Duke Davidson Joke

Duke plays Davidson in college basketball tonight. While it is one of the best opportunities for the country to see Stephen Curry, who is probably the best player in the United States right now.



But, it is also an opportunity for me to share a humorous story that my college roommate told me when he was talking to one of his friends, about the friends little brother who was being recruited by Davidson.

Roommate:So where is your brother going to go to school?

Buddy:Davidson

Roommate:Davidson, I have heard of it, but is it a good school?

Buddy: Oh yea man, they say, Davidson is the Duke of the south.

Google Davidson if you dont get it

Mrs Duck is no Paula Deen

Scene:Thursday night,My wife on the couch, me fiddling around at the desktop computer in the mini office off the living room, stove and oven on in the kitchen.

Mrs Duck:Whatcha doing?

Sparky: Me? Oh just checking some blogs until dinner is ready.

MD:Hmmph, I guess I am the one that is cooking tonight, since you are checking blogs.

S:Huh? Cooking? You are just boiling water, I would not exactly call that cooking.

MD:Oh no, not just the water, but the tater tots are in the oven too!

Note:Dinner that night was Stouffers Creamed Chipped Beef over Tater Tots or Toast, depending on who was eating it.

Nintendo DS brings out the odd in people

Scene:Dinner time, Sparky in the kitchen and Mrs Duck on the couch, plinking along on her new pink Nintendo DS lite, a Christmas gift from her husband. Christmas lights on, MSNBC in the background.

Sparky:I am going to get a cigarette, we should be eating in about...

Mrs Duck:Shhhh

S:Huh? Shhh??

MD:Yes, shhhh I am trying to speak out loud and you are distracting me.

S:Distracting, how am I distracting, I am just giving you an...

MD:God you are such a putz, go outside already, I need to do my Brain Age training and I can't talk out loud with you hovering.

S: (blink) Did you just call me a putz??

MD:yes, get out

O'Reilly to the Rescue

I was wracking my brain on the ride home, trying to figure out what I would exactly blog about today for Nablopomo. I mean, seriously, who wants to hear about my day? I am not even sure I really want to hear about my day and I lived it.

So, the mind drifted to sports, as it often does and I found myself on WFAN out of New York, one of the classic sports talk stations in the country. I tuned in just in time to hear a commercial for Bill O'Reilly's so called TV show, the O'Reilly Factor.

Quick Disclaimer, I hate O'Reilly and all that the so called news channel Fox News stands for *hops off soapbox*

So, here is a Papa Bear on the radio, talking about tonights show. The first segment will be about the Jena 6 and the money raised for there defense that may or may not be missing. During this commercial, which surely can not be live, O'Reilly states that 6 boys/men were arrested and jailed in Arkansas. Now, lets see what is wrong with that last sentence, wait for it, wait for it.

From Wikipedia:

The Jena Six refers to a group of six black teenagers who were charged with the beating of Justin Barker, a white teenager at Jena High School in Jena, Louisiana, United States, on December 4, 2006

Off to a rousing start. Next, we will be the rantings of pundit and comedian Dennis Miller, who I admit I sometimes find funny. Miller will focus on the writers strike in Hollywood/New York and also have a few comments about Redacted, a movie about the rape and murder of a 14 year old iraqi girl, allegedly by US soldiers and the whitewashing of the press coverage my the mainstream media. Oh I am sure they will both give a two big thumbs up to the movie.

And finally, we close it out with a talk on a study in some newspaper about online dating and the fact that 1/3 of women who sign up for those online dating websites and go on dates have sex on the first date. News flash to Bill O'Reilly, women like sex. Maybe not the women you know, but women do like sex.

So lets quickly recap so you can set your TiVos for the late evening showing of this fine television program.

1.A story about missing money raised for accused black men that is already off to a bad start because the lead in is horribly inaccurate.

2.A love fest between two right wing yahoos about how it maybe bad to tell the truth in this war, because the truth may actually be dark dirty and scary and um, bad for ratings.

3.Sex, lots of it and how women these days must just me sluts or something, though I am sure there will be lots of steamy pictures in the background while O'Reilly talks.

Yep, where is Kitchen Nightmares when I need it.

Prairie Home Stalker

I guess you never can tell who is going to catch someones eye, since it seems Garrison Keillor needs a restraining order against a woman in Georgia. I mean, sheesh, he has a nice little voice, but he reads stories and tells anctedotes that are allegedly supposed to be funny. This man is 65 and not exactly a sex symbol. I mean c'mon, look at him.

Though, if the reports are true, I would worry a tad bit about this woman. Nevermind the rambling emails and phone calls, there was also apparently mummified lizard parts sent in the mail as well. I know nothing says I want to sleep with you like mummified lizard parts. And the suspect is not exactly doing a wonder for herself if this quote is her best defense.

