A little light humor

I apologize for not knowing the original source. I'll give credit when I find it.

“B” is for Big Fat Liar

** update 12:30hrs ** she's a confirmed liar. But she's also mentally ill so I'm taking her name out of the story.

McCain Supporter Robbed With Knife At Bloomfield ATM

PITTSBURGH -- Pittsburgh police are still questioning a 20-year-old woman who said she was robbed and assaulted at an ATM in Bloomfield because of her political views.

(name redacted) , of College Station, Texas, said she was using an ATM at Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street just before 9 p.m. Wednesday when a man approached her and put a knife to her throat.

Police spokeswoman Diane Richard said the robber took $60 from (name redacted) , then became angry when he saw a McCain bumper sticker on the victim's car. The attacker then punched and kicked the victim, before using a dull knife to scratch the letter "B" into her face, Richard said.

"She further stated that the male actor approached her from the back again and hit her in the back of her head with an object, she doesn't know what the object was, causing her to fall to the ground where he continued to punch her and kick her and threaten to 'teach her a lesson' for being a McCain supporter," Richard said.

Richard said the woman refused medical treatment after the assault, which happened outside the view of the bank's surveillance cameras. More Here

For those playing the home game, here are some clues:

1) she’s robbed at knife point at an ATM then the guy noticed the bumper sticker on her car and got medieval on her face. Hmmm, why would someone risk a successful armed robbery to go back for seconds?

2) the “B” scratch is superficial. The sort of superficial that would leave a mark but no permanent scar or damage.

3) the “B” is backwards as if done in a mirror

It would be more disturbing if I was wrong but I’m betting my bottom dollar that this woman made up the story.

Reeks of a finger found in Wendi’s chili.

Outrageous (and not in a good way)

I’m not even talking about the 700+ Billion Dollar bailout of very private enterprises with very public monies. Although that’s so outrageous I can’t even blog about it right now.

I’m talking about the political rhetoric these days. For instance:

1) Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings on Wednesday warned two minority groups to beware of Sarah Palin because “anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks.” (FoxNews)

What? Firstly, moose is kosher (albeit not without the proper slaughtering techniques and supervision). I’m not Jewish but I’m pretty sure the Jews and the moose have a reasonably decent relationship. I can’t find any evidence of blacks having moose difficulties either.

Leave the moose out of it Representative Hastings. Dumbass. *

2) During Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sara “Skinny G” Palin’s interview with Charlie Gibson “Gibson alluded to McCain's recent statement that Alaska's proximity to Russia lent Palin some expertise on that nation, asking Palin to explain.

’They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska -- from an island in Alaska,’” (LA Times)

Stop it. Here’s a map.

Here’s the Wikipedia entry. Nothing of significance is on either Little Diomede (USA, population 144) or Big Diomede (Russia, population ZERO). The only time Russian forces will storm across the Bering Strait from Kamchatka to Alaska is when you play RISK.

The distance between Magadan, Russia (the most significant city in Siberia and Anchorage’s Sister City) and Anchorage, Alaska is 1,958 miles (roughly calculated with Google Earth). Moscow to Juneau is 4,533 miles.

We are close to Russia like we are close to Japan, Korea, China, etc. In fact Wasilla, Alaska, to Singapore, China, is 4311 miles.

So except for wanting our natural gas pipeline to go through Canada, she has no experience with any foreign relations. To imply otherwise is disingenuous at best.

3) The Obama campaign ran an ad saying McCain is so out of touch technologically that he doesn’t even use the internet or send email.

Who the falafel cares?

Apparently, due to his POW related injuries, he gets shoulder aches when he uses a keyboard or does other repetitive tasks so he relies on his wife or his staff to do these things.

What President is sending his own emails anyway? Do you think George Bush types “OMG we need 700 Brazillian dollars? What’s the exchange rate anyway on those – LOL !”

Your staff does that sort of thing, that’s why you have them.

4) I want to give Skinny G’s folks the benefit of the doubt but they come off as aloof and inept. She won’t answer questions including whether she supports Don Young or Ted Stevens. (Politico)

From this Alaskan’s point of view she should have a public opinion on that. Either she’s a loyal Republican supporting two senior statesmen despite current controversy or she’s a maverick standing against her party for the good of Alaska. She has to pick a side on this.

She also won’t let her staff or her husband comply with subpoenas or aid the investigation surrounding a simple personnel issue. This begs the question why won’t she just say, look, here’s the deal” and get it over with.

~~

It’s clear we have a lot at stake with this election. So let’s cut the crap and make the candidates talk about real issues in a clear and calm way.

Is that too much to ask?

* This reminds me of Blood On The Snow, a true moose story. I crack myself up.

Photos:
Russia Alaska Map
Risk