The Exploration of Various Interesting and Uninteresting Topics

I’m fascinated by the idea of leaving behind a legacy, or something to be remembered by. Social media and the internet has made it increasingly easy to have a large portion of your presence to be permanently etched into history. My Instagram for example, I’ve been posting on there consistently since like middle school. The entirety of my lineage will be able to look back onto my life. Of course, life could be wildly different in the future, humans merging with AI causing superintelligence, without a care in the world from who they descended from.

One place that history will be able to look back on is this blog. When I am long gone, this blog will remain. So I wanted to clear a few things up.

If and when I die, know that I have lived without regrets. I feel satiated with my quality of experiences. I have traveled the world, seen and experienced different cultures. Put myself through difficult physical challenges to push my body and mind. Made many friendships, some as short as a day or as long as I have been a child. Love has been abundant in my life, including my family, friends, and partners.

Everything here on out feels like “bonus time”. I am lucky and blessed to still be here.

Part of the reason I am writing this is because I figure how saddening it is for your loved ones to see you pass away. Especially if you are young. But I want my loved ones to know that I am at peace. Death does not bother me. Think of death as an end to the suffering that is being human.

As I am typing this, for some reason it feels as if this saying this aloud would affect when I would die. Like I am “jinxing” it. To be clear, I am not interested in dying. In the show I am watching right now, The Pitt, Dr Robbie goes on a motorcycle sabbatical and the head nurse Dana accuses him of trying too hard to get close to that line, to the point of being suicidal. She says that anyone she knows that flirts with death is in the ground. I enjoy risk, and I think that the closer you are to death means the more alive you feel. But I don’t want to die.

I want to live. But for those reading this, know that if the grim reaper calls for me, I am at peace.

Today I wanted to explore the topics of relationships and loneliness. Throughout my life, dating back to high school, I almost always had a girlfriend. The idea of intimacy was and is still so exciting to me. Especially for the first time with someone. That moment or short period of time when you go from friends to something more. It’s like a switch flicks, and it’s hard to go back to seeing that person in the same light. A bond has been formed, whether the two people draw importance to this bond is up to them. I crave this bond and crave intimacy with others. I’m trying to understand why this is.

I think intimate moments are when I’m the most relaxed. I’m not just talking about sex. I mean anything involving physical contact or intimate conversations. When all of my focus is on my counterpart. When there is truly nothing going on in my head, perfectly content with where I am at. I’m not planning ahead or thinking about the future like I usually do.

Many of the people are weary of intimacy within their friend group or workplace. I haven’t strayed away from these areas. These are the people I am already close with. Intimacy makes the most sense with this group. Dating random people is less appealing to me. Although the modern world of dating apps makes this difficult to avoid. It is easiest to give love, attention, and affection to those closest to me. Those who, in my opinion, deserve it the most. The people who I understand their life, their struggles, and why they are the way they are. I want to be more than just their friend, I want to show them that they are loved.

Another item I wanted to touch on is the importance of communication in these types of relationships. Knowing what you want and letting the other person know of your intentions in the very beginning is so important. Otherwise, you’re going to hurt people and waste both of your time and energy.  In the past I had the mindset “if we don’t have a conversation about being exclusive then it’s okay”. But really, it’s not. I tend to be sweeter and flirtier in general, which will lead people to think I’m falling for them and want a relationship. So making assumptions is not enough; your intentions need to be crystal clear.

Lastly, I wanted to touch on loneliness. What is really hard for me to grasp is if I am pursuing intimacy constantly because I am trying to avoid being lonely, or if I just love intimacy. Like I want to be okay with being alone and find happiness that way. But also, life is just better with lots of people in it. A famous Harvard study concluded that having strong social connections is the #1 indicator of happiness in life. I guess then I would ask myself are there downsides to dating around a lot? For myself, as long as I’m being safe I don’t see many downsides. I just need to be straight up with the women I am talking to and ensure they know my intentions. So I think that dating is ultimately a healthy thing when done correctly. In a world that is becoming increasingly more isolated and online, maintaining those in-person interactions and meeting new people and gaining new perspectives is so important. It’s a great way to put positive energy and love into the world.

Depression is something that I’ve experienced since I was in early high school. It can range from being invisible to causing a debilitating sadness.

