been thinking...

Well thank you for all your helpful suggestions!
Thanks to your great ideas, I have a few more places to look, and a few more breeds to add to the list!
After looking more into the Cane Corso, I decided I think we'll cross that one off the list.
Still a great personality, but too many negatives on our "wants" list I guess.
And we've added Boxer, American bulldog and maybe a German Shepherd to the mix.
We'll see how that goes in broadening our search.
I think it'd be great to get one from a humane society...but in most cases, they are actually more expensive than finding one from a family!
Crazy.
And those home visits still get me.
Maybe if I promise to send pictures they'll back off?!
I doubt it!

So, with my new search, I've hit Craigslist and the humane societies a little more.
And in the process have tried to be scammed over 5 times and stumbled upon a puppy mill...I think.
It people are trying to be sneaky, they should try harder in some cases.
The add for the one I thought was a puppy mill said one day,
"5 sweet rottweiler puppies for sale..."
When I talked to her about getting one, she emailed back that they were gone.
Then I checked it the next day and it said the mom was pregnant again so check back in 8 weeks.
She didn't even try to say it was a different dog!
Hmmm....suspicious I tell ya.

So, besides puppies, I have been thinking about a few other things.
Just a little.
Like how to get my kids to stay in their bed at night without sneaking out like I don't notice.
How to find the perfect diaper to keep all the crazy runny poop contained once in a while.
There's gotta be one, right?
How to gently and consistently contain the crazy emotions of a 5 year old girl.
Is there a diaper for that by chance?!
Picking out bathroom tubs, faucets, and toilets.
Picking out the perfect new bike for my favorite little 3 year old.
And thinking about how long it takes to do absolutely everything with three kids.
I'm pretty sure it takes about 5 times longer to do anything.
I've decided there needs to be "parent's with small children" parking spaces right next to the handicapped spaces.
Don't you think that's a good idea?!
BabiesRus has them for expecting mothers...thank you!!
I've decided once you've had one...you can be considered expecting on a regular basis.
Sometimes when I pick Ellie up from AWANA, I park in the handicapped spot.
There's 2 spots, so I feel like I'm not taking it over.
And most of the time I feel a little handicapped.
So that's my excuse if I ever get in trouble for it.
I'd really like Walmart to look into getting "parent's with small children" spaces.
Are you reading this Walmart?
Please!!!
It's for your most avid shopper.
Oohhh...and Target.
That would be nice.
I'll let you guys figure out what the cut off age of a small child is though.
I'd say about 13 if you're wanting my opinion.

That's what I've been thinking about.
I know...deep.
But I bet it's gonna bug you the next time you go shopping.
You'll be looking for a "parent's with small children" space.
Good luck!

{awesome pictures that have nothing to do with what I wrote provided by the good ol' instagram!}

seriously???!!!

So...I know it's just life, and I did just get done writing a lovely post all about choosing JOY.
Well...JOY decided to visit someone else's house today.
I'll get around to choosing joy in a couple hours.
But right now, I'm just mad...grumpy...overwhelmed.

Everybody has those days.
Mine is happening.
As. We. Speak.
Aren't you glad you get to be a part of it?!

Ellie jumped out of bed at a whopping 6:00 this morning.
She was LOUD.
She woke up my sweet sleeping baby before wailing her way to the kitchen for breakfast.
Tripp woke up...but was pleasantly happy for a change.
That was nice.
They ate their cereal in a record time of 5 seconds.
Leaving me about 5 seconds to get some extra rest in bed.
Baby was hungry early because of said loud sister.
Fed baby...put baby back down to sleep.
Started folding clothes slowly in bed while the kids fight in the kitchen over beads for making necklaces.
Tried to watch tv, but it's so windy outside that none of our 4 channels comes in for more than a few seconds at a time.
Doors are getting slammed, which leads to Ellie's arm getting pinched in the door.
A talk about shutting doors being off limits in addressed...again.
Time outs, more fights, more yelling...does it ever stop?
Tripp comes in with a box of cocoa....and lets me know half of it spilled on the floor...but don't worry, he wiped it up with a towel.
Went out to survey mess and found out...our vacuum cleaner sucks at sucking.
On the plus side, it smells like chocolate in the house.
On the down side, I want chocolate now and there's a huge brown smeared mess all over the carpet.
I don't really care...we're moving.
While getting the vacuum out, I step on one of Ellie's multiple brownie pins she's collected.
I get mad, yell that she should keep track of them better so people don't get hurt, throw it away in frustration, and send a wailing child outside.
Tripp asks if it's lunch time yet. (It's 8:30 in the morning!)
When I say no, he decides to sneak a cupcake instead.
He gets in trouble and I send another wailing, starving child outside.
I get the baby up, since he's been watching all the wailing from his little bed in the middle of the living room.
Feed him a little, change his diaper.
Go get more clothes to fold.
Load all of Tripp's sheets and comforter and blankets in the washer because he pottied in bed...again.
Head back to my room to fold clothes. 
Stare at my baby who just farted for an unbelievable amount of time and make a mental note to check his diaper in a few minutes...
Right after I change the kids clothes...'cause they just came in yelling they have poopy water on them.
I don't even know what that means.
Get everything in order once again...send kids outside again...lock the door so they can't come in...for just a second.
Silently scream in my head while holding my breath...kind of the same effect as screaming into a pillow, but without having to explain to the kids why the heck you just did that.
Sit back down to finish folding clothes.
Check baby, realize he's leaked poop all over my duvet cover and white sheets.
More laundry headed to the washer.
Baby needs a bath.
I need a break, but I don't think that's on the agenda today.
An early naptime is though.
That'll bring a little joy back :)
I know...just normal daily mommy stuff.
But some days it hits a little harder, you're a little more tired than usual, and you wonder what in the world is going on!
It's only 10:00 though, so hopefully the day will start going uphill.
Hope you have a happy wednesday!
But if not, don't worry.
It happens.

