Fat Pants

When Tim and I met (2004) I weighed 110 lbs. I then lost a few pounds due to anxiety. After we settled into a healthy relationship I started gaining a little weight. I was 145 lbs when we got married (a little pudgy, but still healthy for my 5'5" self). After our first pregnancy loss I gained some more weight so I was up to 165 when I got pregnant with the twins. You'd think hyperemesis would have kept the weight off, but it didn't. As soon as I found something I could keep down, I did just that. I weighed almost 200 lbs after they were born. I was able to lose down to the 160's with some help from Weight Watchers. Then we decided to try for another baby and had our second loss. I put on a few more pounds. By the time Aedan was born I weighed 200 lbs again. And I kept gaining. At 215 lbs I decided I'd had enough.

I've dieted over my lifetime, but that doesn't quite work for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life counting calories or points or anything like that. What I do want to do is kick in my self control and only eat when hungry and watch my portions. There's no reason for me to eat two servings of dinner just because it tastes good! I want to drink more water (not that I drink a whole lot else anyway). I want to be the better example for my children!

Weight issues run all through our families, so they have that working against them already. We can see from Jack's build he'll fight weight, but if he's anything like his Daddy he'll stay so active he'll be able to eat what he wants as long as he doesn't mind being built like a bulldog. Trip seems to take after the men in my family (lucky duck) and will probably be able to eat any and everything he wants and stay stick thin until he's in his 30's. Then he'll have to watch it a tiny bit and make sure to stay active. Aedan is such a mix that I can't begin to guess.

But me? I gain weight just thinking about a cracker. I fought anorexia throughout my late teens and twenties. Then I fought overeating. Food is just too much of a crutch for me. And that has to stop. Now.

So I'm losing weight! I started pushing my plate away after one serving or when I was full whichever came first. I stopped finishing what the kids didn't eat from their plates. I drank a glass of water instead of eating a snack when it was close to meal time. I'm making myself do what is healthy and right. For me. For my husband. For my kids. But mostly for me. I've lost 20lbs so far!

Just a few days ago I signed up at MyFitnessPal.com. It allows me to track my caloric intake, my excercise (hahahahaha), and my weight. It allows me to connect with my friends to give and receive much needed and appreciated support. Most of all, it helps me hold myself accountable for what I eat. I use the calorie counter as a guide (instead of a goal). I love it!

So soon, I'll be saying goodbye to all of my fat pants and hello to a healthier and happier me!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

This says it all

 

I AM HUNGRY!!!

Let's get it on!

So CD1 is here.  Provera be damned!  I went ahead and tossed the last few pills I had.  Of course I'm a little confused how my period started while I was still on the Provera, but oh well.  This can work to my advantage!  It turns out that Mr. W will be out of town for a few days next month.  Those few days fall right when I had projected that I would ovulate if AF had shown up two weeks after finishing the Provera.  So I'm pretty stoked that the bitch is early!   I'm stocked up on sticks for my CBEFM and OPK sticks (I know I'm a POAS-a-holic) and have a few applicators of Pre-Seed.  I'm ready!  Let's get it on (ummm...next week or so)!

I've held off on starting my W.W. pictorial.  I'm glad I did, though.  I was beyond bloated!  I'm starting the plan tomorrow and will get Mr. W to snap a few shots of me tomorrow night.  Don't say you weren't warned!  ;-)

You're killing me!

I tried to write a letter to my diet to express my displeasure with it, but it just didn't quite work. It wasn't as amusing as I had hoped it would be.

Today is day 3 of Wei.ght Wa.tchers. Even though I had a glazed doughnut this morning, I'm still within my points. Yay! All of the greens and veggies are killing me, though! And the fiber, I can't forget the fiber. The build up of gas in my intestines has become unbearable! The distension and pain are not amusing! Ugh!!! And I'm always hungry. Grrrrrr....

I know! I know! I've done this before. After a week, the hunger will calm down. I won't stay hungry. I also know the issues with all the added fiber and veggies will go away, too. I want it to stop now, though! (stomping my feet and throwing my arms around) NOW!

And in case anyone ever wonders, one Kri.spy Kre.me Doughnuts chocolate iced custard filled doughnut is 7 points. And soooo worth it!!! (and this is in addition to the glazed doughnut with breakfast)

Oh, and I added a weight loss counter up top, too. It's an old code that I updated so my starting weight is what it was when I first started Wei.ght Wat.chers in April (maybe June).