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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

On my Dead Sea Scrolls Review

"Tertullian is credited with the motto 'Credo quia absurdum' -- 'I believe because it is impossible'. Needless to say, he began life as a lawyer." - H.L. Mencken

***

In March (this year) I got an email from David Byrd, who I had previously featured (peripherally) on this blog, as part of my review of the exhibition, "The Dead Sea Scroll and the Ancient World", in 2009 (Review Part 1, Review Part 2)

(Given that I'm still posting a travelogue from November 2010, the posting of this exchange is not quite as dated as it might seem)

Our exchange follows:

David Byrd: I hope today finds you well.

This is a long overdue follow-up to your blog post concerning the Dead Sea Scroll exhibition that took place in Singapore in the summer of 2009.

Two things:

The first talk was by a "Dr David Byrd". Casual digging did not let me uncover the source of his Ph.D, but the church he presumably belongs to (Folsom Point church of Christ) had an article called "Darwinists Squirm Under Spotlight" in one newsletter, so you know it's not in Biology (or maybe it's in "Christian Biology").

Whoever this person is, it's not me. My doctorate is from Emmanuel Theological Seminary, and it is an honorary doctorate of divinity that was bestowed upon me by the late Archbishop Dr. M.A. Thomas of India (recipient of the prestigious Padma Shree and Mahatma Gandhi awards), whom I believe to be one of the 5 greatest men to have ever walked the face of the earth. As you might imagine, it was quite an honor to receive that recognition from him, and my use of the title is a sign of love and respect for him and for his work. I spend four weeks a year teaching a range of subjects at ETS, which is the primary location of the seminary and Bible College network that he founded. If you want to get a sense of my work, you can access it at www.pisteosdaily.blogspot.com, as well as at www.youtube.com/tcttvnet. Look for my name and TCT Academics.

Byrd also claimed that 4,000 translations of the King James Bible (KJV) exist, and 1,000 languages exist in written form only as KJV translations. Knowing the fetish that many fundamentalists have with the King James Bible, this was surprising only in scale. Given that the Bible exists in some form in only 2,479 languages (and in totality in only 451), even a charitable interpretation of his claim is untenable (more detailed but older statistics).

This is not quite what I said. What I did say, and what I'll stick to, is that the KJV has been highly influential. If you consider dialects, portions of the Bible have been translated into over 4000 languages. This is probably a low number. Due to the missionary efforts of the 17^th - 20^th centuries, half of those translations (largely informal) were originally done as translations from the KJV (roughly 2000). About half of those have never been translated from the original Hebrew or Greek, leaving about 1000 as translations (again, perhaps only portions) only from the KJV. This is not to exalt the KJV, but rather, to emphasize its impact in and on the Christian world. I am far from a fundamentalist, and I have no particular fondness for the KJV as a translation. I don't use it, as there are far better translations, using far better source material, available these days. In fact, I try to change translations every year (though I have been using the NET Bible for the last 14 months). I routinely attempt to disabuse "KJV only" types from their unwarranted position.

On another point that you made, I would respond that reasonable people can disagree on Tyndale's influence. I happen to believe it to be quite profound, and I am not alone in that assessment. What is indisputable is that, prior to his English translation of the New Testament in 1525 (importing much Hebrew and Greek thought and structure into the language), there are no examples of the English language as we now know it and use it. His influence on the English of the KJV is undeniable, as is the KJV's influence on the spread of the English language. He is often spoken of as one of the fathers of English prose.

You also mentioned that "the exhibition's agenda is to convince people that the Bible arrived by fax from Heaven." This is certainly not my position, in the least. In addition, the use of 2 Timothy 3:16 as a proof text for Biblical inerrancy (a position to which I do not subscribe), is indeed a logical fallacy. Along with that, select quotations from Luther are always dangerous and ripe for conflict, as are any quotations lifted out of their context (textual, historical, cultural, political, religious, etc.).

Apart from all that, I was disappointed in the title of the exhibition that was chosen by the event organizers. I felt it was misleading. At the same time, I will tell you that I was not paid to be there, and provided my services as a volunteer, so I had little input in any of the areas of the exhibition. Indeed, my lectures were all that I could control. I attempted to make them informative, engaging, and entertaining, with memorable highlights, without engaging in hyperbole. For the most part, I believe that I achieved that goal, as I find personal credibility to be very important. Others with whom I work do not feel the same way.

I enjoyed reading and re-reading your blog post. Overall, it was an excellent recapitulation of the exhibition and brought back some nice memories.

Me: It's always nice to get feedback on my blog, and thanks for the email.

Sorry for mixing you and the Folson Church guy. It's not always easy to ascertain if people you find online are the ones you are looking for.

It is good to know that you did not agree with all of the claims of the exhibition, as some of them seemed doubtful (at best). If I recall correctly, you were the curator who I disagreed the least with (though there was also one woman I didn't review for some reason - it's been about 1.5 years since the exhibition so I can't quite remember)

I will just comment that in reading and reading about Luther, I find that the quotes are not unfair to him. Of course this was a more brutal and less civilised time, but this doesn't change the fact that Luther was quite intolerant of reason in religious matters. I will also say that the corollary of negative quotes needing to be taken "in context" is that positive ones must be afforded the same charity - but that alas is almost never the case.

David Byrd: No problem on the mix-up...

