Autumn Asks: Are you living a smelly nightmare???

WE ARE!!

Okay, so its not as bad as it could be....but COME ON!

One thing I will not miss about Texas is the skunks.

Yes, everywhere has skunks. I know that. But, for some reason, the has been the skunk season to beat all skunk seasons here in Texas.

As soon as spring started, we got bombarded. You couldn't drive more than 600 yards without passing yet another skunk bomb on the side of the road. It was crazy awful. You hadn't even caught your breath from the last assault before your nose was tortured again.

Some days the girls would just sit in the back seat and cry. Okay, so it was a whiny, fake cry, but still. If I was looking for a way to torture my children, I couldn't have found a better one. All we had to do was step foot in the car. And we are talking with the outside vents closed....not open. With them open we would have just run off the road and crashed.
Even DH is complaining and howling at the insults to our noses this year. WHAT IS IT??? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SKUNKS????? -- Not a new rock song - just a bellow from the old man.

Many times we were afraid we smelled by the time we arrived at our destination. I mean, how could you drive in that for so far and not smell like it??? I guess we never noticed if anyone gave us strange looks.....probably because our eyes were still streaming from the relentless insults...and they drove through the same thing and couldn't smell either. Or smell too.

I never would have guessed I'd end up blogging about skunk stink. But yes, that is how prevalent it has become in my life. An every car ride thing.

I have no idea what makes this a banner year. One thing I do worry about though is rabies. Aren't skunks rabies carriers??? Does this mean we are in for a banner rabies summer also??? Okay friends, keep your dogs close.

So I went online to find some funny pictures on skunks for this post, and got a whole new education. So, being the helpful person I am, I thought I'd better share some new knowledge.

1. DO NOT let your 2nd grader do a report on skunks. Why not? Because when you type in skunk in google images, you get more hits/pictures of skunk weed than the animal. Are you ready to explain killer skunk weed??? If you are in California, you can just tell the little angel it's medicine......but around here that doesn't fly.

2. Skunks are cute. Why they are cute I don't understand, but they are. So it is very hard to have pictures of evil skunks when you talk bad about them....because they really are adorable. Tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor. NOT FUNNY.
3. There are people that like skunks. To the tune of living with 2 dozen of them in their house, or making little clothes for them. If there is not already a disorder name for this....we need one. Any ideas?
4. Some people think skunk looks good. Like fashionable. Okay - so if you look like or are a supermodel...you make EVERYTHING look good. The majority of us are not going to pull this off.
5. There is such thing as a skunk car.....
but thankfully, not a skunk recipe.
6. There are no scary pictures of skunks or B rate horror movies I could find. This is as scary as it gets....

So there you are. You know you feel smarter for it.


Oh - and before I forget -- I have two new friends on my link list. One is a natural homemade soap site (review coming soon) and the other is a young lady that I am proud to call part of my family...Living the Life of a Teenaged Girl. Stop by and say hello to them if you have time!

Autumn Asks: What Cartoon Family Did You Grow Up In?

It's not a trick question.

I grew up in a cartoon family.

Can you guess which one?

The Flintstones.


No kidding.

My dad was that big guy, loud, with the big nose. They had the same fashion sense too. Not kidding. Although dad usually ended up with some crazy stripes instead of spots.

See what I mean?

Dad's favorite sports? Fishing and bowling. Grew up very familiar with the bowling alleys. Mom and dad were always in leagues. I always stank. Still do. But still have loads of fun going with my kids.
Mom was always looking put together.

Remember when people "dressed" to do anything? That's how I found out I was busted once. Came home and she was "dressed". Asked her where she went. To the school. Seems she got a phone call from one of my teachers that was very concerned that I might be in a devil worshiping cult. True story. I'm laughing my butt off just thinking of it. Maybe I'll share at another time...and then again maybe I won't!

Mom was also very much a home maker. And she worked. But our house was always kept up so nice. Dinners were almost always home cooked meals from scratch. She was great about making sure we had balanced meals. A forgotten art nowadays. Plus she sews. REALLY sews. The coolest stuff. I think she even made our swimsuits some years.

But....

