I am OFFICIALLY a Graduate Student!

Congratulations!  You have been admitted to the School of Graduate Studies at Salem State University.  Your acceptance is a tribute to your credentials and potential for success, and we hope you join our dynamic learning community.


Its OFFICIAL!  How awesome is it to receive that on your 31st birthday :)  fabulous present indeed! :)

10 Years but Never Forgotten

For a few weeks now I have been wanting to write a post about today.  It was such a defining moment in our lives.  One that will forever live on in our hearts and minds.  One that we will tell our children and grandchildren about.  One when they say "do you remember where you were when the twin towers were hit?"

The answer I can give is:

At work.  I was 20 years old and had just graduated from college that June.  I was still working at my mail processing job while I waited for something in my field to come along.  It was Tuesday which tended to be a slow mail day.  I was sitting at the machine with my partner when one of the women came in and said one of the towers had been hit by a plane.  My first thought was "wow what a bad pilot!".  Then came the words I will never forget "the second tower was just hit".  Then I knew it was NOT a bad pilot.  Something was happening, something very bad.

We all stopped working and turned the radio on to listen.  I don't remember much of the radio announcements or anything like that.  I do remember one of the women running home to grab a TV so we could watch it.  This was before smart phones and instant news feeds (BTW saying that makes me feel old).  When she returned we sat back and watched.  We watched as the feeds came in about the pentagon and flight 93 in PA.

Through all this I thought to myself that my brother needed to leave the country.  He needed to sneak away to Canada to avoid being drafted because I knew that we would not just let this happen.  I knew there would be a war.  I am thankful there was no draft.  I am thankful my brother stayed.  Not that I wouldn't have supported him but as any sister would be, I was afraid he would die serving his country.  Though a great honor, its still a loss.

Soon after we were dismissed and sent home.  The rest of the day I sat on my sofa watching the news reports come in.  As the towers began to fall I was in shock.  You could see the people running away.  See the dust and debris flowing like a tsunami on the war path.  You could hear the screaming, the chaos, the terror in the voices of those reporting.  NYC looked like a dust pile on the screen.

The images from that day are seared in my head.  I can close my eyes now and see the metal standing up in the rubble.  I can see the firemen walking on the debris.  I can see President Bush standing there with his hard hat on giving a speech.

Afterwards, I decided to make a scrapbook with all the stuff I could get from papers.  I even wrote a few pages out about what happened.  Below is one part that to this day still tears me up:

"I will now go on to a much sadder note.  Yes there is one.  Think of all the children that were orphaned or lost a parent in a matter of one hour.  I personally did not know anyone there but C knows a boy who might never see his father again.  She told me how at school a boy was called to the principal's office from her class right after the second tower was hit.  The boy was a trouble maker so the other kids teased him as he left.  When he got to the office he was handed the phone.  His father was on the other end.  He had called to tell his little boy that he loved him and he didn't know what was happening.  The boy returned to class to get his things and was greeted by the kids asking him what kind of trouble he had gotten into.  The boy responded by saying his father was dying in the World Trade Center and he didn't know if he would see him again."

Here we are 10 years later, still fighting the war; Bin Laden is dead; Saddam is dead.  Life has moved on, but the memories of that day will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

Starting School!

I am so excited!!!!  I started the grad school process (I think I blogged about it but I could be wrong) right before the new year, but found out shortly after I needed a few more history undergrad classes.  So I signed up today for my first history class at NSCC!  I will be taking History of World Civilizations 1.  Classes start this Monday.

It feels great to be on my way to my goal....an MA in History.

My first "independent" move

My previous experiences with moving and why some people may think I am not going to actually move to Boston.

In 2002 I decided I needed a change in my life. I had a good job, was fresh out of college, single and living with my mom and brother. I wanted to move somewhere else. And not just out of my home, out of state. My choice was Arizona. The company I was with had an office in Scottsdale and I thought that it would be great to move there and keep my job. I talked about it with my friend L (who lived in GA – we had met when I lived down there in 7^th grade and we remained friends ever since) who was willing to move too. We talked and talked and talked and nothing happened. I don’t remember why but it never did.

Fast forward about 9-10 months and I am living in my own apartment. I am 22 and super happy. Getting trashed every weekend with another friend L (different one but I have known her since 7^th grade too lol). During our run of the town I make a decision to call an ex. He and I end up back together and talk about getting married. We even get so far as to figure out what to do about my apartment, where we want to live until we can buy a house and to pick a date (April 24, 2004). A few weeks later he ends things with me. I am crushed. Crush doesn’t begin to explain how I felt. Devastated, destroyed, shattered, heartbroken, worthless…you get my point.