Joy and Bubbles

Right now, the house is an absolute disaster.
I'm a neat person.
I function best in order.
I am out of order.
In all parts of my life at the moment.
My brain is feeling stretched in many different ways and I'm not feeling like I'm accomplishing much of anything on the list in my head.
But, despite my overwhelmed busyness, my heart is full of joy!
Does that sound cheesy?!
I hope not.
I'm usually more of a person that tends to get freaked out, overwhelmed, and exasperated when things don't go as planned.
But I've been praying that I would just calm down.
Almost nothing I ever blow up over is ever worth half the energy I give it.
SO...I'm choosing JOY.
But it's always extra nice when you actually feel joy...not just choose it.
Is that what happens when you practice choosing it?
It becomes easier to see things God's way and less your old "freaking out" way?
Well, that's what I've decided and am hoping at least!

I can very easily focus on the fact that at this very moment, I am haphazardly typing around half-eaten fruit loops and crunching half of them whenever I move the wheels on my computer chair.
I could focus on the HUGE mess that is my house.
I could be SO tired of the very long hours Matt has been working for the past 3 weeks.
I could be overwhelmed with my tired, whiny kids who need very long naps, but instead get up 2 hours early.
I think I could go on for quite a while.
But instead, I'm grateful we had enough cereal for the kids to eat this morning...so I could go back to bed and get some rest.
I'm grateful that I have a house...and enough belongings to get it dirty in the blink of an eye. 
I'm grateful for my husband...who loves his family so much, who works hard to provide for us no matter what.
I'm grateful for 3 kids to love and cherish.
And I'm so very grateful for this precious little 5-year-old girl who just learned how to blow bubbles.
She's been such a help to me.
She's full of joy.
It just bounces right out of her from the minute she wakes up.
I have a lot to learn for her.

spring break

We've been on spring break over here.
I was all ready for a relaxing week.
I was so excited to have Matt be able to work without any interruptions for a whole week.
That rarely happens.
And he's long overdo for some time just to do his own thing.
The week hasn't gone as planned at all.
It's been a bummer.
I don't think either of us (especially Matt) has felt like we've had a break since the "break" started.
Every single person has had an appointment of some kind each day.
Cars have broken down....which means a ton of unexpected bills.
Hours and hours spent on finding documents for different people.
Switching bank stuff...always a slight hassle.
Some coughs and yucky feeling kids.
Tired, whiny kids.
LOTS of rain which equals antsy, whiny kids.

I don't think Matt has been able to spend more than 3 hours a day working.
Poo.
I hate when things just don't go the way you've planned.
And there's absolutely nothing in your control to fix it.
It just happens.
I think it's called life.
Agendas are nice, but life happens and they go out the window.
That's really hard for control freaks like me to handle!
And it makes me feel bad when I can't help Matt at all with all the things that keep piling up for him to do.
So I try to keep the homefront somewhat organized.
Which means I made the bed.
It's pretty awesome.
I'm sure he noticed and just loved it :)

So I haven't taken many pictures.
I've been dreaming of painting new walls, redoing bathrooms, and getting a white couch.
If pinterest were my home, I would be one clean, tidy, happy momma.
Can people realistically have white furniture with three kids?
I just can't decide.
It might just have to stay in pinterest land until I'm 50.
Oh well.

So, the finale of our week is a little haphazard.
I've done half the laundry.
Slight accomplishment.
I have a sneaky kid who's on the couch and thinks I don't know it.
But he's being quiet, so I'm pretending I don't know it.
Nice parenting, I know.
The other one is wailing in her bed because I won't give her a drink...
because she jumped on her brother's head.
In her defense, he told her to. (is what she said)
"Nobody loves me" is her main cry.
It's getting louder.
I do love her.
But I'm not giving her a drink.
She'll make it.
I promise.

