Broken bones are a part of life

This is what all my brother has done to his skeleton.  This does not include anything that didn't break a bone...I don't have enough blog to cover all of his injuries.:

1989 - fell off of a 6' high wall

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  Two broken wrists
  
  


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  Fractured skull
  
  

1993 - was pushed down during a game of basketball

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  One broken wrist
  
  

2003 - jumped by someone (two separate times)

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  Broken Nose
  
  


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  Broken Jaw
  
  

2006 - Dirt bike accident (completely his fault)

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  Broken Knee
  
  


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  Broken Ankle
  
  


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  Numerous Broken bones in foot
  
  


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  Fractured Vertebrae
  
  

2008 - dirt bike accident (complete accident)

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  Broken tibia (lower leg)
  
  


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  Broken fibula (lower leg)
  
  

The doctor's said my 30 year old brother has the bones of a 60 year old man.  That combined with his love of anything with 2 wheels and his tendency towards not-so-reputable people is dangerous. 

He came out of the surgery quickly.  They found more soft tissue damage than they had originally thought they would, but after watching it closely all weekend, it looks like he'll get to go home today.  He's off the really heavy drugs already.  My brother has never been one to take pain medication, and this doesn't change that.  I'm sure he'll be on Tylenol within a week.

I think about all of the pain that my brother has been in, and is in...it makes me so sad.  I want to protect him, and have no way of doing so. 

I suppose this is a lesson that I need to learn, now.  When I have children I won't be able to protect them from making stupid mistakes.  I won't be able to protect them from bullies.  I won't be able to keep them from climbing walls.  And I'm sure seeing my own children suffer from the blows that life will inevitably deal will be even more painful.  We suffer to become parents and we suffer as parents.  This whole parent thing must really be something beautiful...

Clomid #1 Day 2

Today is my second day of having Clomid in my system.  I'm a bit emotional.  And I've had some crazy creepy dreams.  And that's about it as far as side effects go (so far).

In Clomid's defense, the emotional part may have some outside influence.  Like the fact that as I type this my twin brother is being sliced into.  He broke his tibia and fibula last night.  Now he has to have a rod inserted into his leg. This breaks my heart. 

Recently Twin A's job decided it would be in everyone's best interest to get rid of that pesky ol' insurance.  So my brother's doing all this sans insurance.  And will be sans paycheck for many weeks.  And is in horrible pain.  And this makes me want to sit in a corner and cry like a baby.

These feelings may or may not have been heightened by the Clomid.  But in Clomid's defence (because, as we all know, Clomid is so sensitive to criticism), I used to sit in the corner and sob when Twin A would get spanked when we were younger.  He's always had a knack for getting in trouble.  And for breaking bones.  They're doing a bone density scan, too.

Finally!!!

I have a protocol!!

I won't give all the details of the horror that was yesterday and today and dealing with my doctor's office and the pharmacy, but the general idea is as follows:  

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  The radiologist didn't get the u/s report to my doctor's office.  The nurse had to call and hope they bothered to rush it to her.   
  
  


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  All of the doctors in my ob/gyns office are on vacation this week so there was no guarantee that Nurse Rocks could get someone to write a prescription for me. 
  
  


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  The pharmacy repeatedly told me that no one had called the Clomid in for me, but they hadn't checked the voice mail.  (I kid you not, for a couple of hours they kept telling me to check back because they hadn't finished checking the voice mail.)
  
  


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  The pharmacy did not have a prescription for me.
  
  


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  Nurse Rocks, again, called the prescription in for me and explained that the pharmacy was busy so she was unable to talk to the pharmacist and had to leave another message.
  
  

After a week of stress and two days of staying on the verge of tears, I finally have a prescription for Clomid and a game plan!  I've already had my CD3 u/s, so step one is taken care of.  I will start my 50mg Clomid prescription tonight.  For step three I have to call the office on CD19 to have them send a referral for a CD21 blood draw to test my progesterone.  And then I wait a week or so and see what I get.  I wish I could express my relief at finally knowing what's going on (and knowing that my doctor's office is on the same page). 

I am also very relieved that they want to test my progesterone on CD21.  I was worried that I'd have to beg and plead for another test.  Just getting this far (this past month) has taken so many calls to their office that I've truly lost count. 

