Ohhh, NOW I Get It! (A "Short Shorts"/"Grammar Nazi" Post)

1. A couple of weeks or so ago, the USA's President Trump came in for some teasing on Twitter after posting a Tweet using the term “Boarder Wall” to refer to his proposed border wall on the US/Mexican... uhhh... border. You know, the one that he says will stop illegal immigration... because everybody knows that almost all illegal immigrants in the USA are Mexicans, right? And this wall will completely secure our boarder... errr, border.

He made this mistake twice.

Or was it a mistake? Y'see, despite all the Tweets ridiculing his alleged misspelling, and despite this very entertaining article, I'm going to give the prez the benefit of the doubt and say he meant just that. Boarder.

Here's my theory. Perhaps the biggest (loudest?) of Trump's promises during his campaign for president was that he was going to have a wall built and that Mexico would pay for it.

So here's what I think he's going to do. ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement), or the INS (United States Immigration and Naturalization Service), or... whoever... is going to round up all of the illegal immigrants (and as stated above, almost every damned one of 'em is a Mexican) and force them all to work (for free) on constructing his wall. So, in effect, Mexico will be paying for it.

Those illegal Mexican immigrants will be allowed to stay in the United States only as long as it takes them to build Trump's wall, after which they'll be deported to Mexico. (And since the wall will indeed be completed by then, we know they'll never be able to come back.) While they're living here, we'll house them for free, but we'll still consider them "boarders."

Therefore, the wall will be – say it with me – a “boarder wall.”

(And by the way, when I say “all of the illegal immigrants” I mean every able-bodied adult among them, male and female. Not their children, of course.

Which is a good thing, cuz they probably can't even find those poor kids at this point.)

1a. By the way, the second article I linked to above – "Your President Is a Dullard Who Confuses Homophones" – contains this great quote that I wish I had written myself: There’s nothing like seeing a great meme on Facebook or Twitter and being unwilling to share it because the person put “there” when they meant “their” or “your” when they meant “you’re” or “hear” when they meant “here” or some such nonsense. It is a frustrating daily occurrence on the internet, and even the “president” of the United States is not immune from it.

Oh, and I didn't call the article “great” just because it included a sentence I might have said.

1b. When I tried, once again, to find the article I just quoted from, I threw the terms "Donald Trump," "Boarder Wall," and "confused homophones" into the search box... and I learned that a disturbingly large amount of articles online use the word "homophone" to talk about people who don't like gays. Really? Seriously? I would have thought that anyone even familiar with the word "homophone" would be above making that sort of mistake. I guess not.

2. So, President Trump is talking about bringing the troops back from Syria, and maybe Afghanistan, and Lord knows where else by the time this article posts. And I know the real reason why. He's going to station every damned one of 'em in a huge circle around the White House, so when the FBI or whoever finally come to "get him," he'll be protected.

3. Tens of thousands of federal inmates will be released, according to this source and many others. And President Trump is evidently all for it.

Isn't this the guy who was so worried about all those Mexican criminals? Oh, wait. These are going to be "low-level" inmates, the type of criminal in minimum security prisons, or so-called "country club" prisons.

You know... the kinds of prisons guys like Donald Trump end up in.

4. Recently, NBC was accused of dispensing "Fake News" because they printed an article about the president which evidently was true when they printed it, but was rendered untrue by President Trump's actions only a few hours later. The situation is analyzed here.

I'm so sick of people -- especially DJT -- talking about "Fake News." The Prez seems to throw that term at anyone who doesn't think he's as wonderful as... well.. as he thinks he is.

In my tribute post to Bill Dana on June 21, 2017, I wrote:

At my flea market stand, one of the items I have for sale is the album pictured below, José Jimenez in Orbit (Bill Dana on Earth). Just last Sunday, my display of this LP prompted not one, but two conversations about Bill Dana. One was with a gentleman who assumed that Mr. Dana was dead, but I promptly corrected him, informing him that the comedian, now ninety-two, was still alive. And as far as I knew, I was right; the news outlets had yet to report that Bill Dana had died on Thursday, the 15th.

Was I lying? No, of course not.

To me, there's a big difference between lying and making a mistake. Even the news media shouldn't always be expected to get their stories straight. People make mistakes, even when they have the best of intentions.

And intent is what's at the heart of situations like these. If you ask a three-year-old "What's two and two?" and he says "Nine," is he lying? No. And if you ask him "What's six divided by three?" and he replies "Thursday?", again, is he lying?

