How do you explain this to anyone not using the app fairly religiously
- This shit got me in tears man‘Twas the night before game day
- dad’s already imposed a “no drinking in the car” rule on a 20 minute drive to a wedding is this communist fuckin Russia
- I’m retiring from arguing with Uruguayans for the night I have to go to a job in a first world developed city tomorrow morning.
- Can’t put into words how jealous I am of the attractive woman in yoga pants at Whole Foods that just struggled to articulate that she was trying to pick up a pre-placed order from the deli. That’s her “task” of the day and it beat her ass. What a life. Probably huge house too
- Sobering up with a miller after the heavy drinks before operating my motor vehicle thanks
- About to attempt my first “desk pop” except the barrel of the gun is touching the roof of my mouth 😹😹🤷♂️🤷♂️
- Sometimes after a stressful day at work I’ll crack open a Foamer on the way back from the office and remind myself that I’ve only gotta do this type of day 10,366 more times till I’m in the home stretch and that really cheers me up
- No VBucks third year in a row. Another year of running Default Skins fuck my life
- That Murray Hill Guy account that just tweets about failed hinge dates at like 30 years old is a complete fuckin wackjob
- Jersey Mikes needs to Collab with Michelle Obama so I can order my sub Big Mike’s Way
