Pinned
- *woman talking to the baby in her womb* woman w/ baby in womb: ily baby in womb: uhhhh listen we haven't even met so idk lmao maybe give it some time? i just don't want this to be weird also i'm zero
- when my sister has a baby i will sneak over & teach it mandarin chinese and my sister will be like why the fuck is my baby speaking chinese
- nevermind i cannot believe that i liked 1 direction
- ~enters frat party~ who do U know here? we're brothers oh u a sig chi? no like identical twins. we're literally in a group chat with mom
- oh my god aren’t u that viner? Yeah i was but I’m an actor now I was an extra in a movi- -my kid loves your stuff “give me my hat back Jordan” haha she never stops. Anyways why are you laying on the sidewalk inside of a sleeping bag?
- how to be famous *find camera* *wear beanie* *sit in car* “ give mE my hat back jrdan”
- why spend $60k on a corvette when u can buy a dodge neon & smoke $59,800 worth of weed in it