When it comes to reason and Luther, it is just incredibly important to put his quotes about reason in their context. It takes very little searching via google to find a myriad of treatments of this topic that serve well to demonstrate what he means. With a voluminous amount of writing, the fact that he had a doctorate, was a profound philosopher and theologian, as well as being an educator, the idea that he disavowed the reasonable application of intelligence when it came to matters of religion, is simple untenable. I will add that, though I am a fan of Luther and have ready hundreds of his sermons (he serves as a bit of an inspiration, as the church, because it becomes too comfortable in its being situated alongside and in support of the world's power structures, is always in need of reforming), I do not march in lockstep with him, especially since we are now in a far better position to ascertain the first century world in which Jesus lived and Paul wrote. Luther's view of first-century Judaism was mediated through the prism of 16th century Catholicism, causing him, especially in his doctrine of justification by faith, to retroject ideas into and on to first century Judaism that were anachronistic to his own day, and which we have now discovered (utilizing the foundation that Luther served to provide) were not correct. I would venture to say that Luther, if alive today, would continue to update and modify his views, and that is the least credit we can give to a brilliant theologian and earnest seeker after truth.

Please feel free to post my email on your blog. Also, as I said, if you want to get a sense of the work that I am doing and the positions that I take in regards to Christianity and Scripture, please feel free to visit my blog (www.pisteosdaily.blogspot.com). There, I post daily commentaries on Scripture. In them, I do my absolute best to contextualize Scripture. Also, a visit to the website of the church of which I am a part (Academia Church, www.academiachurch.com), might pique your interest a bit. We take scholarship very seriously, so I am sure you would appreciate some of what can be found there.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

An Indonesian reacts to my Jogjakarta Travelogue

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

***

Him: Wow. This has GOT to be the most depressing travel writing I've ever read. It baffles me how you manage to make one of the most beautiful countries in the world so degenerated, so unappealing, and so unworthy of visitation. I think it's not Indonesia's fault, it's YOUR fault to think that every country should be as clean and sterile as your beloved Singapore. Well let me tell you something, miss - Singapore may be safe and sterile, but it has absolutely no character whatsoever. Most of your people are faceless, character-less, and are more than ready to leave and betray their own country if there's a better and more financially viable opportunity elsewhere. Most Singaporeans have no real love and nationalism towards their country, and I think that's sad. And admit it - most of you are so sick and tired of your mundane, uninteresting country that you try and travel out of your pathetic culture-less little island as often as you can - even to such 'dilapidated' countries like Indonesia. You know, most first-world citizens can understand that each country has different ways and can think positive about third-world countries. They can turn their otherwise dirty and uncomfortable travel into a charming, positive, life-affirming experience. It's so sad to see a Singaporean like you who just cannot see past the poverty and lack of polish that Indonesia has and realize that what you're getting in Indonesia - nature's beauty, culture, and history - is something that all YOUR dirty Singaporean money (who, 50% are from Indonesian investments in Singapore ANYWAY) cannot buy. Grow up and stop complaining!!!

PS: If you want decent food that are perhaps closer to Singapore "perfection", don't go to Jogja, you silly person!! Jogjakarta isn't exactly what we call the showcase city of international standard! In Jakarta, you can get all the hygienic, BIG-portioned, International-standard food you want. And plus, what are you, an ignoramus?? RIJSTTAFEL IS PRACTICALLY EXTINCT IN INDONESIA!! It's part of our colonial past and most current-generation Indonesians don't even know what it is anymore! In fact, the only place I can think of that still serve authentic Rijstaffel is Jakarta's Oasis restaurant, and THAT'S IT!

Me: I'm not surprised that you found this depressing travel writing - because Indonesia was depressing.

A place where people try to cheat you of your money every day (if it's of any comfort, they didn't try and cheat me as much as in China), of blatant discrimination against foreigners (who have to pay 10x the entrance fees for Borobudur and Prambanan that locals do), where KKN is a way of life and whose people seem to love eating junk food.

Dirt and discomfort are relatively minor downsides of a country compared to these. And do note that the romanticised talk of the "charming, positive, life-affirming experience" just smacks of Orientalism.

I have no idea why you think I think every country should be clean and sterile, or that I find Singapore the best place on earth. Your rant about Singapore, while having much merit, is irrelevant to your aim of sliming me, just as the fact that South Korea has an unhealthy attitude to plastic surgery is irrelevant when one is talking about North Korea being being a brutal, authoritarian regime.

While you are stuck on your moral high horse, you might like to note that I only said that it was "annoying" that no one knew what Rijstaffel was - not that people should be as familiar with it as nasi putih.

Incidentally, I have been to Jakarta and I find the food there wanting. Not to mention in the same league of soulessness as Singapore.

Him: First of all, I know exactly why you have so many complaints about Indonesia - it is because you're a Singaporean - and every sane intelligent being in this universe knows that that's what Singaporeans are best at - complaining. Your so-called travelogue is just a long list of complaints, and it's literally hurting my eyes reading them. Don't you have just a sliver of humanity and find something positive about your travels? I have been to horrid places like Malaysia - where taxis are so smelly, decrepit and even more 'ancient' than in Jakarta that you have to haggle for prices on every trip just as you would for Jakarta's Bajaj and Myanmar - where there are no escalators - but still, I can find something good to write about those countries. And I'm not even that much of a positive person!

You are saying that my rant about Singapore is irrelevant. In most other cases this is perhaps true but I have my reasons for bringing Singapore to the equation. I see that the root of your displeasure and constant complaining stems from the fact that you live in one of the most, if not THE most sterile, safe, and developed country in the world. In other words, you were born with a silver spoon stuck up your posterior and grew up spoiled rotten amidst the comfort of your picture-perfect infrastructure establishments. This will inevitably mar your judgement on other countries on a subconscious level. The analogy would be getting sick from a drop of tap water when one only consumes Evian water all one's life.

