I'm amazed how I am constantly feeling insulted right now. Even with my clinical thinking, I'm still taking things the wrong way.
- I had to have blood drawn today for my beta. That was insulting. If they had let me have a beta when I first requested one, I wouldn't have gotten so excited about a positive HPT. Now I'm having it done to verify that the pregnancy is indeed over. That's insulting.
- The cramps I had for the first few days; those were insulting.
- The fact that I'm still bleeding (I know it's only day six) is insulting.
- An innocent elderly patient asked me what Mr. W and I are waiting on to have a baby; I was insulted.
Come on! I know better on all of these! I know there is nothing truly wrong with any of these things. A few of these are medical and there is no way around them. And the elderly gentleman meant no harm! Why would he know anything about infertility?
I'm sure I'll get over this stage of my mourning, soon enough.
I start my sewing class tonight! I'm excited, but quite nervous. I used my machine for the very first time last night. My sister taught me how to thread my machine and how to sew a straight line. So at 5:00pm I will leave my job, drive to a location that I've never been to, search a campus for a building that I do not know the name of, enter a classroom full of people that I do not know, and begin an intermediate sewing class with not even a beginners knowledge. My sister was supposed to take the class with me, but now she can't. So I'm doing this alone. This is waaayyyy out of my comfort zone on so many levels, and exactly what I need right now!
I think it will be a wonderful experience for me! I'll meet new people, learn new things, and most of all, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Hahaha! And if I actually get the hang of this, I'm going to start making my own scrubs (with matching purses...hahahahahahahaha!). I've also got a pattern for simple togas for me and Mr. W for Halloween. And my favorite is a corner-dog-bed pattern I got. My fur-baby Megan loves to curl up behind our recliner so I've decided to make her a bed to go back there. My sweet puppy! (she's been a good thing for me the past week. i don't know if i'd be feeling this "OK" if i hadn't been able to bury my face in her fur at least once a night.)
