My career gave my newly single life a good kick start. Since the break-up, I received more demands from work and passed the NCLEX which is one of the three exams I will be taking this year to open more opportunities for me in the world of professional nursing since nowadays, being only a BSN graduate and a registered nurse in the Philippines is no longer enough to give you an edge in the labor force.

My current job as a lecturer in review centers gave me an opportunity to expand my knowledge in nursing, skill in teaching, and finance my lifestyle which is quite posh at the moment. Unfortunately, this job blocked my way to fully prepare myself for the upcoming NCLEX. I only had 20 days of self-review while working and I still did not see any reason to reschedule the exam to a later date.

Prior the exam, I had to travel from Baguio to Makati where the examination will be held. During the trip, I came across places where my ex and I used to go to when we were having our vacation in Manila. I consider it one of the best vacations I had in my life only because I was with him. Seeing those scenes triggered memories to float in my mind and while seated in the bus, I was constantly sucked into my inner vacuum and slowly being consumed by the feeling of misery, despair, and loss.

Upon arrival to my hotel room, all of the weakness both physical and emotional met to the point enough to cause distress. Seated on my bed, tears suddenly came rushing out from my tear ducts. They were in a hurry to go out along with the heaviness I was bearing inside. I cried and screamed, sworn bad words, punched the bed and the walls, and threw anything I could touch that I knew would not break. Out of ridiculousness, I even took the laundry from my luggage and washed them while crying. That night was a night of crying, meaninglessness and misery. I finished doing the laundry, stopped crying, and immediately went to bed. I took it as the final and crucial preparation for the NCLEX.

On the next day, I took the NCLEX. There was not a drop of anxiety in my nerves despite the lack of reading and preparation. I took it with all confidence with no concern on the result. Two days after the exam, I knew from the quick result service that I passed. I PASSED! And in front of the computer I once again cried so hard but no longer did I shed tears of misery but rather it was tears of victory that rolled down my face!

From that experience, I learned that I am a victor, not just because I passed the NCLEX and are on the right professional track, but because I know how to cry. Once again I have proven myself that I am indeed a master of my emotions and this is the strongest foundation of my victory.