Either that, or you're just not cut out for traveling. Perhaps you should realize that and stay in that golden cage of yours. Lord knows, it's better for yourself, and better for the Indonesians as well - I'm sure they can afford one less high-maintenance, fastidious tourist such as yourself.

We can find faults in everything. Even I can easily find ten faults within the one minute that I stepped my two feet on Changi Airport. But out of common decency and being a reasonable person that I am, I chose not to complain.

By the way, paying 10x entrance fees when you're a foreigner is not a discrimination. In fact, you should feel honored that you're charged 10x, because then you can say that it is YOUR money that contributes to a greater extent the preservation of the attraction. I guess that explains why Indonesians treat foreigners with more courtesy while treating their fellow countrymen like second-class citizens. If you think that this is discrimination, then you should visit Brunei - a land where its citizens don't even pay for anything and yet foreigners have to pay for everything. Is that discrimination? Of course not. It's just common sense. Likewise in Indonesia - e.g. Borobudur is not Universal Studios Singapore, which is privately built for profit. It is owned by all Indonesians. Why should tax-paying Indonesians pay to visit their own property?

Foreigners paying extra for admission fees is actually a prevalent phenomenon in many countries.

In fact, I can ask you the very same thing - why do foreign students in Singapore secondary schools have to pay $200 for monthly school fees but locals only pay $5? Why are foreigners charged $300 for a single night at Mount Elizabeth hospital when locals only pay $100? Think about that. Subsidization is not discrimination.

BTW, I seldom find food wanting in Jakarta. I do, often find food wanting in Singapore. Food in Singapore is, as the Chinese puts it, "有美沒有味" - pretty to look at but tasteless. Well, I guess as you commented on your Plaza Senayan Marygold clock video, "De gustibus non est disputandum". However, I still maintain that upscale food in Jakarta is up to international standards.

BTW don't start quoting Confucius on my account - I actually can barely speak Mandarin / any Chinese dialects.

Me: If you beg the question about my complaints (and hurl insults at me to boot), then there is nothing I can say. I will just note that I am fair. For example, if I recall correctly I expressed admiration for Borobudur and Prambanan (thou. Saying positive things for the sake of saying positive things is dishonest and condescending - just as much as saying negative things for the sake of saying negative things. To have a genuine engagement it is necessary to take off the kid gloves.

As for me being a high maintenance tourist, you obviously have no idea what you're talking about. I take budget airlines, sleep in hostels, eat street food and essentially never take taxis in developing countries. Perhaps to Indonesians "high maintenance" means something very different, like "low expectations".

I have nothing to say about your justification of differential pricing (not to mention being unable to recall places which have differential pricing by *nationality*). No, actually I have to say that I will be very glad to "honour" the Indonesians I meet in the future. As for Borobudur belonging to Indonesians that is extremely problematic. Suffice it to say that UNESCO declares that the UNESCO World Heritage Sites "belong to all of humanity", and that Indonesia is a State Party to the UNESCO World Heritage Convention, and has not only acquiesced to this but actively endorsed it.

Healthcare in Singapore is priced differently because it is state-subsidised as a matter of public policy, and being a basic good. Furthermore, there is a subsidy by individual - i.e. the government pays the healthcare provider the differential for each citizen/PR who is given subsidised treatment. I am very certain that the Indonesian government does not pay the foundations maintaining Borobudur and Prambanan for each Indonesian they pay host to. Incidentally Mount Elizabeth is a private hospital so foreigners and locals pay the same rates.

I don't disagree with you on Singaporean food. I don't understand why you have to look at it as a zero-sum game, as if every flaw of Singapore is a plus point for Indonesia, and vice versa.

Him: Betwixt honesty and insult lies a very fine line.

Reading your entries on Indonesia, it gives me an impression that you have made it a point to ridicule the country. As any red-blooded Indonesian, it is my right to be insulted by your negative insinuations. That said, I do not mean this as a zero-sum game at all.

Perhaps I am emotional, but when you are being too honest about something, it is almost certain that you will end up offending someone. This is not like an African-American calling himself the N-word or a Jewish comedian making fun of his own race - you're dealing with a country that is not your own, and if social conventions mean anything to you, you should show some respect. It does not matter if you're the analytical sort and value honesty above everything - even to the point that you can safely state that it's OK for me to be brutally honest about your Singapore to reciprocate. The point is, writing derogatory remarks about others will inevitably evoke offense. Not every person has the stomach to swallow brutal honesty.

You could be more compassionate and perhaps end this post with some sort of sympathy - or at least pathos - but you had to rub salt on an open wound by showing further 'honest' quotes.

As a citizen of a developed nation, any insults, or even a single speck of condescending remark towards a less-developed nation will be frowned upon. Such is the fate of the privileged. I'm sure you had enough quality education to be able to realize that.

Now that I've stated my reasons, I hope we can get past the personal issues and get on with the facts.

Your argument about UNESCO is slightly off the point. True, Borobudur is a world heritage site and Indonesians are aware that it might be a problem in the long run as to who has the right to manage the site - but that does not in any way mean that the Indonesian government can treat Borobudur as anything but a property of the Indonesian government. As long as Borobudur is within the sovereignty of Indonesia, it is ultimately possible that Indonesia can deem that it is within Indonesia's power to treat Borobudur as it sees fit.