It was after he did this that I again thought about Arizona. And seriously thought about Arizona. I looked up apartments, moving companies, schools (I was considering finishing my BS since I only had my AA). I talked to my boss about transferring with the company and things were put in motion. I had to quit my job in PA and be re-hired in AZ. But I was fine with that. I also looked into some other jobs just in case. I found an apartment, I talked with the leasing agent, and she sent me all the paperwork. Things were moving forward. I told my family, I told my friends and I began packing. In less than two months I had went from desolate and heartbroken to a new woman with a plan.

Unfortunately that plan was devised amidst all that heartache. And a plan sculpted with pain will end in almost the same manner.

I drove to my new life. Stopping for a few days in Durango to visit my two aunts and their husbands. I relished in the independence I felt and the freedom to do what I pleased. I enjoyed the landscape and seeing parts of the country I had never seen before. Maggie and I drove along, stopping every now and then to stretch our legs and of course at night to sleep. However, I was homesick. I was scared of what was waiting for me when I got there and reluctant to truly let go of what I had left behind. My heart was not entirely into the move. But I thought that once I got out there I would be fine. I knew no one but I would make friends.

When things aren’t meant to be, the world has a way of showing you. It is up to you though to listen to what is said. My first clue was the speeding ticket I got in Bumblebee AZ. I remember the name because I thought it was a silly name for a town. I was following traffic but the out-of-towner got pulled over. Check one. My second sign was driving up to Phoenix. I was expecting to be awed by high rises and buildings. Instead, it was low to mid rise buildings and mountains in the background. I adored Philly’s skyline and was disappointed it wasn’t there. Check two. My third, and should have been loudest, sign was the complex’s unwillingness to accept cash. I had brought all cash with me since I had closed my checking account (yes looking back I know carrying around a large amount of cash was stupid…I never said this was a smart trip) and only had cash on me. They insisted I go to the nearest bank, open an account and get a cashier’s check. They also said I could postpone the signing until the next day, but I was anxious to not sleep in a hotel again. So away I went. Check three. The fourth, and maybe this is tied with third for loudest, was them not having my key after signing my life away. I was dropped off at my “door” while maintenance went to find the correct one. It took over an hour for them to figure out where it had been. I eventually got into my apartment and “settled” in. Check four.

I unloaded my car, with the help of my neighbor and her boyfriend who were super nice. The apartment was great. I had plans for purchasing new furniture since I left my sofas in PA (way too expensive to have moved). I couldn’t wait to make the place mine. First thing I had to do was get food. Luckily there was a shopping center up the street. I remember standing in the cereal aisle looking at all the food and thinking how the brands were so different than in Philly. I started crying. I wanted to go home. And I didn’t mean my apartment, I meant PA. I couldn’t stay there, I couldn’t make AZ my home. I had been there for less than 12 hours and I was desperate to get back. I knew I had left for all of the wrong reasons. I grabbed some food that I knew would hold me over for a few days and went back to think on my new “plan”.

Phone calls were made to everyone, in hopes that someone would talk some sense into me and I would stay. That didn’t happen. The only person who told me to stay and give it a try was my mom. My friends we ecstatic that I wanted to come home. To this day I remember sitting on the floor in my dining room, knees to my chest, sobbing to my dad that I wanted to come home. He told me to do it if I wanted to. I said I didn’t want to look like a failure to him. He told me that he was proud of me for trying and that if I wanted to come back, he supported it. That did it. I’ve always been daddy’s little girl.

Needless to say I came back home. I was able to get my old job back and I moved in with my grandparents. I was around for the birth of my nephew James (I had found out Tracy was pregnant a few days before I left).

Looking back I realize that I left to get away from my life that was here. I didn’t leave to go on to bigger and better things. I had never visited AZ before; I had barely even seen pictures of it. I knew no one and expected to make friends. I don’t make friends easily. I never have and never will. I’m shy and quiet (yes I swear I really am until you get to know me) and avoid people. I don’t know how I thought I would make it. I wasn’t secured a job and I was NOT happy. I learned a lot from that adventure of mine. I grew up and realized that I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it. I also learned that every action has consequences. I was still paying off the debt from that trip three years later (apartment complex was not too happy I stayed a day).

So you can see why people are skeptical about my choice to move to Boston. But things are entirely different. I have friends up there, I am in a better place in my life emotionally, I’m not moving for some guy, I’m moving for ME. When I first started thinking about AZ in 2002 I thought that I could travel and live in different areas of the country. I thought about North Carolina, Boston and NYC. I even contemplated Florida so I could ride all the time (horses). But I have stayed in PA since coming back in 2003. Ironically, this Thursday the 12^th will be exactly 6 years since I came back. So much has happened since then and I am ready to begin the next chapter of my life.

This is the view from my 3rd floor apartment in Scottsdale.

You know you're obsessed when...

You're laying in bed at 12:30 and you can't sleep so you decide to blog using your blackberry!

Anyway...

