New Earth Inspiration - Flapping Ducks

Dear friends,

Some of you may be curious to read the title, Flapping Ducks. Well, just a little something (yet profound) which I would like to share with you, something that I learnt from the wonderful book, A New Earth.

In the book, Mr Eckhart Tolle wrote on his observations on ducks. He noted that immediately after two ducks finishes a fight, they would swim away in separate directions, flap their wings vigorously and then float around as if nothing has happened. And he explained that through flapping their wings, the ducks were able to release all the negative energy that was built up during the fight and they do it immediately. So, the ducks are able to revert to the calm state almost immediately.

Imagine, how wonderful it would be if we can do the same. But alas...alot of us can't do it. Or rather, we "chose" not to.

Everyday of our lives, we face challenges, quarrels or fights and huge amounts of negative energy and emotions are built up within us. And more often than not, we keep that energy in us and that energy grows, to the point of hurting us in the end. Question to ponder over, is it worth it?

Of course not. But the strange thing is, the one who allows the hurt to grow and to build up, is none other than ourselves. It is we that who are not willing to forgive, to let go and to forget. Why? It all goes back to our EGO, the identification with things, whether tangible or intangible.

Think about it, unless involves the safety and future of another, a fight (either emotionally, physically or verbally) is usually started because we feel that something is right and we are defending it against another. It is usually started because of a clash of what you believe in, and what the other party believes in.

"It's mine."
"You're wrong."
"That's not true."
"I am correct."
"I don't agree with that."
"I am offended."
"What're you talking about?"
"That's absurd."
"Oh, why can't you shut up."

And to make matters worse, even after when the fight is finished, your mind still holds the scenes of the fight, repeating it in your mind, again and again and again and again.

Recall...all the fights you have ever had...and you would see that this is so true.

But the question is...Is what you think truly right? Is what the other person says, truly wrong? How certain are you? Could it be possible that, there could be flaws in your own ideas? Could it be possible that, there could be truth in the other person's thoughts?

And unless you are arguing about the natural laws of life (like gravity, heat, earth revolving around the sun, aging, etc), can you really be so certain that your way is the right way? And if not, is there truly a need for the fight in the first place?

What I would just like to ask, is it worth getting upset, hurt, angry or sad just to win an argument or fight? Is it worth hurting and upsetting another just to get your point across? If it doesn't hurt anyone, wouldn't it be better to just turn your back and leave the fight? And if the fight has already happened, wouldn't it be better to just be like the ducks, flap yours wings, clear all the negative energy and just move on?

What is more important? Your health or your EGO?

You decide.

Cheers!
Ken

How To Ace Chemistry?

This Article is for those students whom are asking about how to do better in "O" levels Chemistry. I hope to share some insight on what you can do to improve on your Chem.

One important key that all Chem students must know is that, this is a subject whereby you need to build a strong foundation before moving up to the next level. It is a subject whereby the earlier topics are more important as the latter subjects. Without the basics, you would definitely have difficulties. DEFINITELY.

So, it is of the utmost importance that you must review your notes and textbooks of Chem for Chapter 1 - Chap 8 (up until Atomic Structure, Electrons, charges, Reactivity series and why certain element are more reactive/less reactive, Periodic table arrangement, etc).
Now, while this may sound like a lot of work. BUT, once this portion is done, the rest of the chapters will become soooo much easier. So, it is definitely worth your investment of time and effort.

Now, why is it that Chap 1-8 is important? Let me give you an example.

In the latter chapter of Ionic bonding and Covalent bonding, what is it actually talking about? It is talking about the reactivity of the metals and non metals, and how they will bond together. BUT, if you chunk down further, it is testing more of your understanding of the periodic table arrangement and electrons . It is because of the lack or additional number of electrons which causes the instability, which explains the reactivity level (Cation / Anion).

(Just an interesting note for you, reactivity can be equated to the insecurity of human beings. The more things (in Chem, it will be electrons) that a human (elements, metals or non-metals) is missing, the more this human wants to bond (either sharing or taking of electrons) with others. But if this human has extra, then, this human will only feel secure through giving aways or share with others all the extra things. See if this helps you to understand Bonding better.)

So, imagine if you don't even know how the periodic table is arranged, what electrons are, what is missing, whether is it a metal or non-metal, do you think you can answer the questions properly? Obviously no.

Another example would be Oxidation and Reduction. One was of seeing whether it is Oxi or Red is whether there is loss or gain of electrons. So, what is the basic topic of this chapter again? Back to Chapter 1-8 again. If you don't understand the electrons, and how to identify, you would definitely face challenges.

