Up to date...

Quick catch up. Little Mighty is progressing well.  He started OT today.  He'll have OT 2x a week and we will possibly add speech and PT later on.  Right now, they think that neglect is the cause of his delays and he'll catch up quick.  His baby sister is going to be born tomorrow.  If she tests positive, C*P*S will take her into care and she'll come live with her big brother here at our house. Bios have been complaining endlessly about how Little Mighty is dressed for winter, his infant car seat and in general, about ME!  I wish the workers would just tell then that MY parenting skills aren't under a microscope right now!!! Grrrr!!!

 I've been preparing for Sprout's 4th birthday. I still cannot believe he'll be 4!!! It went so fast! He loves pre-school and is such a smart boy! Christmas shopping has been put on the back burner and I really have to get on that.  We 'adopted' a sibling group of 3 in foster care for Christmas.  I have been very busy making sure that their lists are done and wrapped and they'll be delivered later this week.  More soon.

Shopping...

I'm getting a bit anxious about New Baby Sister (who desperately needs a blog name).  I already know what her full name will be. Bio parents told me a few weeks ago.  They are VERY excited about her name and if you ask me, it's mean. So she needs a cute nickname and a blog name! I've purchased a few things since I found out we are getting her.  Little Mighty was born scheduled C-section and he was 6 pounds.  I shopped according to that.  I still have to buy diapers, socks, pacifiers and decide what bottles I'm going to use.  I am also crocheting a blanket for her :) Stay tuned. Just a few more weeks!!! 

They asked...

The county worker and Genie, the agency worker, stopped by on Wednesday. The county worker asked if we'd be willing to take Little Mighty's baby sister when she's born next month. We said yes. I know they're not telling me everything because the worker TOLD ME she's not telling me everything. I guess that bio mom gave permission for C*P*S to have her test results from her ob/gyn and they came back positive for drugs. (Little Mighty was also born with a positive tox screen and able to go home with bios).  

Bio mom doesn't know that the baby will be taken and I'm sure she will go crazy.  The county worker also mentioned that bio mom is complaining she needs a bigger house because she wants each child to have their own room so they don't wake each other up. Then Genie suggested that bio mom have the new baby room with her and bio dad and she said something like she doesn't want the new baby in her room because she didn't want to hear her cry. Did I mention that they (we) think that Little Mighty was left alone in a crib (or pack n play) and not stimulated or fed??  I'm thinking its a good call on the county's part! New baby sister needs a blog name! 

And so goes the roller coaster...

Just thought I'd mention that the agency worker has already told me not to get too attached to Little Mighty.  I am quite aware that the goal is always reunification.  But this boy as been neglected for the first almost 11 months of his life.  It's about time he find out how nice life is supposed to be.  Little Mighty is almost crawling now. He can get up on both hands and knees and rock.  He can (with support) lean on something standing on his knees.  He is eating quite well.  A 6-8 ounce bottle of formula for breakfast with a 6 ounce jar of cereal/fruit.  A 6-8 ounce bottle about 3 hours later.  He'll take a 2 hour morning nap.  For lunch he usually eats 2- 4 ounce jars (one fruit and one veggie) and a 6-8 ounce bottle again.  He'll play for a while then have another bottle and go down for a short nap.  When he wakes up he's eating another 2- 4 ounce jars (one dinner or veggie and one fruit) and before bed he'll have another 6-8 ounce bottle.  I thicken his baby food with a bit of rice cereal so it doesn't fall off the spoon.  This also is preparing him to eat thicker textures.  He has no aversion to textures that I can tell of.  He loves Ger*ber puffs and wagon wheel*s.  He also loves pudding, mashed potatoes, scrambled egg, and pizza crust.  He has 8 teeth...4 up top and 4 on the bottom.  He never turns food away.  He will keep eating until he gags.  The first few times I fed him I gave him 8 ounce bottles and then his jar food and he spit up a bit.  When we limit his bottle to 6 ounces he does much better.  He does take a pacifier.  I am trying to limit this to nap and bedtimes because of his teeth. 

That being said...

Last week we had someone new transport for the visit and HE said that the bio parents are appropriate and the visit went well.  Ok, what now?!?! 

On Wednesday, the agency worker (Genie) transported and supervised and said that there were a few red flags.  Bio mom is complaining again that she has to feed Little Mighty during the visit.  In MY defense, it was during a meal time.  She also complained that since I get his W*I*C checks that she has no money to buy food.  But they BOTH smoke cigarettes.  She made no effort to look in his diaper or change him while he was in her care.  She just sits there and complains about ME! 

