Last post of 2009

New Year’s Eve… the end of a year.  A time for reflection.  A time for family.  Friends, More food.  The end of the holiday season. 

Time to once again be surprised that another year is over.

To wonder where the time goes.

To think about what the next year might hold.

To be glad it’s over and thankful for a new chance to do it all again.

We are staying home tonight, well me & the 3 youngest kids are.  We have friend driving in from Ohio to spend the night and the 2 nights after that too!

Tomorrow we are planning to take all the kids (well, my 3 youngest again and Sheila’s 4) and go to a hotel with a pool!

Sheila's one of those friends who I met because we have similar circumstances we have walked through. 

Each of the older kids has get together’s to go to tonight & tomorrow Leah is having a co-birthday party at a friend’s house.

I told the other mom that I didn’t think that I would be able to be there to help if that was the date they chose for the party, so I am sending lots of food & my daughter’s party will go on without me.

The big boys will either be at Gpa & Gma’s or friends’ houses.

My first thoughts when I reflect on 2009… well… It sure what a lot better than 2005, 2006, 2007, & 2008!

Maybe 2010 will bring even more peace & contentment in my life and circumstances.  That would be good.

It will bring my first graduation.  First child off to college.  Last child in school all day. 

Hopefully there will be lots of photography & smiling faces to photograph.  My business will grow & I will figure out how to juggle all the plates just a little bit better than I did this last year.

Hopefully I will grow closer to God.  And hunger for more of HIM.

I hope to make more time to be with my own friends.  Putting time into those relationships that are important to me.

Peace will reign in my heart, even if it doesn’t in my house… or my circumstances… & God will protect us.

It’s been a good year.  Healing has continued and become more of a constant than a fleeting emotion.

I hope each of you has a wonderful evening and a blessed 2010.

Is it really going to be 2010?  Wasn’t it just 1990 and I was a senior?  How did I get here?

Pam

The last week & a half… in Twitter & a few pictures just added!

It’s been so busy… It feels like I always say that.  I know.  I don’t know how to go back and catch up… so I am going to my twitter account and copying them on here…

Beginning with December 19… until today…

SNOW! & The first morning of Christmas Vacation!! Childhood dreams & Memories!! :)

The snow continues to come down! So pretty! Kids just made gingerbread houses & I just drank gingerbread coffee! Merry Christmas!!

Jadon & Lucas are out playing in the snow! K is watching from the window. she didnt want to go out. Leah is playing on the computer.

Just took Zach to the school so he can go to the away game tonight. We aren't going its over an hour away.James has barely been off the couch

My kids are very excited to spend the day with their dad tomorrow. They have not visited since summer... sigh...

...all except Kiahna who has adamantly said she is not going. She even told him "no" on the phone after calling him by his first name. sigh

Please pray for my kids tomorrow. Its hard to see much benefit to his influence on their lives. Yet. He is their dad & they love him.

"I hate divorce, says the Lord God of Israel" Malachi 2:16 So glad that my heart matches with His. Hate this. Hate it all. So Hard.

thank you for praying for my kids today. They are getting picked up in 25 minutes.

Trusting the ONE I trust the MOST... while my children are with the one I trust the least.

The sunshine on the snow covered trees is breath taking! Like God decorated for Christmas! WOW!

testing my new phone... gonna take some getting used to!

snowing again!!

kids are back & we are readjusting & dealing with it all again...uhg... i hate divorce. hate it with a passion

Just dropped all the kids off at my parents house for their "grandkids ONLY Christmas Party". Off to get groceries!

just finished the last of our Christmas Cards!

driving zach to a Christmas party & he says in the van "we r supposed to take a white gift or something what's that mean?" (white elephant!)

I now have justification for driving a cluttered van. any time u need a white elephant gift, I probably have 1 or 2 or 3 in my vehicle!!

snow coming down... gifts all purchased... food all purchased... now to wrap & enjoy the day at home with my kids!

J & K both miss school! Jadon just said "when are we going to go to school!?"

I had forgotten how painfully slow my old desktop is... wow.

I guess I am taking an unscheduled blogging break. cant get this old computer to even load my blog! so...

Leah wanted to wrap gifts today... I let her wrap all the stocking stuffers for the other 5 kids! AWESOME!!!