To score an A for O Levels Chemistry, is very easy, and you just need to do your work on a daily basis. Take the next 8 days, focus on doing well in your basics, in the first 8 chapters (or up until Atomic structure, depending on which text you are using). Upon completion of this part, you can be sure of easier path ahead in your studying of Chem.

Now, if you are keen to know how you can guarantee an A for your Chem, drop me a message here.


Ken Koh is the Co-Trainer and Consultant of the highly successful Super Teens Holiday Camp and Smart Kid Training workshop. He has positively impacted the lives and personally coached over 15,000 students from Singapore, Malaysia, China and Indonesia. Ken is one of the rare few in Singapore to be personally trained and coached by Dr Ernest Wong. For more information, please visit www.learningmastery.com.

Success Without Fulfilment Is Failure.

Recently, one of my students came up to me, and gave me a note that really means so much to both him and me. While I can't share with you about the contents of the letter, I can only say that it sets me thinking about, "how we can live a full life?"

As the saying goes, "It is not the number of breaths you have, but the number of breath taking moments you have."

And this is so true. We have heard about this before that just before we die, we will see our own life flash before our eyes. While that cannot be proven, I believe that it is not our whole life, BUT RATHER, special moments in our life that will appear instead. Moments that have a strong significant emotional meaning.

It could be the day when you took your first step, first fall, first crush, first kiss, heartbreak, loss of a dear one, gain of a new one, hurt, tears, joy, ecstatic moment, etc. Those, I believe, are the moments which you would see. (From hereon, I shall use moments for ease.)

Moments are important to us. It can be likened to the quality of the life we have. It can determine the state we are usually in. It is your life!

And interestingly, if you read my previous articles, you would know that we can create the types of moments we want in our lives. For this article, I choose to guide you to use moments to create a more fulfilling life for yourself.

So, if you want to live with lesser regrets (heck, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have zero regrets), all you need to do, is follow these steps.

1) At the end of each day, spend 15 mins recalling the Moments of the day.
2) Write them out in your Moments Book.
3) Detail it, clearly describing your feelings, the special emotions you encountered.
4) Give gratitude, and say thanks. From the bottom of your heart.

That's all! That's all your need to do for a more fulfilling life. You can be assured that by the end of a week, you will get a momentum to want to do more for life. By the end of the month, you will feel a refreshed outlook towards your own life. And by the end of the year, you will find that you have had a great year and looks forward to a even better year ahead!

Remember, Success Without Fulfilment Is Still Failure...You only deserve your best.

Power To Change.

Dear friends.

Something that I learnt today which I felt I must share. One of the biggest reason to make positive changes in yourself is simply just...Being Honest To Your Self.

The changes I am talking about refers to every aspect of life. But for the ease of explanation, I shall use fitness.

Say, there is this one person who is obese, fat, with arteries clogged to its ream and suffering from all sorts of ailments like heart pain, breathlessness, high blood pressure, dizziness, etc. While this person may not have deliberately caused himself to be in this state, you can be sure of one thing, deep down inside this person, would there be a part of him that is unhappy and depressed about the current state. A part that wants to change, but just "can't". (Note, the "can't") That's human nature. We just can never accept ourselves to be in such a state (or at least, when we choose not to avoid it.)

Now, for most who are in such a state, they usually end up in a vicious spiral. They get upset or frustrated, suffers from even more rejections from society/self, and more hurt/pain. So what happens, they seek solace and temporary escape through eating food, resulting in them getting fatter. And the situation just gets worse and worse. (Hey, trust me, this happens. I was like that once. That, is a story to be told in future. :D)

If intervention is not done immediately, this person would really be in trouble. BIG TROUBLE.

So, what is the best way for this person to start to WANT TO CHANGE, is simply. You may even laugh at what I am about to say. But it is really that SIMPLE.

It is simply HONESTY. Honesty with self.

All this guy needs to do is strip (YES, STRIP) himself in front of the mirror and look at every part of his body that he has been avoiding all these while! Now when I say look, I mean, literally SCRUTINIZE to the finest details. The enormous thighs, flabby arms, double chin, 2 thickly -layered waist line (that makes the michelin tyre mascot pale in comparison) and not to mention the sagging breasts. Imagine, what sort of emotions would this man go through? This guy would most probably break down, cry his heart out and finally want to do something about it.

Of course, this is just the first part. There are alot that this guy needs to do, BUT, he will never be the same again. He will finally want to do something about it. No more avoidance, no more lying to himself, no more built up anger, no more hurt but FORGIVENESS. Yes, forgiveness.

That is the first most important step.