The different ticket pricing between local and international tourists in Borobudur IS a huge controversy, even in Indonesia. However, it is most certainly not based on racism or discrimination. A lot of policies in Indonesia are very much outdated and as you might realize, tourism in Indonesia (outside Bali) is not in a developed state. Even Bali itself is not as tourist-friendly as it is supposed to be, and pales in comparison in regards to tourism infrastructure to Bangkok or Kuala Lumpur, let alone Singapore.

30-odd years ago, the dual admission ticket pricing policy was adopted because Indonesia was miserably poor. Therefore, the government decides to charge Indonesian citizens less than foreigners - based on the (somewhat incorrect) assumption that all Indonesians are poor and all foreigners are rich. They figured that when a foreigner can shell out thousands of dollars in air ticket cost to fly to Indonesia, then the admission ticket price to tourist attractions in Indonesia should be proportionate to their transportation cost, based on the comparative study conducted by the Indonesian government in developed nations. Foreigners are also given further incentives such as preferential treatments, shuttle bus services, etc (I have no idea how this is enforced - the only time I've been to Borobudur was 20 years ago when I was 7).

I'm not saying that this is a correct decision - but I will say that this is an inevitable decision. In one way or another, realization that Indonesians were in fact poor and foreigners were in fact much wealthier will occur and there is no just way to satisfy both the goal of maintaining enough income to preserve Borobudur and being fair to all visitors regardless of nationality.

Perhaps I can illustrate that a similar phenomenon also occurs in Singapore - whereby (historically) poorer ethnic Malays and Indians are exempted from paying school fees while (historically) wealthier ethnic Chinese have to pay a certain sum - albeit a meager one at that. I don't see this as a discrimination - but rather as a correct reflection on prevalent social stratification. I have no idea how the current situation is - but that is how it was a decade ago.

Getting native Indonesians to even pay at all in order to visit Borobudur was in itself a huge difficulty. As I said before, Borobudur is not like e.g. Resorts World Sentosa. Borobudur is something that the native has a spiritual, historical, and even intellectual relationship with. Charging admission for Indonesians to enter Borobudur is perhaps as controversial and repulsive as charging the Japanese to visit the Meiji-jingu or Fuji-yama.

Lately, as Indonesia progressed to become a functioning democracy and has a relatively healthy economic growth, it is soon realized that not all Indonesians are poor (anymore) and not all foreigners are (still) wealthy. Incidentally, the most vociferous opinion about the obsolescence of the dual admission price system came from inside Indonesia. If I recall correctly, this issue was widely debated in various national fora.

So while your argument about unfairness in admission prices has its merits, you should realize that it does not stem from discrimination per se.

By the way, I was perhaps too quick to judge that you are a high-maintenance tourist. I'll take that back. You are, in fact, a delusional tourist to think that Indonesia has the same standard as Singapore. By GDP per capita alone, it is a fact that an average Singaporean makes in excess of 10 times an average Indonesian. Obviously, this reflects in the level of development in Indonesia as well. Street food in Indonesia cannot be compared to street food in Singapore (if there is one). If you want something that satisfy your Singaporean high standards, then obviously you should foray to the upmarket facilities in the developed parts of Indonesia. However, this is something you choose not to do but you still complain nevertheless. 一分钱一分货 - you get what you pay for.

Also, thanks for correcting me about Mount Elizabeth hospital charges. I was slightly confused. What I mean to say was foreigners has to be admitted in (at the very worst) a 4-bedded accommodation without having the option for a more reasonable 6-bedded accommodation.

I apologize if my rants about Singapore offends you - but I am not sorry to feel offended by your Indonesian travelogue. Along with my fellow countrymen I have strove to rebuild Indonesia's image from terrorist-torn chaos to an increasingly decent country to visit. And I'm not going to let some uneducated reader deduce from your posts that that's what Indonesia only has to offer - some unhygienic frozen chicken nuggets and unchewable sate kambing.

The internet is a free forum - you have the right to write whatever you wish. But I refuse to think that you are so inhumane that you would mean harm to my country so I implore you to think about the implications before you write.

PS: Tell me, do you take satisfaction in pointing out the bad things about other countries? Are you doing this so you feel more assured that you're much better off being Singaporean? Is this a theme of your blog - insults masked by honesty?

Me: Sure, I know people will get offended and I am acutely aware of double standards and 'minority' privilege. I'm not disputing that that will happen. But as one of my sociology lecturers said, "My aim is to offend at least 2 people every lecture... I want to offend at least 10% of the people every lecture... or at least to get 10% of the people thinking about things that they've never thought about before." If we never dared to offend people, we would never get anywhere.

It's good to know that Indonesians themselves are not in accord over discriminatory pricing. I can assure you that there was no preferential treatment - the only 'advantages' we got were an airconditioned 'welcome' area and 'free' tea/coffee and mineral water.

In Singapore Malays are exempted from paying school fees, that is true. But just because a policy exists in one place does not mean that it is justified elsewhere. For example, I oppose this policy.

The Japanese do not pay to visit Meiji-jingu or Fuji-san - but then foreigners do not either. As I've said, Indonesia is the only place I've found such discriminatory pricing policies.

Where did I think Indonesia had the same standard as Singapore?! My observation about Indonesian street food was that it was junk food. This comes not from comparing it with Singaporean restaurants. One must compare like with like - I did/do not expect Indonesian street food to be of Michelin Star quality. I speak of my experience with street food (or the closest thing to such) all around the world. And Malaysian street food is better than in Singapore, incidentally.

