ABC Wednesday, A for Absurdities

 We are arrived at a new round and starting with A.
These drawings are all made by Heath Robinson

William Heath Robinson (31 May 1872 – 13 September 1944) was an English cartoonist and illustrator best known for drawings of ridiculously complicated machines for achieving simple objectives.^[1]
In the U.K., the term "Heath Robinson" entered the language during the 1914–1918 First World War as a description of any unnecessarily complex and implausible contrivance, much as "Rube Goldberg machines" came to be used in the U.S. from the 1920s onwards as a term for similar efforts. "Heath Robinson contraption" is perhaps more often used in relation to temporary fixes using ingenuity and whatever is to hand, often string and tape, or unlikely cannibalisations. Its continuing popularity was undoubtedly linked to Second World War Britain's shortages and the need to "make do and mend".

With thanks to Denise Nesbitt, who created the ABC mee.For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar . This week we are looking for words beginning with A and then we will have begun Round Eighteen

ABC Wednesday, A for Amazing, Astonishing, Absurd.

A for Amazing, Astonishing, Absurd...

It was a nice and sunny day and everybody in the lawyer’s office was in a good mood. They were cheerfully talking and sipping their coffee, when the door opened and a man entered the office, limping. One of his legs was in a cast, one of his arms was in a sling. He looked a wreck. One of the lawyers got up, put his coffee cup down and said: “ Mr.Brown, I presume!”. The man nodded and spoke with a hoarse voice; “Are you mr. Deed , the lawyer who will give me legal aid and defend my case ?”
“Yes that’s me. Could you tell me what happened?”
“I was attacked , while I was working in an old house, and suddenly this little old lady entered the room and pointed a gun at me. I was so frightened that I ran to the balcony and jumped off it. I broke my leg and an arm”.
Mr. Deed: “What were you doing in the house, are you an electrician or a plumber ?”
Mr. Brown:”No.”
Mr.Deed:”Are you insured?”
Mr. Brown: “No, that’s not possible with the kind of work I do…”
Mr.Deed( looking puzzled):”What time was it ?”
Mr.Brown:”It was two o’clock!”
Mr. Deed:”Ah two o’clock in the afternoon and then…”
Mr.Brown:”No no no…It was two o’clock at night!”
With a look of unbelieve the lawyer answered :”OH… but then you were committing .....burglary??"
MrBrown:” Uh… well yea that’s my job. The fact is that because of that little old lady I haven’t been able to work for many weeks and apart from that I had to pay the doctor and therefore I want her to pay for all my expenses. Besides it’s illegal to possess a gun…. Will you assist me when I take the matter to court?”
Mr.Deed:”Well…okay “
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------At court
Mr. Deed claimed that Mr. Brown lost a lot of money by the action of the little old lady, who was in illegal possession of a gun. The old lady said that she thought she was entitled to defend her house against intruders. True, but not with a gun even if it proved to be unloaded. She should have used…uh… her fists(???) Anyway she lost the lawsuit and was fined… one Euro.(the last part of the story was made up... sorry)


With thanks to Denise Nesbitt, who created ABC.We begin a new round of the fascinating meme of ABC. For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar or Here. This week we are looking for words beginning with A.

that's My World,ABC Wednesday, A for Absurdities

Please click to enlarge to read the captions! Drawings made by Heath Robinson.

He might have been successful...
A couple of years ago the always so peaceful and quiet village, where I live, was startled by the news that a real crime had occurred here. Everybody talked about it. It was in all the local newspapers, even on TV.
Before I begin telling you the story, I first have to explain how the situation is in our small shopping centre. In one of the shops we have a small sub post office in one of the corners. There is always a lady helping at the desk. She knows everybody in our village, but on the afternoon of a certain day in summer a man, whom she didn't know, stood waiting in the queue. She didn't pay too much attention to him, because she was rather busy, but the shopkeeper noticed that the newcomer was a bit nervous and had shifty eyes. He also held his right hand in the pocket of his jacket. The man waited until the last customer had left, then he went to the desk and asked in a rough voice :"Money...money ... quick..."He took his hand out of his pocket and waved with something which looked like a gun." Money... money... come on... hurry up..." The lady behind the desk responded coolly:"Sorry sir, I am afraid we haven't got any money ". Now the man got really nervous and desperately he cried : "Money in safe!" She answered:"No, I haven't got the key!" At this point John, the shopkeeper jumped over the counter and tried to catch the man by his coat. The so-called bankrobber startled and escaped through the backdoor, dropping his gun. The shopkeeper of the shop opposite the post office heard the noise and ran out of his shop. John signalled to him that he had to ring the police, that's 1-1-2 for emergencies, while he continued pursuing the culprit. The police were very soon at the crime scene and were looking everywhere, there was even a helicopter trying to find him, but all in vain. They never found him! And since that time there haven't been any other "armed" robberies. The silly-billy had probably learnt his lesson. He might have been successful with a real gun, instead of the toy gun he left behind.!!