After I deal with the wailing child who's about to lose her voice over a drink,
I'm going to settle down to some hulu goodness with some yummy dinner.
Check on our chickens...the highlight of our week :)
And go to bed.

I hope your week was fun!
If not, that's ok.
It's just life.
There's always next spring break.
Or maybe just do a do-over and have a better week starting Monday.
That's my plan.

Just in case your day was a little stinky, here's something that might help.

Did it help?
That, my friends, is a little easter egg chicken that's only a few hours old.
They lay teal eggs.
We have three.
Plus 17 other different kinds.
They're hiding in our garage.
And we've turned into really big nerds and are knowledgeable on all things chicken now.
Who wouldn't be when they're this cute?!

Now I'm off to console the wailing child and get my hulu on.
Oh happy day :)

a break

by the end of the day, I am fried.
it's almost too hard to even use facial expressions.
is that acceptable?
at the same time as my whole self would love to fall into bed and not answer another single question from anyone or clean another dish...even a little teeny tiny one,
i know our family is getting back in the groove of things.
and as exhausting as it feels in my head, I think being tired right now might just be my norm for the next 5 years.
i think i might get used to it.
and then when that time comes when they're all in school and I have a whole 8 hours with no kids in the house...I'll nostalgically think back to the sweet times of 3 kiddos at home.

so I'm trying to soak it in.
but i do love a good break now and then.
so thank you dear hubby for taking my dear loud children to the basketball game tonight.
{don't worry...I actually thanked him in person too}
tonight, I am not:
answering any questions
cooking
cleaning my 3 year old's poopy pants
doing dishes
or doing any laundry
but I am:
eating chocolate
soaking up some technology time...computer, iphone, and tv.
definitely not necessary, but quite fun.
folding some clothes {which isn't laundry}
and hanging out with my littlest man
who seems to sleep 100 times better in my bed.
i think he may need his own queen size bed instead of a crib.

it is nice to have a lovely little unexpected break once in a while.

Webb {3 weeks}

Time sure flies when you're having fun...and you're extremely exhausted!
We've had a few rough days and nights in a row lately.
Which makes for very exhausted parents.
And it can make me have a hard time being able to enjoy those precious moments...
The ones when you have a few extra minutes to just stare at your new baby and all his little features.
The moments when you realize your sassy daughter actually said "ok, mom" and listened instead of made a sassy face ending in a rude remark and then a time out in her room for half the day.
The moments when you finally get your "big" little boy to sleep for nap time.
...well that last one hasn't happened in eons, but I can dream.

3 weeks has gone by and we're surviving.
People kept saying the transition from 1 to 2 kids was the hardest for them.
That transition for me seemed somewhat easy, so I was actually banking on the 2 to 3 transition to be a slight breeze.
Now...I was sadly very wrong.
And I'm lowering my expectations for my days.
Schedules are still in tact for the big kids...the easy ones like keeping breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack times, and bedtimes the same.
What the heck we do in between is a little rough.
I've decided the house really can't be tidy right now.
Instead, I pat myself on the back for getting the laundry done...
with a new little pile which makes me smile every time I add to it.
I really enjoy folding clothes and putting them in neat piles.
It's like shopping without the hassle...and it might just be my last sense of control left!
And who said you actually have to put the dirty dishes away when you empty the dishwasher?
I just like looking at the clean ones put away neatly anyway.
We just start using paper plates when we run out of clean ones.

3 weeks later I don't feel like I have things under control yet.
The big kids are definitely seeing where their new position is and what they can get away with.
That's draining.
The littlest one has learned to sleep with one eye open for fear of being bombarded by a loving snuggle.
That keeps me on my toes at all times.
And all three kids have decided sleeping is optional at night.
Tripp's been going to bed WAY too late and getting up at 5:30.
That makes him just plain awful during the day.

3 weeks later I obviously still have a ways to go with this "smooth" transition.
But it's honestly very reassuring to know it's somewhat normal and this is still exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I am the proud, tired mommy to two crazy, obnoxious, wild kids and one little 3 week old baby that we're still getting to know.
Our fingers are crossed for a calm, collected, non-wild child...where's the fun in that, you say?!
The chances are slightly slim...he's bound to learn quite a lot from his big sis and brother even if it doesn't come naturally!
But even though it's tough and I think I might have had more rough days than good days so far, I wouldn't change being these three little kiddos mommy for anything.
That's good to remember...and keeps those special moments all the more precious.
I just might have to start writing them down though...they seem to be getting a little sparse in my head.

momma's bringin' sexy back

Yup.
You read it right. 
I'm bringing sexy back.
You weren't aware?
Well, that's why I thought I'd tell you.
Sexy can be very sneaky sometimes.
I didn't want to catch you off guard with it next time I see you.


You're intrigued?
Or perhaps confused.
You saw me recently and didn't notice a difference?
It's ok...I told you sexy can be very sneaky.
So, if you're wanting a new, slightly more sexy look...go no further.

