Core Charge Cards

Last week I was running late for work.  I got up late and loafed about at a sloth's pace - it was just one of those mornings.  To compact matters, as I flew through the front door, trying to make up for lost time, I was met with a sneaky sheet of black ice and almost went down for the count.  Steadying myself, I realized that my face was already stinging from the chilly breeze in the air, as it was being pelted by snowflakes billowing down from a gray sky.  Needless to say, the weather matched my dreary mood.  All was not lost though - if I left then, I could make it to work on time...or at least close enough that no one could call me on it.

With that in mind, I shuffled through the parking lot and hopped in my car.  I gave the engine a crank and.... uh oh... nothing happened.  That's when I found out my battery was dead... and that I could craft a sentence of cuss words long and strong enough to make a pirate blush.

Long story short, the battery was so shot that I couldn't even jump the damn thing; so, after half an hour of fiddling with the portable jumper, I ended up having to burn some of my sick time which I had so stingily hoarded.  Needless to say, it was not the greatest of mornings for this blogger.

However, after securing a new battery for my ride, I was elated to find out that the receipt for the expired one had not yet been disposed of.  You know what that means -  I had thirteen bucks waiting for me at the local Walmart!  Sure, it's a pittance; but, after waiting in line at customer service for half an hour, I felt like a kid at Christmas time with that "free" money burning a hole in my pocket.

So, let's see if you can figure out what I did next - solve this equation:  Unsupervised card collector + holiday season + Walmart =

You shouldn't have to flip to the back of your text book for this answer.

When I saw that there were still a few of these bad boys sitting on the barren shelves of the recently pillaged card aisle, I could not fight the temptation.  Normally, this cheapskate would have a hard time plopping down a twenty dollar bill for a such a novelty, on the off chance that I might land a card or two that truly appeals to my collecting interests.  That said, with thirteen bucks worth of "house money," suddenly this becomes cheaper than a blaster of Opening Day with a guaranteed hit.

Thanks lousy car battery!

Sure, we can debate for hours whether or not a product as gimmicky as this parallel set is needed with the deluge of cash grab products Topps has flooded the market with lately; but, this is the third year that this blizzard has hit the card collecting community, so why bother?  I must admit, I much prefer my snow on cardboard than I do on the ground and these cards do put me in the holiday spirit.  Plus, I need a couple of cards from this flakey set - which shows what cards from S1, S2, and Update would look like in a snowstorm - for my Cubs All-Time Roster Collection and I haven't ripped any new product in a long time, thanks to my recent hiatus.

As you can see, something good came out of my terrible, no good, very bad morning.  Or did it?  Let's see how I did with my "half price" holiday box, shall we?

The battery box flew right out of the gate with this Yu Darvish parallel falling out of the very first pack I opened.  You'll have to take my word that it's a parallel though, as the glitter effect (which really comes off looking and feeling like a third grade art project) found on the Metallic Snowflake Parallels doesn't show up too well on camera.  These special cards fall one in every two packs, so they aren't exactly rare - however, it's hard not to smile when you actually pull a parallel of a team you collect!

Yu was the only Cubs parallel that I ended up with, though I did uncover a healthy portion of the team's base checklist:

Three big pieces of the Cubs core were found in my "core charge" card purchase, as well as one now former North Sider.  This winter wonderland themed single represents Daniel Murphy's first pack-issued Cubs card, as the late-season acquisition was brought in by the Cubs too late to sneak into the Update checklist.  Of course, that means that this was a needed "Cubgrade" for my CATRC.  On the other hand, I've definitely not been secretive about my distaste for the second baseman, as detailed in the post I drafted about his initial arrival.  The Westboro-approved ballplayer is not one that I want representing my favorite team and I'm glad that he officially became a free agent after the World Series.

Simply put, my emotions about this pull are mixed - let's just say that I hope it's Daniel's ONLY pack-issued card as a Cubs player.

When it comes to the Cubs content, I ended up with one parallel, just under half of the team set, and one of the two cards I needed for my CATRC.  All told, that's not too bad for blaster box, I suppose.  It would have been a smashing success, in my eye, had I also come away with Cole Hamels' snowblind single (only his second pack-issued Chicago card)... but, I can't complain too much about this haul.  As for the rest of the box:

Here we have a couple of familiar faces in unfamiliar uniforms.  He's been gone for a few years now; however, I do believe that this is my first card of Starlin in any colors other than Cubbie Blue.  Additionally, "Jake the Snake" just looks wrong in a Phillies jersey - the dichotomy simply does not compute!

