Fab Florida Fun

More photos from our week in Florida!

The very alive starfish I found one morning…

I was praying as I walked along & asked God if He had a gift for me & found this within a minute!  I was pretty shocked!  We brought it home, it’s no longer alive… my kids called me a starfish murderer…

My niece Livia & Leah

Kiahna trying cart wheels on the beach…

Livia doing cart wheels on the beach…

Zach talking to Rachel on the beach…

Boys being cool on the beach…

Zach picking on Lucas on the beach…

Adorable Eva on the beach…

Kids being crazy on the beach…

Pam

Spring Break 2011

We made it home Sunday afternoon from our wonderful, sunny, warm, beach vacation in Florida… it was totally perfect weather, almost too much sunshine, if there is such a thing!  I mean to the degree that we were all pretty roasted & many of us had a little sun poisoning to go along with it.

I honestly don’t know that I have ever been in Florida when it was so nice. 

We are back home to 22 degrees & a water heater that leaked all week in the basement now though…

I have a headache too & didn’t have one of those all week down there!!

I think we should go back.  It’s times like this that you really wonder WHY any of us live in the cold north??  I guess it’s home, and it’s where our family & friends are, so I guess unless we do a mass transition south all together, we will continue to call this home.

I have a lot of photos…

I know, you are shocked…

I’ll post a few a day here, to warm us all up!

This was the moon setting at 7 on the first morning we were at the condo… it was amazing…

Kiahna had a really, really good week… I couldn’t have asked for it to go any better with her…

Jadon & Kiahna & I flew down & drove back… from the flight… it went very well.  She was very nervous before we flew, I was a little worried she was going to have a tantrum on me, but she didn’t.

She took naps almost every day on the beach, I am not sure if she was feeling 100%, it was a little odd for her to nap like that, but she was happy… so I am  not going to try to figure it out!!  She needed her rest on vacation too!!

Love the lip sunscreen, don’t you!!

cousins…

Pam

We interrupt this blog for…

SPRING BREAK!!!!

Pam

It’s so hard…

This weekend James came home.  He came to watch his brother in the high school musical.  He brought his new girlfriend.  I have met her twice in the past, but didn’t spend very much time with her.

They were around all weekend, but I am left feeling like I didn’t get enough time… 

His friend Alex also came home with his girlfriend.  The guys are roommates & the girls are roommates… funny!

So, they were back and forth between our two houses.  There more than here.  Friday night when they came, Jadon & I went over there for awhile and spent some time.  Saturday James & Brooke were here for while during the day.

Then we all went for dinner at Alex’s family’s home.  Then to the musical.  Then they came to church today.  They were here this afternoon for awhile before they left at about 4:30.

We discovered that her mom went to school at Nor*well… she grew up in Craig*ville. (all just a county over from us)… her mom was good friends in hs with my neighbor, Julie!  Her grandpa went to our church when he was growing up.  Her great-great aunt still goes to our church (BN)  How weird!

They go away to college and meet people that make the world seem so small!! 

Brookelyn is a very sweet, quiet, nice girl… I have no issues with her at all… except I didn’t get enough time with them this weekend!!

It was wonderful to have my oldest home this weekend… Jadon loved being with them and began asking as soon as they left when we would get to see them again.

I am peaceful about where James is in his life… I just miss him.

Pam

Crazy week…

So, after thinking, praying & reading your comments on my last post, I felt like I needed to call Jim and make sure he knew about the musical.  I called tonight & he said he didn’t know anything about it.  I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but I am pretty sure he was lying about that, but anyway… I told him about it & he said he was going to come. 

So, Zach gets home… he says “I need to call dad about the musical”  I said, “yes, you do, I told you to do that a month ago”. 

Of course he doesn’t remember that I said that! 

GRRRR!!!!

Anyway, I did my part… micromanaged…. uhg, uhg, uhg.

Of course at this point there are no good seat available & they will have to sit on the sides…

WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE!!??!!

I told him he should tell his family… I doubt any of them will come.

I have no relationship with his mom.  She is actually much worse off than he even is, and the root of many of his issues.  His dad passed away many years ago of cancer.  It’s very difficult to explain without giving many gory details, but sometimes people are just not “safe” people to be in relationship with… does that make any sense?

Zach isn’t feeling well, he has a cold, at least I hope it’s only a cold.  There is construction going on at the school that has had his sinus’s clogged for a while.  He thought it was wax in his ear making so he couldn’t hear, I kept telling him I thought it was fluid.  He had the school nurse look at it today & she agrees with me.  So, he’s taking some allergy meds & hopefully will pull out of it quickly.

Kiahna is having good days at school!!!  SO HAPPY for that!!! 