That's my World is hosted by Klaus,Sandy,Ivar,Wren,Fishing Guy & Louise - a Team of experienced bloggers, whom we thank for this wonderful meme. You can see more of the world of other bloggers by clicking on the logo in the side bar or on that's My World




With thanks to Denise Nesbitt, who created ABC.For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar or Here. This week we are looking for words beginning with A

Reflections on "The British Character". by Pont

 
 
 

Click to enlarge!

These cartoons were taken from the book " The British Character" by the British cartoonist Pont, who was a collector of clichés in Britain.He was one of the most observant humorous artists of our time. He died at the age of thirty-two. The British Character appeared in book form in 1938 and edition after edition was sold. As I had a horror story two days ago for ABC, I thought it appropriate to continue a bit in that direction and show you these cartoons, which gave me the idea that the British love horror stories!!

This meme was started on 27 September 2009, by James. You can join this meme at some time during the weekend. Just post your photo and go to James to tell him that you are on, or click on the logo in the sidebar.This meme is created for any type of reflection.

ABC Wednesday T for Tennis

Click to enlarge, please.

Four ways to play tennis, drawn by W.Heath Robinson in his book "Absurdities, a book of collected drawings".

W.Heath Robinson was born in 1872 and died in 1944. Heath Robinson, having studied art at the Islington School of Art and sporadically at the Painting Schools of the Royal Academy, truly wished to make a living as a landscape painter. At the age of 25, however, came the rude realization that making drawings for the burgeoning publications of the day was likely to earn him a living, whereas the sale of just one landscape that year (to a friend) was not. His brothers had already started their illustration careers, and it seemed it was time for young Will to join them. That year, 1897, he produced illustrations for four books:

* The Giant Crab and Other Tales From Old India
* Danish Fairy Tales and Legends of Hans Andersen
* Don Quixote
* The Pilgrim's Progress


ABC is created by Denise Nesbitt .For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar or Here. This week we are looking for words beginning with T.

ABC Wednesday I for ILLEGAL

Peeling an orange in a hotel room is ILLEGAL.

Painting a horse is ILLEGAL.

Fishing for trout from the back of giraffe is ILLEGAL.

All these laws were once passed in the USA and in the UK.
=================================================

1.It's ILLEGAL to die in the Houses of Parliament!

I found this in my newspaper and thought it rather hilarious!

The law above is one of the top ten of the most ridiculous laws compiled by a panel of 4000 British people. Here are the other nine:
2.It is ILLEGAL and an act of treason to put a stamp with the image of the queen upside down on the envelope.
3.In Liverpool it's ILLEGAL if a woman walks about topless, unless she works in a shop of tropical fish.
4.It's ILLEGAL to eat pies on Boxingday.
5.If some one knocks on your door in Scotland asking if he may use your toilet, you are obliged to let him in. It's ILLEGAL to refuse this request.
6.A pregnant woman is permitted to answer nature's call wherever she wants, even in the helmet of a policeman.
7.The head of any dead whale, found on the British coast becomes the king's property, the tail goes to the queen. Any other decision is ILLEGAL.
8.It is ILLEGAL to keep silent to the tax inspector about the things you don't want to tell him.But it is legal to keep silent about the information you don't mind him to know.
9.It is ILLEGAL to enter the Houses of Parliament in armour.
10.It is not ILLEGAL to kill a Scotsman within the old walls of the City of York, but only if he carries bow and arrow

ABC is created by Denise Nesbitt and a team of experienced bloggers.For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar or Here. This week we are looking for words beginning with I.

It's ILLEGAL to take your clothes off while having a bath in a bathtub.

ABC Wednesday H for History

Solomon had seven hundred porcupines!!







One of my students gave me these beauties!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the funniest answers are those that are misspelled...


1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elswhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3 Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4 The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greek also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5..Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6 In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

7 Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be king. Dying, he gasped out "Tee hee, Brutus."

8 Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

9.Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success . When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted, "Hurrah!"

ABC is created by Denise Nesbitt and a team of experienced bloggers.For more interesting ABC posts click on the logo in the sidebar or Here. This week we are looking for words beginning with H.

A Robot as Shrink or as Nurse...

Que Sera....
2008-Jan-28 - A Robot as Shrink or as Nurse...



Due to a shortage of geriatric helpers, Japan has found a remarkable solution.The government has commissioned various factories to construct a robot , which can serve as a geriatric assistant.Car manufacturer Honda has already designed a model that can dance and serve tea.Toyota showed a hominoid robot that is able to play the violin.
Not only nursing robots will be used in the near future but there is already a possibility to consult a "shrink"robot, called a robot-coach by its inventor, the psychologist Jaap Hollander.This robot can't give you a ready- made answer, but a structure to find a solution yourself.The robot-coach doesn't say: "Come sit down and tell me what the matter is!".It is above all to the point. It asks:"Which problem do you want to tackle today?" Your answer must be maximal eight words."We might change a few things,"says Jaap Hollander, psychologist and together with colleague Jeffrey Wijnberg the brains behind www.mindmentor.com. It's a computer programme offering the latest way of psychiatric help.It creates an environment that enables people to find a solution themselves. After paying 4.95 euro you are asked to spend an hour and start the test.The programme has its limitations: it has no intuition, a limited linguistic feeling and it is not creative.It isn't fit for very depressive people.Above all it might be an obstacle that the programme is in English, because the programmers didn't speak Dutch. Hollander and Wijnberg left it be like that. Anyone who finished a secondary school in the Netherlands can read the test.But....
I don't know if it is only me, but I prefer a personal approach and treatment

Obsessive Love... How sick must one be...?