Just read on...

This pregnancy has not exactly been kind to me.
Not that I expected to go uphill in the looks department, but really...
Are glasses and supportive undergarments something any 24 year old is supposed to look forward to?
The answer is NO!!!
I'm not sure I'm even supposed to be needing this supportive of a bra at my age...much less anything else supportive.
But I'm finding myself wearing both.
I don't even want to know what I'll be wearing when I hit 25.
I'll be the weirdo in the depends isle at walmart.
Oh goodness...please don't stop to say hi.
I'll be hiding from you pretending to get bandaides or something, I can promise you that.
{Thankfully I haven't quite gotten to that point yet!}

I've known for a while that I couldn't see as far as I probably should be seeing.
It was getting really hard to see when I was driving.
You know...things like road signs, when to turn...quite important actually!
I kept slowing down and thinking roads were places there was no road at all to turn into.
I was one of "THOSE" drivers!
Oh my.
So technically, the glasses have nothing to do with the baby, but we're going to say it does.
I do like seeing people now...and words and roads.
Who knew all that was out there.

The supportive undergarments?
We're not even going to go there.
Thankfully, I get to throw them away in about 3 months and hopefully never meet the weirdo contraption again.
And I hopefully won't have to mention anything supportive again until I'm at least 70, right?

So, moral of the story?
Having babies is probably not the best option for trying to look sexier.
Maybe go for plastic surgery.
Or that new fangled thing called exercise.
I'm afraid I might actually have to take up some form of exercise after this.
Oh dear.

But afterwards....when your memory of the last nine months has faded and you've thrown away all your supportive undergarments and zantac, you'll realize it's worth it. 
You'll wonder why their squishiness, wrinkles, and baby zits are so scrumptiously cute, and yours just don't seem to have the same effect.
I don't know why that is, but it's true.

And I've come to the realization that I should start taking family pictures for the goal of capturing us as a family with those lovely little kiddos as the focal point.
And a little less in hoping the picture will miraculously make me look like one sexy momma! 
I might be going slightly downhill {yet very supported} but seeing those silly kiddos is why it matters.
And plus...now's when I start saying things about getting wiser with old age right?
I'm going to be a very, very, very wise old lady!

And I have these little munchkins to thank for it all.
Every little stretch mark, every little gray hair, every little memory made, every little laugh, every little smile and every little cuddle and hug.
They are so very worth it.
I might not get my sexy back, but I'm getting wiser.
Maybe they should make a song about that.

Ellie

Little miss Ellie is FULL of life.
And FULL of imagination and questions and emotions.
I have prayed so very many times to understand her more fully.
To love her more deeply.
To be the momma I know she deserves.
And slowly, I can see God working in my heart.
It's incredibly exciting.
The things I have a hard time standing I am starting to see through new eyes of understanding.
Her emotional outbursts are something I try to channel into a new direction instead of smothering and controlling the situation.
And I am truly enjoying my little girl.
Which makes me start crying even just writing it.

She is silly
social
tenderhearted
an incredibly sweet big sister
very real
already loves Jesus with a deep passion
loyal
and so loving...never focusing on anyone's faults.
They're all things I knew, but now I am starting to appreciate so much more.
And it's nothing I can take credit for.
I know I could not have seen her the way I have been without going to Jesus to help me understand her the way he does.
{it's something I've always known and heard my parent's talk about, but am finally experiencing for myself}
Falling to my knees for Jesus' guidance is really the only place to be.

Here's a little story that she wrote with Mema after watching Tarzan for the first time a few weeks ago.
She was so proud of it and her retelling of Tarzan and all his friends.
It's been on our fridge for a while and has been mauled by little bro a few too many times.
I'd hate for it to get eaten before I get a chance to record it.
Ellie's been wanting me to "blog about it" for quite a while now :)

{The story of tarzan}
The elephant splashed in the water.
Jane splashed in the water and stayed with Tarzan.
Her dad splashed in and stayed with her.
The monkey hugged Tarzan when he was little.
Clayton tried to shoot Tarzan.
The mama elephant said "There are no piranhas!"
The baby said "there were piranhas."
The elephants yelled "PIRANHA!" when Tarzan pulled his tail.
When the monkeys were chasing Jane, she said to Tarzan "let me down, let me down!"
And then when the monkeys came back she yelled "pick me up, pick me up!"
The gorillas found the camp site and played and played, breaking everything while they make music.
When they comed back, they said "oh shoot! What a mess!"

Kerchif told Tarzan "I'll always be your dad and you'll always be my son."
Clayton killed Kerchif.
Clayton died when he tried to hurt Tarzan and fell out of the tree.
Turk and Tanzor are his friends. Turk and Tarzan taught Tanzor how to talk in wood and they sing and sing while he blew his horn.

