10 Weeks Post Whipple

It's about time that I update this thing.  I have been really busy and that is great!

Things are pretty much back to normal here.  There is still some pain in my lower ab area but only when I cough.  I think my muscles are recovering and the trauma of coughing every few minutes is not helping.  It will go away in time I am sure.  The skin around my incision is now peeling.  I started using Mederma on it to make it less red and that's when I started peeling.  Related?  Maybe.  Not too worried though.

As far as what I was expecting post things are different.  I do not need insulin thankfully and I do still need enzymes of course.  My body does not seem to have changed much missing a piece of my pancreas.  One thing that changed is my need for Miralax daily.  I no longer need it every day.  I am still working on when to take it though and it could be a few months till I am back to knowing and on a schedule.

The results of the surgery showed that the cyst was entirely related to CF.  There were no signs of cancer at all.  Great news!!!  It does mean this surgery was technically not needed but I am glad to have had it done.  Now any other cysts that grow large like this one and read the way this one did we can chalk up to CF and not Lynch.  Transplant was pleased with the results of course and are happy to have me as a candidate again.

Here is a picture of my torso.  Its a little outdated now but nothing has changed on the recent picture.  Except maybe a few more pounds added to me ;)

Overall I feel pretty good.  My lung function was down a good amount at my clinic visit 2 weeks ago so we started oral cipro to see if it gives me a boost.  I didn't feel as low as I was but it makes sense I am down.  For the first few weeks after surgery I could not cough like I usually do.  So things have been sitting and brewing in there.  The past 7 or so weeks I have been able to cough better and to get stuff up.  My FEV1 was at .89L (29%) down from 1.15L (38%) in July before surgery.  So yeah a significant drop.

My dilemma is this though.  Why is my FEV1 so low, yet I feel like I am functioning at a much higher one?  I know I know, everyone is different, it just seems so strange to me to have an FEV1 of 29% and yet still be able to carry boxes up and down steps (slowly and immediately after my nebulized treatments and only a couple with breaks and coughing fits - but I do it!).  Why is it that I can jog on the treadmill (even if only for less than 60 seconds at a time) if my numbers are such shit?  It is this aspect of CF I just never understand.  I see 29% and I think that I should be home bound and on O2, yet I am not.  I use it to sleep and I need it if I plan on taking my running any farther.  Quality of life ey? LOL

So that is it for me for now.  I am sure that the Cipro will do nothing for me and I will end up in patient the beginning of November.  But at least I will be feeling great for the upcoming holidays!!!

In Training for my Life

It's been a while, I know.  Sorry.  It has been a hectic few months.

My pancreatic surgery is scheduled for July 28th.  So that means July 7th I will go inpatient to start IV antibiotics to get my lungs in tip top shape.  The surgeon told me I will be in 7-10 days after surgery, possibly longer, depending on how I heal.  It could be 7 days or it could be 40.  No one knows.  But the first few days out of surgery I won't even be awake or aware, which I like...means I won't feel pain yet lol.

As far as specifics go: they will remove my gall bladder, bile duct, part of my intestinal tract, and the head of my pancreas.  More of the pancreas if the pathologist in the room determines I need more removed.  He said I will most likely need insulin when I am done, and I will definitely need pancreatic enzymes (got that covered already!!!).   My whole mid section will be entirely rearranged.  They will be quite surprised when they go in there to begin with and see I am all moved around already.  HA!  Have fun docs! (they know about my hysterectomy no worries).  I'm not too thrilled about the scar that will be across my stomach from this, but I am hoping it won't be too large.  Not like I wear skimpy bikinis anyway, but I am still not looking forward to that.

I'm extremely nervous and hoping that my immune system allows me to heal quickly and that I don't get any infections.  I am worried about that part more than the surgery and coming off the vent.  I have faith my lungs will pull me through it.  One thing I am going to try, which I remember from my hysterectomy, is to put on as much weight as I can before surgery so that the CO2 they pump me full of during surgery can be reabsorbed into all my fat.  I remember the awful pain I had in my upper right shoulder from it last time.  Maybe the more fat I have, the less it will hurt.  *fingers crossed*

In other news:

May 15th I GRADUATED!!!  Finally, 16 years after graduating from high school I finally have my Master of Arts degree!!!  So exciting.  It feels fabulous to be done and I have already started a to-do list for myself of things I want and need to do to fill my now empty time slots.  I'm afraid to get too lazy because then I will do nothing but sleep, and I need to keep busy to keep healthy.

