Floccinaucinihilipilification

eke ---> to squeeze out. Man trials 1 are finally over. And I tell you I've got MAJOR problems and things to do. Let's see... Trials are over(for the moment) oh yes I just got back from Actor's Studio in Bangsar, watched a drama called Odd Couple(female's version)... Damn funny, I would recommend it to everyone... Trials 2 are coming up next month, and I have to get my driver's license too. Apparently a few of my friends' fbirthdays have reminded me that mine is near too and I would be elligible to take my Bengkel(September 12!!) Anywayz I've got a big performance tomorrow night, which I am playing piano for the PTA dinner... Lots and lots of preparation to be done, not forgetting that I haven't passed my Undang-undang =P and I've to STUDY FOR BIO AND CHEM AND HISTORY ahhhh.....

I thihnk I'll start with the PTA dinner. First of all, I think this whole thing was DAMN last minute and IS damn disorganised. The date's clashed with the SPM Trials 1, and they ask me to perform JUST before trials start!!!! But I thought it would be nice to perform anyway(since I'm performing again at the end of the month) so I'll get the hang of it. I think this is the first time in a LONG time since I went upstage to perform anything at all... The last time I even went near the stage was the few times in my old school where I did the Rukun Negara haha... Anyway, the practices were quite messy too. But I am grateful that the teacher in charge was so nice to take the trouble and come all the way to my house early to fetch me to school... (Coz my mom fetches the neighbours' kids as carpool) And I had to stay back after school to practice too... Poor me. Not that I'm complaining or anything, just that I'm just wondering why I joined in the first place... I guess that I just love playing piano, and I don't mind playing for an audience. Of course my mom grumbled about it too... You know at first I would be playing a grand piano, then the PTA decided to reduce cost(WTH?!?) and so 2 pianists are sharing one Clavinova haha... And to think that my mom let me join the performance was because she heard about the grand piano. Of course those early and late practices just reminded me how commited I have to be if I decide to perform in something, so I guess I have learned something from all this... I had to sacrifice my studying time too because I had to use up some time to make the notes for me and my other pianists. Goodness. Hope that all that are reading this and watching the performance tomorrow won't grumble that much haha.

However, as playing and performing in front of a HUGE audience for the first time, I didn't really expect to prepare much... Until I heard about the clothes that's everyone's wearing. For all those who have not performed before as I am about to tomorrow and those who have no clue on what to prepare, brace yourselves. There was a big rush on the clothes, guess I wasn't prepared for that... My partner's wearing a tux and I'm like, wearing a coat with a bowtie haha... Quite lame la, maybe I'll wear a flower tie. And can you believe that the performers will get CHAIRS only during the performance while we have our dinner?? We'll be sitting at the back of the ballroom too. Hope that works out.

Another thing I wanna talk about this time is on responsibility and independence issues. I think one of the flaws I have is that I am DAMN irresponsible and I tend to be quite ignorate on what is needed to be done. I'm still learning I guess, and I'm quite sure that number of you are too... I sorta lost my jacket last week and I'm still on the lookout for it, coz trials kept me occupied, so i paid the price and I froze at some of the tests... But the most frusrating thing is that I haven't been able to take care of stuff that's NOT mine.. Sometimes I think other people's stuff are VERY VERY important, even it's a small amount of money. The fact that they lend it to you or let you use something of theirs for a while shows that they trust you and you are responsible of what happens to that book... So last week, to study for my Physics test, my mom borrowed a Physics reference book from the TTDI library... So I was studying it until Tuesday I think, where I studied for my Chem and I lost track of the book... Of anyone's seen it PLSPLSPLS return it or tell me ASAP... It's a 1999 version of FOKUS Physics... So I felt damn bad about it, and this got me wondering" How would I change my self and rid of this habit? "I think that this is a symptom that I won't be able to really survive in another country or something like that... I suppose the fact is that one of the main reasons people "rebel" against their parents so much is because that they have their own freedom and know what to do... They have learnt enough that they are able to survive on their own, even if it means sacrificing their wealth and stuff. I suppose it's because of my parents la. When I moved to Tropicana, I was still in Standard 6, so when I reached Form 1, my mom and dad REALLY restricted me from cycling anywhere outside Tropicana... Coz they were scared I'd get kidnapped and stuff. Of course there were a few occasions where I followed my friends everywhere between school hours and co-curriculum hours, but that was all... Most of my old school friends cycle to school because they are... less luckier than me I guess. But they know more and are able to do things on their own. Does that mean that being rich mean being un-street-smart? My dad came from a poor family too, so he had to depend on his instincts to live when moved from Terengganu to KL... I guess it's time to think that life's not a fairytale anymore, and that when you walk out from Secondary school, the world suddenly becomes messier and darker and a lot more uncomfortable... Even things that are happening in front of me aren't what they used to be anymore. Nothing goes as I think it would be, and few would be there to listen ot hear me out... Guess that's why I have this blog...

Guess it's getting kinda late, gotta sleep so that I'll be ready for tomorrow's big day. Ciaoz, nite