Pinned
*waits for it*
*waits for personal insult based on my Twitter profile*
*knows it's coming*
Disappointed Optimist
244.5K posts
Disappointed Optimist
@disappoptimism
prepare for the end days
Joined June 2012
- The Oompa Loompa from the knock off Wonka land experience looks like she’s running a literal meth lab and is seriously questioning the life choices up until this point. If you scripted this, I would say it was too on the nose
- “What do you mean the carpet is killing people?! Carpet can’t -“
- Incredible reply. Outstanding. A modern art masterpiece.
- Whenever I see the fashion Guy his thing on twitter I feel like I’m witnessing the reincarnation of some wise ancient samurai casually, yet elegantly, yet forcefully, removing the head from someone with the force of a hurricane.
- Boat hit it mate. It’s right there in the picture.What contributed to the Baltimore Bridge collapse? bbc.in/4acP7mi
- Bloke I used to work with in the city literally shit himself as he crossed the finishing line in crippling agony; over the next 5 days some of his toenails dropped off & his girlfriend who was waiting for him at the finishing line stopped returning his textswhat if you had a boyfriend (imagine) who was doing the marathon and you went to meet him at the end and you saw him cobbling towards you, shivering in this little tin foil shawl and you got the ick
- I just believe we need to have a long think about what people are doing as a result of Tik Tok x.com/i/status/17798…
- Big Bens clock has stopped; horses are running loose in London covered in blood. All we need now is all the ravens to leave the Tower of London & we got a full set of portents of woe.
- Looking into my fridge and grimacing as I don’t know which item for tea will kill me and can’t wash it all under the tap because the tap water has poo in it as wellBREAKING: An urgent health warning has been issued after an E.coli outbreak was linked to a "nationally distributed food item" news.sky.com/story/urgent-h…
- Nah. Something is up. It’s been bugging me ever since the sudden rush to announce a general election. What is it that came up literally today that made Sunak announce the GE?
- Are you kidding? He looks like he just drank from the wrong GrailHe just doesn't bloody age
