME
Sometimes with the best will in the world, it’s hard to even get a conversation started. If you are in this situation, please get in touch. We can suggest icebreakers to encourage your loved ones to open up and have conversations to find out why people are angry and why they think being involved in extremism, will help things become better.
WHEN CONVERSATIONS DON’T GO TO PLAN
Being honest this is real life and sometimes your conversations won’t always go the way you want.
If arguments start, the smart move is to take a break. Suggest making a cup of tea or walking the dog – or tell them you have a chore you must do, like going to the shops. This will give you the space you both need.
Once the heat is out of the conversation, ask if you can continue another time. This will leave the door open to talk again and this is very important.
Above all, try not to feel disheartened. It’s a long road, but helping your child is possible and we are here to help you using our lived experience.
People Can Change........
Families Matter
Families are crucial to reducing and challenging extremism in a non-confrontational way.
In this video, we have two special moms, Sarah and Nicola, talking about what it is like having a son involved.
To introduce this video to you, let's hear from Sarah, a mom who had a son involved in the far-right.
Video Introduction
Looking for answers on how we can reduce extremism, Exit works with some amazing people.
In this video, I sit down with a remarkable lady named Nicola Benyahia, who sadly lost her son Rasheed after shrapnel struck him on the Syrian/Iraq border.
Rasheed was there after being radicalised as a teenager. Rasheed snuck away from his home one day, and while his parents, sisters, and loved ones knew something was wrong, they were completely unaware of his involvement.
Worried sick about their precious son and brother, it was only over the coming days, weeks and months that the horrifying truth came out, and they found out that Rasheed had fled the country and joined ISIS.
He was only 19 years old.
Having experienced my own son being radicalised into extremism, Nicola and I had so much to talk about; however, it wasn’t ISIS that stole my son, it was the extreme right wing.
During our conversation, it transpired that our boys were very alike in their nature, the signs of radicalisation and our experiences were both very similar, but the outcomes couldn’t be more different.
In this video, we talk openly and candidly about our journeys of having a loved one involved in extremism and how that feels.
We talk about the confusion, pain, fear and shame that we both felt. We reflect on the past and talk about what we have learned since. And we discuss what parents, families, friends and loved ones can do if they have concerns about someone they love holding extremist and hateful views and ideologies.
Forever indebted, I want to thank Nicola for talking to us and taking part in this film and to commend her on her strength and courage and for everything that she has done since losing Rasheed in trying to raise awareness about the dangers of radicalisation and extremism.
From the bottom of our hearts, we never want another parent to go through what we have, and this is why this film has been created to show that there is always hope, and together we can reduce extremism and keep families safe.
Sarah
Exit Family Support Team
Your Questions Answered
We often get asked similar questions about who we are and how we work, so here are some quick answers to get you started.
Can we trust you? Quite simply, yes. Everyone involved in Exit Hate is either a former activist, a family member who has had a loved one involved or someone who supports people out of the extreme right-wing. We do this because we care.
Everything is in confidence, and the only time we would share information with anyone else is if we thought someone was going to harm themselves or others.
Will you judge me? Never. We’re here to help people, move away from extremism, support families with a loved one involved and help people make a fresh start if they want to. We’ve spent years being judged ourselves, so the last thing we’re going to do is judge anyone else.
How can you help? We offer lived experience guidance.
Understanding that people become involved for many reasons, we know how hard it can be to either want to leave or have a loved one involved. To help, we offer an online support programme for registered site members at www.exithate.com
Here, people can work through and gain lived experience guidance from people who have been through this.
Listening to service users, this approach has been developed, so people can go through our support programme at their own pace, without any pressure or time restrictions, as was previously the case with our 121 mentoring service, where people struggled to make appointments and mentoring sessions.
Now operating with a dedicated online support programme, if anyone has a question, they can email us at info@exithate.org, & one of the team will reply via email within 48 hours.
Providing supportive links, we have a dedicated Facebook support page at https://www.facebook.com/exithatetrust/,
Here we update supporters with news from Exit Hate and also list lots of links to various support agencies, who can help people with lots of different needs.
Offering email support, we also provide one-off answers via email if people cannot find an answer on our website or prefer communication via email.