On Friday, Barbie transported and supervised and she is such a realist.  She told me that the bio dad said that the neighbors smoke p0t next door and it must be seeping through the walls.  (Is anyone else laughing right now??)  Bio mom said I am abusive because Little Mighty gained so much weight in such a short time.  She also complained that she has a Urinary Tr@ct infection and that she missed her mental health counseling appointment and hope she doesn't get in trouble for it.  Her new baby is due next month and I am waiting to hear if they're going to be removing this one as well. 

This ride is crazy and I cannot predict the outcome.  I can only do my best with Little Mighty and HOPE it's what he needs at this time in his life. 

Ya just can't fix stupid...

Yesterday, I was asked to bring Little Mighty up to the county building to have him fitted for a new convertible car seat.  His bios asked the agency worker who, in turn, asked me.  I didn't understand why he needed to be there but I went {out of curiosity}.
Bios have never greeted me appropriately.  Yesterday was no different.  Yesterday, bio mom just said "that is the temporary foster mom.  LM is coming home tomorrow."  While her statement of me being the foster mom is TRUE...she could have begun our time together with a simple HELLO!!! We proceeded to the back room to fill out paper work and get a car seat.  Bio dad is a talker.  He just keeps talking and talking but nothing he says really makes sense or matters to the conversation.  Kind of like verbal diarrhea. 
He was explaining that they needed a new infant seat because the one they had was broken.  (When I picked Little Mighty up from the hospital, they had a brand new car seat.  I chose not to use it because it smelled like smoke.  I returned it to them.  The car seat they brought to exchange was a totally different car seat!)  He said that the one from the hospital was borrowed and had since been returned.  We all introduced ourselves to the instructor and then watched a video of car seat safety.  (All the while I was questioning why I had to be there).  The instructor came back in to the room with a convertible car seat and an infant seat.  We filled out some registration papers and started to go through how to install the car seat.  Bio mom then asked the instructor if she could have a GIRL car seat because she is expecting a baby girl.  The instructor was a little taken back and told her no, they only had gender neutral car seats.  Bio mom started to complain about how LM was kicking her very pregnant stomach and handed him to bio dad.  Bio dad kept telling me what an awesome kid LM is.  (I already know that!)  Bio mom took out her phone and brought up the definition of mal*nutrition (which is undernourishment caused by poor diet).  She told me that since they were feeding him and he wasn't gaining weight that's not their fault and it's NOT neglect.  I just sat there and listened and thought to myself "ya can't fix stupid".  We were there for about 20 minutes before I took Little Mighty our of the car seat. I wondered why no one wanted to get him out sooner. They proceeded to tell the instructor all about how they already know how to install car seats and ask if they could bring home BOTH car seats.  The instructor said that the convertible seat was going home with LM because it's FOR HIM.  They were not happy.  (I think they planned on selling it.  They don't have a car and they don't drive.  The hospital would give them a car seat when they tried to leave the hospital without one).  When Little Mighty started getting fussy I took out the bottle I had prepared and snuggled him to feed him.  He drank about 3 ounces (of the 8 ) and began playing.  I handed him to bio mom.  It was about 45 minutes of instructions and passing the baby back and forth between mom and dad. When it was finally over, bio mom asked if I'd drive them home (they walk EVERYWHERE) and she'd give me gas money.  I said yes because it was raining (but I requested that the agency worker come as well...she said yes)  It was an 8 minute drive home and all bio mom complained about was the fact that she still didn't have a girl car seat and bio dad complained about the instructor because she was VERY detail oriented.  Then bio dad tells bio mom that he's going to buy a girl print car seat and use this new one as a back up.  (insert HUGE eye roll here!!!)  AHHH!  Why did I just waste an HOUR of MY LIFE to do this is if they're not even going to use it?!?!  THEN. When I dropped them off at their house he told me I could leave the convertible car seat.  I told him that I'll bring it with LM's things when he comes home after court tomorrow.  (2 can play his game).  Foster mom -1 Bio dad- 0
:)

