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me, now a pro at opening a bottle of wine with a screwdriver: yes quarantine is going fine~~
amanda
43K posts
amanda
@diedoflaughter
like a drunk maya angelou (she/her)
- not mine posting me googling how to spell restaurant 3 times a week
- one time I bought this dude concert tickets for his bday bc he always said he didn’t have money to go out so anyways I told him & he didn’t say thanks & then ghosted me for 2 weeks so when he texted right before the concert so he could still go I ignored him & took another guy 🥳
- they fucking pull u back up faster than gravity had u hitting the ground for real, it’s almost artful to watch.
- Replying to @Janaeble and @okaishawtyThey were Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets too!!!!! The AUDACITY of him to ghost me!!!!!!!!
- Replying to @loveeestained and @abbygovhe has 3 Netflix specials :)
- Replying to @malibushelley1 and @PageSixyikes that’s a whole lot of misogyny and antisemitism for one tweet!
- have you considered that perhaps they do not want a million photos of themselves, but they want a handful of really good ones? And that taking a million is exactly how you get a handful of great ones?
- can u do mine next 👀
- Replying to @zachsilberberg and @Skovulartbh if any 19 year old DIDNT find me cringe in some ways i’d be upset