It is an inherent challenge in my life, although as I get older, I learn to recognize the good parts of it too. Ultimately, it forces me to live an extremely full life. My life was not made to sit still. I need something to look forward to. A trip, seeing old friends, anything to keep my mind occupied. Without these things, my life becomes dull. I get bored, restless even.

I hate being in that dark, sad place that is depression. I refuse to let it take hold of me. I live to not be sad. Life is too beautiful and exciting to be sad. I always become irritable when I am in this state. I want to be good to the people around me. I don’t want to be irate. My people deserve more.

What I experience most typically, is an overwhelming weight of responsibilities. I procrastinate near everything, and require planning my every day so that I can mentally prepare for my near future. Having an immediate sense of confidence or self assuredness is a weakness of mine. My immediate thought is, okay I am going to put this off until I have the strength to handle it later.

I think if I was able to cultivate that “I can do it” immediate mental response, it would help me greatly. I get stuck thinking about how hard one little thing is, and then throughout the day these negative responses build up and create this tainted vision of my life that is so difficult and sufferable.

The truth is, I’ve been doing it just fine for 27 years now. Life isn’t that hard. There are moments that are extremely difficult. But these moments pass. The typical day isn’t that hard. I am lucky enough to have a portion of my day to have dedicated to leisure. Hell, I take an hour out of the middle of my workday every day to read, walk, or nap. I can’t say many people have the same luxury (at least in America). I really love my job too. So what am I so up in arms about?

There is a limitless amount of reasons to be grateful. We are alive. And just being alive is enough.

I want to be better for myself and my people. I am going to continue to cultivate good habits that prevent depression. Skiing. Being in Nature. Climbing. Reading. Meditation. Getting enough sleep. Taking my supplements. Most importantly, after a thorough introspection, I am going to practice GRATITUDE.

Ads are the absolute bane of my existence. They serve as visual pollution. Billboards, flyers, cause clutter to an already imperfect world. I wish I could live in an ideal world that didn’t have ads. I never studied business so maybe I just don’t understand the importance ads are to businesses.

Ads might be the worst during sports games. NFL games last around 3 hr 15 min and only 15 min of that is the ball actually in-play. Are you kidding me? I feel bad for the suckers that watch the NFL all the time. They’re really just watching ads with the occasional touchdown. Soccer at least doesn’t have any commercial breaks. Commercial breaks are especially bad during movies. Movies are not meant to be broken up. Especially during the most crucial plot moment. Some streaming services in particular don’t understand how to run ads. They will have many short 30-second breaks during a movie. It would be much better implemented if it was 1 or 2 long commercial breaks. Although there’s probably research out that shows that people tune out the longer the commercial break is.

I find myself wanting to buy the ad-free version of streaming services now. I feel bad for people who can’t afford the luxury. Another type of media that is ridden with ads is mobile games. Sometimes a large company will own so many games that they begin to advertise their own games within games. They will have a “demo” type ad where you actually play a different game as part of the ad. It’s so disgusting how ingrained ads are to our society. I recently downloaded Golf Blitz, which I learned to be one of my favorite mobile games of all time. What amazed me about this game, is that it’s completely free and there are zero ads. How could that be? It’s because they use a very well implemented rewards and leveling up system similar to Fortnite. This brings in enough money to omit ads from their UI. I have admittedly spent money in the Golf Blitz store. I am not ashamed however, I think Golf Blitz is a near perfect game and the fact that they do not smother its consumers with ads is a wonderful and rare thing.

Allowing ads completely ruins the design of your product / building / etc. As someone who is very involved with design, I don’t understand how people allow ads into their design. It pollutes and disgraces the design intent. Take an iPhone for example. It is amazing that iPhone’s have not been tarnished with ads. Apple has been very particular about the UI design and it has paid off. Even our TV’s have ads. Regular TV’s are not even made anymore. I tried to run my TV without internet but it needs to be connected for UI updates. How does it make sense that ads are shoved down my throat with my TV even though I spent hundreds of dollars on it? TV’s haven’t seem to have gotten any cheaper, yet they are raking in even more money from their ad system. I’m sure their revenue from the TV itself is a drop in the bucket compared to their ad revenue they run on said TV.

Another reason that I despise ads is because nearly always they are trying to persuade you to buy a product. They exist to support commercialism. Sure, there are political ads sometimes. How often do you see ads to visit your nearby national park? Or an ad to promote healthy habits? Or a local ad promoting something free? Don’t get me wrong I am not against spending money. I spend as much as anybody else. I just hate that ads promote spending money. Just let me be. TV and Movies should be considered “art” and money grabbing ads are ruining the art.

