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tess
35.1K posts
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tess
@xsphi
THIS PRODUCT IS NOT APPROVED BY THE FDA TO TREAT, CURE, OR PREVENT ANY DISEASE.
she/her (like a ship)
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Joined October 2013
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  • Pinned
    user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Nov 4, 2022
    Welcome to earth. There's no magic here except what you bring with you.
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Mar 6, 2025
    there's exactly one type of car it's actually funny to have this on
    This post is unavailable.
    6.1M06.1M
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Jul 23, 2024
    the first nonsense dewokeification change that's actually good
    user avatar
    Emojipedia
    @Emojipedia
    Jul 23, 2024
    X (fka Twitter) has quietly redesigned its 🔫 Water Pistol emoji to display as an actual firearm. This significantly diverges from the cross-platform conversion of this emoji from pistol to water gun from 2016 to 2018. 🔗 blog.emojipedia.org/x-redesigns-wa…
    Comparison between Twitter's Water Pistol design and X's new redesign of this emoji as a firearm.
    1.2M01.2M
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    May 14, 2024
    Image
    This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
    2.6M02.6M
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Sep 1, 2022
    Proposed software term: a ladybug -- a glitch that clearly isn't a feature, but is harmless and sparks joy so it is allowed to stay
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Mar 6, 2025
    Replying to @xsphi
    ok I looked into Henry Ford and there's at least two types of cars
    user avatar
    Liv
    @Liv_Agar
    Mar 5, 2025
    Putting this on my ford truck
    851K0851K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    May 22, 2024
    [guy crashing his bike for no reason meme] used to be you could stick a stick through your bike tire while riding, but you you can't. because of spoke.
    859K0859K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Mar 20, 2024
    what credit card has the highest possible vendor fees? not necessarily good rewards or anything, just high vendor fees. I need something to use at places that don't accept cash.
    2.4M02.4M
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Feb 12, 2025
    guy who thinks killing 15 monkeys in order to solve serious neurological conditions for everyone forever is bad, and also thinks a college ethics class would reliabily cause you to believe this
    user avatar
    Terminally Online Leftist 🥂
    @terminallyOL
    Feb 11, 2025
    evergreen
    Image
    663K0663K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Sep 14, 2025
    next time your gf asks if you'd still love her if she was a worm, ask if she would be "extremely cooperative with authorities" if you were implicated in an assassination investigation
    149K0149K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Oct 30, 2025
    I really appreciate the term crashing out. never before has there been a value-neutral way to say someone is having a mental health episode
    112K0112K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Jun 4, 2025
    peace time: deploying fiber internet takes days per mile and will cost you $60k war time: fiber internet is flying at you at 40mph for free. there's nothing you can do to stop it
    153K0153K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    Oct 8, 2024
    some of y'alls relationships with your brains
    user avatar
    Pepper Chips
    @landsknechtDev
    Oct 8, 2024
    Modern coding be like
    Image
    113K0113K
  • user avatar
    tess
    @xsphi
    May 11, 2025
    quant interview question
    Image
    330K0330K
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