Even still, both of these previous Wrigley residents will fit nicely in my Cubs of Different Color Collection - a binder made up entirely of former/future Cubs featured in non-blue laundry.

With ten total packs included within the Holiday Box, I ended up with the appropriate number of metallic parallels.  Unfortunately, unlike the previously showcased Darvish, none of the other four really move the needle for me... much like the dead battery which funded their purchase.  Although, finding the AL Cy Young winner among the shimmery stack was kind of cool, even if I'll never be able to trade a Rays card.  And speaking of trades, the recently swapped out to Seattle, J.P. Crawford, gets to show of his slick glove in Phillies duds in one last set.  That's not a bad looking card to go out on.

Crawford wasn't the only player traded this winter to show up in the box either.  On that note, it's time to reveal what "one relic, autograph, or autographed relic card" I dug up out of this particular snow drift:

Ah, look, it's fate getting one last cheap shot in on me.  Not only does Paul Goldschmidt not fit into any of my collections, he happens to be a storied Cubs-killer who, just last night, was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals.  The Cards lineup just got a helluva lot scarier with "Goldy" in the middle of it.  Ugh.  Why'd it have to be the Red Birds?

The race for the 2018 National League Central crown is going to be a heated one.

Anyway, let's close out this box review with the best of the rest - a pair of cards that just make me smile:

Starling is looking sterling with that sweet, 80's Pirates uniform kit; who doesn't love a good throwback shot?  And check out those flowing locks coming from under Jon Gray's cap - he must use conditioner!

While I probably still didn't get my true money's worth on this purchase, even after the core charge discount, it sure was fun to rip through and I did end up with some nice additions to my Cubs collections.  After that stupid morning, it was just the medicine I needed to fix my mood - well, that and getting a working battery for my automobile.

Before I got, I do have to ask, what are your thoughts about the 2018 Topps Holiday boxes?  Is this set just another disposable, gimmicky, carbon copy parallel set that serves no purpose.  Or, does it inject a little bit of fun and holiday spirit into this hobby that is often taken far too seriously?  I straddle that line, but definitely lean a little more towards the latter.  Also, I never expected to be able to trade a car battery for baseball cards; but, essentially, that's what just happened.  With that in mind, what's the strangest thing you've ever traded for baseball cards?  Am I only the only one who has parlayed a care charge into a blaster box?  Please feel free to leave your thoughts and stories in the comment section below.

In the meantime, here's hoping that my new battery lives a long and healthy life!

The Spice of Life

 
It's fairly safe to assume that you've heard the old saying, "variety is the spice of life" before.  The ancient turn of phrase has been used to (correctly) point out that new and exciting experiences make life more interesting and actually worth living.  It's a proverb that I've oft-repeated and considered when making decisions on where to dine, what bands and music to listen to, what beer to try, what movies to see, etc.  After all, life just gets darn boring if you're going to same places, doing the same stuff, and listening to Stairway to Heaven on repeat.

You might say that, at this point, "variety is the spice of life" is my own particular... ummmm.... (sigh)





Although the main focus of my cardboard collection is my documentary Cubs All-Time Roster Collection - the goal of which is to obtain at least one card of every player to suit up in Cubbie Blue - trading cards would quickly get dull.  That's why I've also added roster collections for the Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks to occupy my time.  Not to mention, I have several other collecting offshoots, including minor league cards, miscellaneous oddballs, runners, and motorsports-related cardboard.  When I get bored with one binder, I can easily scoot over to another focus.

When it comes to applying this thought process, it appears as though I am not the only one in the card-blogging community.  Dime Box Nick recently dropped a surprise package into my mailbox and this brick of cardboard was as varied as a jar of potpourri:

Nick is always good for a varied trade package and this one was certainly no exception.  The man is always coming across interesting and different oddities as part of his famous dime box digs - Nick is the king of Dimeboxdonia for good reason, after all.  Likely unearthed during one of these excavations was the Kellogg's 3D oddball of Cubs third baseman, Bill Madlock, which tops this post.  It's cracked and weathered surface may have seen better days, but you better believe that it nestles nicely into my oddball binder regardless. 