Speaking of which, I have been going to the gym once a week to do strength training on my own.  Tried for twice a week but I was so busy that it wasn't working out.  Now that things have calmed down for the next month or so I am shooting for twice a week. As my transplant nurse said, I am in training for surgery.  Pretend that this surgery is something I need to train for and prepare.  So that is my goal.  Minus the whole CF thing, I am in fairly good shape.  I can't run, but its hard with 37% lung function lol.  But I can exercise like a champ and lift weights, and I have stamina for cleaning etc.  Now if these stupid lungs would work I would be set!!!

Fabulouso

Today's clinic went a little better than I had thought it would.  They just updated their PFT cart so now there isn't a flexible tube, but instead a rigid stand.  They also changed the predicted values to the standard.  So before I was switching to my calculations, for this blog, I now don't have to do that.  My "new" predicted is 3.06L which is only slightly below what I was using at 3.10L.  The difference is really insignificant (1/2%).   I was expecting to see my % go down because of the new predicted values....

So now on the results of said clinic.  My FEV1 went up slightly instead!  I was at 1.03L in July, exactly 2 months ago, and this time I was 1.11L.  My % stayed the same at 36%, but now it is a true 36%.  I shall take that 3% increase (my calculations were 33% for 1.03L last time - are you as confused as me?!?!).  However, I am still lower than I was right before I was admitted back in June when I was at 1.13L.  But that is a small difference.

My weight was down 5 lbs, but my appetite has been sluggish and with the exercise it is to be expected.  She was not worried about it because I feel FABULOUS.

Yes FABULOUS.  I feel great.  There were no issues to report.  No extra coughing.  No fevers.  No chest pain (besides my regular which hasn't been as bad as I had expected given my no Motrin usage now).  Nothing, nadda, zilch, zero.  I told her my O2 has been higher with rest - usually I am around 93-94% on room air at rest, sometimes 95% if I sit long enough - but lately it has been as high as 97-98%!  And my exercise tolerance has improved dramatically too.  I have started doing rolling hills on the treadmill and strength training twice a week.  Once with the trainer and once on my own.  I don't push myself as hard as she does, but its easier to lift heavier than you can with a spotter.

I was told to come back in three months (something I haven't done since moving up here) and call if there are any issues in the mean time.

I could not have been happier with today.

They Say the Numbers Don't Mean Anything

Well Tuesday I was de-accessed at clinic.  So glad.  I was totally over IVs.  Unfortunately instead of my lungs improving with another week they went down.

I was a little annoyed at first though.  When doing them, the RT had the screen faced away from me so I couldn't really see the results.  I usually see them.  No biggie.  She was a new one for me.  So after the first blow she says "oh good you went up from last time."  So I am thinking sweet maybe I hit 40%!!!  Second one she says "even better!"  So I am pumped to get the print out.

I don't know where she was looking.  My guess is FVC/FEV1 instead of FEV1.  That is the only one where I am slightly better than last week.  My FEV1 was 1.03L at best.  Remember last week I was 1.10L.  And before the hospital I was 1.13L (.95L got me admitted).  WTF?  I was not going with another week of IVs though.  I feel fine.  I wouldn't have guessed my numbers were down.

I also lost 3lbs from the week before.  I was shocked.  My home scale stayed the same.  To be honest I am not worried.  I don't eat as much during the summer and with the exercise, I am bound to shed a few pounds.  If I lose too much more than I will start to worry.  And once fall hits again I will pack the pounds on again I am sure.

She also gave me a one week trial of the TOBI Podhaler.  I am supposed to wait 2 weeks then give it a go.  I am nervous though considering the reactions I get from any inhaled antibiotics.  I don't want to be spazzy for a week.  Plus I am back to feeling great at the gym and I don't want to ruin that!  So I don't know if I will try it or not...

