Phewww weekend is over, not that I m happy it s over since it's monday today and as u know monday sucks well at least I m not a monday type of person!
So as u know, well u did not know last friday I turned my very last 20+ bday yes 29! *is it a wrinkle on my face? sighs *
So to celebrate it, I went with a couple of friends to a Lebanese restaurant called Rotana Café in Dublin 2, it s a good and cheap restaurant with friends including one lebanese friend, it s always cool to go first time to a different restaurant with a local people, otherwise u don t really know what to pick, the names are usually not common and u finally end up with something u don t like and waste money and never come back. That s how i like indian food, cause I went with an Indian friend the first time and he guided me through the menu.


Anyway, we went there, went out full like guinea pigs *burps* and came back to my lebanese friend s place and as we started with lebanese food well to continue in the spirit we smoked 'chicha' as we say in Lebanon with grapes tabacco *no we did not smoke weeds!*,


I think i smoked chicha once in my life so it was funny to do it while we were listening some local music as well, the only thing missing was the warm weather from Lebanon.

Not everybody was used to smoke chicha like my friend Momo :P

As for me I managed pretty well, plus it was smelling grapes all over the living room after that :P
The next day, I went to see the movie 'Milk' with Sean Penn, It was a good movie based on the true story of Harvey Milk the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California and fight for human rights for Gay.


He and the San Francisco Mayor got shot by Dan White ex member of the Board of Supervisors in 1978. The sad thing about it is that ...in that movie they were fighting against proposition 6 for the gay human rights and now 30 years later the situation is unfortunately the same, recently they were still fighting against this time Proposition 8 in California.
I dunno I mean, depending on the country or the way u ve been educated or whatever for me I think that what happens in the bedroom only concern people living in it whatever it s 2 males, 2 females, or 1 male 1 female, who care, we re not forcing anyone to have a look it or sleep with a person of the same sex!
Anyway, the same night I went to my friend Alon s leaving party, we worked together almost 2 years and now he s going back to his country for 1 year, *sniiif* and by the time he s coming back, if he s coming back I might be myself back in my country, but it was a good fun.


Now i came back at 2, to be wake up at 4 by a phone call who did not remember that there is 5.30 freakin hours of difference between India and Ireland!!!! So, I thought he might be on the internet then I start talking to a friend and we stay more than 5 hours talking, yes yes as u can see by the lenght of my posts I can also talk forever! So I haven t sleep for the night, only a couple of hours.


On the afternoon my first ex housemate in Dublin who went on a world trip for a year lucky bastard, came to Ireland, so of course we had stories to catch up wid :P it was great to see him :P
And then to finally end up with my weekend, Vijay came to my house for diner and operated a reiki on me. The beginning was pretty funny, since I had to relax, and close my eyes, since I did not really know what he was going to do and I was supposed to close my eyes so I was keep laughing at the beginning. He finally managed to concentrate while I was focusing on relaxing *keep relaxing...visualize the relaxation yes I can :P* he draws some symbols on my head and that s it *no not wid a pencil* so far I haven t get a migraine! fingers crossed!
And that was the end of my weekend!!!
Wait before I finish I have to thanks everyone who wished me an Happy bday on the blogville, special Thanks to Hems who made a post for me with the help of Ria, Crystal, Sourish and Keshi (who also made a dedication for me:). And also thanks Ria (again) and Balvinder for their rewards.

Now it s monday evening and I know since I haven t been there as regularly as usual I haven t post any MJJ since last year so i m just gonna finish this post with 2 jokes!


Somewhere in the desert:
A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.
The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.
The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.
Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.
The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window."

New flight attendant:
An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

PS: anyone knows where i can get a new template for my blog I m bored wid this one and I want to pimp it :P

Here is a late version of the 6th edition of the Monday Morning Jokes, let s call it the Monday Evening Jokes, been busy at work sorry ;(
Let s make it short, here are the jokes ... Enjoy!

Breast feeding?
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
"Breast fed," the woman replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."
"I know,"she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."


Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."


The Local Strip Club
Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''


The Monday Evening Video:... still Russell Peters... white parenting ;)

Back on track with the 5th edition of the Monday Morning Jokes, I hope it will be funny, cause i m not a such a good mood, between a b@#$%^ who stole my bin, an ... (did not find a name to qualify him) who chickened out and an ex friend that i still can t forgive arffffff to heal myself i did something that Keshi was thinking on maybe doing :) for the 5th time for me ;)
Anyway here are the 3 jokes u have a bonus one since I did not post jokes last monday:
The Wrinkled Nightgown
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!


Respectfully Cheating
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"


Chastity Belt
A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "
What's wrong," he asks.
"You gave me the wrong key!"

The video of the day (hilarious btw): 'You have an attitude'!

I wake this saturday morning approximately every hour due to jetlag, after being awake for 26 hours it was definitively not my leisure to wake every hours. i had to leave my hotel at noon to reach the Broadway Pier of San Diego where the Spirit ship from Carnival will be waiting for me.

I spent a couple of hours watching TV with around 1h20 min of commercial, every 5 min i had 10 min of commercials, and boy i m glad i m not living in us, otherwise in less than 20 min i would have bought already 3 items!
My cab picked me up and we reach the pier around 12.30PM The ship was not there yet so i wait on a bench, i was not allowed to reach the pier since i did not have a 'Fun pass' cause i was not technically paying for the cruise.
The ship arrive 1h later, it was ok for me to wait, because it was sunny with a little bit of wind... simply perfect!
My friend called me and informed me that she was really busy and won t pick me up right away, so i wait 1.5h easily still resting on my bench.
She finally picked me up, so happy to see her after a year actually since the last time i saw her it was in october 2007. We entered the ship quickly passing by the customers who did not have the chance to know a member of the ship ;)
Since she was still working I went to sleep in her nano room, yeah, it is quite small and u have to share with one person!!!! I know, anyway, I slept for a couple of hours then we hit the restaurant.
Now the flash news of the day: for the first time in 2 years I got my first sunburn!!!! i was so happy, how did it happened? Well I spent 2.5 hours sitting on my bench waiting for my friend, it was sunny and a bit windy I did not felt the heat at all, the funny part is that only my left arm was red like a lobster but it is quite fine, cause we have the Biafine, fantastic creme to put on the sunburn, it stinks a bit, only available in France but so good my friends!