I am not offended by criticism or rants - only by irrationality.

PS: I point out bad things about Singapore also. And I point out good things about other countries. So your hypothesis is false.


Separately, on YouTube:

My video: Spectacle at Jakarta Shopping Centre (Mall): "Totally pointless and not even aesthetically appealing"

Him: It is NOT pointless. You obviously know nothing about watchmaking. This isn't just some TOY you can control with a remote or your cheap quartz watch. The movement of the dolls are actually integrated to the clock gear system and it's very complicated to make. This is a genuine Seiko clock from Japan, custom made for Plaza Senayan. It costs tens of thousands of dollars. It's the same reason why a rolex costs $10,000 - genuine clocks are complicated to make.

Me: I have the highest respect for people who pour time, energy and expertise into setting up elaborate Rube Goldberg machines, but this does not mean that there is some worth - teleological or otherwise - in making them.

The mere complexity or cost of something does not lend it intrinsic (or even, perhaps, extrinsic) value.

You might want to look up "White Elephant" in the dictionary.

Him: You're saying that just because you think that it is "pointless" and aesthetically unpleasing, you assume that it's a white elephant. Well then, you might want to look up the term "philistine" in the dictionary. Anyway, the point of the elaborate clock is to tell the time in a spectacular way. Simple as that. I appreciate the engineering and design value of a musical clock, but I feel that it is pointless explaining the reason why to (what I assume) a utilitarian such as yourself.

Me: De gustibus non est disputandum. As I mentioned it is "not even aesthetically appealing"

Him: Oh my. Quidquid latine sit, altum videtur, non? Anyway, as I have implied, just because you think that it is not aesthetically appealing, doesn't mean that it's pointless. Unless you can convince me otherwise.

Me: You missed out the "dictum" in "dictum sit"

[Addendum: Comment he posted on my YouTube profile:

"I like you, Gabriel. I thought you were disdainful but I was wrong. You're complacent, condescending, acerbic, and have a penchant for proverbia latina - you remind me of my very own self. Latine loqui coactus sum quoque. Perhaps somewhere in a parallel universe, we can actually be amici. Salve!"]


In conclusion, I draw your attention to the Google results for "indonesia sucks" with those for "indonesia rocks" - though there are more for the later, virtually none of them are praise for it; most are for some rock concert or for geology-related sites.


someone: "wow, that eric person is really sad

i'm like...dude, i know your country used to be a great empire with lots of civilisation, culture, history etc, but that doesn't change the fact that it's now a shithole

and few sgpreans wd disagree with him that sgp is boring and sterile and has no culture or history next to indonesia...but at least its a boring and sterile with first world amenities"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Guestbook entry from a junior (by 10 years)

"omg i found this site while trawling the web for PW EoM material and i have to say that you are completely awesome (:
here's hoping you dont ever outgrow the awesome : D"

Yayness!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

"You know, Barbara is unstable. She is too big, and spends too much."

"There is never enough time, unless you're serving it." - Malcolm Forbes

***

An email I got:

"http://gssq.blogspot.com/2001/11/now-that-google-has-finally-reindexed.html

In the above entry, there is a .wav file of George H. W. Bush that was spliced together. I haven't heard it in over 10 years and would love to get my grubby hands on it again. Sadly, the link in your blog is now broken. (9 years later I'd hope so). I was wondering if you possibly had that wav file you could email. For a bit of a walk down memory lane, it would be awesome. Thanks in advance!

Thanks for your time,

~clone"


Listen to the MP3 (which seems patched together mostly from his State of the Union address):

[Addendum: Unfortunately as of February 2012 Odeo has gone down]

Or download the original WAV [Addendum: Unfortunately so has my homepage, so here it is on 4shared, till it goes down and someone tells me about it:



Page link]


Transcript:

"You know, Barbara is unstable.

She is too big, and spends too much. She's nagging, lazy and uninspired, but when Barbara holds my pride, I have always risen to the occasion.

This may seem frivolous, and it don't mean itself, but this weekend, we did it together, right here in this chamber, pushing, my missile inch by inch further and deeper, and I'm huge, and I think twice - really - that this is no time to boast.

Tonight she wanted me to know that some day having a good time must end. Which means, no more next year than this year, oh no, this will not stand!

She now recognises that I have needs; my piece is hard and it has been languishing in these Hallowed Halls for years now.

There're certain things that a president can do without the wife, and I'm gonna do them. Let me level with ya, I relish I'm good, and job, and I cannot wait.

Let me tell you what you can do. Give me the same thing 43 Governors have - a new woman under complete government control. And you, pay the bill.

And finally, I had a joint tonight, and it is, kicking in now. And that is fine. No one ever thinks - I need drugs, but after all, a man needs a vice.

You know, I have bad dreams. This time, I saw Elvis - that thief - making fun of my life, and you know, my thing.

*This* will not stand. Thank you, and God Bless our beloved country, thank you very very much."

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

"Any fool can carry on, but only the wise man knows how to shorten sail" - Joseph Conrad

***

I know that my various antics amuse people, but this is the first time I have (apparently) saved a life:

"you literally saved my life. i have been searching for a way to look more real and natural. Breast forms sticking out a shirt just really dont look natural so thank you now i can continue transition without ending my life"

(comment on my How a guy (or very flat girl) can get decent cleavage with a few nu bras and a pushup bra YouTube video)

In other news, I think the majority of my YouTube subscribers became cross-dressers a while back.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

***

Feedback I got on Improve Your English (wow, people actually read it!):


"You have a lot of great phrases to help others in catching mistakes. However, one phrase in the "Misspelled/Odd/Funny/Erroneous Signs" section is actually correct, but marked wrong:

- There are also news and traffic updates to make that drive home even smoother. (is)

To say, "There is also news and traffic updates" is a common MISTAKE that many native English speakers make. However, since the goal of your page is to help people speak English correctly, the subject and verb should agree. To see if they do, use this rule: simplify the sentence.