I'm also relieved that I don't have to call their office for two whole weeks!!!!!  Hoo-freakin-ray!!!!!!!  :-)  I can just about guarantee that Nurse Rocks is just as excited as I am to not have to deal with me for a while.  Ha!

Oh yeah, and the doctor on call that gave me the prescription told Nurse Rocks to make sure I have sex on CD12 - 17 and use "ovulation predictor pee sticks".  I laughed and told her that I had a fertility monitor and OPK sticks.  I've got that covered!

So now I relax (because I finally can exhale for a while), pop a few pills, and wait.

Mr. W's Birthday

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Twenty-eight years ago today, one of the most wonderful men in the world was born.  It's definitely a day for celebration!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. W!!!!

What I was going to say was...

Well, I'm not really sure.  I just don't know what to say lately.  I'm reading all the blogs I normally read, but I just don't know what to put in a comment.  I feel like a total creep for not commenting, but...I just don't know what to say.  :-(

But at least I can give a little update.  I had to cancel my u/s on Friday because CD1 didn't show in time.  I did get my braces on, though.  Can you say "ouch".  Getting the braces on didn't hurt, but since then...waaaaaaaa!!!!  They had to put "build ups" on my lower back molars so I literally can't chew.  My teeth don't touch.  I wouldn't want to chew anyway.  My teeth are actually loose.  You can wiggle them, if you really wanted to.  I've been told the pain/discomfort should lessen in a few more days.   (and in this pic, that is as close as my teeth come to touching.)



AF decided to show up Saturday morning.  5 am.  While I had a hangover.  With brand new braces.  I'm sure that I looked hilarious walking around the house hunched over with makeup smeared around my eyes, my bathrobe paired with my shirt from the night before, one hand cupping my aching mouth and the other cupping my excruciatingly painful abdomen desperately trying to gather my thoughts long enough to find the ibuprofen.  I have only had cramps this badly one time in my life.  But at least the bitch finally showed up!But today is a new day.  I was "cleared".  The u/s tech that wanded me today also works for the local fertility clinic so she knew a little more than your typical hospital u/s technician.  Woo hoo!  She explained that I was there for a "clearing".  She was also kind enough to turn the screen my way and point out my ovaries and the lack of cysts on them.  She said I had a "follicular cyst" which was expected at CD3 from last cycle.  She said there were plenty of possibilities for eggs, too.  There was a more technical term she used (not antral follicles) but I can't remember it.  She sent me on my way with a very heartfelt sounding "good luck"!I called my doctor's office (she's on vacation but the nurse told me Friday that one of the other doctors would write the prescription for me) and left a message letting them know what the technician said, but understood that they would have to have a doctor read the report.  And that I would appreciate it if they could either write the script by noon and I could come pick it up or if they could call it in for me because tomorrow is CD4 and I need to start it CD5.  Now I try to be patient.  But I did begin the message by giving my name, telephone number, and my status as most annoying patient.  :-)Hopefully I'll be able to put a few of the words in my head together and begin leaving some comments.  I really do care!  I promise!

Update

Nurse Rocks finally called me back at 4:53 yesterday afternoon.  She said that the Dr. wants me to have an u/s to check for cysts.  She's supposed to call me this morning with the appointment time for tomorrow.   (yay...one man prodding in my mouth for an hour or so in the morning and another prodding at my girly bits that afternoon...and I'm not even getting a meal out of these dates!)  It's supposed to be CD2 tomorrow, but AF may not be cooperating.

I was so excited that Nurse Rocks called back that I really forgot about asking any other questions.  Like:  If I have to have an u/s at the hospital Friday afternoon before I can get a prescription, when am I going to get the prescription?  If today is CD1 (i hope i hope i hope) and the office is closed over the weekend, I wouldn't be able to get a script and get it filled until late CD5.  That's no good.  And do I need to get CD3 blood-work?  Hello?  Are you still there?

Hopefully they'll call me early this morning so I can get all of my questions answered today.  If I'm going to do this, I need to know that things are at least planned to go smoothly.

***UPDATED***

Nurse Rocks called.  I'm scheduled for tomorrow afternoon for my u/s to check for cysts.  I'll call them back on Monday to make sure the u/s was clear and to get a prescription for Clomid.  Let's hope tomorrow is CD1.  If it isn't (if it's CD2 instead) then I won't get my Clomid until late CD5.  WTF?  If CD1 doesn't come in time, I'll have to reschedule the u/s. 

