My vegetarian sister discovered we were all in a separate group chat without her, sharing delicious food photos, called Secret Meat Up
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- The nurse said she needed some urine to test for potassium. "K," I said. Silence. "I bet everyone makes that joke," I say. She's like "In 15 years of nursing not one person has made that joke"
- Last summer, my husband met me at a restaurant, and we were so genuinely happy to see each other that the couple sitting at the table next to us broke up
- This would cure meYou’re unable to view this Post because this account owner limits who can view their Posts. Learn more
- You don't need grad school or Europe or yoga or microdosing, you need thisMy best friend is moving within walking distance of me next month. Life is about to be a nationally syndicated sitcom broe
- If you have kids under the age of 6 and fun plans this summer, DO NOT tell them about the fun plans until you are literally arriving at the plans. Pulling up to the gate.
- I can't prove he's involved (yet), but my 3yo has been obsessing over tow trucks for weeks and today we blew a tire 🧐 on nothing 🧐 for no reason 🧐
- Today my preschooler was jumping in puddles and there was a huge group of parents standing around with their sad dry children talking about how they "don't let their kids jump in puddles" and it made me feel INSANE. It was so performative it made me feel performativeWe need to cancel all back to school events until we can figure out why the parents of America act SO TOTALLY WEIRD in social settings.
- One time to be safe, I asked a male friend (who was completely sober) to walk me home so I got home safely. We had a really nice heart to heart. Perfect gentleman. A few days later he murdered a sex worker. So no, not all men, but some men, indistinguishable from other men.
- I always judged elderly couples who can't function apart, but occasionally my husband sleeps in, and since he makes the coffee, I just don't have coffee those days. I want coffee but alas. Unsolvable problem
- Dad at the park told me he thinks the age gap between my kids was a bad idea and seemed too hard. He says the age gap between his kids was better. Very helpful thank you!
- Most of the trick to having friends as an adult is accepting all invitations and then subsequently showing up.
- Replying to @sarahradz_The woman turned to her boyfriend and said "have you ever been that happy to see me?" And this guy goes "eh not really". Me and husband trying not to interject like 🫢🫣🥶🥴
- We lived in a complex like this, with a little playground in the middle, and one of the neighbors would come out every day and yell at the kids for playing on it.This is how I want to live with my family and friends. Make this legal to build, everywhere:
