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Yesterday I said to my kindergarteners “alright my little noodles” and one of my boys whispered to himself in wonder “I’m spaghetti?”
maddie, hot dog enthusiast
34.5K posts
maddie, hot dog enthusiast
@damnitmadeline
kindergarten special education teacher // she/her // abolish ICE // abolish police // Black Lives Matter // 🇵🇸
Joined January 2012
- My last name starts with a W and today one of my third graders said “the w is falling off your name” and I said “what name” and he said “up there” and I said “that’s the word welcome” and he said wearily “you KNOW I can’t read”
- Just discovered that my bf is more or less incapable of sitting criss cross applesauce and I said “text your boys rn and see if they can sit criss cross applesauce” and he said “okay but I’m going to say cross legged instead” masculinity is such a prison
- I’ve never owned a kitten before this one and I always kind of assumed that baby animals were born with implicit understandings of things like Hot and What Water Is but he’s really proving me wrong at every turn
- Once you learn that a large percentage of Hamas soldiers are people orphaned by the IDF it kinda changes your brain chemistryIsrael has worked tirelessly to make the answer to “do you condemn Hamas?” go from “yes” to “tbh I kinda get it.”
- Am probably on a list with my local amusement park bc I asked a child to go fill up my water bottle earlier and he returned with 32 ounces of lemonade
- Bf dropped his head for a full 30 seconds of silence bc he was explaining the stock market crash to me and I sagely supplied “it’s because mercury went into retrograde yesterday”
- Today I was briefly supervising my friend’s class & a 5,000,000 gallon jug of hand sanitizer overbalanced & spilled all over the floor & the children said “what do we do?!” & I said “I don’t know I really wish I wasn’t the adult in here for this” & they all nodded understandingly
- Trying to find nicer ways to tell people I think they’re overthinking something
- Mine is that one time I was walking to my off campus internship very early in the morning and a guy fell into step w me and started telling me his life story and after I ignored him for approx 10 minutes he started repeatedly asking me out and grilling me about my body count (1/)"Not every single woman has a scary story about a man" Yes they do. I promise you that they do.
- Are you guys on the part of Twitter where that poor British man is being read for filth by the fish community for the way he’s caring for a goldfish he found randomly lying in his yard
- Asked my dad if he likes my bf and he said “yes, he seems to regard you with the proper degree of devotion” and then he said “I like that he challenges you” and then he mused seemingly mostly to himself, “you have needed to be reigned in for some time”
- We’re having field day today and this same child came up to me and said “you need anything?” and I said “no I don’t need you to commit any more crimes for me” and his homeroom teacher said “wait what”Am probably on a list with my local amusement park bc I asked a child to go fill up my water bottle earlier and he returned with 32 ounces of lemonade
- Made friends w a child at the stingray tank at the aquarium, we were equally apprehensive ab touching the stingrays & then he said “I’ve been here before for school” & I said “wow, is it just like you remember it?” & he pointed to one specific stingray & said “yeah he was here”