When the mama gorilla brought Tarzan home, Turk said, "what is that?"
"It's a baby."
Turk said "it's a funny looking baby."
Kerchif said "you can't keep him."
The baby said "waaaa."
The mama kept him.
The mama and daddy's boat was on fire. The tiger bite the mommy and daddy.
The mama gorilla saved tarzan from the tiger.


There you have it.
Ellie's first documented story.
Does it make you want to watch Tarzan?!
She told it a little backwards, but pretty well I thought!
Way to go Ellie!

The country fair went fabulous today!
Thank you to all the wonderful friends and family who supported the Vogts.
We appreciate you so very much!

The kids had a lovely time.
I forgot my camera.
Big bummer.
But I took full advantage of Andrea's awesome skills and hopefully have a few new family pictures.
Major attitude from one little girl, but I think we'll keep her.
I know it's hard when face painting and bouncy houses are just around the corner.
I did threaten that unhappy children couldn't be in the picture, but she didn't believe me.
We even said we'd give her an apple if she smiled...I know...best bribe ever.
But they did have a blast with all the kids, games, candy, and the best train ride in the world!
And now they're exhausted, but for some reason refuse to sleep.
I on the other hand am having major pregnancy issues and might just fall into a coma even though they aren't asleep.
Walking can really make a person in my condition incredibly tired and sore.
Even my toes hurt. 

I'll leave you with this.
Slightly unrelated, but definitely something that needs to be shared.
I just saw it here and couldn't stop from giggling for quite a while.
Definitely how I feel most days.
Just add a bump in the front and I'm pretty sure they just snuck in my house and took my picture.

Run for my money

This babes is giving me a run for my money.
They all are actually.
Can you believe that?
These precious faces?
Being hard?

Well, believe it.
Combined with my amazing ability to be tired ALL the time, we've had more bad days than good.
Boo.

But when they are turned around, looking serenely at the lake, all your troubles melt like lemon drops and you say, "Oh...those are the sweetest little babies in the whole wide world and I could possibly gobble them up."
They are sweet, and they do try to be helpful, and they love so unconditionally no matter how ucky acting I can be.
They have definitely given me as much grace in parenting as I have given them for being ittle, bitty growing, learning, slightly disastrous goobers on a daily basis.

I am trying to figure out our fall schedule.
I always like the summer.
It feels like a big lazy vacation with no set plans.
And I'm always REALLY ready for fall.
School starts, schedules get made...it's always a good change.

And I am realizing that with a 4 and a half year old and a 2 and a half year old, we are entering a new stage.
It's no longer the baby/toddler stage.
Holy cow when did that happen?
Sometimes I wish kids had signs on their head that let you know what's about to happen for the next few weeks/months/years.
"Don't worry mom, I'm about to enter the 'take-my-diaper-off-and-smear-poop-everywhere-phase.' Not every kid goes through this, but I am. It's awesome, and I don't know why it took me so long to figure out. But have no fear, I'll only do it a couple times."
Or, "Hey! I just figured out I can talk back...and it's amazing! Who knew! I'll let you know how it goes..."

Ellie is 4 going on 16.
She is under the impression she is going to be able to drive pretty soon...maybe at 5 or 8.
She is saving her money to meet Free Willy and Bindi Irwin in Australia, and swim with whales in the ocean.
{Our backup plan is Sea World.}
I'm beginning to realize she has more of my personality than her daddy's.
Oh dear. I was totally banking on her daddy's.
Her daddy is a rule follower, logical, doesn't push, easy to discipline (say his parents...I don't really do that much disciplining of my husband!)
I like to have the last word....so does she.
She can't just say ok...neither can I.
She loves life and puts her whole emotion into every little thing she does...me too.
She's very emotional, not as logical, and loves relationships more than tasks...I'll take that.
She a rule bender and sees them more as optional advice...definitely me.
And she pushes, and pushes, and pushes. No is never really no....me.

*I must say I am learning, and am not nearly as bad as this sounds (I am older than Ellie after all)...but I do have to admit, this is more my natural tendency...just in a more grown up way*

So, as we begin to see more of these traits, it is SO difficult for me to know what to do.
Those traits that are incredibly hard to manage are the same traits that make her incredibly bubbly, fun, and real.
And, as the parent, it's so hard to see past the fact that that is exactly how you would respond, and then realize you have to figure out how to teach her to respond differently.
How do I break her will, without breaking her heart?
How do I explain that she can't do that when it's exactly how I would react, and in some cases, am still working on in my own life.
I can't believe some of the things I've told her....the ones your parent's told you and you thought you'd never use.
Well they happen to be true and helpful, so I use them and am thankful I was taught them.