Operating - Monday - Thursday, 10:30 - 3 PM, we also have a free 0800 telephone line @ 0800 999 1945, anyone can call to chat to someone who cares, understands and will never judge.
Are you the police? No, we’re not, and we won’t report you to the Police for contacting us. Helping you is our main priority, but if someone discusses planning anything violent/criminal, we do have a duty of care to report this in order to safeguard people and society at large.
Seeking to reduce extremism, we advocate education, compassion and understanding as the best ways to help people see things differently and walk away from extremism.
We believe ALL violence and extremism is wrong, and there has to be a better way to solve the problems the world is facing today.
Are you Antifa? No, we are against ALL extremism and violence, because extremism and violence are wrong.
We are completely non-political, and while we are against racism, hatred and division, we believe the best way to solve problems is to sit down, look at the problems in society and look for solutions together.
Will you help people if they are still involved? Yes, of course. We believe everyone is on a journey, and we’re here to help, no matter what group people are involved with or support. All we need people to do is want to walk away from extremism, and commit to following the advice offered and being honest.
What will happen if I contact Exit Hate about myself or a family member?
Depending on what you want - access to outline support programme, a one-off call or email support, we will contact you within a day or 2 and support you on your journey.
What happens if I give you my details? I’m still unsure, and I am afraid about my safety.
We know what it is like to contact someone and be worried about who they are and what will happen to your information. Please note that all information is solely for our use to support you. It is kept securely, and if your records are not updated after 12 months, we destroy your records and then only hold your case number, name used, email listed and a short paragraph about support given. This is so that if you return to us for any reason, we have a simple record saying you have been supported.
Respecting your confidentiality, anonymity is available if you prefer by using a chosen first name and an encrypted email, if you choose, and we can also reply via an encrypted email or Signal if you prefer.
OK, I want to get support. What's the next step? The process is different for everyone.
Options available. include - support from Act Early, which is a dedicated UK safeguarding initiative and website launched by Counter Terrorism Policing to help prevent vulnerable people from being drawn into terrorism or extremist activities.
It provides advice, guidance, and a support line for family and friends concerned about loved ones.
Available 24 hours a day, anyone can speak to a specially trained officer by calling: 0800 011 3764 or visiting - https://actearly.uk/
Support via Prevent can also be gained, often by talking to a designated safeguarding lead (DSL) at school, college or Uni.
They will listen without judgment and can get help for people where needed.
Alternatively, if someone prefers to talk to someone with lived experience, you can talk to us here at Exit Hate, initially reaching out to us via email or by clicking and completing the referral form below.
Seeking to empower people to change, we offer guidance, not instructions and believe people should decide their own paths, as everyone is different.
While we don’t pretend that leaving is easy, we will help you as much as we can to help people walk away from extremism and rebuild their lives.
To start your journey, please review all of the options listed and decide which one is best for you.
Never alone, help is available. But please - Act Now.
*Exit Hate is a small charity, run by a dedicated team of part-time staff and mainly volunteers, so our response times can vary, but we will get back to you as soon as we can.
Need Support?
OK, now you know who we are, what we do and why we do it. Can we help you?
If you would like to gain a better understanding and gain advice from people who have been through this, then please sign up for our online support programme. All you have to do is click on Module 1 families, register as a site member and then work through the programme at your pace and if you have a question, please email us at: info@exithate.org
If you feel you need support and would like to speak to someone from the team, please complete this referral form, and we will see if we can help you.
Mainly run by volunteers, our response times do vary, but we will get back to you ASAP.
Looking for more resources?
Please visit our discussion resources page to access more videos, links and PDF downloads. Just click on the button below.
You can also follow our Facebook page at - https://www.facebook.com/exithatetrust/
Here we have lots of links to additional support links and also articles of interest that may help you.
If you fancy a chat, or have a question that isn't answered on our website or in the online programme, please email us at - info@exithate.org and one of our team will get back to you as soon as they can.
Please note that we are busier than we have ever been before, so responses do vary. Please be patient, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you.
If you would prefer to talk to someone straight away, please contact ACT Early.
To find out more, simply visit https://actearly.uk or call 0800 011 3764.
This telephone is manned by specially trained staff and is available 24 hours a day.
