I went back up to Denver a few days later because in the rush of assembling my visual aid (☺ ) and getting the kids and us out the door to the baptism, I had totally forgotten everything I had promised my sister I would bring. She didn’t really care about getting the stuff immediately, but I was happy to have the excuse to go up and hang out with her for a few hours. And Elizabeth and Cate were my willing passengers.
On December 8, everything changed. It started out as a really good Saturday. We got all the chores done in the first part of the day, and so around 3 or 3:30 Patrick told the 3 older kids he would take them to ride bikes in the church parking lot. I stayed home with Elizabeth and Cate as they finished their naps. I got a call from Patrick just after 4 p.m. He said that Sander had fallen off his bike and hurt himself. He wasn’t sure how badly Sander was hurt, but he wanted to take him to urgent care so he was going to come and drop Brennan and Abby off at home. They were already on their way when he called, so it was just a few minutes until I heard the garage door go up and I went out to meet the kids. Sander was sitting in the front passenger seat of the van, helmet still on, in tears. He couldn’t bend his leg, and so that was the only place Patrick was able to put him. This kid has an incredibly high threshold of pain (came home from school with skinned knees on both the Thursday and Friday before, and didn’t tell anyone at school about it), so we knew something was up. I ushered the other kids into the house and sent my prayers with Patrick. I thought optimistic thoughts—he fell off his bike, so how bad could this be? He’s fallen off his bike lots of times. But it was so hard to organize my thoughts and be productive and even just get dinner ready.
They were admitted at 4:26 p.m. and the x-ray was shortly thereafter at 4:57. Patrick called me just after 5 to say that there was a definite fracture in Sander’s right femur. The radiologist wasn’t allowed to tell him anything, but he Patrick got a look at the x-ray and it was pretty apparent.
Sander wanted me in the ambulance with him, and so Patrick followed behind in the Accord. (Our lovely ward family took care of getting us back our van later that night.) They had given Sander some pain meds—I think just hydrocodone at this point. He was very sensitive to bumps and movement of just about any kind, and the involuntary muscle spasms had already started at this point. So he was pretty quiet most of the time (still in shock, I’m sure… I learned later he was pretty upset about having his pants cut off) but would cry out in pain if we hit a bump or he had a muscle spasm. It was a very somber trip down to Children's Hospital at Memorial. I was seated behind Sander’s head, so all I could do was rub his head and tell him he was doing a great job. It is so hard to be a mom sometimes.
We finally got to the hospital and were put in a care unit in the ER while they assessed his injury, gave him an IV, and put him in traction. They also gave him some morphine. This all took place between 7 and 9 p.m. I think the traction was the hardest part. They had to put his right calf into this huge boot thing that had a thick string coming out of the bottom. I can’t imagine the pain he was in as they put that thing on him. There was a bar they attached to the foot of the bed with a pulley, and they threaded the string through it and attached some weights to the other end—four pounds was what it took. The nurses said it should help Sander with the spasms by restoring some of the tension to his thigh muscles. But he was still encountering them like clockwork, every 10-15 minutes, and sometimes more frequently. Dave and Jenny Carr came to see us there, and Dave assisted Patrick in giving Sander a blessing. Again, all I could do was rub his sweet little head, encourage him, and remind him to breathe through the pain. He was such a good kid, and did an amazing job of getting through everything. It was not pleasant. The ER doctor told us that Sander would be going into surgery the next day, hopefully first thing in the morning. And then finally, around 10 p.m. or so, he was taken upstairs to his room in Pediatrics. It took longer than expected because there was only one ER nurse who knew how to do the traction Sander needed (which had to be redone on the Peds bed), and he ended up being called in on an emergency right when we were planning on going up. So we waited, and tried to be grateful we were not THAT emergency.
Once Sander was settled (as he could be, anyway) in his room and was given some valium in addition to the morphine, I headed home. His nurse had spoken with Dr. Shaw, the orthopedic surgeon, and learned that surgery would be at 8 a.m. Sunday (December 9). We decided it would be better for me to be home and take care of Cate (who is still nursing and stubbornly refusing to sleep through the night), and Patrick braved the hospital with Sander.
To say theirs was not a restful night would be an understatement. Patrick said at some points during the night, Sander’s muscle spasms were only 3 minutes apart. There was one blessed hour when Sander was able to sleep, but Patrick (and the nurse) couldn’t get the chair to fold flat into a bed like it was supposed to, so I don’t think he slept at all.
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| Sander's first night in the hospital |
Sander was wheeled down to surgery around 7:15, and we met Dr. Shaw and the anesthesiologist there. Because we were so concerned about Sander’s pain levels, the anesthesiologist explained that he would put in a femoral block on Sander after the surgery that would basically numb his leg and take up to 48 hours to wear off. He said there would be a little of that “pins and needles” feeling, but we figured anything would be better than those atrocious muscle spasms. Everyone was so kind and helpful.
Sander was wheeled back to the OR right about at 8 a.m. and we were told the surgery could take up to 2 hours from start to finish. So Patrick and I headed down to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast and then came back to the surgery waiting area.