The same goes for physical ads such as billboards. Highways and roads have got to be the least-pleasing thing to look at. It doesn’t help when roadways are cluttered with ads and signs. There’s a meme of the typical American town, full of overhead electrical conduit, fast food signs, and tons of billboards. It’s truly sad that this is what America has come to. We are causing the destruction of the natural beauty of our world and it is partly due to commercialism. Humans do a great job designing buildings and parks but it is unclear why the same care hasn’t been put into roads and infrastructure. Roads are what people see the most. I see the same stretch of highway every day. It’s awful that everyone stares at the same grey asphalt that roads and concrete barriers are made out of.

I get that roads need to be standard so it’s not like we can paint our roads to be looking like rainbow road in Mario Kart. But we can control the billboards and signs we put up everywhere. We can clean up the litter and trash off the highways. This is an aside, but another reason why trains are better than cars. We are looking inside the car or out the window if its an outdoor train. Rarely are you in a position to be looking forwards or backward at the tracks. Whereas when we are driving cars the one and only thing we are looking at is in front of us – the disgusting grey highway. I can’t wait to be out of Denver. I’d say that’s certainly the worst part about it. The car dependency is a real problem. I am lucky to live near a park where I can experience pedestrian-scaled beauty. Driving to work however, whether its on Park Ave, Colfax, or I-25, it is not pretty.

Green spaces delivery lasting mental health benefits according to studies online. The concrete jungle aspect of Denver is really killer. I think the sunlight is a major improvement over other cities but I wish it was more green. Rino specifically is an absolute wasteland. Sure, it was an industrial park but now its full of breweries and apartments. I hope that Denver prioritizes building a park in Rino soon. What really pisses me off is the massive Rockies parking lot that hugs the west side of Rino. I have not seen a worse use of space. Greed seriously has encompassed the minds of the city developers. I think that parking lots should be illegal in dense cities. Garages or bust. Tokyo has removed street parking entirely and I could not tell you how pleasant it was to walk around that city. Even with the chaos of the dense population, it was incredibly clean and pleasant to look at.

Back to my original point, I think both UI and city designers have lost their focus. The act of trying to make an app or city perfect is gone. Greed has gotten in the way entirely. What a shame.

A.I. and automation are a very exciting topics that I would love to touch on. Up-and-coming technology has always fascinated me.

We will lose the right to drive eventually. I would guess this would happen at the end of our lifetime, closer to 2100. People are too reckless to be trusted with a huge piece of metal that goes over 100 mph. Myself included. There is too much power in having a car in the same vicinity as pedestrians or even other cars. All cars will be connected through an automated network separated from pedestrians. Cars will zoom by going incredibly fast, passing within inches of each other. People are going to protest this change at first, similar to the attitude’s towards the 2nd amendment.

However, once they see the benefits, they will embrace the change. It might take several generations to be okay with this. The apparent loss of freedom in not being in control of your vehicle will be contrasted by the extremely rare event of getting into an accident. Imagine paying nothing to very little in car insurance. Imagine not getting upset at another human driver again. Gaining minutes or even hours back each day in commuting times. Connecting and controlling all cars via an online network is the right move. Saving the lives of thousands of people each year. We are lucky to be allowed to be behind the wheel. Driving is an incredibly fun and exciting experience. Especially if you are into cars in any capacity.

Other than cars / roads, many jobs will become automated eventually. I work as a project engineer for a general contractor. A very large part of my job can be automated. This part involves reviewing submittals. Submittals are what subcontractors send over (think doors, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, tile, etc.) and I have to review them to ensure they meet drawing specifications. In the future, an AI can easily compare drawings and submittals to ensure that they are in unison. For now, thankfully I still have a job.

As more processes become automated, the total amount of jobs will decrease. Unemployment will rise. A universal basic income will become necessary to support part of the population. Inflation has already taken a serious toll on the cost of living. Society will begin to crumble. No, I am just joking. Graphic designers and Photographers have likely already seen a hit in their industry from free AI tools to create and edit images. You’d think that art would be one of the last fields AI would penetrate. Not digital art apparently.