She is sassy....facial expressions and words.
SO SASSY.
That's our main topic of conversation during time outs in her room.
We could probably go the whole day trying to have the last word and get each other to "break."
I know she is sticking her tongue out at me and making silent (sometimes not so silent) faces at me while in her room.
I've occasionally done the same thing out the kitchen window.
Very mature I know, but I've decided it's better than swearing a hundred times.
And, just like my mom has said over and over...
Usually when you're trying to teach your kids something, God is trying to teach you something just as important.
I kind of hate hearing that.
I wish God could just write it down for me, then I would organize it neatly, print it out in a lovely font, put it up in colorful paper on my wall to remember, and check it off my list.
I guess it doesn't work that way...God's way is much deeper and more fulfilling, and most of the time it's hard when you're going through it.
So, right now, life's just hard.
Hard to know if I'm parenting the right way, hard not to break down from absolutely retarded pregnancy hormones, hard to feel like I'm adequate for this job, and sometimes just hard to keep going.
It's nice to know at least someone will learn something through these hard parts.
And I'm so grateful for God's truths...for me to lean on, and to teach Ellie.
To become more like Jesus, to love him, and lean on him and his truths. 

What we've been up to {since baby}

I forgot how incredibly exhausting it is to be pregnant.
Did I actually feel this bad last time?
I can't even remember!
How can I be this big already?!
I'm just sure it must be twins.
And the excitement!
Oh how fun to have a little baby again...
I hope I don't forget it anywhere...how in the world do people manage three kids?
And where does it go when I'm getting groceries?

We are all SO excited about this new little baby!
We got to tell Ellie when I was about 7 weeks along.
We told her it was her job to tell our family.
{then we went through WHO was family...she did pretty good at keeping her secret!}
So over the next few days, we got to tell our surprise, via our incredibly excited daughter.
When I told her there was a baby in my tummy, she was so excited and then said,
"Oh, I get it, that's why your tummy looks like that."
How rude.
If she was any older I'd bop her.
Instead I giggled and told her that was because of already having babies and liking chocolate too much.
Poo on six packs. I guess I should have taken a picture...if I had only known.
I was that retarded pregnant lady that took her normal pants to the hospital with her thinking they would fit.

Ok...so now that we've established I no longer have a six pack thanks to Ellie, on with the story...
Ellie continued to blurt out to every family member about the baby in my tummy and could hardly contain her excitement.
She only slipped with a few people, and always asked politely {right in front of them} if she could tell about the you know what in your tummy.
Smooth, Ellie. Smooth.
But it was definitely the best, and most fun way to tell.
We love that she's so excited about her new sibling....preferably a sister.
We'll work on that.
Tripp is pretty clueless.
He acts excited and runs around kissing imaginary babies in his hand and sweetly asks me if "baby, tummy, hurt" when I lay in bed in the morning.
Talk about sweet little boys and feeling guilty.

I'm very grateful for Matt.
He's understanding, helps out when he can, and smiles sweetly when I try to sneak in the starburst bag I bought because I saw a commercial and couldn't think about anything else until I could eat some.
I get overly emotional and worry about EVERYTHING when I'm pregnant.
It's worse this time.
And I'm always so thankful for Matt when my crazy emotions start getting the better of me.
And that mostly end in sobbing. 
Before our appointment I was so nervous something was wrong that I couldn't even concentrate sometimes.
I would ask if he thought everything was ok still and he would say, "probably not. I'm sure it has a horn or something...or maybe it's half alien."
So helpful, I know.
But it would always make me step back and realize my worrying wasn't helping at all.
And now we know the baby is fine, and I will be working on going to the Lord with my worries...which happens to be a lot lately.

Our days have been quite irregular since the beginning of May.
I don't remember being this sick with Ellie or Tripp.
And I definitely have quite a few days of feeling guilty over not spending enough time with them.
Netflix has taken over their life.
I feel like I'm continually in slow motion.
So overwhelmed with simple house work...it never gets done and finished.
I do get overly excited about doing normal things like: blow drying my hair, putting actual clothes on {not pj's}, bathing the kids, folding the laundry...you know....the incredibly normal, you should be doing those things anyways, things.
And I'm always quick to tell Matt how clean that one little area is {I just have to shut my eyes when I walk into the other rooms}
I'm glad I know I'm not always this bad at my job.
I just have to keep reminding myself that...'cause I'm sure it's true. 
And I don't even want to talk about food.

So, that's my wordy version of what we've been up to.
With a few park pictures thrown in for your viewing pleasure.
I think I'll start giving you a weekly update on all things pregnancy...how I'm feeling, what I look like, how much I weigh, what I'm craving...
doesn't that sound fun?!
Just kidding...I have my hands full trying to remember which week I'm on!
But I will let you know when it "pops out" as Ellie says.
Oh...and if anyone really does know where to put that third baby in the grocery cart, please share.
Tripp's still in there.
I remember being overwhelmed with where to put Ellie, but really, come on...it's the seat right in front of your face...just breath new parent...just breath.
But I think three kids if fair to freak out about.
Tripp steps on all the food when I put him in the big section...on purpose.
I'm probably known as that crazy lady that puts the squished bread back.

