Breadcrumbs & Butterbeans

Friends, we lost sorchasilver today. My lovely friend, my glittermaster. It was shockingly quick, and she was far too young. She was taken suddenly unwell just over a week ago, and had been unconscious in hospital since then. Her family were with her and it's unlikely that she was aware of what was happening, thankfully.

The fangirl phone tree, which she had so often been a part of in happier times to scoop tickets for Adam or Queen gigs, activated and hopefully those of you who knew her have been contacted more privately, but if this is the first you are hearing of it, know she was surrounded by love in the hospital.

It can be hard to make friends as an adult - meeting people through work isn't the same as meeting them at school, or uni, simple proximity isn't necessarily enough on its own to make a friendship, but fandom... our lovely home is the definite exception to that rule - I have made so many good friends through our mutual love of something and our virtual or (conventions, gigs) physical proximity. Some of my excellent pocket friends I have been lucky enough to spend time out of the internet, and I was absolutely lucky enough to spend substantial time with her... Not that there was any difference to the level of friendship in either medium. She still made me laugh until I choked "just" through DMs.

I have never laughed as much, or felt as held up and supported or put the world more to rights than with my fandom friends, and Sorche was such an important one amongst them. From our initial bonding through the chaos of being Scottish fen going to Asylum, to the sparkly world of Adam Lambert, staying in one of the weirdest hotels in Manchester and traveling through the icepocalypse, through weekends away and nearly getting thrown off an open topped bus tour of Edinburgh for laughing far, far too much there are SO many core memories and important adventures that she's a key part of. There were quieter moments, too, chatting and sorting out the universe at large. I will miss you, friend, so badly, although it's possible that I'll buy a little less makeup.

I'm so glad we got to have that lovely dinner at the end of November, it was such good fun and righted the universe exactly as it needed to be <3 <3

Thinking of her brings joy first, even if it now brings grief close on its heels.

When we met up again in person in June after too much time apart I burst into tears in the middle of Prince's Street Gardens, just for the relief of being in the same space with my lovely friends again. Thankfully we got to make up a bit of lost time after that, including a weekend away in York, with the most amazing roast potatoes, and the BEST day at world con. She got to hear Mary Robinette Kowal read from her new Lady Astronaut book, and I am SO glad, it meant so much to us both that we got into that room (and into the front row. We had skills!). I am beyond sad that she will not, now be able to read the new book herself.

Later that same day we got to meet Seanan outside just as we were leaving and have an excellent chat, including the Richard Adams' Watership Down quote which forms the title of this entry. That is another special core memory I will carry onward for us both and I know it meant a lot to her, too.



This post is left open, in case there's anyone else you think should be told.