I can't sleep as I've stated already. I've been thinking about what Rhi and I chatted about in chat earlier tonight. School, more specifically, grad school and me going. I'm super stoked to apply and enroll. But I admit I'm almost as scared to go as I am excited. It's a big decision. Not one to be taken lightly. It's also a dream of mine. Not one to be taken lightly. As I jokingly said in chat: rock-me-hard place.

I don't want to throw my health away and I need to be honest with myself that I am no longer the same person as I was a few years ago. My energy is next to nothing and I find myself taking days to recover when it used to take hours. That does not make for an easy grad school career.

However, I also know I am stubborn as a boulder and tolerant to things when I least expect to be. In other words, I'll probably survive the first year maybe two with no issues then start to slack off and eventually find myself sick. Really sick.

But do I see it as worth it?

I LOVE my job, I LOVE my co-workers and I really don't want to leave them and it for school. I also don't want to go to the tx surgery table without at least attempting grad school.

Just more for me to ponder. As it rests now I am thinking of trying a semester with one class and full time work, just to see how I do. If it doesn't work I modify. The only problem with it is all me and my need for organization...I NEED a plan! Scratches on paper does not a plan make. I need concrete plans in order to stress less. I need to take some chill pills ay? :)

Well now that I've eased my mind slightly hopefully I can fall asleep and be well rested for clinic and study appointments tomorrow morning.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I did it

I did it!!!!!!

I sent for information about the Graduate program at West Chester University. I chose this school because they have this awesome assistantship where if you work full time (20 hours) they will pay your tuition and give you a $5000 stipend for the semester. Or part time (10 hours) and they will pay half and give you $2500! So yeah made it easy :) Plus its a state school and it's cheap to begin with. And to be honest, I LOVE their courses! They have the most classes that I am interested in!

I thought A LOT about it today and I wanna do this. Part of the reason I decided to go ahead was I looked more into the NCIDQ exam which I was planning on taking in October and it will cost me $1200-$1500 to take it! HELL NO! It will get me no where with my job and I can take it any time I please. I have all the info I need. So maybe in a few years.

Instead I am going to look into taking Grad school classes...I am BUTS haha! But whatever! Hell if I get the full time assistantship then I can work part time like 20 hours at my job and just COBRA my benefits and I will be fine.

Of course this will all depend on how I do on my GRE and if I get accepted to the MA program...wish me luck!

Going back to school

Ok well I was gonna wait a while but then I decided not too.

For some unknown reason I have been really wanting to go back to school to get my master’s degree lately. So much so I have been looking into schools. The hard part is deciding what to get my Master’s in. I have always wanted my MA in American History but then I was thinking what if I did something to advance my current degree, like media design? Then I can be a HUGE asset to my company and almost guarantee me staying there LOL.

I want my master’s. It is one of my goals in life. I have my undergrad and now time for the graduate degree. I also need to decide when to do it. Do I start now taking a class here and there either online or Saturdays or do I wait until I can’t work due to my health then mooch off the gov’t and have them pay for it? The last one is super appealing for obvious reasons (not having to add to my student loan debt), but who knows how long until I hit that mark ya know.

Then I wander about what happens when I can’t work and my student loan debt. We had a convo in chat one night and it seems that any gov’t issued loans will be forgiven when you are out on permanent disability. Of course I would have to check with my lender on this one but hell that is awesome! So then it kind of deters me from wanting to take classes after I can’t work since then I will be doubly screwing the gov’t. Why do I give a dam about the gov’t so much? I dunno but I do.

And of course the schools I am looking into for my MA in History are Temple, University of Penn and Villanova. Temple is the only one moderately priced and the other 2 are expensive. But Penn would be awesome if I could get in there. I would LOVE to go to Yale (always been a dream) but it’s too far away. So the next best Ivy League would be Penn LOL

Maybe I am a total idiot for wanting to do this. Who knows what my health will be like and if I will be able to work once I have the degree. Most likely it will be for a personal benefit of mine and not so much for a professional benefit. Only the media design would be. I did get some info in the mail about that from an online college. But that I am not as into as the MA in History.

Oh well I don’t know. Someday maybe I will be able to take the classes and get my graduate degree. Or maybe the dream will fall to the wayside like that of having babies…only time shall tell.

President Obama

Well today history was made.  President Obama was sworn into office as our first black president.  I have a good feeling about him.  I think he will bring us much needed change and reform.  I was  unable to watch the entire inauguration since I was at work.  But I was able to at least see him take the oath.  We had it streaming on our main computer at work in the conference room so everyone that wanted to watch could.  It was very choppy though and we didn't see it all, just enough to get the gist of it.   I will look for it tomorrow and hope to be able to watch his speech.

I am quite happy with the turn of events and look forward to the next 4 or maybe even 8 years!

December 7th, 1941

To all you history people out there (or I should say just Americans since you have to know what today is) let us take a minute to stop to remember those who fought for us in WWII and every other war our country has been in.  

Today is the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7th 1941.  67 years ago we lost thousands of lives when we were attacked by the Japanese.

Thanks!