Real Life

Have you ever seen the movie
Marley and Me?
It's a couple years old.
I watched it when it first came out.
I'm not really a huge animal person, but I still managed to cry.
So I bought it last year on black friday.
I'm kind of a movie hoarder on black friday.
Who wouldn't be when you can get a million movies for $3!
Ellie and Tripp found it yesterday in the grown up movie drawer and wanted to watch it.
We have a special drawer for all of their kid movies so they don't open ours and scratch them.
But sometimes they sneak in the other drawer and try to convince me "Die Hard" was really in their section.
Right...
But Marley and Me is a sweet movie, so I let them watch it.
And I watched it with them.
And cried again.
I love how it's actually real life.
Their house is messy!
She actually looks slightly squishy after just having a baby.
Neato.
She cries and is exhausted being home with her children.
But she wouldn't want to do anything else and miss that time.
They fight. About changing diapers, money, jobs, babies, schedules, and crazy dogs.
They are devoted to each other.
It's real.
It's funny.
It's messy.
It's learning to love where you're at, the stage you're in, and not always looking for something bigger and better...what your life and dreams were for yourself compared to where you are now.
To realize it's so much better.
Yes, the dog is a huge silly part of the whole story, but in one part, they realize they'd have the same problems, the same issues, even if they got rid of Marley.
Which is good to know.
'Cause I can relate to the entire story and we don't even have a dog.
You give up things, you have really hard, crazy days and feel like your world is kind of crashing down.
And then you look back and realize you learned so much and it's perfect the way it is.
It's life.
We're still in the hard, screaming babies, having babies, messy house, planning our future, diaper changing part of life.
It seems long, and tiring, and sleepless, and unknown and slightly endless.
It reassuring to see a movie that has all that in it.
And to see life after that part.
All squished in to 2 lovely hours.
So if real life is leaving you a little exhausted, cuddle up with your munchkins and watch a movie about real life.
It'll make you feel better.
And maybe even want to get a dog...preferably not as crazy as Marley.
It's extraordinary...this thing called life.

high maintenance tummy...

Are you ready for yet another way of manipulation?
Or maybe just an odd little friendship of some sorts?

When you think of things your kids will do when they get older, this one never came to mind.
It makes me laugh every time,
and then get a little flustered trying to "talk" to something that doesn't talk back...
well, it does say a lot via Ellie's mouth.

So, without further ado, meet Ellie's tummy.

I guess I don't have any nakey pictures of her tummy.
So you'll have to settle for her chubby 2-year-old cuteness.

Anyways...her tummy...it has a mind of it's own.
A very iratic eating schedule.
It's quite lazy and doesn't enjoy cleaning.
But is also very alert and doesn't ever need naps...not even quiet times.
It has a very confused outlook on time and schedules as well.

Do you want to know some of the things it says?
Don't be surprised if your kids start having phantom body parts talk to you.
You've been warned.

Any time Ellie has a problem with something, her tummy comes to the rescue to argue her point.
Her tummy should be a lawyer.
~~~~~
{She's addicted to cough drops like nobody's business.}
"My tummy said it is sick. It needs a cough drop."
~~~~~
{Whining Ellie wanting dinner when it's not ready yet....
30 minutes later when we get ready to eat and she sees what we're eating...}
"My tummy says it's not hungry anymore. That's weird!"
OR
"My tummy says it really wants a corn dog tonight instead."
~~~~~
{Getting ready for nap time}
"Mom I can't go to sleep. My tummy just isn't tired."
~~~~~
"Mom, when is snack time?"
I'll set the timer. It's about 45 more minutes.
"How long is that? Like this long?" {she puts her hands a part to "measure" time}
"MOM! My tummy just doesn't know how long that is! I need something NOW!"
~~~~~
{Anytime we're getting ready to clean}
"Mom, I really can't help you clean right now. My tummy needs a break."
~~~~~
Her tummy also likes: swinging "really high!" Going to the post office for suckers, doesn't like littering, and loves God.
What a good tummy.
I bet you wish you had one of your own talking tummies.
They are very rare.
I hope you have the chance to encounter one someday.

diary of a tired mom of two kids that whine and get up early.

Do your children sleep in?
Do they say "yes mommy." and do what they are told without whining?
Mine do not.
Sigh.
If you are wondering why your children don't do these great things like whining and getting up early, you can bring them over and Ellie and Tripp can show them the ropes.
They are pros.

When Matt left for work this morning, he stared at them both and said,
"No whining and No talking back."
That about sums it up.
Then he told them he really likes me and he doesn't want to see them hurt me.
That's sweet.
And they sweetly said, "Ok daddy."
They obey him better.
I've decided it's because he can spank harder and he's not here as much.
I'm sure that's it.

If by chance you do have a whiner, I have a suggestion for you.
If you have a kid that gets up early, I do not have a suggestion for you.
You need to give me suggestions.
I can't do mornings.
Don't be mean and say get over it.
I've tried.
It's just not my shining moment.
We put them to bed at 7:00, so I can't really put them to bed any earlier.
And they get up earlier the later I put them to bed.
Weird.