Wrapping Officially DONE!!!! YEAH!!!

On my way to pick up the gift I may live to regret...

Our new 4 legged family member has a name... finally.... okay... maybe not...they keep changing their minds & arguing! Eli? Brees? Elivis?

Zach started a poll on facebook asking what we should name the dog! Miles. Brees. or Elvis. Brees is my choice

I think the final word on the name is Miles. I think. Wish I had my computer to post pictures! Black & Brown cockapoo!

watching Home Alone 1 with the fam & the dogs!! New puppy...Miles... is doing very good!!

Merry Christmas Eve! We will celebrate here at home today! 3 youngest are up & ready to start! 3 oldest are still in bed! I need more coffee

Leah & I are cooking dinner & my parents & grandma will be over to join us soon! So special!

I love the smells of Christmas... right now I can smell pine, cinnamon, coffee, cookies... wow... heavenly...

wish it would snow up here!! we have old snow on the ground at least!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! (what happened to the snow overnight??)

New puppy unimpressed with our leaving today! yap. yap. yap.

This Saturday Morning has a Monday morning feeling... Recovery & coming down off of sugar rushes!

Have my computer back...but have to reset all my programs & reinstall everything... so annoying

waiting for "the princess & the frog" to start with Leah & Kiahna! Zach, Jadon & Lucas are watching "alvin"

home from a fun evening out with my 5 ygst kiddos!

Disappointed with the "Princess & the frog" movie. So great to have an AA princess. So much scary evil in the movie. too bad. wont buy it.

New puppy Miles has been laying with me on the couch all afternoon! He didn't even jump down when he could have run after the kids! Good Dog!

just took pictures of zach doing a handstand in shorts in the snow!

Just took Leah to my sisters. she is driving Leah & Koty to meet the bus at 5 am for a 3 day ski trip

I have to have zach to the school by 7:20am for a bb tournament

watching Jadon play with Miles! Such a patient dog!! yeah!! & thinking I should probably go to zach bb tournament its jv & he will sit bench

have to reload all my software on my computer... & open all the add ons. what a pain!

watching the jets play sa in championship jv bb tourney. Zach is sitting the bench. big surprise there. sigh.

Jets Jv win tourney!!

our Sunday school is sponsoring a roller skating party tonight. i want to lay on the couch but i guess i wont...

my grocery list for the rest of the week is over 2 pages! Just visited the bulk/discount store & got lots of great deals!

WOW! ENOUGH FOOD for a couple of parties! weekend guests & 6 kids off of school for the week! EEK!!!

goodbye Christmas tree!! See you next year!!!

my vacuum just quit & wont come back on... its tired too!!

getting ready to leave for zachs game. wondering when the "vacation" part of this "vacation" starts...

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Now you are all caught up!!  I will try to get some pictures added later today!!  3 kids snow skiing & no where to go… but there is that never ending laundry that just won’t take a vacation either!

Pam

Merry Christmas!

In the business of cards this time of year!  I couldn’t choose a favorite, so I ordered a few of each!!  Here they all are!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!  My computer came down with a virus so I couldn’t post these until today!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

YOUR Gonna Miss This…Moment… Dancing the night away!

Okay, I didn’t even dance.  Stood around trying to figure out how to get pictures that were not either orange or bright white in the lights of Christmas & strobe.  And getting “looks” from my daughter.

But by the time I got home my feet were throbbing!! 

I didn’t get any pictures of Leah by herself!  Probably because she didn’t get ready in our house and I just didn’t think of it when I got to her friend’s house!

Leah and Whitney…

Leah and all her friends arriving at the dance!

Typical Middle school… Everyone dances in their own little circles… except the boys, they stand along the side of the room and eat snacks & drink punch!! 

And my favorite of the night!!

Pam

What about you?  What’s going on in your life this week that you will miss?  Link it up here! 

Making Lists…

Forget checking them twice… I am just lucky to not lose the list before I finish the tasks on it!! 

Today’s list.

Pack gift boxes for shipping

Mail boxes

buy stamps

order cards

laundry

wrap 10 gifts.

I didn’t get all the things done on my list today, but I did do some things that weren’t even on my list.

make chocolate covered pretzels with Leah & her friend & her friend’s mom.

go buy a Christmas gift that I know I am going to regret buying.