Then today, well let me start by saying this...
Each case in foster care is as different as each child. Just when you think you have things figured out, something twisted and crazy pops up.  Little Mighty was left in a car while his parents took his older sister into a department store to use the bathroom.  They see nothing wrong with this...which TO ME translates to THEY'LL DO IT AGAIN!  Let me rewind.  Since visits are now in the bios home I only have to transport one way and only to the agency building where someone then takes LM and continues on to his parents house.   The agency case worker, lets call her *Genie, has transported and supervised visits so far.  Now that visits are in the home there is someone else who will transport and supervise the visit.  Today, that person was *Barbie.  When Barbie dropped LM off after the visit I asked her how it went.  She was VERY unhappy with the bios attitude.  This was her first time meeting them and she was greeted with bio dad coming out to her car with a bottle of water saying that the priest was coming over to bless the house because someone committed suicide there.  She said she was a little overwhelmed with his personality.  Then she brought LM into the house and bio mom was sitting on the couch all quiet because "she didn't get her baby back today".  Barbie was a bit freaked by them.  She said that they left LM on the floor in the living room to show her around the house.  She said that bio dad showed her the paper work from when they left LM in the car sleeping when they went into the department store.  He kept defending himself saying he did nothing wrong.  They kept saying that they weren't happy that I was holding his bottle to feed him and they felt that he should be holding it himself.  (While I totally agree with them...LM is VERY delayed because of lack of nutrition and stimulation. He needs to bond and feeding is one way to do that with an ALMOST 1 year old).  Bio mom told Barbie that the only reason LM gained 7oz (it was 2 pounds) in the hospital those first 5 days was because the nurses gave him minced meat.  Barbie was quick on her feet and asked why THEY weren't giving him 'minced meat' if they knew that would help him gain weight.  They claim they were feeding him and yet Barbie had to tell them to feed him lunch or at least prompt them to ask if he's eaten yet. 

When Barbie brought him home to me I was SOOOO glad to hear her be REAL (unlike Genie) and tell me what really happened and how she REALLY feels this case should end.  While I do appreciate Genie for being impartial I REALLY hope Barbie will be transporting and supervising the 3 visits per week from now on. 

**Names have to changed to protect identities.

I am trying to be very detail oriented in documenting because of the lenience of the court in this county.  I am also getting in touch with LM's law guardian prior to court being continued in 2 weeks. 

Visits...

Little Mighty is scheduled for visits 3 days a week for an hour at a time.  So far, both parents have shown for visits. Today, it was just bio dad for the hour.  The agency worker said that he was appropriate.  Little Mighty came back to me exhausted.  Bio mom is expecting another baby very soon. I don't understand why she'd schedule an appointment during the hour in which she can visit with her son?! 

He gained 4 POUNDS!!!

Yes. You read that right.  Little Mighty gained 4 pounds in 9 days. His little belly is still distended and he has a bit of conjunctivitis but overall he's healthy and happy...and 4 pounds heavier!  This has given him the stability to be able to sit up unassisted.  He is now able to push up on his upper arms and get his tiny legs underneath himself in effort to begin crawling.  Look out world!! Here comes Little Mighty!

Got a call...

I can't begin to tell you how defeated I felt after we asked The Lost Boy to be placed in another home.  I questioned my ability to continue to foster and even turned down a few calls.  I was afraid that the 'grace' had lifted and our time of foster care came to a crashing end.  I couldn't even bow out gracefully.  The home finder called me for a 3 year old girl who was on the Au*tism Spectru*m. She was non-verbal.  I said no.  They called me for a sibling set of 2 found wandering the streets in the county next to us.  They were 2 and 3 years old.   They called me AGAIN for the 3 year old girl.  No placements just felt...right.  I considered cleaning out my foster care stash and moving on with life.  Sprout is almost 4 and we are out of the diapers, bottles and stroller stage.  We pretty much can go anywhere and just get up and go.  A few weeks went by and I got really comfortable just BEING a family...without foster care. 

Then the phone rang. 

It was a Friday afternoon (October 20th).  The home finder called to tell me that they were expecting a child to be placed in care on Monday morning (3 days away).  I said yes and asked her to keep me aware of what was going on but I truly did not expect her to call me back.  Monday morning she called to tell me that this little one would be discharged later that day.  He had been in the hospital since the 15th of October due to neglect and a suspicion of Failure to Thrive.  I met the case worker up at the hospital and was introduced to this tiny, little boy.  He looked right through me and my heart broke as I listened to the nurse tell me how neglected he was.  She said that in the 5 days he was in the hospital he gained 2 pounds and came alive.  With the hugs and love and FOOD from the nurses he was starting to show his personality.  This sweet boy had been left in a car in a department store parking lot while BOTH of his parents and older sister went 
in to shop.  I know it sounds insane...but that's NOT what brought him into care.  I'm still trying to understand the events that led him to us but it sounds as if the Dr was not happy with his growth.  In fact, the bio parents switched Dr's because they didn't like what the Dr had to say about this boys weight.  He has not been growing for quite a while and when the Dr sent them for blood work, they switched pediatric offices.  The Dr at the new office sent him to the hospital and admitted him.  So, he is here and doing well.  For all this little one has endured in his short 11 months on earth, his blog name will be Little Mighty.