So...back to the whining.
The Bible study I am in is magic.
Betsy Corning has the best advice and one liners to say exactly what you mean and get the job done.
That's how I role.
In my head at least.
So, when you have a whiny kid...in any situation, that won't stop nagging or talking back, you simply say,
"No means no."
And you teach them to say,
"Ok, mom."
Neat huh!
If you say yes, (which I tend to not say as much), you teach them that your yes means yes.
Having your yes be yes means you can't just flippantly say yes to things.
You have to remember you said yes and follow through.
They catch on when you don't follow through and learn to second guess your answers.
We've been practicing for quite a while.
It works.
When it doesn't, it's because I'm so tired and feel very rundown with their constant questions and nagging.
I have a daughter that loves the last word.
I love the last word.
That doesn't mesh.
So, you have to say no means no very calmly.
It doesn't work if you scream it and stomp out of the room.
Nope. Not at all.
Shocking isn't it.

And don't forget to make them learn to say,
"ok, mom."
That's key too.
To know they acknowledge what you said and have listened and obeyed.
When you learn to do this, Ms. Betsy says it helps a lot when they are older.
They learn to trust your answer without you as the parent having to explain exactly why you came to the yes/no conclusion.
When they ask to spend the night at someones house and you say no, guess what they say.
"ok, mom!"
In front of people!
Wow.
She said it works.
I'd like to meet her kids, but still, it has to work at least sometimes with the average kid too.
So.
That's what we've been practicing over here at the beverlin household.

We just learned about rebellion last Tuesday.
awesome.
yikes.
I'm still a little speechless.
And I'm glad I'm not there yet.

So, there's your parenting advice for the day.
Try it.
I promise it'll help.
And if you already knew this.
I'm not sure why you didn't tell me sooner.

 "Let your yes be yes, your no be no." Matthew 5:37

*And thanks for all the comments on my last post! Sometimes I wonder if other moms get this tired and overwhelmed or if it's just me. So I'm glad you can understand!...and at least someone thinks the eggs are funny!* 

diary of a tired mom of two

I was looking through pictures today and noticed all I have in the folder for "Tripp 2011" is a little of 

This...

 And a little of this...

I'm sure he does cute sweet things, I must just have them in a different folder.

That's a whole dozen there.
Do you know how long it takes to clean up eggs?
I bet you do if you have 2 kids.
The only thing that kept me from melting down was thinking over and over different ways I could blog about this event.
So, you think this is funny?
I don't yet.
It just makes me tired.
I'm tired today too.
It's more of an emotional tired than a physical egg mess tired.

We're learning about manipulation in Bible Study.
Ellie is PMSing.
Can you do that at 4?
I guess she's just practicing.
She's been manipulating the poo out of me.
Everything is a huge ordeal and very whine worthy.
And her latest method is saying she's going to throw up if she has to do anything.
"Ellie, you need to clean your room."
"I can't! I'm going to throw up!"
She even threatens us...
"Ellie you need to have a quiet time in you room now."
"If you make me stay in here, I'll throw up twice."

Oh brother.

So today, after finding out she couldn't go to Mimi's house, she ran to her room screaming,
"I'm not your daughter anymore!"
And slammed the door.
Hmmm....PMS?
I know I have to deal with it.
It's just very new.
I don't get hurt by what she says, just mad.
Which is not good when I'm trying to calmly tell her she can't talk to me that way.
Thankfully Bible study is tomorrow.
Hopefully Ms. Betsy Corning has some awesome ideas for lovely attitude problems.

And here's some pictures from Tripp's 2010 folder.
Obviously not much has changed.
He still gets himself stuck in boxes...

And makes messes sneaking stuff from the kitchen.
At least he didn't eat any of the eggs.
Silver lining?

As I was thinking about how tiring it is having 2 kids,
I realized people with 3 kids are probably laughing at me and thinking..."Just you wait!"
Looking back at just having Ellie seems like a breeze.
In the moment, I thought it was just as difficult.
But then I had 2.
And believe me, it's not.
So, instead of kidding myself and think 2 is the hardest thing in the world,
I've decided to just change the title when I do have 3.
It will say, "diary of a tired mom of three."
It will be tiring.
I will cry.
And wonder why the heck they continuously think threatening to throw up might work, or throwing a dozen eggs all over the kitchen is awesome.
And I'll wonder why I ever complained about eggs on the floor and snotty 4 year old attitudes.
But today I don't have 3 kids.
I have 2.
And it's hard.
That's why God made them so adorably squishy and cute.
It makes it totally worth it.

I'll leave you with a glimpse of my son's unique little personality.
When he's not eating or getting into something, he's hangin' out in the trash can.

I don't have any pictures of Ellie because she's in her room until further notice.