Paperback 851: The Puzzle Planet / Robert A.W. Lowndes // The Angry Espers / Lloyd Biggle, Jr. (Ace D-485)

Paperback 851: Ace Double D-485 (PBO/PBO, 1961)

Title: The Puzzle Planet / The Angry Espers
Authors: Robert A.W. Lowndes / Lloyd Biggle, Jr.
Cover artist: Ed Emshwiller / Ed Valigursky

Estimated value: $15-20


Best things about this cover:

• Brigitte Bardot senses that things are about take a very, very freaky turn.
• That's some Left Bank space helmetry she's got going there.
• In the future, cameras will weigh 80 pounds and Mr. Clean will have Really let himself go.
• No one could stop Steve Rockwell from making the "Barbarella" prequel of his dreams!

Best things about this other cover:

• "Float, harlequin! Float to hell!"
• Mind-Bowling: It Takes Balls
• In the future, everyone and everything will orbit Rutger Hauer.

Page 123~ (from The Angry Espers)

"May I speak with Doctor Alir?" Corban asked.
"Doctor Alir is not here."
"When is she expected back?"
"She will not be back," the doctor said. "She's been … transferred."

Spoiler alert: Doctor Alir is now a pin girl in Rutger Hauer's Human Bowl-a-Rama.

~RP

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Paperback 791: Camera Club Model / James Harvey (Midwood F253)

Paperback 791: Midwood F253 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Camera Club Model
Author: James Harvey
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Armpit fetishists, you're in luck!
• Offscreen mystery hand preserves the modesty. I'm imagining the photographer of this picture directing the photographers *in* the picture: "Little to the right … down … perfect!"
• This is a great angle for the lower half of her body and a Terrible angle for everything else. It's all weird angles and lack of definition. Also, she looks like she's complaining about the fact that she's being arrested. Not sexy.
• Dude in background has mastered the perv-clutch hand position.
• I like how James Harvey is branching out in the kinds of models he is writing about.

Best things about this back cover:

• I prefer to take the big first word in isolation: SOMETHING! Such an intriguingly vague come-on.
• Needs to be a comma after "spotlight."
• I like how the first sentence tells us what we Just Saw On The Other Side Of This Book.
• "The odor of their combined lust" just killed mine.
• And the final bottom word, again, better in isolation. "Now let's try something really different. DIFFERENT!!!!!"

Page 123~

Betty went through her derriere poses. 

She took shadow puppetry to a whole new level.

~RP

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Paperback 629: Requiem for a Rake / Will Laurence (Intimate Books 704)

Paperback 629: Intimate Books 704 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Requiem for a Rake
Author: Will Laurence
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• The scintillating sequel to Lament for a Leaf Blower
• Whatever she is bringing to this cover (and she is bringing a lot), he is taking away three-fold.
• If you're gonna despoil a stage-struck starlet, there's gotta be a better way than upside-down, fully-clothed footsie.
• Is that camera rolling, 'cause ... if so, two words: niche market.

Best things about this back cover:

• Clan Coulter. There's your Halloween costume for 2013.
• Do they mean "stage" as in TV stage or western stage (i.e. stagecoach)? 'Cause I kind of like the image of Clan riding his bed across the prairie. 
• "Les" is one of those names that is never gonna look right in the possessive form.

Page 123~

Janice Littleton was a girl who would do practically anything for money, a fact she had amply demonstrated to Mari during the months the two women had worked together . Her credo was to smile, not act too smart, try to make herself liked, and always look out for Number One. Her scruples were as limp as last year's girdle.

You're not using the word "credo" correctly here, but that last sentence makes me inclined to forgive you.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 471: Model for Murder / Stephen Marlowe (Graphic 94)

Paperback 471: Graphic 94 (PBO, 1955)

Title: Model for Murder
Author: Stephen Marlowe
Cover artist: Walter Popp

Yours for: $16

Best things about this cover:

• I have no idea what these people are up to, but that cigarette and that cigar are getting it on.
• Finally, a taut thriller about the exciting, dangerous world of copyediting.
• Steve is puzzled to find that his meticulously researched paper, "Broads: Stacked vs. Unstacked," merits only a B-. "I don't think I understand this whole 'Women's Studies' thing, Bernie."

Best things about this back cover:

• Kinsey!
• Out-Kinseyed Kinsey! "Screw this survey stuff, let's just install hidden cameras."
• Lady wrestlers! Be still my heart.
• Talk about ... Pop Grujdzak. Talk about ... Pop Grujdzak.
• If I had to invent a stupid-sounding last name, and had several days to do it, I still couldn't beat Wompler.

Page 123~

The clothing was Ken's naturally, and as I dressed and tested the stiffness in my left arm, I began to wonder. The arm couldn't have punched its way through a wet Kleenex tissue.

So ... he dresses up like Barbie's boyfriend and he has a lot of experience testing the tensile strength of wet Kleenex. He sounds dreamy.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]