Shortly before 10, a nurse came in to grab us and take us to Sander in recovery. It was so nice to see him resting peacefully after all the pain he had been in. But after 10-15 minutes of his resting peacefully, they really needed him to wake up. And so out came the cold washcloth. He opened his eyes for a second. The nurse asked him some questions and he responded without opening his eyes—by nodding and then wiggling his toes. Funny kid. It was enough to pass the test, though.
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| Sander resting in the recovery area, before going back up |
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| X-ray post-op. Yyou can see the plate and five of the screws (there is one more hiding on the bottom) |
Sander and Patrick spent most of the rest of Sunday dozing (someone was able to figure out how to fix the chair so it did fold flat). Patrick went home to shower and get the kids around 3 or 4 o’clock and brought them back around 5. Sander had been asking for them—he really missed his siblings. He was so mad that he had to keep spending the night in the hospital, especially that first night. Even though he was in so much pain. I left with the kids around 6 and we came home for a quick dinner and bed. I think it was a much more restful night all around. The next morning was “normal” in that we did our regular routine and I took Brennan and Abby to school. I had set up childcare for Elizabeth and Cate the night before, and so they were set for the day. Thankfully, I didn’t end up needing them to be watched all day. I got to the hospital at about 9:30 a.m. to find Sander maneuvering the hallways in a wheelchair. The physical therapist was there with lots of answers to all our questions. She didn’t see any need for him to stay at the hospital any longer than necessary, and he had already gotten a pass from the surgeon earlier in the morning. So by 11 a.m. we were out the door. We had a little bit of a struggle getting Sander’s prescription filled at the Walgreens down the street (some confusion about the dosing), but an hour later it was filled and we were on our way home.
We were worried about a lot of things, since Sander’s leg was still really sensitive to movement and touch. And he had to be carried everywhere (his wheelchair arrived late that night). He had two 3-inch incisions: one at the top of his thigh, just below his pelvis, and the other just above his knee. They were covered in bandages with industrial-strength tape. His whole leg was wrapped in gauze and then wrapped in two Ace bandages. Who knew that taking a 5-yr old to the bathroom could be such a challenge?
But every day got better as he began to heal. And Sander is just an amazing kid to begin with (and yes, I am biased). He took everything so well. As long as he could get in his 6-8 hours of Scooby Doo a day, he was set. I was both grateful and slightly annoyed that I had just purchased a 2-DVD set from Target for $4 at their Black Friday sale, with 26 total episodes that he had never seen before. It was a lot of Scooby Doo, as I now know.
Sander was excited, flattered, and maybe a little embarrassed by all the attention he got. His entire Primary class made him get-well cards and his teachers brought him a huge bag of candy (as in the 150-piece Costco bag of assorted Hershey’s, Mars, and Nestle fun-size bars). His kindergarten class all signed a huge card for him. Our home teachers brought him cupcakes and a card. He even got well wishes in the mail. The other kids got a little jealous, but were relieved when Sander shared his spoils with them (very graciously, I might add). He’s had friends come over and play board games with him. He really missed hanging out with friends.
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| Showing off his toys from the hospital |
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| Playing Sorry with his friend Tanner |
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| Singing with the Primary kids |
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| Saying hi to Santa |
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| Brennan saying hi to Santa with Brennan's friend Harrison |
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| This picture reminds me a lot of another one with Brennan. |
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| Brennan with Santa - December 2004 |
By two weeks post-op, he was crawling all over the house, including up and down the stairs. While it’s nice not to have to carry him as much, we were a little worried. The surgeon and physical therapist said that Sander can do as much physical activity as he feels up to doing, so we are supporting as much as we can. And he just keeps going from there. Today he was climbing up on the counters and walking around holding on to banisters or walls or whatever is handy. The physical therapist was right in predicting that Sander would likely not need a walker or any formal gait training. The walker was for 4 weeks post-op (which would be January 6), and I imagine at this rate he may be walking by himself by then. Update--as of today, he is WALKING around the house. Well, limping. But not needing to hold onto things to get around.
So yes—Sander’s leg has pretty much been the story of our family this month. We did have a great Christmas, though. We made lots of treats for friends and family, and spent Christmas Eve making cookies for Santa.
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| Elizabeth enjoying homemade marshmallow |
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| Cutting out Christmas cookies |
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| Decorating Christmas cookies |
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| Last picture before bed |
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| Letters from Abby and Sander to Santa. If you look close, you can see that Abby wants a puppy and an iPhone. Sander is just saying thanks for the presents and we made you cookies. |
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| Elizabeth's new bike. And her new Belle dress-up dress. |
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| Cate's talking vanity. Yay for mirrors! |
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| Sander enjoying his chocolates-making set |
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| Why I can never take my eye off this girl... who is giving her dolly a bath in the sink. At least Elizabeth is wearing a helmet. |
And here it is now, December 31st, and I can hardly believe another year has come and gone. What will 2013 hold? Besides another surgery for Sander to take out the hardware… (Dr. Shaw said it would be in the next 6-18 months, so we will see.)
Through all the chaos and excitement and stress and joy of the year, I am just so grateful for my family: for my immediate and extended family, but also for my ward and my friends here who act like my family. We feel so blessed to be so loved. Thanks, everyone.