If the word "updates" is the subject you can simplify to "There are updates."
"Are" goes with the plural noun "updates".

If the words "news and traffic" are the subject of the sentence simplify to "There are news and traffic". You still use the verb "are" because the two things "news" and "traffic" combine to form a plural subject.

If you say "is" it sounds okay, unless you restructure the sentence. "Updates is there." is clearly wrong, just like "There is updates."

Enjoy the English language!"


Gosh, that entry is very old.

I'd like to think my kungfu has improved since then.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

"The world is my lobster." - Henry J. Tillman

***

An email from Hum Sup Guy on HWMNBN's words: "if you think Singaporean girls are materialistic, anorexic, overdress, bitchy, emotional, fond of drama and sexist, it's even worse in Hong Kong. Over there, there's no such thing as going Dutch - the guy always pays":

"Having noted the words of wisdom from He Who Must Not Be Named, I attended a CNY dinner in *** with members of the Hong Kong society, primarily girls, to test out his hypothesis. I am afraid that after lunching with them (whom I consider a fairly representative sample of the typical Hong Kong girl), I am forced to conclude that HWMNBN's hypothesis is indeed precise and accurate. For further precision, I observe that they tend to favour alcoholic binges.

... I would appreciate it very much if you could send me an RGS pinafore for my birthday. It's on *** of November."

HWMNBN's reply: "Should clarify that yoru friend's sample isn't representative - the ones who make it overseas to study are never representative of the actual situation on the ground. He should try some of the home-grown variety... [HK girls in HK]'re far worse. but different genus. differnece between country mouse and city mouse in some ways" [Ed: Unfortunately he did not say more about the topic, even when prodded]

HSG's note: "I shall make it a point to visit Hong Kong in the summer and submit a full length report replete with photographs to sense the situation on the ground."

PS: Anybody who wishes to donate an RGS pinafore to Hum Sup Guy: please email me, thank you.

***

Wth ads:

"Genocide Ringtones
Want Genocide Ringtone? 100% Complimentary - Get It Here!
SG-Ringtones.com/Compliment" (on my blog)

"S'pore Luxury Backpacker
Free broadband, next to MRT station Groovy hip designer budget lodging!" (on 'Asia Travel' aka Streetdirectory.com)

And on Tomorrow.sg:
Image
"Generous scholarships. Available here. Lee Kuan Yew Sch of Public Policy."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Meditating on the words of the Lord (specifically Deuteronomy 32:35) to help cope with a current existential dilemma have put me in a righteous fervour, thus I am inspired to help prop up Gabriel's defence against the face of blustering stupidity of people who don't realise that putting your image voluntarily on the net can haunt you forever without adequate control (to Gabriel: Now you understand my paranoia)

For the uninitiated, the post below refers to a little fracas Gabriel had when putting up semi-gravure kawaii pics of a NTU academic that were on a public website/blog and simultaneously linking to her NTU profile. Below are excerpts from the conversations quoted on the deleted post without the photos/urls (Gabriel is either too cowardly or too lazy to only take down the photos - readers who know him should be able to guess which).

I also think Asst. Prof Xu Rong should count herself damn lucky that Gabriel is both nice enough to accede to her request as well as indolent enough to desire avoidance of confrontation - other parties would have been more belligerent - and rightfully so - in the face of an (implied) threat with no substance.

Convo excerpts follow:

A: i dont know........... im not 100% convinced

Me: ...........and dawn yang didn't have plastic surgery

B: she looks slightly different leh

Me: yah it's called makeup and photography
B: no la i tot its the mouth parthahha
her mouth looks different in both photos
ok la maybe its just the smile i guess

Me: haha modelling must pout mah

MFTTW: Specialization in instrumentation techniques and data interpretation for GC, XRD, FTIR, UV-vis, ICP, EA, TGA/DTA/DSC, in situ TGA-IR, BET, XPS, AFM, SEM, TEM
hahahahhaha that is soooo bogus
that is like saying ... "if you printed a paper and you can't read what is printed on the paper we'll help to "interpret" the data"
...i think sg univs are still quite conservative in their opinions of having professors post bikini photos online
Me: that's why not world class...
MFTTW: actually to be honest i was more ocncerned with her NUS bs-ms-phd credentialsi supose now that NUS is top 20 universiites in the world our phds are considered "world-class"

C: er if she wasn't a prof i'd say ok
Me: hahahaha you don't like smart women ah
C: i got no prob with smart women lajust think tt profs shdn't parade in bikinis. somehow it feels wrong

Cock: sooo....she's a hot bod academicthat isn't actually unusual.questions arise whether or not it would be improved by losing those glasses.but it is fine as it is, as far as i can tell.
Me: not unusual meh
academics are all...
anyway when did you last find an academic who's a model?!

Cock: not many, but many fit and astonishingly intelligent people.exist. in oxford.

D: She is another perfect reason for Singaporeans to hate china women
....Not only do china women seduce cheekopeks at kopitiams, they are starting to target the young 'uns too
And take away our jobs, positions
Foreign talent.