I never received a test after it had been graded by a teacher where the teacher had written "Three wrong, David. You LIED THREE TIMES!"

That's not how it works.

The President, on the other hand? Lies constantly. Several times every day. Several times every day. There are websites devoted to counting all of his deliberate falsehoods. Their lists are staggering. And they only list the ones they know about.

It's like the old joke, "How do you know when a lawyer is lying?" "His lips are moving." The same could be said about Donald Trump.

5. I'm far from the only person to see a resemblance between Stephen Miller and Josef Goebbels. (Do a Google search, and you'll see.)

But they don't really resemble each other all that much.

It's not their looks I'm comparing, though. It's their general attitude, especially where immigrants are concerned, and where the power of the president is concerned as well. You'd never guess that Miller is descended from Jewish immigrants, would you? Well, read this article... written by his own uncle.

6. Okay, now you know why I so rarely do political posts.

7. And I promise I'll try to get better about following your posts, and soon!

8. And... Happy New Year!

Thanks for your time.

P.S. ~~ COMING SOON! (Watch for it!) A Re-Posting of One of the Best (and Longest) Stories I Ever Posted on This Blog!

Some REALLY "Short Shorts"

This is to make up for my extremely lengthy previous post!

1. I wonder if there's a gym specifically for bondage freaks that's called "Fit to Be Tied?" (And yes, I did a Google image search to find photos to illustrate this one... but do you really want to see them?!?)

*  *  *  *  *

2. I'm beginning to think that Donald Trump won't believe anything that doesn't come from his own lips.

*  *  *  *  *

I know, I know, this photo of Roy Moore is totally innocent, but I still couldn't resist using it here!

3. Of course Roy Moore is anti-abortion. He wants to save those fetuses, so in ten to twelve years, he can date them!

Thanks for your time.

Who [Reads] Short Shorts?

1. Equal Time for Mel Gibson?

Mel Gibson has been insulted by a lot of people over the last few years, myself included. And hey, has it really been over ten years since Mel's initial racist ramblings made the news? (Yep, it has been!)

I was reading an article about Liam Neeson the other day, and I learned that although the main role in Schindler's List was eventually played by Neeson, other actors who'd been interested in playing the part were Warren Beatty, Kevin Costner, and... Mel Gibson.

Mel-freakin'-Gibson? This is the dude who said “Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” innit?

Well, Mr. G blames his drinking problem for the words that came out of his mouth. And he did offer an apology to the Jewish people at the time, and roughly a year ago, in an interview with Variety, Mel said "Surely if I was really what they say I was, some kind of hater, there’d be evidence of actions somewhere. There never has been.”

In addition, there's this article, from earlier this year, which says that Gibson has been donating money to Holocaust survivors via  the Survivor Mitzvah Project.

So, what do you think? Has he paid his penance, as it were, or should we still consider him a bigoted s**thead whose Hollywood projects should be shunned?

*  *  *  *  *

2. Seen on a Sign Outside of a Laundromat

"If a man says he'll fix something, he will. There's no need to remind him about it every six months."

*  *  *  *  *

3. Every. Single. Time.

Remember what I said about Twitter not long ago? Well, the following is from a recent article on the Fox News site about Stephen King's little "war" with Donald Trump:

"Donald Trump blocked me on Twitter. I am hereby blocking him from seeing "It" or "Mr. Mercedes." No clowns for you, Donald. Go float yourself," King wrote.

 Follow

Stephen King 

✔@StephenKing

Donald Trump blocked me on Twitter. I am hereby blocking him from seeing IT or MR. MERCEDES. No clowns for you, Donald. Go float yourself.

9:55 PM - Aug 24, 2017

•  10,57110,571 Replies
 
•  154,159154,159 Retweets
 
•  483,358483,358 likes

Twitter Ads info and privacy

The film about children facing an evil clown opens in September.

See? I toldja! They repeat the tweet in its entirety, right after quoting it!

*  *  *  *  *

4. Trump's North Korea Quote?

Speaking of Trump...

Recently, newspapers in America and all over the world were reporting that President Donald Trump had released a message after North Korea fired a ballistic missile over Japan, saying "The world has received North Korea’s latest message loud and clear: this regime has signaled its contempt for its neighbors, for all members of the United Nations, and for minimum standards of acceptable international behavior." This was the statement released by the White House, which went on to say that "Threatening and destabilizing actions only increase the North Korean regime’s isolation in the region and among all nations of the world. All options are on the table."