Yesterday’s list

finish designing my Christmas Cards

buy some shoes for Leah to wear to the dance.

take the dress Leah wants to wear to grandma to alter it.

buy groceries

wrap 10 gifts.

make “goodie” to take to a goodie exchange.

go to goodie exchange.

Tomorrow night Leah has a winter formal.  She has a beautiful, altered clearance rack dress & shoes from the consignment shop!  And her 2 dozen chocolate covered pretzels to take along.

Meanwhile, Zach has a game and James has a swim meet.

I will be at the dance.

My mom is keeping the younger kids for me.

I got a call from my kid’s dad this week.  He is asking to have them all on Sunday from 9 am to 8 pm. 

It’s good for them to know that he cares.  And it is good for them to spend some time with him.

But, its hard.

It’s hard for them too.  Hard to understand why it’s so rare that they see him.  Hard for them to understand why it is what it is.

Hard for me when they come back and they are full of all the hurt and take it out on me and on each other.  Stirs things up.

We have a full 2 weeks  of school off for Christmas break.  I am praying that I can enjoy it.  That we all can enjoy it.  It can get pretty crazy around here.

I am glad to be all caught up on my “work” & don’t plan to start up again on any new projects until after they go back to school.  Then I have tons of pictures of James & another photo shoot I did of a senior to edit.

I am also taking lots of sports pictures at school when I am there.  I am excited to edit some of those pictures.

Off to bed now… tomorrow there will be another list…

Pam

One Person?

Yesterday I read a twitter from another mom. 

She was talking about how busy her day is.

She asked if anyone else ever had to remind themselves they were only one person.

ummmmm….

yeah.

Only I don’t remind myself. 

Nor, do I even try to only be one person.

I try to be 2.

Or 4.

Or 6.

Sometimes more.

It really hit me, this tweet.

How in the world can I only be one person?

I don’t know.

I’d like to try.

Odds are against it.

As a single parent you already naturally have to do the job of 2.

So…

Yeah.

No answers.

Praying God shows me the things HE wants this ONE person to do each day.

What else can I do?

Maybe it’s more like through HIS strength I will be able to do more than one person should.

Is that it?

Maybe.

Pam

Wind Water & Shopping

It is so windy today that my dog is barking at the fireplace! 

We drove home in slush last night.  Only one small step up from ice.  Going 30 mph it about pulled me off the road twice.

Thankful Zach wasn’t driving in it.

He will have to go out and get experience in the winter weather, but it won’t be dark with a van full of family when he does!  (and I won’t be with him if I can help it!!!)

James diving career took off with a splash last week… it’s been a little more challenging since then. 

In fact last night he tried a dive of higher difficulty.

It didn’t go so well.

It was a “failed dive”, so he ended up in last place. (out of 3 divers)

I missed Zach’s game on Monday night & Leah’s cheering… shopping ya know!

I hope to see & get photos of Zach tomorrow night.

So far this is about the best we could do.

He is dressing JV…

He’s trying to mask his excitement. 

He’s dressed 3 JV Games and played 43 seconds.

Another C-Team game coming up Thursday & Friday nights though!

Weather permitting.

Christmas shopping is going pretty well!  Making some things this week & trying to get organized to see what gifts we still need to find!

Happy Wednesday Everyone! 

Don’t Blow Away!!

Pam

Do I Just forget and go on?

In the past week I have heard of so much pain going on in this world… 

Death.

Illness.

Sin.

Betrayal.

Nationally & right here in our little community.

A good friend of mine knows a young  mother who was killed in a car accident & my friend is weeping with the children while trying to feed the baby a bottle he’s never had to take… while his 2 year old brother cries over “mommy being broken” because he saw it all.

A young mother goes in for surgery and a doctor makes a tragic mistake.  And she is gone.  Leaving a 7th grader and a 4th grader.

Another young mother suddenly has an aneurism and isn’t expected to recover.

A young father, and husband of an old classmate is suddenly killed while at work in an accident.

A young father has cancer & he and his family sit in another country for over a month seeking treatment for a disease that has taken so many.

A highly respected community leader falls to the sin of adultery and 2 more marriage’s go down the drain. 

All of this in my own little circle of life.

I would imagine that each of you could add one or more to this that you have heard in the last week.

I find myself hesitating to enter into their pain.