And there was plenty more where that came from!  Sorting through this exceptionally "spicy" selection of cardboard was the perfect way to unwind after a long day at the office.  Please allow me to further showcase just how much this generous offering lived up to Nick and I's shared idiom:

Keeping with the oddball theme was this assortment off-the-beaten-path pasteboard.  Short-termer, Benito Santiago, seemingly played for every team in baseball as his career wound down; however, his single year in Chicago wasn't met with a lot of cardboard documentation.  Luckily, MLB Showdown was on the ball!

Additionally, we have a triage of Cubs greats in Sammy Sosa, Ron Santo, and a beaming Ernie Banks, via UD Power Deck, a late-90's team issue set, and a glossy '85 Topps Home Run Kings single.  In regards to the Slammin' Sammy, is there anything more "different" than a mini-CD, "futuristic" baseball card?

Furthermore, Nick also included an assortment of minor league baseball cards, a cardboard genre that has held my fascination since I pulled a 1994 Action Packed Matt Franco single out of a repack as a little kid and was baffled by the IOWA Cubs team designation.

Sean Cheetham and Luis Flores never made the ultimate ascent to the Majors; however they will make it into my minor league Cubs collection.  Although, the latter is still active in 2018, plying his trade in the Mexican League; so, there is still a small chance Luis could make it to the show someday.

Changing gears once again - remember, this gift was all about variety - we have a fair selection of vintage cards to gaze upon.  How often do cards from the fifties and sixties end up in a surprise mailing like this?  And vintage O-Pee-Chee??  That Nick is one kind fellow!

Jumping forward a few decades, Nick tossed another curveball with a gathering of super shiny parallels, including what might be my very first "dufex" card in Jayson Peterson's '95 Pinnacle release.  My eyes are burning with pure delight!

Next up was a grouping of relatively recent products that remain nearly non-existent in my collection.  I try to rip at least one pack of every new product that hits store shelves; that said, last season's Allen & Ginter and Fire brands, as well as 2018 Donruss, have only rolled in via trade packages.

That doesn't mean I have anything against these products - I just never got around to sampling them.  Good thing I have Nick to keep me up to date.

Speaking of which, these are definitely the maiden 2018 Bowman Chrome singles to slip into Wrigley Roster Jenga headquarters, including my very first card of the Cubs highest draft pick in 2017, Thomas Hatch.  Now, should either of these men earn the call-ups they've both been inching towards, I'll be ready to throw them into my CATRC binder immediately afterwards.

WABAM!  Nick's next change of pace was a doosy - a pair of hits in the form of an Addison Russell A&G relic from last year and a 2015 Mark Prior  Topps Tek autograph.  Hot damn!

This marks the second Prior signature to enter into my collection and had you told me in 2003 that I'd have such a pair in the future, I'd assume that I was a wealthy man.  While he may have fizzled out, Mark was always a favorite of mine and I'll gladly scoop up all of the Prior ink that I can.  Meanwhile, the gray jersey swatch is easily my best Russell card and will promptly take his place in my CATRC tome.

In any other package, these two hits would easily have taken the cake as the best of the bunch.  However, a Nick mailer is never predictable.  This cardboard potpourri still had one more surprise hidden inside:

As an exclamation point on an already excellent and varied bubble mailer, Nick also included a partially completed set of a rarely-seen in the wild, team issued set.  This Fox Sports Net sponsored checklist was issued in 2000 and documented the roster of that year's club.  The 29-card set was given away at a certain home game... but, no one seems to remember which contest that was.  There's simply not a lot of information out there about these SGA's.

The dismal 2000 Cubs were built with aging veterans and obscure, cameo Cubs and this surprisingly robust set provides several cards of guys who are rarely associated with Cubbie Blue.  This fact had already put the FSN set on my collecting radar and I audibly gasped when I saw these in Nick's stack:

This pair of Jeff's were of particular interest to me.

The well-traveled Jeff Huson's Cubs career was limited to the 2000 season - those 70 games marked the finish line for his Big League career.  Thus, the SGA above is the only Cubs card to have been printed of the longtime MLB utilityman.  In addition, like Huson, Jeff Reed also completed his Big League tenure in the Windy City, serving as a backup backstop from 1999-00.  As far as I can tell, this SGA single and a game card in '00 MLB Showdown are the only cards that commemorate his final MLB stint. 

Both of these rarities were much-needed and long-targeted "Cubgrades" for my CATRC three-ring.