Tonight she was working on her phone number, she’s been working on it for quite awhile, and she just doesn’t get it.  FAS can make learning incredibly difficult, sometimes I just don’t know if she will “get” things.  I decided to put the number to music & she got it!!!!  We sang it about 100 times tonight!  Tomorrow I hope I can remember the tune, I tried to make it simple & put it to Mary had a little lamb, but it didn’t flow, so I am not sure what song it is to the tune of! 

Yesterday I got my new washer & dryer… oh my!!!  As of now everything in the house is washed!!!  LOVE the larger loads!!!!!  MAYBE I won’t have to live with HUGE piles of laundry constantly laying on my laundry room floor!!!! 

I also got my new sump pump & back up sump pump… which isn’t nearly as exciting…but just about as costly…

The basement is slowly going back together, I am throwing lots of stuff away & giving lots away!

My water heater might be leaking & my brakes might be squeaking… but I am out of money so they both need to hold on for awhile!!

The next 3 nights we will be at the musical each night… I am taking both girls out of school tomorrow after lunch for Kiahna’s counseling and swim suit shopping for Leah…

DID I MENTION THAT WE LEAVE FOR FLORIDA IN A LITTLE OVER  WEEK!!!??!!!

Pam

I just don’t understand

Today I ran into my ex-husband’s 90 year old grandma at w-mart.  She’s amazing, living on her own & thinking about others… she’s a devout Christian who never misses a Sunday in church & also never misses sending any of her great-grandchildren a birthday card!

She also has a f-book account!  She saw on there that I had posted about Zach being in the musical.  She said that she had been thinking about calling me, because she would like to come to the musical! 

This is where I feel bad because I didn’t think to call her and ask her if she wanted tickets myself…

I mean what’s the etiquette here?  Is it my responsibility to contact my ex-husband and all of his family to let them know about all the of the kids activities? 

He takes no initiative to find out what’s going on with his kids.  He lurks on their f-book pages, so I know he KNOWS what’s going on.  Yet nothing.  Presale tickets for this musical are sold out for 2 of the 3 nights.  Unless he called the school and ordered tickets on his own, he doesn’t have tickets.

I mentioned to Zach about it, “did you ask your dad if he wants tickets?"  I didn’t get a response…

It’s all really quite difficult for me to swallow.  I want to do the right thing.  What exactly is the right thing?  Is he going to show up at the door and expect to have a decent seat?  Is he waiting for me or Zach to call and give him a call & invite him like a favored guest? 

URG!!! 

Bitterness is still after my soul… It is a patient foe that will take me anytime it can…

I went to dress rehearsal and took these shots last night..

Zach & Kurt are the two thieves… these are taken during their duet

Pam

How I spent my tax check

It was my very first tax check since being divorced…

I had this idea to re-do my living room… replace my 15 year old furniture with something new & pretty…

Add some color to the blah….

My sister & I went and purchased a very cool chair from Pier 1, got a lamp & end table on sale & a bunch of awesome throw pillows!

So much fun!  We shopped & shopped for couches, chair 1/2’s, ottomans, searched for just the right one for my house… found it… great price!

Then the basement flooded…

Now I have a deductible to meet.

I need a back up sump pump, I also need a new regular sump pump.

I have a brother-in-law who can do the work for me on those things.

Then the dryer broke.

I had been given a used washer a month or so ago, my washer had broken then.

So… I spent my tax check… all in one week… not to mention my savings account…

I am blessed to have the cash to pay for it all.  For that I am very, very thankful.

I just didn’t get to spend it quite like I was hoping to… oh well.

Pam

Because I really don’t know what to say…

I have found myself shying away from writing probably for more than one reason… I can tell myself “I don’t have time”, but reality is we make time for what we want to do.

I don’t know what to say might be more accurate.

Or, I am so burnt out by the end of the day I don’t have the energy to write about it.

Or, I am so afraid I don’t want to put it into print because the truth is rather painful.

Or, I am fearful of being mis-understood… or mis-representing… or just plain being wrong.

Because with my youngest, I am on a learning curve every day.  Learning about special needs & FAES… things I’ve never been exposed to on a personal level… things that frighten me & discourage me… and keep the future looking very uncertain.

Since the last time I wrote about Kiahna, she has improved in her behaviors dramatically.

I am extremely thankful.

But.

I have been told that I should “enjoy the good days, because history shows that when you have FAS the medications work for a time and then quit working”

The day that Kiahna got the flu, we also began a new medication.  It was secondary to the one she was already on for ADHD. 

ADHD medications have made her act out more violently…

So, we added a “mood stabilizer” to her ADHD med.

When she got the flu, we had a full week of her being very, very docile & sweet.  It was heavenly.  You have no idea.

As she recovered from the flu & her energy returned, we began to see that her behavior was improved. 

The past week of school has went much better than any time before for her.  The teacher reports that she is blending with the other kids & that she is not disrupting the classroom, and other positive things like that.