I also found out I am culturing Steno Malt again.  Bleh.  So I started a 2 week course of Bactrim last week.  Could be why my numbers are still down, but I was culturing it when I was in patient too.  So it doesn't explain why they went down from last week, only that they are down overall...maybe.

Amazing Difference in 3 Months from Exercise!!!

This is the story of a Cyster's desire to improve her body and her health.  This is a story with a happy plot line.  This story is not over yet.

Three months ago I joined a new gym.  I had been at my old one for a while but it was boring, I didn't like the atmosphere and I felt like a puny girl.  Then the end of February I found a flyer in the mail-room of our condo.  It was for a women's only gym down the street.  Closer than the other gym!!!  I decided to check it out.  It was a bit more pricey but it had a good vibe and they offered classes for teens which was perfect for my step-daughter.  I was hooked!  I signed up that day and have not looked back since.

With the gym membership (and an annual fee) you can get a fitness consult to see where you are body wise. It was $90 and you get 4 appointments.  I couldn't say no.  March 13, 2013 I had my first consult.  I was nervous.  I felt fat and gross and so out of shape.  I say I FELT that way because while I was out of shape, I was far from fat.  

Here are some stats from that consult:

Weight: 126.2 lbs

BMI: 22.4

Body Fat: 30.8%

Fat Mass: 38.9 lbs

Cardio Fitness: 28.9 (needs improvement - NI)

Grip Strength: 51.6 (Fair)

Push ups (on your knees): 7 (NI)

Sit and Reach: 13.2 (NI)

Plank: 11 (Good)

Vertical Jump: 7.7 (NI)

Fast forward to today.  It has been 3 months, and only 6 personal training sessions.  I exercise 5-6 days a week.  I do cardio for 4 days, strength training one day a week and then I also do Tone It Up.  I am eating better, I am working out, and I am seeing results (and I realize I sound like a dam infomercial!).  

Here are today's stats:

Weight: 121.2 lbs

BMI: 21.5

Body Fat: 28.4% (28% is normal)

Fat Mass: 34.4 lbs

Cardio Fitness: 37.8 (Very Good)

Grip Strength: 52.9 (Fair)

Push ups (on your knees): 25 (Very Good)

Sit and Reach: 22.86 (NI)

Plank: 11 (Good)

Vertical Jump: 12.7 (NI)

Now for the kicker:

I lost 14.25 inches from my body!!!

3/4" from my neck

1.5" from my shoulders

1.5" from my chest

2.5" from my waist

2.5" from my hips

2.0" from each of my thighs

I lost 4.5 lbs of body fat and decreased my Body Fat% by 2.4%.  

My biggest surprise is not the 14" that I lost, but the improvement in my cardio functions!  Granted, today I could not finish the treadmill test (they increase the incline and I insisted that once I hit 90% O2 we stop since my lungs are not fully cooperating), whereas last time I forced myself to finish no matter what.  But my recovery time for my HR was much better this time around.  

I knew I lost weight, I knew I lost inches.  But I had no idea the results were this fabulous.  My trainer asked if I wanted to be on the testimonial board and I said yes!!!  After 6 sessions to see such an improvement, it makes me so happy.  I realize now that the hard work IS paying off.  I may not get back to work, but I know I will be healthier, and if I keep this up, when I get a transplant, hopefully my recovery and chances of survival will increase with the added health on the rest of my body.  

I love this!!!

Everything is Vanilla Right Now

Last Tuesday I had my clinic appointment.  I also met with the respiratory therapist to go over my vest settings and airway clearance tactics.  It is a new thing they are doing to try to get people more aware of how to use their devices and improve their health.  Nothing really changed with my settings.  She mentioned I should schedule in breaks between frequency intervals so I can do some huff coughing.  Its hard when I am not all gooey to get stuff up.  I told her I do the vest not because I feel better when I do it, but because if my lungs still crap out I can say well I am doing everything.  Its the truth.  And at least I am doing it!  Faithfully!  Seriously its been like 3 months now and I have missed a few days to being sick and that is it!  Considering it had been months before this is like wicked amazing.