Obsessive Love...
Every afternoon we can watch Dr. Phil. Every now and then I have some time to do so. Today I saw the programme about a husband who is so obsessed with the idea that his wife is having an affair.Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues
The complicated and intense story of Jennifer and Jeffrey continues. Jeffrey is so obsessed with his wife that he follows her every move. He has locked her in the basement, taken inappropriate pictures of her while she sleeps, tapped her phone conversations, tracked her with a GPS, alienated her from friends and family and isolated her at home financially, physically and socially. He had the whole house bugged from top to bottom, he checked her e-mails. He is excessively violent if he suspects Jennifer of having an affair.

Caught in the Middle of the Madness
Jeffrey and Jennifer's three kids suffer the consequences of their parents' fighting. Their eldest child has watched his father track his mother and listen to her conversations. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross in his efforts to control Jennifer?
"I don’t want my girls to think that they have to put up with something like this."
Jeffrey goes backstage so Dr. Phil and Jennifer can speak one on one. Without her husband sitting next to her intimidating and controlling her, what does Jennifer reveal about her situation?
"This isn’t love that does this."
Backstage Meltdown
As Jeffrey waits in the green room, he becomes physically ill. Dr. Phil confronts him and offers a solution.
"Are you man enough to step up and do it?"
Moving Forward
Both Jeffrey and Jennifer join Dr. Phil onstage. How does Jennifer feel after watching Jeffrey's breakdown? Can they both agree on a plan for the family?
"I don’t see an evil guy when I look at you."


Final Thoughts
At the end of the show, Dr. Phil explains why he isn't telling Jennifer to leave Jeffrey right now. “I think the healthier we can get him, the better this union is going to be for the children who are involved,” he says. “If, [after he receives help], she makes the election to divorce him and move on — which she very well may — then at least he will come to it with some focus and some stability to be a good partner with her in raising these children as divorced man and wife, if that’s where we're headed.” In the meantime he had to be taken into care and to submit himself to psychiatric treatment, but nevertheless he kept phoning his wife from midnight till 4 am, now threatening her, then apologizing for his anger and promising her that he wanted to change. Jennifer expressed the wish to get a divorce to Dr Phil. He then arranged for her the best legal help and protection, because he and the psychiater feared that Jeffrey could be dangerous.The programme ended with the husband, who was not allowed to see Jennifer, was still believing that he could be united with his wife. He wasn't told yet that Jennifer had filed a petition for divorce. I should like to know if she really got a divorce and if she was protected sufficiently. After all how sick must one be, to get treatment? And does it help

He might have been successful....

2008-Jan-21 - He might have been successful...
A couple of years ago the always so peaceful and quiet village, where I live, was startled by the news that a real crime had occurred here. Everybody talked about it. It was in all the local newspapers, even on TV.
Before I begin telling you the story, I first have to explain how the situation is in our small shopping centre. In one of the shops we have a small sub post office in one of the corners. There is always a lady helping at the desk. She knows everybody in our village, but on the afternoon of a certain day in summer a man, whom she didn't know, stood waiting in the queue. She didn't pay too much attention to him, because she was rather busy, but the shopkeeper noticed that the newcomer was a bit nervous and had shifty eyes. He also held his right hand in the pocket of his jacket. The man waited until the last customer had left, then he went to the desk and asked in a rough voice :"Money...money ... quick..."He took his hand out of his pocket and waved with something which looked like a gun." Money... money... come on... hurry up..." The lady behind the desk responded coolly:"Sorry sir, I am afraid we haven't got any money ". Now the man got really nervous and desperately he cried : "Money in safe!" She answered:"No, I haven't got the key!" At this point John, the shopkeeper jumped over the counter and tried to catch the man by his coat. The so-called bankrobber startled and escaped through the backdoor, leaving his gun, which proved to be a toy gun. The shopkeeper of the shop opposite the post office heard the noise and ran out of his shop. John signalled to him that he had to ring the police, that's one-one-two for emergencies, while he continued pursuing the culprit. The police were very soon at the crime scene and were looking everywhere, there was even a helicopter trying to find him, but all in vain. They never found him! And since that time there haven't been any other "armed" robberies. The silly-billy had probably learnt his lesson. He might have been successful with a real gun!!

What do you think of this???

My daughter got these photos in her e-mail this morning.It has the title:" I shall never complain about my kids again!"
What could have possessed these young people?