For me she has done much much better, but when I tried to take her into a store this past week the “overstimulation” was apparent quickly…and we ended up having a stand off before we could get her back home again.

I feel like I let down my guard & began to feel relaxed about her behavior & tried to do something “normal” with her along & got kicked in the gut.

Then we go to the cycle of my fear creating her fear & escalating her behaviors… Jadon escalates her behaviors, they feed off of each other & reactions can get ugly quick.

I am extremely thankful things are going better at school… things are better, but the condition isn’t going anywhere… & we have a long road ahead… which is overwhelming so I’ll just look at the step we need to make today.

In April we need to re-write her IEP.  I have been in touch with another parent who has 2 FAS children & she is going to help write it up & be our advocate. 

I feel like with this improved behavior the temptation might be to overlook many things that the IEP needs to contain… so we have to put in place what we do when she grows & the medication stops working… very,very hard to think about for me.

Moving forward onto today… when I will take her to church & pray she doesn’t have a tantrum… and I’ll take her to my parents & pray that she doesn’t melt down or hurt any of the kids… and I’ll hope to have enough left to ask her to go sit and listen to the swing choir sing tonight… It’s a lot to ask of her… but it’s our life…and I am not sure what else to do.

Pam

Continuing the update I started last weekend…

Thanks to the flooding, I never got back to that update I promised on the younger 3 kids! 

My fourth child, Lucas, thinks he is going to become a teenager in May… he’s still such a sweet kid without attitude… such a joy.

He probably does more housework (2nd to Leah) than any of the kids.  He rarely complains.

His patience is amazing… but, I  have to say that in the past months, even his patience has worn thin with Jadon & Kiahna’s behaviors.

Jadon LOVES to antagonize Lucas.  We were having mornings where they would wake up & the arguing would begin before their feet  hit the floor.

I decided that the better move for Lucas would be to move him down to the basement bedroom with Zach.

So, I did.  I didn’t consult Zach before hand.  He didn’t react all that well to my decision. 

Poor Lucas… My dad  had some talks with Zach & Zach has accepted & is being much kinder to his new room-mate.

And the controversy with Jadon & Lucas first thing in the morning has all but stopped… which is good.

Lucas’ talents seem to be more in the line of being a sensitive compassionate guy.  He didn’t want to play basketball this winter & he decided not to play baseball this spring.  He is going to try football in the fall for the first time he says. 

Sixth grade continues to challenge him academically… his organizational skills & not being micromanaged by a homeroom teacher have been challenged… he’s working on them, while he is grounded from his game system for his mid-term grade in Science…

*******

Jadon is having a superb year in the first grade.  I continually stand amazed at his reading & writing skills.

Reading chapter books in the first grade is something that NONE of my children have ever been able to do or wanted to do for that matter!!

He is getting along very well with other students & has had no discipline problems at school at all.

This is so nice.  I am so thankful that his ADHD is under control with the medications & his learning & self esteem is excelling…

We have sibling issues at home… but they aren’t extreme with Jadon.  He responds very well to a sticker chart & rewards… which is a challenge for me, because I am a sticker chart failure… but it makes a world of difference with him, so I am doing it.

He is wanting to play baseball this spring, & sign up is today, so it’s right around the corner (he will be my only baseball player this spring!)

I’ll update Kiahna in her own post… (hopefully it won’t be next week before I get it done!!)

Pam

Snow & flooding….

Last week we had our **HOPEFULLY** last snow storm of the season… The kids went out and made this snowman with Zach & his girl Rachel…

This was Friday…

By Monday the temps had risen, the snow was melting & we had a thunderstorm, complete with lightening & tornado touchdowns…  oh, & power outages with flooding…

My basement when I woke up on Monday morning… yes, it was this messy… yes I was already in the process of cleaning out the storage room… which in the big picture was a plus because there were a lot more things that would have been on the ground if I had not done that…

From the other end…

The boy’s bedroom is down there…

And their bathroom… (towels piled up by Zach so he could stand & get ready that morning)

All these clothes were clean & “fell” out of their closet… and soaked up the flood water…

And this was the laundry pile…

The basement kitchen…

Right now every area with carpet is empty & every thing is piled on the vinyl flooring… I donated 3 bags of stuff… free-cycled & sold a few things I was not going to put back into storage… The carpeting is dry & scheduled to be re-laid this morning… then it will need cleaned & we can move back in.

$500 deductible on my flood insurance… my brother-in-law is installing a new sump pump, plus a battery powered back up… that’s going to be costly…

I get my first tax refund since my divorce… I get to spend it on a sump-pump… joy of joys!!   I did buy some “fun” stuff with it already though too… it will be fine.  I am extremely blessed & thankful!!!

Pam