Clinic was clinic.  Nothing changed.  I am more run down and feeling crappy but I also had the flu and she told me to finish the 2 weeks of orals I was given and see how I feel.  I go back in June and if I am crappy still I will see about IVs.  This is the longest stint without IVs since I moved up here.  I attribute it to my exercise regime.  Whether or not that is true I don't know, but I feel pretty good considering its been almost 5 months since my last course.  My lung function was the same 38%.  Weight was down 3lbs thanks to the flu.  O2 normal, HR normal, BP normal.  Booooring lol.  Nothing at all exciting, and quite frankly I will take it.

I am a little disappointed though.  My clinic is participating in the next Vertex trial and I was asked to do it, if I wanted to.  Unfortunately you have to have an FEV1 of 40% or higher, and even with a treatment I don't hit that mark.  So I am still out.  Kind of sad.  I enjoy the studies.  Maybe more exercise will bump me up more and I can do another one....this makes two in two months I was shot down.  le sigh...

Bitten by the Flu Bug!!!

Yup, it got me, a little late in the season but it got me.  It started with Peter last weekend and I picked it up this weekend.  My CF doctor told me to come to the ER if my fever spiked again and since it was 103 this morning, we decided to take a trip.  Some fluids, a nose swab and a chest x-ray later and it was determined I have Flu B.

They are keeping me over night to monitor me and make sure my breathing doesn't get any worse.  Its very hard to cough since it feels like I have glass shards in my chest, but hopefully the TamiFlu and fluids will help with that.  Looking forward to being back to normal and getting my paper done this week.  I finished one yesterday and printed it out so I am going to make use of my time in here and get the other one done as well as the assistantship stuff and practice for my presentation on Thursday.  I have so much to do this week it really sucks the flu had to hit NOW!!!

I have an appointment with my CF doctor next Tuesday, the 7th, so we will see if this flu did anything to my numbers.  I was expecting to be put on IV antibiotics next week, but who knows now.  Right now I am just getting IV fluids, no antibiotics.  But that could change tomorrow depending on what my culture comes back with.

I might as well update on everything while I am here right....Thursday I started working out with my personal trainer.  LOVE IT!  I was so sore on Friday but a good sore.  I am looking forward to being in shape and toned up.  I cannot wait.  Thursday I also had transplant clinic and I got another clean bill of health and a "see you in 6 months" as I walked out the door.  Love that too!  I go back in 6 months and that will be right when I am finished with the PT so maybe my numbers will have improved some.  She was excited for me when I told her I want to look into going back to work.  She thought that was a great idea, as long as I figured all the SSDI and disability issues out.  I've got a year to do it...I had seen them right before the honeymoon from hell so I was telling her all about that and she was so shocked my lungs crapped out as much as they did on the plane.  She said they would have had to make an emergency landing had I not been wearing my O2 for sure.  She said some people just respond totally different to flying than others....yeah ya think lol.

So that is all.  Hopefully I am out of here tomorrow and back home curled up in my bed.  It took me forever to get out of the house today because I didn't want to move.  103* fevers will do that to you...

Sorry for the Slacking

I just realized that its been almost 2 weeks since I posted!!!  I am slacking and I apologize for that.  Life has been hectic around here.

Last Monday, as most of you know, the Boston Marathon was bombed, killing 3 and wounding over 200 people.  Friday one suspect was killed and the other was taken into custody at a Boston hospital where he remains.  Living in the suburbs of Boston this was a scary event.  When they shut Watertown down (I have a friend that lives there) I was nervous for her and nervous that the guy got out.  Friday was filled with ups and downs as the country watched the events unfold.  We were thrilled when the guy was captured.  Now we can rest easier in this great city.

Besides the tragic events that unfolded last week, I have been swamped with school work.  I have two papers due May 2nd, one of which is written, just needs to be proofread.  The other I have started to write, but I also have another paper due this Thursday I am concentrating on.  Plus my assistanship work needs to be finished by May 1st.  I don't think I went to bed before 2am all last week.  And up again early to get going on the work.  I have not slacked on exercising which is usually the first thing I cut out.  I have forced myself to go every day no matter what.  I read on the treadmill so the readings for class at least get done.

