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i’m allergic to being misunderstood and want people to like me, and that’s why I spend all my time on twitter dot com
Alyssa 🌻
23.6K posts
Alyssa 🌻
@alyssaleann
interior designer. amateur renaissance woman. chronic nuance finder. in pursuit of a life well-lived. your future favorite poster.
Joined December 2012
- A photographer I follow on Instagram has put together that his bronzer use amps up when he’s stressed / close to an election and is tied to his days in the rise of reality tv, and it’s fascinating (More screenshots in replies)
This Post is from a suspended account. Learn more - My husband offered to set up a nap area for me (weighted blanket, water, book, pillows), and I just realized he’s putting me down for a nap so he can go do stuff without me bothering him 😭
- On the plane with a 5 year old whose parents won’t let him have headphones to listen to music because he always scream-sings along [kind of yelling] “I won’t do it this time!” “Buddy, you always say that, and it’s never true”
- I love wandering into parts of the internet that aren’t for me. I never thought about Ramadan cats, how cute!
00:00 - smashmouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming
- I was being sheepish about spending $200 on a dress and my husband goes, “well maybe it would help if you thought about it as a $100 top and a $100 bottom?” Where did he learn girl math??
- At a work dinner I mentioned that my husband works for NASA, and one guy said “it must be nice to have a president who really supports NASA again” And I had to explain that NASA has been ordered to prepare for a reduction in force and he might lose his job They had no idea
- A few years ago, I told my husband that I was sad that my family doesn’t have any heirloom jewelry So now for every occasion, he buys me modest solid gold jewelry, slowly building up a collection Our heirlooms start now. I am the future matriarch
- Two years ago I started pottery classes, hoping to make friends and develop a new skill Tonight I hosted those friends for a dinner where we all brought food in made-by-us serving dishes 🥹
- Gen X vastly overestimates their generational sanity They are not getting nearly enough flack for their weirdos Sorry, you don’t get to be the generation of Marjorie Taylor Greene and Elon Musk and act like y’all are super chill martini drinkersStill the best and most accurate generation meme...
- Absolutely chaotic tv placementJill and I just spoke to @KamalaHarris — we can’t wait to watch her accept this historic nomination. Kamala and Tim will inspire a generation and lead us into the future.
- I watch my husband sometimes, and he does the opposite: takes the overcooked egg, the slightly burnt toast, the smaller slice of cake, the funny end of the tomato Doesn’t say a word, but it’s so obvious that his guiding rule is: “Alyssa gets the best parts”I remember a story (probably on Reddit) about a man who always offered to make his wife's plate. She watches him once and caught her husband giving himself the better parts of meals. Like down to picking out the better lettuce leaves in a salad mix and giving her the brown ones.
