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Captain Obvious™️
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Captain Obvious™️
@TheFungi669
As my high IQ followers know, I have never faked a sarcasm.
Joined December 2021
26.1K
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  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Mar 16, 2025
    Yesterday, I took my 21 year old dog to the vet to put her down. I sat in the car with her and cried. She sat on my lap and started licking my face. We turned around and drove back home. It wasn’t time for her to go.
    23M023M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Sep 15, 2024
    I don’t understand why Trump and JD Vance hate immigrants when they’re both married to immigrants.
    4.5M04.5M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Sep 13, 2024
    Stephen Curry: “My beautiful half Haitian mother will be roasting a pig tonight, just like Kamala Harris did during the debate.”
    3.3M03.3M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Nov 15, 2024
    RFK, Jr. :”Children who are vaccinated miss out on a lot of things in life.” Yeah, like polio, measles, rubella and Covid.
    2.6M02.6M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Jun 28, 2025
    Ted Cruz: “If you’re not born in the United States you are not a citizen of the United States.” Me: “Ted Cruz was born in Canada.”
    3.1M03.1M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Nov 3, 2024
    My wife and I hate Trump but as Christians we’re praying for him in church today. Dear Lord, we pray for this mf to lose by a landslide and disappear from our lives forever. Amen!🙏
    2.8M02.8M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Jan 23, 2025
    Reporter: “Mr. Trump, how do you feel about the new poll showing you’re now ranked #1 among US presidents?” Trump: “I deserve it.” Reporter: “The poll shows that you just surpassed James Buchanan as the worst president in history.”
    3.4M03.4M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Jul 20, 2024
    Call me old fashioned but I think raping a woman is disqualifying for anyone running for president.
    2.7M02.7M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Oct 18, 2024
    Yesterday, my 104 year old grandmother cast her mail in ballot for Kamala Harris. This morning, she passed away. 😢 Republicans: “Dead people are voting!”
    2.5M02.5M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Jul 14, 2024
    It’s weird that trump’s attempted assassin was a young white male, a registered Republican and a member of the NRA. Their ideal demographic.
    2.4M02.4M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Sep 22, 2025
    Who paid for Charlie Kirk’s $25M state memorial service which was really a Trump rally? U.S. taxpayers, of course.
    2.9M02.9M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Aug 9, 2024
    Lauren Boebert: “Under Tim Waltz, Detroit has the highest murder rates in Minnesota.” This is what happens when you don’t finish high school.
    2M02M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Nov 8, 2024
    Dear Latinos for Trump: During WWII 120,000 Japanese people were put in concentration camps. They were legal U.S. citizens.
    3.1M03.1M
  • user avatar
    Captain Obvious™️
    @TheFungi669
    Dec 6, 2024
    As a child, I was vaccinated which made me miss out on a lot of things in life. Like, polio, measles, and rubella.
    1.1M01.1M
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