She actually asked if I wanted to wait and schedule this for next month.  Are you kidding me?  What makes me think that they'll have their shit together next month?  Dr. never mentioned anything to Nurse Rocks about any sort of blood-work, either.  And it's no big deal to them if this doesn't get done in time to actually start the Clomid?  WTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!???!?!?!

So this might happen this month.  It might not. 

I'm looking at other doctors, now.  I can't do an RE, yet (insurance won't cover it and right now I need to start at the beginning, which insurance does cover).  But I've found what look to be some really good doctors.  At least that will keep my busy today so I don't sit and obsess about how frustrating my current office is.

Sigh.

Better

Thank you all so much for your support.  My pity party is now over (for the most part).  I know it's only Clomid and it's not that big of a deal.  I mean, come on!  I AM A CLOMID BABY!!!  This should give me hope.  I'm not ending anything, just beginning a slightly different part of my journey.  And I will walk into this with positive thoughts!  And if I end up doing IUIs, it's OK and I will be positive.  And if I end up doing IVF, it's OK and I will be positive.  This is the journey that I know is mine, and I will be positive!  I've even talked to my Mom and Sister about it (and didn't get the "just relax" like I usually get from my sister). 

The only hitch I'm running into right now is from my doctor.  I called the office yesterday to let them know CD1 should be here any day and to get my prescription and find out what their protocol was...no notes.  My doctor didn't make any notes in my file about Clomid.  Huh?  WTF was the HSG for?  "To make sure your tubes are clear before we start you on Clomid" was what I was originally told.  Luckily the doctor's nurse rocks.  So she's going to talk to the doc about it today and see what needs to be done.  (My doc is always so busy that this seems to be a norm for her.  The good thing is her nurse makes sure that things get done.  But don't get me wrong, my doctor is wonderful, just not 100% wonderful at multi-tasking.)  She'll get back to me today.

So anyone interested in my latest addiction?  I played the free on-line version for a while, but now I'm jumping in with both feet.  I ordered it yesterday!!!  Fate.  I LOVE it!  It should be here today!!!  Yay!!!!  So if I get a little quiet...I'm not wallowing in stupid self pity, I'm playing a game!

11DPO

I'm pms-ing.  That's not good.  And I know that so many pms symptoms are so similar to BFP symptoms...but there's no way.  These aren't "something's happening" cramps...they're AF cramps.  These aren't "mood swings" these are get-away -from-me-before-i-kill-you-and-hide-your-body-in-the-freezer moods.  And that depresses the absolute hell out of me. 

I don't even want to talk to anyone IRL about it.  I don't want to remind those that know that this ends my "all-natural" baby making.  (Come on...really...what's natural about peeing on a stick for 10 - 20 days a month, timing sex, and using special lubricants?)  I know it's only Clomid, but it's more than I wanted.  Yeah, so what.  I know.  But it's breaking my heart.  I.  Don't.  Want.  This.

So while I'm thinking about what I need to do to make sure that I can get the prescription for Clomid in time, I'm beginning to figure out what I need to do to do an IUI...and that leads me (in my mind) to IVF.  I can't plan one without beginning planning for the other.  It's a vicious cycle that I can't get out of.  And I find myself thinking about these things all the time.  As if planning is giving me some form of control.  The worst part of this is that my mind never takes a break from it.  I'm exhausted.  I want to think about something else for a while...maybe just an hour.

Now on a completely different note:

Thank you all so much for your support with the dentist's appointment.  It really went better than I expected.  I was so excited by talking about my braces that the not-being-pregnant didn't really bother me too much.  But the love and support I got from you guys made it even better.  Just in case no one has told you today...YOU ROCK!

I'm getting my teeth cleaned today.  I've got to update my file.  Let them know that I'm no longer pregnant.  Yeah.  Because I was "pregnant" the last time I was there.  This sucks more than I thought it would.

Sigh.

Hahahaha!!!

I'm posting this in lieu of my letter to my body.  No, not really.  I'm working on that post, but I'm such a procrastinator.  Plus I realized it's making me face a few issues...so it's a work in progress.

So until then...hahahaha!!!!

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Bad dog!