Campbell said Keillor had misunderstood the letters, e-mails, packages and phone calls. She said she was never closer to his house than the sidewalk.

Yea, terrific, you have never been closer then the man's sidewalk, great call. Unless you are holding up a boombox over your head when you are standing outside of someones sidewalk, you are probably a stalker, no matter how bad your taste maybe.

More Cowbell for

Amy Ruttan, who is currently firing off salvos in this little youtube battle that contain some of the best highlights from SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy. I figure Will Farrell is still synergy.

Humor soothes all injustices

Ok, the speech tonight had me seething. Angry because Dubya is a boob and the people out there that are supposed to be his check and balance, Congress, have the spine of a jellyfish. I needed a fucking laugh.

So, when I saw Amy Ruttan's post, and then a reference to me and coffee and my nose, I had to feel a tinge of humor and lightheartedness. And then of course, I needed to try and top her.

If you don't find the Darryl Hammond impersonation of Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy to be hilarious, you may have some biological imbalance.

Best Name Ever

Watching the Bowden Bowl tonight, for you uneducated football fans, thats Florida State vs Clemson. And this guy was shaken up on a kickoff play. Easily the best name ever!

Thursday Thirteen #45-The Video One

ThirteenYouTube Videos For some reason my imagination has faded,perhaps I am saving it up for this weekend. So enjoy some other people that have had imagination, via YouTube. Or at least had a good video editor on there computer. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. Now you know that I like football, Family guy, politics, cats, comedy and Les Miserables. Hey this kinda worked out. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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I may need my hearing checked

Half listening to the TV set today as i surfed through some blogs and I hear a commercial for Miracle Gro Moisture control Potty Mix. I may be spending too much time on some of the Mommy Blogs.

Potting, not potty.

All About Me Book Contest, Good News and More Good News

Well, good news for one of the six people that guessed the answer to the question, what town did I graduate from college in.

-Drum Roll-

Newark, Delaware!!

So, congrats to you six people that got the answer right. 50/50 doesn't mean a gimme I guess now does it.

And the winner?

Rhian/Crowwoman of From My Brain to Yours!! I guess it is fitting since she taunted me a little bit on her blog about the slowness of which I presented the contest in the first place. So Rhian, drop me an email and let me know which of the 6 books you would like to receive, gratis!

So, what else could be good news? Well, I won not one but two books over the weekend, from Amy and Colleen respectively. Colleen is even going to autograph hers, since she wrote it. But, that means one book out, two books in, which sort of defeats the purpose of the contest.

So, come back Wednesday for another book giveaway. Another innane question about Sparky will be included. I know you just can't wait.

And now, for a bit of a funny. Wander over to Musings of a Working mom, especially if you have children, know children, or have found yourself hung over and watching a famous mexican american cartoon on Nick Jr or the Disney Channel, I can't for the life of me remember which channel.

Martha vs Maxine

Real quick, don't forget the clock is ticking on the All About Me book contest, which is still available on the right.

But, now, a forwarded email from Mrs Duck, who got it from the Wombat. Now I am sure plenty of people have seen this before. But its a Friday, who wants a serious email right?



vs.


*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.

*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake!
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."

If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please
recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and
I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites
over the crust so I don't.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future
use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!

I shower Everyday!!!

Your Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you! Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down. You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Todays sign that I might be delusional

Richard Clarke, former Terrorism Czar and counter terrorism expert, just said "geeks get it done and Nerds dont" on the Colber Report

Maher Rules Preamble

So, I got plenty of books for Christmas and I am finally starting to dig into some of them. I found this one on my pile, though I think it was a birthday present. I have always enjoyed the stand up of Bill Maher, though some of his acting choices in the past have been questionable. Anyway, as I go along through this book, I realized this is some great blog fodder. So be prepared for Bill to pop up now and again, I know, I know your thrilled.

So as a warm up this one struck me and got one of those post-it stickies:
Foreward page viii



Whatever happened to all the rules we used to live by anyway? Before the "Me" Generation, followed by the "Me Me Me" Generation, followed by the "What Part of Me Dont you Understand?" Generation, there were rules- rules like "No Trespassing", "No Shoes, no shirt, no service" and "please dont touch the Dancers"- and they applied to everyone. Nowadays, these same rules are either ignored completely or viewed more as suggestions to be followed a la carte, depending on which one we like.

Scenes from the Supermarket

A conversation relayed to me by my father
Setting: A Supermarket in Texas, 2 days before Christmas

Dad:Looking for Christmas cookies in the cookie aisle
A female shopper: "You're going to get cookies just before Christmas?"
Dad:"Well, we don't have any in the house,so"
The Shopper:"What your wife is not going to make them for you???"

Dad relays the conversation to my mother later on.

My Mother's response: "Well, She should just mind her own (bleeping) business now shouldn't she"