E: chey. i thought you were goingto show me some sex video she featured in or something

F: are they the same person?
Me: am I fat?
F: no
Me: ...

G: who is thislooks like your ex gf
H: oh she's a model?I thought those were personal pictures that someone put up
Me: ...WHO TAKES PERSONAL PICS LIKE THAT
H: I would if I had a girlfriend who looked like that!

I: fake boobs i think
the shape

J: damn gross lol she is prob at least 28and she acts like she is 15
gross cause she acts so young
thats the most offensive...u are suddenly so forgiiving!
jus cause she is hot
tsk tsk
oh well i shd have expected so HA
Me: pls lah who don't I forgive
J: lol dont ask difficult qns


[Gabriel: A very good way of getting most guys to do something is to accuse them of being scared to do it.

Since banks worldwide are in trouble, the paranoia of a person who will never work in a bank is perfectly understandable.]

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." - Anonymous

***

In reference to this post:


Xu Rong:

To Gabriel Seah:

http://gssq.blogspot.com/2008/01/nothing-is-more-admirable-than.html

I am writing this mail to request you to kindly remove my photos and related messages from the above Blog which is owned and managed by you according to the information given inside this Blog. They were re-posted in your blog without my permission. If no action is taken by you, I will consult a lawyer to seek advice for necessary actions.

Thank you and I appreciate your kind help.

Regards
Xu Rong


Me:

Hi Xu Rong,


I can understand that you may have strong feelings (of various kinds, and for various reasons) about this but threatening someone is not the best way to get that person to do something.

Just for your information, I am quite sure that the lawyer will tell you that you cannot do anything, since I was not being defamatory (you put the pictures and text up yourself). A case might be made for copyright infringement, but I did not post many pictures so fair use would probably cover it. In any case, even if a judge ruled in your favour I doubt you would get much in damages.

In any case, since you asked me to take the pictures down (in a fashion), I will. I assure you that it will be useless, though, since once something goes up on the Internet it is there forever.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with what you did, especially since the pictures were work-safe. Evidently you didn't think there was anything wrong either (since you linked to your NTU home page in your first blog post).

I think an academic who is not afraid to model, shattering the traditional mold, is something we need to see more of, but then, people are judgmental and closed-minded. You may have heard of Sarong Party Girl/Miss Izzy, who posted nude pictures of herself in the past. I think she's getting along fine now. Of course, she isn't employed by a government-linked company either, but let's hope that NTU is enlightened; a Global University of Excellence should accept that its staff have wide-ranging interests.

I hope this episode has not damaged your life/career.

Good luck.


PS: I will be posting your email and my reply on my blog as an explanation for the post's removal.


omy - 新闻 News: 南大女讲师 网上贴性感照

Saturday, January 26, 2008

2 of my pictures are going to be used in other media!

Image
Firstly, this picture of the Farnese Globe (from one of the Naples travelogue posts) will be used in the book "Cosmic Discoveries", by Paul Murdin (published by Thames and Hudson in 2009).

Image
Next, this is going to be used to promote the "Next Wave" arts festival in Melbourne.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

"There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say." - Cyril Connolly

***

Someone on reading my blog more often last time: "Then I got simply too busy, I still do pop by once in a while. Read it way before you started appearing in the media. Back when blogging was still innocent, people were still talking about which school's uniforms is the hottest, before blogs became the next land that the gah'men has to conquer next..."

[On the writer of a mythology compilation] "Thomas Bulfinch, in his day job, was a clerk in the Merchant's Bank of Boston, an undemanding position that afforded him ample leisure time in which to pursue his other interests."
Meh. I want to be a bank clerk too.

Another Blue Bear-related message: "Hi, I know this will seem strange, but can you tell me what the brand name of your blue teddy bear is? I think I had one VERY similar when I was a baby up until almost 10 years ago and I've been trying to locate another. I think they might be from the same company, which would really help my search. Thank you so much for your time!". Must be a very popular design. Pity I can't help.

Apparently the profession best represented in the ranks of IMH patients is teaching.

In the supermarket I saw packets of baking ingredients made by the same company. One was cocoa flavoured chips and the other was chocolate chips. One was made in Indonesia and the other Malaysia. No prizes for guessing which was which.

Wedding dinners should just start later officially. If you say one is going to start at 7:30, people may come at 8:30, but if you say it starts at 8:30, they can't come at 9:30. Someone pointed out to me that wedding dinners starting late was a tradition, but I pointed out that so was footbinding.

It is fashionable to claim that one is spiritual and not religious, but when you scratch these people a bit you find that they are indeed religious. This is just as well, as without the mantle of religious respectability they would otherwise be labelled as delusional.

The next time someone blares the tired old line about how race and religion are sensitive and non-negotiable issues in Singapore, and discussing them could bring on riots, I will respond that Malay racial privileges are a sensitive and non-negotiable issue in Malaysia, and that bringing in meritocracy and racial equality could cause the country to implode (or someone to use the Kris), and see what happens when 2 national mythologies collide.

If 2 people who know each other totally hide their Facebook profiles from the world (ie you can't even message or add them as friends), you have a problem (like what you get when 2 people hide offline in MSN - but at least they can still message each other). Gah.

Do underwire bras ever set off metal detectors?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

"Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else." - James Thorpe

***

In the City Harvest comments box: "singapore has hope because of people like you. not afraid to question things, and speak your mind."
Aww, that's awfully sweet...

I am amused at how "Friesche Vlag" is translated into English in Malaysia and Vietnam not as "Friesian Flag" but "Dutch Lady".

