Anger and Judgment

It was not usual. She didn't utter a word when we met this morning, not even the greeting of 'good morning'.

I later found out that she felt that i am not a responsible person to the family and am also a man vulnerable to being unfaithful. Sounds familiar?! :) And her mere suspicions alone were enough to make me guilty as charged. I was told no explanations were required as she will not accept any.

I heard of women jumping into conclusions in matters pertaining to the heart, but in this case, I was not even an involved party in the broil, if there should be one to start off with. I am neither her spouse nor her lover and ironically her summary judgment on me was that I am a bad influence to her husband.

I am glad I was a mere observer and not sucked into her whirlpool of sad thinking. Life is a game and one becomes cynical after brushes like this. There was virtually electricity biting in the air throughout her cold and silent reception. Then, I decided to turn around and run the other direction, as I won't like to get involved!

Acting the Villain

Many faces, same soul.

Which one of this is the real me?

Of late, I have been playing villains. Casting directors love actors with a beard. They seem to associate beards with villains, or perhaps they are playing to the likes of audiences that love to see their villains larger than life - with beards, gold chains, tattoos and other ferocious looking ancillaries. Villain roles are tiring. As an angry and yelling screen character, the first and most affected person would be me. The rule is that whenever we get aggressive or violent, we feel lousy. Whenever we think aggressively, we feel lousy, as we would be the first recipients of such thoughts.

Thankfully, the same goes for any type of thoughts, including loving or peaceful ones, as we feel their immediate glory and peace. Loving thoughts precedes a calm and peaceful mind and it begets loving thoughts from others around us. Recently, I had the good fortune of doing a shoot by the shore of a placid lake. The environment was so congenial that I actually felt more relaxed after the shoot than when I started.

This really means that I should choose to act in more calm and peaceful films than violent and nasty ones. Sadly, there are more nasty ones around, as there is more demand for them. As Ekhart Tolle said, "... more pain films demanded by pain bodies...".

In real life, we too have to make our choices, and I would choose a peaceful story any day.

If you like to visit my actor's blog, click here.

Passive Anger

Do you recognise this? Anger can be covert.

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Till Death Do Us Part, 3 - Heart-to-Heart

I got this from an email from a friend (original source unknown):

Why do People Shout In Anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' 

The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.' 

'But, why do we have to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' 

The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint. 

Finally, he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are distanced. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. 

The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance." 

Then the saint asked, "What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? 

Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small..." 

The saint continued, "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not just speak, they whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they do not even need to whisper, they look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other."

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. 

Spiritual Parenting 3a - Voice of Authority

I have just finished reading Mike George's book "Don't Get Mad, Get Wise". Click here
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What I learn from the book is that nobody can make me angry, other than myself; and that it is silly to get angry over something for a long time, sometimes years, over something someone did for 5 minutes. If I am angry, it means I am turbulent inside to start off with and the turbulence became active because I allowed it to be so.

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In it, it says that parents who get angry with their children amounts to making their children feeling guilty and shameful of themselves, resulting in low self esteem. Where the low self-esteem persists, the child will grow up as ill-adjusted adults, some even committing crime. That's why I think anger does not solve anything. Actually, this inflicting of guilt and shame extends to our relationship with adults too, when we get angry with them.

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I think anger is fear motivated. In the absence of anger and fear, peacefulness reign.

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Some quotes from the book:

Page 64

Peace is the state of being, which shapes a state of mind, which generates positive and focused thinking, which are expressed as proactive attitudes and behaviours.

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The presence of peace means the absence of emotional disturbance, and when there is emotional freedom it means the inner eye is not distracted by the world outside or by memories of the world inside.

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page 75

To go with the grain of truth about peace is to realise your peace is not just for you, it is also for the world... when you realise this, you will also recognise how the vibration of peacefulness radiates outwards. When you consciously realise your peace to others and to the world, that's when you will feel its power.

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page 80

Your peace is unquestionably yours, it is you, but unless you channel its power and give it away, it will disappear... when you give it away, it increases in depth and therefore quality.

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In the example of Hadri and his mother getting angry with each other, the father in contrast was peaceful and radiated the peace to both of them. In the end peace and normality resumed in the family. See Spiritual Parenting 3 - Voice of Authority