Finally, unlike mainstream releases, this stadium giveaway set made sure to cover not just the active players, but the coaching staff as well.  As a result, guys like batting coach, Jeff Pentland, and pitching coach, Oscar Acosta - neither of whom ever received much cardboard love - get their only known Cubs cards.  Hot diggity.

I make much more of a hubbub about the player section of my CATRC; however, I also have sections dedicated to managers and the coaching staff.  It's rare that I get to make additions to the "coach's corner," seeing as how rarely coaches appear on baseball cards these days.  Therefore, whenever I get a chance to do so, it's certainly an occasion worth celebrating.

With that, we've finally reached the end of Nick's extremely generous and diverse platter of cardboard.  To summarize, within that array, Nick managed to include a healthy mix of intriguing oddballs, minor league singles, beautiful vintage, shiny parallels, catch-up current products, eye-popping hits, and major additions to my Cubs All-Time Roster Collection.  To put it simply, the man is just a legendary trader! Thanks, Nick - I'll be sure to whip up a proper and varied trade package in return, as soon as I possibly can.


Collecting cards wouldn't be nearly as fun if there was only one way to do so, would it?  That's why this trade package is one of my favorites of 2018, so far - variety is the spice of life!

Housewarming Hits

Earlier this summer, June 19th to be specific, the wife and I moved to a new apartment located in Alsip, IL - a suburb on Chicago's south side.  It took us several friends, a handful of automobiles, a few beers, and hours upon hours of sorting, packing, un-packing, and bickering about what goes where, but we appear to have finally finished setting up our new abode.  This is our first official place together as a married couple and we couldn't possibly be more excited about what the future has in store for us.  Plus, I get an office/card room!

Almost immediately after I mentioned our location change on the blog, Kin Kinsley (I Feel Like a Collector Again and Bean's Ballcard Blog) reached out to me, requesting my new address.  You know what that means, Mr. Kinsley was looking to sign me up on all the spam mailings and chain letter lists that he could possibly find.  Well, in all actuality, while he might have done both of those things as well, he also sent me a little housewarming gift.  A little bit of new cardboard smell is perfect way to christen a new apartment, after all.

Boy, oh boy - did Kin ever go all out on this one:

As you can plainly see, our generous gifter lead off with quite the doozy - a 1953 black and white Bowman single, featuring "Handsom Ransom" Jackson.  I can count the amount of times that I've gotten a '53 Bowman through a trade on one hand... in fact, both times it was this very same card (sadly, I cannot recall who else was so kind).  I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining though, this is a wonderful card and I'm not going to complain about getting a 64 year old piece of cardboard from an iconic set as an unannounced gift.  I just find it funny that, both times, it just so happened to be this very same card.  Strange how the world works sometimes, isn't it?

Next up, we have another player from days long gone by in Ralph Kiner, better known for his time with the Pirates.  The six-time All-Star and Hall of Famer made most of his resume in a Pittsburgh uniform, but it's important to remember, at least to me, that he also spent two years of his storied career in Chicago (1953-54).  Apparently, it was also important to Renata Galasso to remember his time spent in the Windy City, as illustrated by the no-frills oddball set co-produced by her and TCMA, from 1977-84.

Personally, I think Cubbie blue suits Mr. Kiner, even if the photo is black and white.

The Cubs portion of Kin's bubble mailer closes out with a pair of more modern releases - Kris Bryant on a 2017 Topps Award Winners insert, which honors his winning the NL MVP award last season (a retail exclusive set) and "Mr. Cub" Ernie Banks via 2000 Upper Deck Legends.  These are a pair of awfully significant player in franchise history, both of which are new to my collection.

In regards to the latter card, this shiny beauty has a blurb on the bottom which reads, "one of the most-loved sports figures in Chicago history, "Mr. Cub" earned that honor with his demeanor and potent bat that accounted for over 500 homers."  First off, that write-up couldn't possibly more true.  Second of all, I love the picture that they chose, which shows off the road uniform (with the underline) in use throughout the 1950's.  Third, why is the legendary shortstop hoarding so many bats?!

Like I said, that did it for the Cubs portion of Kin's mailing; however, he was far from done:

Ooooooo - we're breaking out the big guns now.