For some reason, when Malay food is cooked in large quantities, Chinese-style vegetables will be served (and often the dish is cauliflower). Someone said it was a swap, since Chinese zi cha stalls have sambal kang kong.


"As you step into Little India, prepare for an assault on the senses" - STB website. Wah, racist! Heads will roll!!!

In one Chinese Clan association, they don't even use dialect during meetings, but English. Hah.


A study by the Singapore Children's Society found that children's happiness was not affected by family income (see also Children say money can't buy happiness). This kills another of the mumbo-jumbo excuses used by modern liberals to claim that single-parent families aren't worse for children's happiness than more traditional forms of the family (despite the existence of studies which control for income, which prove the same thing). Another common mumbo-jumbo tactic is to find isolated examples and to trump them as disproving the point, but somehow that never works when you try that with successful members of subaltern groups.

One of the many contradictions in feminism is that they are committed to securing easy access to abortion. Yet, to saddle men with unwanted children (or child support), they have to stress the danger, stress and trauma of abortion, in which case, restrictions and regulations on it would be called for (think of the indemnity forms you have to sign and the informed consent that has to take place before major operations). Another contradiction is that with regard to fetuses, men have responsibilities (they have to pay child support even if they don't want the child) but no rights (since the fetuses can be aborted at any time over their strenuous objections). You can't have it both ways, except in a sexually stratified society.


MGS girls have to French braid their hair. You learn something new everyday.

Someone said my hair had something wrong with it, and that it looked dead. Wth.


I was in the Forum with 3 others. We had one Thinkpad, one ASUS, one Toshiba and one Mac. The only terminal unable to connect to the NUS network was the Mac. Hurr hurr.

Someone was unable to eject a CD from her Mac laptop - apparently there is no hardware eject button on them. Pity.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

"First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time." - Honore de Balzac

***

"hi, my name is ***. i'm a XX yrs old chinese-canadian guy living in Toronto (will be working in HK soon). just read your blog about your trip to indonesia, and i have a question for you.

in your blog you've said something about meeting ang moh girls in Laban Rata. were you serious or just joking? if you weren't joking, are there a lot of asian guys meeting white girls at Laban Rata?

thanks, ***"


Uhhhhhhhhh.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Subject: Kinderdijk cruise

Message:

Hello,

We are developers and producers of educational (videoand e-learning) content. Curently we are developing Physics e-learning program. One of the topics is also Energy of the wind. The program will be available free to Slovene schools.

On the Youtube we have found your "Kinderdijk cruise" video. We kindly ask you for copyright permission to use some inserts from it in our e-learning project.

Many thanks for your reply.

***

please reply to ***@***.*** (more)


Wow, a chance to contribute to the knowledge store of mankind! How can I refuse?!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

A comment by Acharya:


Stumbled upon your site while doing some research for my forthcoming book Who Was Jesus? You look too young to have written this piece! :)

Acharya S
Author, "The Christ Conspiracy"
http://www.truthbeknown.com

Saturday, June 16, 2007

An email I got:

"Hey there, do u have some pics of sexy rgs or rjc girls? Saw your blog. Fantastic man!"

Wth.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

"Winning may not be everything, but losing has little to recommend it." - Dianne Feinstein

***

A reader on this post:


"I believe that was "ochazuke" with tonkatsu set.

ochazuke is basically broth with rice, comes in many variations such as salmon ochazuke, plum ochazuke, etc.

you were most probably supposed to put the ingredients from the smaller bowls into the rice and then pour the broth into it.
it is very tasty. try it again if you can :D"


Thanks! I wonder if I can find ochazuke in Singapore...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Picture with a Teddy Bear on your blog

Hi there!

This will probably be the most random blog comment ever, but I figure I'll try it anyhow. Throughout my day of researching blogs and clicking through endless seemingly unrelated links, I somehow found my way to your post from June 14, 2005 and saw a picture you had on there with a little blue teddy bear in it. I have a friend who has a bear almost identical to that one that she's had since childhood and it's been this big mystery as to where it came from/what company makes it, etc. because the tag wore away. I know this is a huge long shot, but do you have any idea what company made the bear or where it came from?

I'm so sorry this is such a weird comment! But I just think it would be so funny if I could find one on eBay or somewhere and give it to her sometime.

Any info you have would be great. Thanks!


Unfortunately, I am unable to help. Maybe someone else can.

Image

Image

Image

Image


Addendum: They look different.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Person 1: i luv ur "tribute" to nyps,and yes, i still go there.thank kami im leavin thi yr.anyway this yr,they make us go up,up,up to class(5th floor),put bag in class,then down,down,down to courtyard (2nd floor)
Btw,they have holiday supplementary from 7 to 12 and if you wear PE uniform,you have to run 3 rounds round the track unless you have a valid excuse.
Yea,and did you know that now they have a lightning alarm.When there is lightning this lame alarm will sound&whoever is still outdoors,(field/courtyard)will get a pink slip.

Person 2: omg! i cant believe nyps is still the SAME after all these years...it was pure tortue to be in nyps. everyone seemed to want to get it but we were all fighting to get out...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

After a presentation on 'A Continuous-Time version of the Principal-Agent Problem' for the 'Multiperson Decision Theory' class, I feel like gouging my eyeballs out.

***

To Leon, who keeps emailing me:

If you don't leave a return address I can never contact you back, especially since the URL to your blog you gave me leads to an empty blog belonging to some Spanish guy who has been on Blogger since August 2001.
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