She's tough. A tall Texas woman and military brat to boot. Don't piss her off. She has a mean streak. I come by it honest. Manners and etiquettte of a true lady....but watch out. Go too far...
And did I mention dad was loud??? Even his sneezes used to rock the chandeliers of the upstairs and downstair neighbors.
See that expression? It was not hard to push him to that point. For some reason I figured out how to be a pro at it. Livin on the edge.
That's actually a smile.

And then there was pebbles. Without the hair. Poor kid.
Yep. That's my cartoon family. I probably don't have to tell you how weird it was for me as a kid when this show came on. I actually didn't like watching it as it creeped me out. Still does.

Autumn Asks: Are you ready for a funny?

Last month I was reading a post at Something This Foggy Day and got the biggest laugh. She has been talking about the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" thing. A professor sent her an email with an assignment story from his class. He assigned the male's and female's to write a story together. It was a tandem story, where one of the partners started the story by writing the first paragraph. That person then emailed the paragraph to their partner and the teacher.

The partner then adds to the story with another paragraph and sends it back and to the teacher. They were not allowed to talk about the story outside of the emails - anything that needed to be said had to be in the email. The story ends when both partners agree that it is finished.

Here is what the professor sent....(Follow the link to read the entire article at Something This Foggy Day if you are interested.)

THE STORY

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign or resistance so far ..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle BEAM FLASHED out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for physically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed, unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic! whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have a chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of *)@#$ tea???! Oh no, WHAT AM I to do? ...

(And they continue to hurl abuse.)


I think I just peed myself!!!!

Autumn is not Thankful

So I said I was going to post what I am thankful for with each post this month. Clearly that cannot be the case today.

I forgot to factor in the election.

So today was more of a monster movie kind of day. (Hey, at least I have my outlet.)

Yep, today was all about...

Blood sucking, radioactive mutants from another planet. With sneaky crab mutant people that popped out of the water and got you. And don't forget the bat people that dropped down on you from no-where.




And it was about blood sucking vampires. The kind that prey on the hard working people...while they party all the time. And it doesn't matter how good looking you are...because you are a vampire. I mean, really!


And to wrap it all up perfectly...giant rats and maggots.


Yes, so the world makes sense again. And now I know how to survive the next four years. Although, it might be kind of hard to find one of those holy water balloon launchers. Guess I'll have to check Ebayyyy.

Autumn asks: What do you like to do when you get bad news?

Kind of a strange question, I know.

I know people that when they get bad news they cry and cry...and cry. And some people call everyone they know and pour their hearts out and gather support. Some go on a shopping spree to end all shopping spree's. I've known all of the above. All of the above are just fine if they work for you.

I like to watch old monster movies.

Huh?

Yep, old monster movies. Come on, you know your news can't be as bad as being chased by giant crabs or flying turtles! See, it could be worse. Plus, you are going to get a laugh out of these films...they are crazy ridiculous. And they require zero brain power to watch...your mind can be a million miles away, and you haven't miss anything...like a plot.

I started watching scary movies when I was little. When my grandmother would come to visit she would even stay up late with me so I could watch Godzilla, or if I was lucky Gamera. Radon sucked.


I loved the crazy ones like these:




Giant spiders, scorpions, bees, ants, leeches and space monsters of all types. Do you know how gross a giant gila monsters tongue looks? Its all black!

And then then I got a little older and started watching these:



Mutant piranha's, mutant bears, mad grizzlies and the biggest shark ever. And the coolest was the wolves with the extra super senses that are living in the city because their habitat has been invaded.

Older still and you get the classics:


Psycho brother that comes out on Halloween. The kid that supposedly drowns at camp while the counselors were fooling around. The big bad nightmare guy. And there is no one scarier than pinhead and his friends.

And then/now its more about the scary movies with good looking guys:




Vampires everywhere. Mummys. Big worms being defeated by the likes of Kevin Bacon. Rennick. And then the nicely cut scientist.

Some of the coolest looking monsters:


But...my all time favorite series of movies:


Now that's some kind of monster.

Sadly, I like very few of the new scary movies. I do not like ones that could be real. No sick people hurting others for a game. It's only fun when its unreal. Hate movies that deal with satan or evil spirits because they are too real. Freddy and Jason are as close as I like to come to reality.

So why did I drag you all through that? Because I really need a monster movie right now...and I don't have one. But this worked out pretty good! Thanks for helping!