Ambidextrous Archie!!

Archie has serious game:

Fact: Betty's bikini straps being off her shoulders in probably the most risque thing to ever appear on an Archie cover...

From Everything's Archie #69 (1978)

A Matter Of Perspective

What it feels like driving around on a day off...

What it feels like when I have to go to work...

Still, if I could trick out my car like this, it would be fine...

From New World #2 (2018), Archie #295 (1980) and Archie #135 (1963)

Manic Jughead Monday--The Gullible Electorate Of Riverdale High!!

Archie is running for class president--and Jughead is his campaign manager!!

And apparently. Jughead has quite a way with a slogan:

Because so many 1970s students said, "By Cracky!"

I mean, they're fine signs and all...but apparently, they're much more effective than you'd think amongst Riverdale students!

Really? Because of one negative campaign poster?

So, you really believe that you should vote for Archie because his name starts with an A?!?!

Let me tell you--these signs are so effective...

...that they convinced Reggie's own campaign manager to vote against him!!

I this explains why the country is in so much trouble these days...

From Jughead #256 (1976)

Chivalry Is Dead!!

It never pays to be a gentleman...at least not in Riverdale!

Sulpher and molasses?!?

And the whole thing could have been avoided if Riverdale just had functional storm drains...

From Archie Annual #26 (1974)

Archie's Tunnel Of Horrors!!

Archie has to pay a $10 traffic ticket. So he's trying to get a job...at the carnival!!

Reggie is taking advantage of Archie's absence by making time with Veronica...at the carnival!

Archie doesn't want Veronica to see him struggling to make money, so...

Now that's one great ride!!

From Pep Comics #52 (1945)

Bold Fashion Choices--The Ties That Bind!

A rite of passage between son and father:

 It was the 70s, man.

And you know it was the 70s, because if these ties are what Mr. Andrews considers "conservative..."

...then Riverdale was swinging pretty damn hard in  1970!!

Hey, is one of those ties really Plastic Man?!?!

From Archie #197 (1970)

Manic Labor Triple Day Overtime--White Slavery In Riverdale?!?

OK, this can't actually be legal, or enforceable, or even advisable, can it?

But, no, it's an official Riverdale High event.

And the high school gym teacher/coach is even officiating.

So, yeah, kind of problematic.

For those who care:

Betty steps in on Veronica & Archie's planned rendezvous, so she can have Archie all to herself for a week...

...Veronica thinks she found Archie, but it's really Jughead. But young Jones is fine with it, because now he can avoid Big Ethel...

...and amazingly, no one files a lawsuit against the school's forced dating scheme!!

From Betty And Veronica #238 (1975)

Manic Monday Bonus--Liereally, There's No0 Bonus Here!

Sheesh, I sure am milking this!

Seriously, I am feeling somewhat better, but it's going to take me a few days to get my strength back up to the high quality standard you've come to expect around here. So we'll be on lighter posting mode.

Everyone be safe, don't catch what I've got, and for heaven's sake, don't catch what Jughead has!

Life With Archie #17 (1962)

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Hey, Archie, Revive This!!

As Archie Comics struggles (again) to find any success with the Red Circle (a.k.a. Black Circle) super-hero comics, it's probably a good time to recall that they have this guy is their stable:

Super Duck started as one of those not-uncommon funny animals parodies of Superman et. al. Just an anthropomorphic fowl who took some special vitamins and became super. Familiar, huh?

However, whether it was the end of the war, or fear of lawsuits, Super Duck quickly became just another funny animal book, the super powers and/or parody all but forgotten:

He was still named Super Duck--I don't think he ever got another name besides "Supe"--but he wasn't any kind of hero anymore. He wore lederhosen and hard Donald-like stories.

When I say Donald-like, it's a case of one of the sincerest forms of flattery available. Supe got a nephew who lived with him (Fauntleroy), a never-happy girlfriend (Uwanna--yes, that was her name!!), and a world seemingly designed to abuse him whenever possible.

Here's a typical story from Super Duck #20 (1948):

Yes, Uwanna is very disturbing, both in design and in character.

Anyway, the non-super adventures of Super Duck lasted for 17 years, until late 1960. His stories were fairly regularly reprinted in various Archie publications for years, and he's actually appeared as a fictional comic character within some Archie stories, as well as occasionally actually interacting with the Riverdale gang via magic.

Well, as Archie continues to fail to find any kind of traction with their repeated attempts to restore their super-hero line, well, they could do worse than give new life...to Super Duck!!

Maybe Mark Waid is interested...