My own pain is still too close to the surface.

I may have to acknowledge it’s existence if I enter in to someone else pain.

But, what can I do?

To be quite honest, I don’t know what I can do.  But, something in me deep down does not want to just move on and pretend that I have not been through something so tragic & painful… and God has not shown himself utterly amazing in the midst.

What does that look like?

Pam

Keeping up? Not Really.

Wow.  I find myself sitting in front of this blank screen not knowing what to write. 

You all really don’t want to hear from me how busy I am AGAIN do you?

Didn’t think so.

So, I won’t tell you that.

You can just know it.

My dad is going to try to be me tomorrow afternoon and evening. 

My sisters and Mom and I are going shopping.

After I spend all day on a field trip with Lucas.

And then Dad is going to pick up Kiahna from preschool.

Come home and meet the bus for Jadon.

My friend is bringing Lucas home.

Dad will do his spelling words with him.

Then my brother-in-law Ben is going to be at the game that Leah is cheering at, so he will bring her home when Koty is done playing and she is done cheering.

My dad is going the other way with the kids to Zach’s game. 

James will have swim/dive practice then he will go to Campus Life.

Then dad will bring Zach home after his game & put the kids all to bed.

Forget what I said about being busy.

I am not busy.  Dad is.

I am going to be Christmas shopping and enjoying some time off!

(that is of course if I am not too exhausted from the field trip to enjoy myself!!)

Hope they all survive!!

Pray for him!!!

Pam

YOUR Gonna Miss This…Moment… Week 62

I have spent my week going through the photos on my computer.  Downloading them onto a photo ordering site. 

I am working on May.

I’ve been at it all week.

I don’t think I missed much this year!

Good Grief!

It’s a little out of control!!!!

Along with everyone else, I think that this time of year is so busy it makes it especially hard to stop and really capture a moment.

I know I am struggling to slow down enough to enjoy it.

The next few days are busy enough to make my head spin thinking about them. 

Perhaps I will miss being so busy my head spins? 

How’s that for a really lame one.

Sorry.

I know you have a better one… Inspire me!!

Please.

Business & a Thank YOU!

Are you still without a Christmas card for this Christmas? 

I am booking quick photo shoots for this weekend!! 

You will receive one family photograph.  One custom designed card. And then pay for the cards you choose.  Card prices vary based on the style of the card & then of course  how many you purchase. Contact me for pricing.

You will have the option of purchasing more prints of the photograph if you choose!

The cards that I create are done based on the information you give me & the style you want. 

It is an interactive process where I will send you a proof I have designed & then you will tell me yes or no, & make suggestions.  It is custom for your family.  You choose the words, colors, photos & we work together to create something just for you!

See more of the cards I have created here.

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Gift Certificates are available!!

I am including $20 in free prints to anyone who buys a gift certificate to give this Christmas.

Contact me for pricing.  Half of the sitting fee will be due now and the other half at the time of the photo shoot.

I am not booking large photo shoots until spring.

This winter I can only offer quick shoots indoors (which are very limiting) and newborn photo sessions.

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I am very blessed to have found a way to support my family & thank you to all of my customers!! 

I am blown away by God’s faithfulness to our family over the years, and I am searching for words to convey that. 

This will be the fifth Christmas we have went through without HSSH.  Its mind boggling sometimes. 

Another thing that is mind boggling is the financial support that our family continues to receive from this community. 

In so many ways I would say we are “healed” and “peaceful” about where we are.  Yes, the kids have moments of struggling and I don’t know that they are as healed as I am.

The one thing that just doesn’t end is the finances needed to raise this many children.  My brain can’t even go to where we would be without our church’s support. 

Cardboard boxes & rags come to mind.

Seriously.

So, I hope that when you book a photo shoot with me and you work with me, and as I work with your photographs, you understand how blessed I am to have work and to be able to do something I love.  I hope that thankfulness never ends.

Pam

I didn’t think he could dive…

Who knew?

Not me.

So, when he came home a few weeks ago and told me that he was going to dive this year.

I honestly didn’t think too much about it.

He’s never dove before.

Figured he wouldn’t do to well.

Yet another lesson learned from my children.

You never know how good you will be at something if you never try.

You could go in to your first diving meet of the year and win first place.

Who knows?

Pam