People whose jobs don’t deteriorate may find automation / technology to help speed up their day-to-day processes significantly. This may make it hard to reach that 40-hour per week that is so grossly standard. Many remote jobs have already transitioned into a more flexible work week. Jobs that measure productivity based upon tasks completed rather than time spent seems to be the ideal objective. Otherwise there’s the guilt of not being busy when you truly have completed all of your work. People giving you dirty looks when you leave early even though you did the same amount of work as them, just faster. It’s like when people give you dirty looks on the highway when you use a zipper merge correctly. It’s a disgusting society standard that needs to change.

The increase of automation will enable the need for a universal income and will also need to change the cultural standard of a 40-hr work week. We need to permit technology to take some of the working load off the people. Work does give people purpose but there is no reason to require a certain amount of time each day into it.

Lastly, automation dumbs people down. ChatGPT is used for schoolwork. Kids no longer have to worry about copywrite when cheating on essays. Adults don’t have to write emails anymore. Pilots use automatic landing methods that will ultimately cause them to be worse at landing in emergency situations when drawn to do so. Social media algorithms are another type of AI / automation that dumb people down by controlling what they see, often for the worse.

The algorithms used in social media need to be monitored and made public. They are encouraging and limiting different media, whether the creator is aware of it or not. Tiktok for example limiting some anti-Chinese videos. We need to be very careful of what we consume, as it affects the society as a whole and we lose focus on what’s important. For example, I recently realized I was seeing a lot of the “wealth” Instagram page on my feed, filled with mansions, net worth’s, celebrities, etc. I don’t care about money in the slightest. Algorithms promote spending money on physical things. We need to increase awareness of automation and it’s effects on us and society.

Skiing and snowboarding have got to be my number one favorite hobby. I was very lucky to have a ski club where I grew up in Dublin, Ohio. I started on a snowboard at age 12, joining ski club in middle school. We visited our local hill, Mad River Mountain. I stayed in ski club throughout school then joined the snowboard racing team at Ohio State. I started visiting the mountains out west with my friend Owen starting in High School. My passion for snow sports increased further when I moved to Breckenridge for a winter during COVID. Whether it was Keystone night skiing or riding home from Pioneer Crossing on Peak 7 at Breck, I was riding my snowboard on groomers a lot. It was getting a bit monotonous.

I tried skiing a handful of times but never was on the mountain enough to practice. However, now since I was riding groomers so often I thought it would be a great opportunity to pick up skiing. The majority of learning took place at Night skiing at Keystone with my friend Marlon. This was an especially good place to learn because the face would become so icy and it was challenging to get down safely. My roommate had an extra pair of beater skis’ he gave to me. Throughout the season, I managed to pick up skiing pretty well. I pretty much got to the point where I could do either skiing or snowboarding equally well. My skiing peak that winter was doing E.S.P. with Marlon, a 43 degree couloir off Peak 6 in Breck. Having two edges rather then one edge drastically improves the grip of your equipment on the snow. I didn’t ski it great, but we made it down.

These days, it has mainly come down to preference of which equipment to choose on what day. I can do 99% of runs on a snowboard but only 95% of runs on skis. The steepest couloirs and tree runs I’d struggle to do on skis. It doesn’t help that I only have one pair of skis and they’re fat and long. I am also still working on jump turns on my skis. I struggled on “Be One / Ozone” on Highlands Bowl on skis this season which runs at around 45 degrees. I didn’t fall but it was sketchy. Didn’t help that the conditions were early season and thin. I wish I brought my board that day. The chutes off Chair 23 at Mammoth are gnarly too, almost ate it that day.

It’s really hard to say what my hardest run I’ve ever done on a snowboard. Flute Bowl and The Coulouir in Whistler were hella steep. I’ve done Rambo in Crested Butte, the “steepest cut run in the US”. Otter Slide or A-Z chutes at Big Sky were steep. Wacky’s Chute in Breck had a nice small mandatory drop at the bottom of it. Snowboarding really steep terrain still seems easier to me. Jump turns are easier. With skis on extreme terrain, I am always anxious that a ski will pop off. Alright anyways I’m done ranting about me.