I have also been stressing a bit too.  Next Thursday, the day both final papers are due, I am also presenting at my school's Graduate Research Day seminar.  I have to get up in front of students and teachers and read my paper from last semester, then answer questions people may have.  I am SCARED SHITLESS.  Luckily I have an Ativan left over from my MRI a few weeks ago.  I plan on taking that bad boy shortly before I get up there.  My professor said to plan for 20 minutes in front of them.  Fabulous....Family and friends are welcome so P is going to see about coming with E.  I am honored and I refuse to turn away such a great opportunity.  This will look amazing on my academic resume as well as just my work one.  My paper is on Queen Elizabeth I and her involvement with the Puritans during her reign.  Who knew that working my ass off last semester while trying to plan a wedding, get married, have an extended honeymoon, and lose 2 friends would make me write a dam good paper.  I knew it was good, I loved it when I wrote it and re-read it.  But I had no idea it was THAT good lol.  I should really take more credit for the hard work I put in to school huh?

I have transplant clinic on Thursday.  We shall see how that goes...

Kicking Ass and Taking Names!

Yup that's right.  I am kicking some serious health ass and taking names along the way.  OK maybe not actually taking names, but I could if there were people to take names from....

Anywho...

I have been at the gym 6 days a week for the past few weeks and I am LOVING IT.  I take Pilates and Yoga on the weekends and tonight I did a Body Pumps class with barbells and weights and all that fun jazz.  I took it two weeks ago too.  There is one on Monday nights which I might start going to.  Its a dam good workout!  And considering right now I have less than one full lung working, I am kicking some SERIOUS ASS!  However, I wanted to attempt the Couch to 5k again, so I decided to try 30 seconds of jogging.  Yeah serious fail.  My lungs laughed at me, then died.  My O2 plummeted, but weirdly enough, my HR stayed about the same.  Went up a few points but I expected it to sky rocket.  So looks like I won't be running any marathons in the next few months.  But that is OK.

I have also been doing my vest every single night!  That makes almost six whole weeks of doing it, even when I went to visit family!  And today I did it TWICE!  Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.  I know!

In other news...I dropped one of my summer classes.  So now I will be taking just the two.  I decided that three was way too many and bound to land me in the slammer.  Two I can handle.  And I can switch up my program some so I take one class this Fall and then an independent study next Spring and be done.  The IS is a portfolio class, and it entails just revising papers you want to include in your portfolio.

That is all for now.  I have a clinic appointment in May again so I will see if this exercising ass kicking is doing anything for my numbers.

O2 needs with Exercise Class

Today the class was much easier and I was able to stand for 90% of the standing parts.  It felt great!

Downfall?

O2 was consistently between 86-89% :(

I need O2 during class.

I don't want to wear it in public at the gym yet.  I am not emotionally prepared for that....

UGH

And I need it during my home workout for the jumping jacks and buttkicks.

That I can handle, its at home.

***SIGH***

Transplantation...Is it for me?

Lately I feel like I am hitting the old denial bottle quite hard.  Just thinking about transplant and all the tests I have to get done.  They sent me a list with every test I need done and when it is due to be repeated.  Its daunting.  Especially since I feel healthy and like I might not need to be transplanted for quite a few years.  

The test today, which I couldn't do, just really got me thinking.  If I can't handle that, will I be able to handle a cracked open chest and new lungs?

I just look at everything that needs to be done, all the recoup time, all the tests, medications, appointments and I wonder "is it REALLY worth it?"  What if I end up with shitty lungs again?  What if I reject fast?  What if I die in surgery?  What if...what if...what if?

The choice is mine right?  I know I have a family now, but I can say no right?

Maybe I need to step up my health game.  Maybe I need to kick it into high gear and work on staying healthy so I don't NEED a double lung transplant.  

Life was a lot easier when I was against getting a transplant.  Then again, I could actually breathe back then....

Before Picture

2 posts in one day WOW!

I wanted to post my start picture for my 30 day-must-tone-by-the-wedding Jillian Michaels' Shred.

My gut will diminish.

Tomorrow I get SERIOUS about this.

Spinning Class

Source

Ahhh, the fabled spinning class.  Today my neighbor and I decided to attempt this allusive beast.  And we did it.