Mr. Kinsley is on record as, how shall I say, strongly disliking the Cubs.  That said, some common ground that we have been able to bond over is the shine we've taken to the Chicago Blackhawks.  I'm assuming that this is a double for Kin, seeing as this /225, two-color jersey swatch of short-term Hawk Steve Sullivan is a dandy.  In fact, it's actually the very first hit to make it into my burgeoning Blackhawks All-Time Roster Collection.  If the mailer emptied here, I would have already considered it to be an overly generous housewarming gift; of course, Kin appears to have wanted my jaw to literally hit the ground.

If that was the case, then Kinsley certainly succeeded - here we have my first AND second certified autographs to be inserted into my BATRC.  Both of these bad boys hail from the 2001/2002 edition of the Be A Player Signature Series.  

Steve McCarthy clearly missed the point of the translucent white box at the bottom of the card, instead making use of pretty much the whole card to ink his John Hancock.  While Mr. McCarthy is not entirely new to my collection, this signed single easily boots his previous, plain entry into my Blackhawks binder.  On the other hand, Reto Van Arx was a name entirely new to said binder, making his inclusion a double-whammy of awesome, even if his entirely NHL career amounted to 19 games, with a +/- rating of -4 during the 2001-02 campaign.  With that in mind, let me just take a moment to give my appreciation to the current Blackhawks administration and the program that they've built.

Mr Kinsley positively kicked ass on this exceptionally generous gift, as he always does in our little exchanges - my apartment feels a little more welcoming already.  Kin, I'll make sure to put together an appropriate return package in the very near future.

I might have to move a few more times if this dude is always so doting with his housewarming gifts! 

Participation Trophies

A hot topic in the sports and parenting world for the past few years has been the participation trophy and how it is the cause of ruination for millennials (a favorite punching bag for all of America's problems) and the young, aspiring littler leaguers and flag-footballers of today.  When I was a young, gangly, wannabe athlete, who looked better doing cartwheels in the outfield than at the plate, I got participation trophies every year from my t-ball league and I proudly displayed them on my mantle.  When I was awkward elementary school kid, I got a participation ribbon every year for my science fair projects, that only proved that I enjoyed making a mess, and I proudly pinned them on my wall every time.  As an adult who finally found his niche in sporting world, I've competed in several road races which handed out medals to all participants and I've kept every single one in my memory box.  In short, I know a thing or two about participation "awards."

That's how I know that the package that I received from everyone's favorite Andrew McCutchen super-collector, Mr. Stryker (Collecting Cutch), was more than just a participation gift.  You see, a little while back, this Cutch-obsessed blogger issued a challenge to the blogosphere - for everyone to name their absolute favorite player and show off their favorite card of said athlete, as well.  I jumped at the chance, as I love blog "bat arounds" and challenges - their fantastic writing prompts!

As a child and Cubs fan of the 90's, Mark Grace holds a slight edge over Ryne Sandberg and Sammy Sosa in that department for me; so, I immediately whipped up a show-and-tell post all about my most treasured Gracies and threw my name into the contest hat.  Sadly, I did not win - however, Mr. Stryker was so appreciative of everyone taking their time to participate, that he crafted a package for all those involved.  What a generous fellow, right?

My participation award came in the mail yesterday and I quickly discovered that this was no mere placation - this bubble mailer was more than the cheesy trophies, flimsy ribbons, or "turn your chest green" medals that I usually associate with such awards.  Far... very far... like lightyears away from that.  See that wonderful, hearty Anthony Rizzo Jackie Robinson Day Commemorative Patch card (though it's really more like a coin), from this year's edition of Flagship, at the top of this post?  THAT wasn't even the best card in the package!

Crazy right?  But, I kid you not.  Allow me to show you the rest of the contents of this "participation" award:

First, we kick things off with, of course, an Andrew McCutchen card.  However, this isn't your ordinary, run-of-the-mill Cutch here - no way, this is some sort of oddball card put out by one or both of Pirates Charities and/or the Pittsburgh Police Department.  As you can see, both logos appear on this very white, "less is more" oddity.

"Think first - because for every choice, there is a consequence."  Seems like a slogan right out of the DARE playbook or some other after school program.  Mr. Stryker - is this a reboot of the beloved police cards, which were so ubiquitous in the 1980's?  I may not collect Pirates cards, but I love it!

Now into my collecting wheelhouse we go, again courtesy of Anthony Rizzo.  I don't purchase much in the way of Gypsy Queen; so, any time I get a single or two from those sets, I'm always quite contented.