Mr. W:  The dogs are locked outside.
Me:  What did they do?
Mr. W:  They pulled everything off of the table and ripped it up.  Including the bills.
Me:  The dining room table?  (because that's where I set the bills.  the other place for the bills is the foyer table in an organizer I bought specifically for that use)
Mr. W:  No.  The end table.  (where he's been piling his junk for a couple of weeks)  They also tore all the clothes out of the bags.
Me:  What bags?
Mr. W:  The bag by the DVD player.  I don't know what their problem is!
Me:  I don't know.Honestly, I know exactly what the problems are.  It's not the dogs.  Yes, they know better.  But come on!!!  How long do you expect them to have the temptation and not give in?  And his crap isn't supposed to go on the end table.  It goes in the bill organizer.  And that bag with the clothes?  Yeah.  It's been sitting in the floor since he got back from his last trip (Feb 15).  I've asked him numerous times to clean his shit up.  But he always has something else more important.  I refuse to clean up after him anymore.  Don't get me wrong, he can clean very well!  He goes through phases where he'll just get in the mood and clean the entire house.  But that's usually after he's left so much crap out that it's disgusting.  WTF?!?!  I'm over it!

Then he says he doesn't know if he'll be able to get the living room (and dining room table...his crap, too) cleaned up before I get off of work.  He then asks when my parents will be over (could have sworn he was sitting with me last night when it was planned) and is pretty upset when I inform him that they'll be coming over as soon as I get off of work.  I AM NOT A FREAKING HOUSEKEEPER!  I WORK MORE HOURS THAN HE DOES!  I CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF AND TAKE CARE OF THE KITCHEN AND BATHROOMS!  All I'm asking is for him to pick up after himself and to occasionally help me do a good cleaning.  Grrrrrrrrrrr

Oh yeah.  So I realized that I made my house sound like a disaster zone, it's not.  It gets cluttered and dusty at it's worst, but that's about it.  I just prefer a place for everything and everything in its place!  :-)

Hooray! & Holy Cow!

CD17 and both my monitor and my OPK state that today is the day!  Hooray(I snagged this great pic from Moosk.  She's working on a widget for the CBEFM.  If you have any technical knowledge, head over there and lend a hand!)

And here's my "Holy Cow!":

Total billed:	$1171.00
Amount paid to Patient:	$0.00
Amount paid to ROPER HOSPITAL:	$549.25
Beneficiary paid to Provider:	$0.00
Primary coverage allowed amount:	$0.00
Primary coverage payment amount:	$0.00
Total amount paid:	$549.25
Patient liability for this claim:
Deductible:	$0.00
Cost-share:	$96.93
Copayment:	$0.00
Total patient liability:	$96.93

That's from my EOB from Tricare.  That's for my HSG.  Holy Cow!  Look at how much they charged.  That's more expensive than an MRI!  Thank God for insurance!  (and for low deductibles)

Oh yeah, the results (official).  According to the doctor's nurse, all is "normal" for the HSG and the FSH.  Hooray!!!

And my parent's are coming into town today for my niece's 3rd birthday party.  This is shaping up to be a wonderful weekend.  :-)

Hosting?

I'm looking to find an off-site host for my blog.  Who do you use?

So it looks like I'm going to use GoDaddy as a host.  Let's hope this works!  It will be a few days before I get it set up (with hopefully very few bumps along the way).  My new addy will be www.waitinginline.org.  :-)

My turn? haha!!

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

BV? Old Blood? WTH?? TMI ***updated***

So why can't anything be easy?

I had my HSG on Wednesday. 4 days later and I still have a brown chunky-ish discharge. It's not the consistency of a yeast infection, but more like there are tea leaves in the discharge. Besides the "chunks" the rest of the mess is fairly thin. But it's all brown. No odor to speak of, though.

Anyone had a similar experience or any advice? And before you tell me, I already plan on calling my Dr in the morning, but thought maybe someone might have some advice today.  For the record, I'm afraid it's BV and/or a yeast infection and that the meds for that would mean I'd have to not TTC this month.  Thank you!!!

***update***

It's almost all cleared up, now!  Woo Hoo!  I spoke with my doctor's nurse and she said that it's perfectly normal for me to have that discharge, but if it didn't go away to call them back.  All clear in time for a little possibly procreational recreation.  :-)