If you ever want to make a change in your life, be it in your relationship, health, finances...First be honest with yourself.

When was the last time you looked into mirror of honesty?

Sincerely,
Ken Koh

Forgiveness...Forgive yourself first, before others.

This is a posting that is based on a topic given to me by one of my students who is now studying in Aussie. So here goes.

This could be the easiest and also the hardest thing that we can ever do in our life, whether is it to forgive your loved ones, your friends, colleagues, or even family members.

Why Easiest? Easiest because if it simply a choice that we can make. Hardest because it deals with our emotions and feelings.

BUT, forgiveness is possibly one of the greatest gift we have been bestowed upon. Through forgiveness, we gain freedom and empowerment. We are able to let go of all negative emotions and achieve even great results.

So, what is forgiveness? It is the willingness to forgive. So what is to forgive? There are many meanings given in the dictionary, but I like this one the most. It is "to cease to feel resentment against".

Yes, to forgive is to be able to let go of any resentment towards anyone, anything or any event. To let go of the hate, anger and bitterness. To let go of the negative.

Why is this important? Well, let me give you a simple example.

Imagine there is a person X. X holds alot of hate, resentment and anger towards Y. X feels the pain, shame, hurt and sorrow about it. While Y, who is totally clueless, feels totally indifferent towards X. Now, who is at the losing end?

In most cases, who gets hurt the most? (No prize for guessing, X of course.)

Stupid, you might say, but isn't that the truth about most of us? Most of the time, we are inflicting the same pain or damage to ourselves, either knowingly and unknowingly. So, aren't we the stupid one.

So, why is it that we find it so hard to forgive at times? The reasons are many. But the main reason is simply because of the way we view (context of) the event that happened.

Context would simply mean the way we look at the situation and thereafter, giving the situation a meaning.

Say when someone is betrayed (be it in business, love, friendship), that someone can "choose" to view the betrayal through the context that it is bad. He/she may see it as a breach of trust and having believed in the wrong person.

BUT, another person who have gone through the same situation could view it from a context that it is good. He/she may see it as a moment of truth where the true colours are seen and that he/she can move on to a better and more fulfilling life ahead with other more deserving people.

One real life example that I can give is the story of Mr Dave Peltzer. If you have read his books (The child named "it", or the Lost Boy), you would know that he has had a terrible terrible childhood where he was tortured, mentally, physically and emotionally by his "MOM". Yes, the one person that all of us would usually trust and love the most. But for him, his mom was the one person that has inflicted the most pain (such as making him eat feces, starving him, suffocating him, depriving him of sleep, oh, and almost killing him with a knife).

Imagine, what most people would do in his situation? Suicide? Destructive life of drugs, self mutilation, alcohol and hurt? Causing hurt to others? That would be the usual...if we choose to see it from "everyone's" context.

For Dave (though it did take a long while), he chose to pick himself up and move on. He became a famous author and through his training seminars, talks and books, he has impacted the many lives of those who needed help! Talk about looking through things from an entirely different context and giving it a different meaning.

So, as you can see, it is the same situation, but the different context and meaning that is given that makes one feel hurt or not.

The key is, CHOICE (if you paid attention earlier, you should know about this by now. hehe. :P). Where does this choice reside in? You! Where does this POWER of choice lies in? ___ (Please fill in the blank yourself).

You have always the choice to see things the way it is. Hard as it may seem, but you do. There are many ways to do it, and most importantly is, once you learn how to, you suddenly have a sense of empowerment and control over your own life. you will realise that all these while, you have always been blessed and loved.

Always remember, you deserve the best in life. You deserve more love. Your deserve great friends. You deserve a great career. You simply DESERVE. So, why not love yourself just a little bit more?

P.S

I can share with you alittle more about how to choose the context and meaning of every situation in your life in the near future. For now, let me just give you one simple "trick":

When you feel "hurt" or any negative feeling. Dissociate yourself from yourself. Imagine that you are now a director of your own life, looking at yourself, the people around you, the person who has "hurt" you and the things around you. Look at yourself from this "third" person's view. Do you notice that your negative feelings are lessened or even negated?

Once you are able to do this, start to look at and focus on the "positive" of the situation, such as the lessons learnt, the growth that you have achieved, the revelation of truth in the situation, the discovery of a new you, etc etc. All the good. Focus on those. How does that feel? Chances are, you would feel much better. How to continue from hereon, I will share with you some other time. Just use this simple exercise to get yourself on trck first, so that you can start to think more "logically" and not feel so bad about things. Get yourself out of the "state" first and soon, you find that you have more solutions around you.