Meanwhile, the insert on the right may be intended to spotlight special jerseys (in this case, Spring Training duds... where the home pinstripes are exactly the same...); that said, the first thing that I notice is Rizz's Justin Timberlake-esque ramen noodle hairstyle.  Anthony and I are about the same age and this was very much the style when we were in junior high; but, seeing those bleached blonde locks on a baseball card in fifteen years later seems out of place.

 Who wore it better?

See?  They're like twins - what a pair they would make.  JT is obviously a immensely accomplished singer and songwriter and Anthony Rizzo isn't so bad on the piano.... how about a ramen-flavored collaboration, guys?

Speaking of dynamic duos - The Bryzzo Souvenir Company!

The muscle of the Chicago Cubs lineup look great both at the plate and in brushstrokes, as evidenced by this pair of 2016 Diamond Kings symbols.  Also, it's a shame that Rizzo card didn't show up on my doorstep a few days earlier, as he is clearly sporting a Chicago Federals throwback jersey and would have worked perfectly for my post about the Windy City Federal League baseball club.

But, make no mistakes, I'm no less happy to see it now!

Next up, we have some more Gypsy Queen - this time, in the form of the coveted minis.  The penny sleeve which contained this tiny Geovany Soto card from the 2011 edition was clearly marked with black sharpie, "black."  Good thing Stryker took the time to make this little note, as overly anxious Tony Burbs was eagerly and quickly flipping through my new haul and would have missed this backside variation.  Sometimes, the small things can mean everything.

What you see above is a Red Back Gypsy Queen (so THAT's what she looks like!) Mini, which had an insertion ratio of 1:6 in both retail and hobby.  While they aren't uber rare, I'd never seen one before and it's always exciting to make a new discovery as part of a blogger mailing.

Everyone seems to love the First Pitch inserts that Topps started up as part of last season's Update release and I am no different.  Of course, the one that was included in this mailing has since taken on a somber tone, as Craig Sager, the famed sports reporter, recently and tragically succumbed to leukemia, after long and tough battle with the disease.  A little more than a year ago, the cubs honored the Northwestern alum and so I'll always have this insert to remember him by.

Meanwhile, "Sweet Swingin'" Billy Williams shows up too, courtesy of Panini's Cooperstown product (2012).  I think we can all agree that this line would be a welcome sight, should it ever return to store shelves.  Furthermore, Panini and their necessitated logo scrubbing look much better with retro-themed products with golden age players.

Okay - so, that was all pretty nice stuff, right?  Then, of course, there was the Anthony Rizzo commemorative patch card, which would have made the perfect mic drop on this bubble mailer.  However, Mr. Stryker was not content to just astound me with this participation award - he was going to knock me to ground and finish me, Mortal Kombat style:

via GIPHY

I'm pretty sure the wind was actually knocked out of me when I got a glimpse of this bad boy:

Ooooooooh doctor!  That right there is a beauty of an on-card autograph from the one and only Jason Heyward, numbered to /45, and from an uber high end product that I can say with certainty that I'll never, ever open myself.  This is a truly stunning development!

As a low end collector, autographs are few and far between in my collection and when they turn up, they're usually roster-filler, pseudo-star types.  Jason Heyward is certainly a notch or two above that status.  It might date from his time with the Bravos, but I absolutely adore this card and, as an added bonus, I'm drawn to the fact that the "Tribute" logo is done in a similar art style to the famed Wrigley marquee.  In short, everything about this hit is superb.

In fact, both the Rizz and the J-Hey Kid are too fantastic to keep hidden in a binder:

These are going to be the first cards displayed on my new workspace, which is a project still in development after my most recent move.  For now, they'll rest up against my lava lamp and pencil cup so that I can gaze at them whenever I please.

As you can see, this participation award was so amazing that I actually shudder to imagine what the winner of Stryker's contest went home with.  Perhaps said blogger had his actual favorite player mailed straight to him?  That's about the only way this package could be topped.  A million thanks go out to Mr. Stryker, both for holding this clever contest and for being so abundantly gracious to those who have participated.  This padded mailer was truly a joy to sort through and contained some of my favorite cards to ever come through the mail.

In summation, many people across America think that giving out participation awards screwed up millennials, like me, and is messing up the next generation of young kids.  At the same time, this participation award definitely screwed me up too; however, that's only because I wasn't expecting so much concentrated awesome in such a gifting.  I could barely handle it!

Now, about that avocado toast though...