In general, snowboarding is more fun on powder days. Carving is so much more satisfying. Skiing is more fun on bad condition (eg. icy) days. Snowboarding is more fun in glades, maybe even moguls too. You can go much faster on skis on groomers so for that reason I prefer skis on groomers although on a carving board it is very close. For adults new to snow sports, I would always recommend to learn skiing over snowboarding. It takes a lot of patience to pick up snowboarding as an adult – for both the teacher and the student. The important thing is getting on the mountain, then getting good enough that you can enter a flow state. The flow state is the single best thing about skiing (okay second behind the beautiful nature / mountain). Leaving everything behind you, all your thoughts, worries, fears, are momentarily non-existent. Nothing else matters.

That’s all for now, although I still have a lot more to say. Stay tuned.

The following topic I have a very strong opinion on. I’m surprised this wasn’t the first blog post I have written.

America has completely fucked their cities. I took a city planning course in college and this is where I began to learn about a major downfall of the U.S. Roads through metropolitan areas. Lack of public transit. Lack of pedestrian-only areas. Then throughout the years I have traveled to Europe and Asia and confirmed my suspicions. They all do it better than us.

Perhaps this is due to the U.S.’s more recent development of cities. By recent I mean early 1900’s. This development ran parallel with the popularization of the automobile. It made sense at first to build as many roads as possible. Increasing the mobility of people and enabling the spread of knowledge and information seemed obvious. It was the lack of thought about the future, or rather lack of care about the future that caused major problems down the road. The influx of people into cities blew them into proportions that nobody ever expected. Cities are continuing to grow today.

Cars are a terrible use of space. They are incredibly extra in their body and engine size. Picture a common small car- a Honda civic. Most people don’t use all five of their seats on any given day. It is a waste of energy (i.e. gas) but just as important – waste of space. Space comes at a premium in a city. There are much better ways to move about a city without taking up space. You could ride bicycles in Amsterdam or scooters in Bangkok. Even better so – public transportation. These are large vessels that are equally if not more safe then a car. However, their space per person is kept minimal. Investing in high quality public transportation is one of the best long term decision a city can make.

Tokyo has the most impressive public transit system I have experienced. Every detail was thought of and the efficiency is impeccable. The U.S. has 5x the GDP as Japan. Why can’t they build an equally impressive transit system? The NYC Subway felt claustrophobic and dirty in comparison. While I lived in Washington DC, I was very happy with their public transit system. It was reliable, clean, and spacious. Now, living in Denver, I couldn’t be more underwhelmed. You need a car to move around this city. I used to ride my longboard to work in DC. Good luck doing the same in Denver. Their enormous potholes with swallow you whole.

Living in Denver, I am forced to commute by car every day. I average 20 mph on my 20 min commute. The traffic is a nightmare. Another city that comes to mind is Atlanta. A disgusting urban sprawl with the worst traffic in the country. A city that suffers from not investing in quality public transportation. I used to have a 45 min commute living back in Ohio, and now mine is 20 min. Both by car. Some people may reel from my complaints on seemingly “short” commutes. I don’t care. Commutes have serious mental health effects. The unpredictability of commuting causes anxiety and stress. Not to mention irritability and road rage. Also the unpredictability of finding parking.

Rarely do I have a positive experience getting in the car. It’s always “why are they going so slow” or “why are they sitting in the left lane”. I seem to have an entitlement or ego inflation that causes me to think that there should always be an open lane for me to pass. I struggle with feeling trapped. I want to feel free always. There’s nothing more satisfying than finding an open lane and zooming past the rest of traffic. I am a very assertive driver. The problem with this mindset is that it causes distress in the rest of the general public. People often get offended when I pass them. Or worse, when I use a scissor merge in its intended way. I have an obsession with efficiency and it may be my downfall. I really try and avoid being on the road as much as I can. I want to put only positive energy in the world. When I get on the road, it’s not a positive experience. For myself or those around me.

So, I got myself a place in a walkable part of town and I walk / bike as much as possible. My newest obsession is a gym that is only two blocks away. Even when I am lacking in motivation it is not hard to throw on my shoes and get over there. I absolutely love exploring my neighborhood and everything it has to offer. Parks, cafes, bars, and restaurants to name a few. Earlier in the fall I bought an annual membership to the Botanical Gardens, which I can walk to. This sort of lifestyle enables feelings of community. Being apart of Denver is more difficult to relate to, but I do feel as if I am part of the Capitol Hill neighborhood. I do wish I didn’t have to commute to work via car every day, but you win some you lose some. I hope that America comes to their senses eventually and designs their cities in a way to allow people to not be reliant on cars.