Now, today sunday, it is sea day, like tomorrow, we need 2 days to reach Puerto Vallarta :) So this morning i went to deck number 9 to the Lido for my breakfast and this is was the view i got while eating it :)


I then reached the entry D for the drill (not too sure for the spelling) during 15 min the staff explains u what to do in case of the remake of the Titanic, where to go, how to wear the safety orange thingy to float in the water etc etc, so all the passengers were stand up on rows, waiting patiently to get over it or fighting hard to put properly their safety equipment i must say that some of them would be probably dead by now!


Then just before lunch i got for my first time my first cocktail, ok it was not a Mojito nor Isaac served me my cocktail, but it was Roma who served me a margarita! And it was good my friend.


It is now 6PM and I spent the entire afternoon sleeping in front of the pool, ok the water direclty coming from the Pacific Ocean and was a bit cold but the sun was damn hot, i made sure i put some sunscreen this time!!!
so this is it for today, now i m getting ready to have my diner with the Captain of the ship, well i won t seat next to him but it is the official night, then we will have a show and then probably finishing by the nightclub!

Tomorrow is also a Sea day, so i ll probably keep working on my tan.
Funny note: every time Chris who is apparently the Activities on board director is making an announcement on the microphone like 'Don t miss the Chicken Olympics, deck 9 at 3 this afternoon' (have no idea what was the chicken olympic btw) well every time he s saying the word Deck, i heard differently, by that i mean replace 'e' by 'i' in the name and u ll see what i m talking about, so every time i m laughing by myself!!! (no i m not a perv, have seen some passengers laughing as well when hearing him ;)

Good night/morning People, sorry I won t have time for my MMJ (the internet connection is damn slow and expensive on board) ... i know i know don t cry People, i know it s monday morning for u and u have to work while i m working on tan, so to forgive me here is a small joke to replace temporarely my MMJ.

The wrong way:
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there''s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Milking the cow:
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied up her left to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milking her again she knocked down the bucket with her with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.

As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!

:D
PS: as I said my internet connection sucks, and i can t put pics on my post :( so i ll put them later :)

Welcome to the 4th edition of the MMJ. I know it s not monday morning anymore but i m beeezy as a bee today, did not have time to do it yesterday.
So It will be short and sweet :) By the way it will be my last MMJ till november since i ll be busy drinking Mojitos and working on my tan i won t have time for the MMJ, don t cry People I know it gives u some fun on a grumpy monday BUT MMJ will be back :)

Sex Therapy:
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"
The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!


When I say Chuck u say:
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''''I''m Eddie, I''m here to pick up Betty. We''re going for spaghetti, is she ready?''''
"No," the farmer said.
The second beau came to the door and said, ''''I''m Joe, I''m here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?''''
"No."
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ''''Hello, my name is Chuck.''''
The farmer shot Chuck...

The Monday Morning Video: The Birds



Happy Monday

Technically it is still Monday morning for me, since it s 11:45 AM, I am a bit late today, sorry :(
Here is the Joke of the day:

Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

The Indian Cartoon of the day:


The Funny Videos:
To finish with this MMJ here two videos, I ve seen them many times but still I keep laughing all the time. The first video, is not the actual fell which is funny, it is the tv show anchormen :)



And the last one, last only 5 seconds, but it is worth watching it, actually we were wondering whether he did it on purpose or not. For me, I think he did not do it on purpose. What do u think?


Guy Falls on Beach - Watch more free videos

Welcome to the second edition of the Monday Morning Jokes, I hope u like the first and the second one will be even better :D Today is a special International MMJ. Well technically it is still sunday here, BUT it s already Monday in India :)

Talking Italian

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''


The Blonde Joke:


There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"

The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?"

But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.'' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.

The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!''

The video: Talking like an Italian in English



Tomorrow tuesday I have my first Humorous Speech Contest, I m stressing a bit, though I won t be able to participate to the next round since i m going on holidays, so I ll just do it for fun then :)
Have a gre8888888t monday guys!

Hey, today is Monday (well technically it is still sunday in Ireland but already monday in France and India ;), and as usual mondays sucks for me,

BUT i ve decided today to say NO to Monday sucks! That s right, I m trying to stay OPTIMISTIC. As I said, on a previous post I have decided to do the Monday Morning Jokes every...well Monday to bring the Smile on people face, well at least on mine ;)

WARNING:


So today Jokes are:

What's on your back?

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an French, and a Belgium (u can change the nationality to make it more funny, I changed it for myself), and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"

The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Belgium, "What do you want on your back?"

"I will take nothing!" says the Belgium, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.

"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the French.

He responds, "I'll take the Belgium."

The Blond Jokes:


And I apologize first for any blond who will read my post, nothing against them, u can switch the blond by the brunette if you want ;)

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."

---------

A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Where you a natural Blonde?" "Yes I was." she replies. "why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"

These were the jokes of my first Monday Morning Jokes, tell me if u like it, so i can continue my MMJ each Monday Morning ;)

And to finish, a funny video the Ninja Cat...enjoy!