60 minutes, 1L of water, and a drenched body later we emerged from the spinning cave.  Sore muscles, aching ass and a feeling of accomplishment!

It was rough work.  Not gonna lie.  You pedal hard, you stand up, you do one leg, then the next.  You WORK.  But it was great!  I wasn't able to stand up the whole time when others did, nor could I pedal like the rest, but I did it.  I worked my ass off.  And we are planning on going every Friday that we are able to.  I am kind of excited.  Its a great work out and I am looking forward to getting in better shape!

Clinic Results

Clinic was pretty much what I was expecting.

I went from 1.08L to .95L (37%-32%).  So it is definitely an admission for me.  Luckily we are waiting till Monday so I can be home this weekend in case P gets a call.  But if my O2 sats dip low or I feel worse I need to just go right to the ER and be admitted that way.  I don't foresee any issues though.

I am actually worse now than I was back in January of 2011 right after the Colistin incident.  And those numbers were before my Albuterol treatments!  And the first one I did I stopped within a few seconds because it triggered a coughing spell.  Never had that happen before.  My airways are definitely not happy campers right now!

My weight is still high for me but it is still in range of where I have been before (56.7kg or 124.7lbs).  So I am not worried a whole bunch about that anymore.

I do need to call and reschedule my transplant clinic appointment.  I have been putting it off but I need to get back on track with that.  And also getting all the info sent to Lahey Clinic again so I can restart the pulmonary rehab program.  I am really hoping that because I am working out 4 days a week on my own they will let the rehab slide....but I doubt it.

My O2 study results had not been sent to her yet as of today either.  So I am hoping by Monday they will be in.  I kinda sorta do want my O2 back, but at the same time, its been cheaper not running that thing every night!

IVs are on the horizon

Tomorrow I have clinic and I am not looking forward to it.  The past week my lungs have really gone downhill.  My ability to walk has decreased - the speed on the treadmill has gone from 3.2 to 2.7 and I still feel like I am running.  I am requiring DuoNebs at least 3-4 times a day (I usually take them 2-3 depending on what I do and how long I am up).  And my appetite is kaput.

My lungs are super tight with everything, even just sitting around.  Interestingly enough my O2 and HR have been fairly good!  I haven't dipped below 90% all that often considering I am gasping for breath a lot.  Of course on my ride home today, as I walked back to my car after stopping at a rest stop, my O2 was 81% lol....oppsie!

Pretty sure I am in need of my IVs.  Now I just have to decide if I want to go in this week, or next week.  I will decide once I see what my FEV1 is tomorrow morning.  If I have declined a lot then I will go in this week, if not then I want to wait till next week since P is on call this weekend.

O2 Study

Friday night I had another O2 study done while I slept.  They are picking the device up today so it will be a few days before I hear anything back.  Plus I have a clinic appointment next Tuesday (May 1) so I am assuming I won't hear anything until then anyway.

It was pretty similar to the last test I had done.  I saw 86-89% a lot when I would wake up, and when I was lying down I was at 90-91%.  But who knows what the machine registered.  The tech said it records the numbers every 30 seconds.  So if I hit 86% for 20 seconds in between two 90s it won't get recorded.  Kinda sucky.  But whatever right.

I am just glad we are doing the study when I am not feeling the best instead of like last time when I had just finished a 3 week course of IVs.  This test will be much more accurate.  Speaking of IVs.  The Cipro didn't do squat for me so it looks like I will be scheduling an admission for May 10th.  It is what it is.  At least I will feel good for the summer!  And even feeling shitty I have been exercising my ass off at the gym 4 days a week.  Go me!

Game On!

My weight back in January was 58.1 kgs or 127.8 lbs

My weight today, thankfully, was 57.2 kgs or 125.8 lbs

I have lost 2 lbs and that was WITH trying.  I have 7.8 lbs to go to get back to my "normal" weight.

So starting next week some friends and I are going to do the Game On! diet plan.  It sounds like a lot of fun.  Basically diet and exercise become a game to play.  There are teams and each day each player wins points for eating healthy, exercising, sleeping enough etc.  There are point losers as well like snacking.  Once a week the players meet up to tally the scores.  The team with the most points at the end of 4 weeks wins.  And you can decide a head of time what that prize might be.  Check out the book here.  I am really looking forward to starting it.

