Gratitude Recap or: The Human Heart: Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate
Sun 04 October 2026
Well, after writing about gratitude every day for a month, and writing over sixteen thousand words on the subject, you'd think I've become a very grateful person as a result.
Well...
I guess I can say that I'm still working on my narrative.
This morning, I was driving to church and playing music on shuffle from my personal collection. The song that came on before I got to my destination was from an album I bought fifteen years ago, from a small local band that only ever produced a single album. It was intense, passionate, fervent, and religiously themed.
It brought to mind that very strange time in my life where... I was desperately searching for something. It's hard to share exactly what I mean by that, and hard to relate to if you're not, well, basically me. Actually, I have a hard time relating to past-me at times. I don't exactly sit in the happy medium. Of anything. Queue that old Billy Joel song some time later.
So anyway, listening to that obscure song from 2011 made me think back to those times. All those crazy dreams I had when I was a bit younger. Times when the world, while still fairly mystifying, just made a lot more sense than today. At least to me.
And while listening to that song and pulling in to the church parking lot, my mind went down very familiar paths.
Feeling lost in time.
Feeling confused about the world around me.
Feeling somewhat abandoned and confused about my purpose in life.
I parked, went in, found my seat, and felt really bummed out about life. The cognitive dissonance of being a Christian in Dallas in 2026 didn't help, either. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to go to a church that's actually pretty decent and humane, but in terms of the situation in my city, state, and country at large, especially when it comes to matters of faith, MY GOD, WHAT A SHIT SHOW.
But something wonderful happened (as it often does) as I sat and joined the worship. I was reminded of the good things in my life. I forgot about the "depths" for a minute, and just concentrated on the heights:
Friendships formed and nurtured...
time spent with family...
my incredibly enjoyable and mind/heart-expanding time at university...
meeting and connecting with "random" people here and there...
random moments of reflection, insight, and sublimity...
And... yeah, some things in the world really, really suck right now. And there are plenty of things in my own life that never quite shook out the way I'd hoped. Not by a long shot.
But there are still so many things to be thankful for, and there are still so many positive works to accomplish in this crazy world.
And I guess that was the whole point of the exercise. :)
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