It sounds to me like you are energetically addicted
Meditate with the intent of clearing this addiction
Until it is cleared.
Don't put yourself in that place afterwards.
I had a dog named King
It protected me from the parents
Every time they wanted to hit me
The dog was there, lending a tooth or paw.
The dog mysteriously vanished on the move
From one province to the next.
Best Friend Ever
I don't know who any of those kids are, but If I were to guess by the vibration held by each in those pictures, it would be the one on the bottom right. That one isn't doing anything but complaining. The others are doing something with their lives.