I remember like 10 years ago going to the doctors and wishing I could add coins or rocks to my pockets so my weight would be up, or wearing a lot of layers just to get those few extra ounces so I wouldn't get the "you need to put weight on" lecture.  Now, I wear as few layers as possible and try not to eat before I go because it makes me cringe to read the scale.  I am NOT fat by any means and I don't want people thinking I think I am fat.  As I have stated in other blog posts, I am just uncomfortable with my body and am working on it.  I want the body I had in 2006 back.

THIS body:

In other news....I had my clinic appointment today.  PFTs down a bunch...as per usual.  I was 1.28L (43%) back in January after my 2 weeks of IVs and today I was 1.07L (36%). Quite the drop.  So two weeks of oral Cipro to hold me off from getting lower, and maybe even helping me rise.  And when I go back May 1st, if there is no increase it is IV time.  Which works out well as my class ends May 10th and the next semester doesn't start till the 21st so I can squeeze a hospital stay in there fine.  I will have to figure out then another inpatient stay come September so I am good and healthy for our honeymoon in October.

Ironic thing is I feel fine.  Nothing to report to her.  Good in that sense, but bad that I dropped so much.  Just sucks lol.

Something to do with Myself

Lately I have been feeling really antsy and bored with my life.  The whole not working thing has finally caught up with me.  Not too shabby that I have been on SSDI for almost 2 years now and just starting to get bored.  Of course last year I did 9 months of work and I have been in school, so that lessened the boredom load.

However, the past few weeks I have just been on edge.  And it isn't a depression type edge where I need my meds again.  Its just a feeling of not doing anything and doing the same things over and over.

I thought not working would be absolutely FABULOUS!  And it was for a while.  I worked on my health, I crochet'd, I read a bunch of books, I went back to school, I started cooking dinner most nights, I got to sleep in every day, I could visit family in PA whenever I felt like it.  But then you watch the same shows over and over again.  You crochet enough that your hands hurt.  You read as many books as you can.  You are broke and can't take those trips to PA as often. And then you have nothing.  Believe me, there are more books for me to read and more crocheting to be done, but I need something else.  I need to be doing something that takes me out of the home.  Having more friends would really help, but I am at a disadvantage there.

So instead, a fellow Cyster hooked me up at a local farm that does lessons for the disabled, on horseback.  How awesome is that?!?! I went today to shadow her so I could get an idea of what goes on.  Especially because the website mentions jogging with the horses for short stints.  I was a bit nervous about that, but after being there today I am confident I can handle it.  It felt great being around the horses again and to be doing something productive!

I have to send my application in and then I can start.  Just once a week I think for now as I don't want to overdo it.  I was there almost 2 hours and that was plenty for me.  Not that I wanted to leave per say, but I could feel myself getting tired.  There are some hills to walk up, nothing steep or long, but they do take their toll on you.  Especially since I am sore from all the exercise I have been doing.  I am really looking forward to starting and can't wait to help make a difference!

Exercise Regime - Days 5-8

I may not have posted about them but I exercised Monday through Thursday again.  30 minutes each day on Wii step aerobics.  Monday I only did 20 minutes because I was feeling under the weather.

Still have not lost any weight.  One day I am down 3lbs, the next day I am back up 2lbs and the day after another half pound.  The test will be the doctors in April!

3 more weeks of this and my hair can get done!!!!!!  Very excited about that!  And if I stick with it through May, I will treat myself to the tattoo I have been wanting to get in Bree's honor :)  I figure if I can exercise till May then I can get the tat on the anniversary of her death in remembrance of her.

Exercise Regime - Days 3 & 4

I forgot to post on Wednesday and Thursday.  I did 30 minutes each day again of step aerobics on the wii.  Today I took a break.  I figure 4 days is good for my first week!

Wednesday I had issues with my blood sugars and had to scarf down some sugar right after.  Thursday they were fine again.

Still learning this whole CFRD thing and exercise!