Yeah, well, somebody at the White House wrote and released that message, that's for sure, but that is not the way President Trump speaks. Trump's statements are usually full of redundancies, and devoid of anything suggesting that the man has an extensive vocabulary. And whatever he is in favor of is usually "wonderful" or "terrific."

For example, not long ago, Trump said this about Kim Jong-un: “I respect the fact that I believe he is starting to respect us. I respect that fact very much.”

Trump to Ben Carson about the name "Harvey": "Sounds like such an innocent name, Ben, right? But it's not innocent. It's not innocent."

And talking about the clean-up during and after Harvey, he said “We won’t say congratulations. We don’t wanna congratulate. We’ll congratulate each other when it’s all finished, but you have been terrific.”

*sigh*

*  *  *  *  *

5. So, What Are They Saying?

I was in a department store a couple of weeks ago and saw a man wearing a shirt that looked a lot like this:

There's a lot of talk here in the USA lately, debating the issue of whether or not depictions of the Confederate flag or items related to the Confederacy are only supported by racists. I must admit that my sentiments are kind of torn. I absolutely despise racism in all its forms, but on the other hand, I really, really want to believe in the sincerity of those proud Southerners who claim that the rebel flag stands for "heritage, not hatred."

And yet... and yet...

I see someone walking around wearing a shirt like that, or displaying the Confederate flag, and I have to wonder if he or she is a bigot...

Especially when shirts like the one shown above are being worn by someone in my home state of Massachusetts, as the one I saw the other day was.

*  *  *  *  *

6.  A New Direction?

A few months ago I said that I was debating ending this blog. Well, I've finally been getting lots of ideas for it, so it definitely won't be discontinued anytime soon.

Having said that, I may be slightly changing my blog's focus. It seems that most -- but certainly not all -- of my current crop of readers are close to my own age (I'll turn sixty-one next November, believe it or not!), plus or minus a handful of years. So in recognition of that fact, I'll probably be gearing more posts toward people in their fifties and sixties. Different things I grew up with and the like. You'll see. It's just a minor transition, the kind of thing I've seen happen to other blogs. (For example, my friend Betsy's blog, My Five Men, used to contain quite a few acrostic poems for her weekly entries to the gone-but-not-forgotten "Theme Thursday" posts. Now it's eight or nine years later, and she showcases a lot of her own photos, reflecting the fact that she's become quite a good photographer.)

*  *  *  *  *

7. A Grammar Nazi Tid-Bit

By the way, folks, the word is "intact," not "in tact." One word, got it? Unfortunately, I know of a blog written by a successful pro sitcom writer who does that. He also refers to the '50s as the 50's. Maybe it doesn't matter as much if your audience is hearing your words and not reading them?

*  *  *  *  *

Thanks for your time!

Late to the Party

So, here I was, sitting at the computer on October 1st, wondering what I could post about.

Then I thought, what's bright and orange, and foremost in everyone's thoughts this time of year?

You guessed it...

Donald Trump's hair.

So, I wondered, has anyone else gotten the idea of making a jack o'lantern that looks like Donald Trump? And while I was typing "Trump" and "pumpkin" into the search bar, I thought "...and wouldn't it be funny to call it a Trumpkin?"

Well, great minds think alike. There were several "Trumpkins" found by doing a Google image search for "Trump" and "pumpkin," and some even used that same name.

Here are only some of the examples. Whether you're for the guy or against him, I hope you enjoy the photos.

Thanks for your time, and don't forget to vote!

For Those Who Want an Escape Route...

 



I almost never discuss anything political on this blog, but this item was too good to pass up!

 

It seems like every presidential election year, for the past few elections anyway, there are people who promise to leave the country if So-and-So is elected president. (Lord only knows how many follow through with that promise, if any.) More often than not, their new country of choice is Canada.

 

Well, there's a new dating website called Maple Match -- which hasn't launched yet -- that wants to make it easier for Americans running from the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency to hook up with a significant other from Canada!

 

Playing off of Trump's campaign slogan, "Make America great again," Maple Match's slogan is "Make dating great again." Maple Match CEO Joe Goldman advertises that the site will "[make] it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency.” And yes, he says he's serious.

 

Whether you support Trump's bid for the presidency or not, you've gotta admit, this is priceless.

 

It'll also probably be all over the internet by the time this post sees the light of day, but... Oh, well.

 

Thanks for your time.