PS: It might me the longest post u will ever read if u consider the fact that both Keshi and I looooooove loooooooong posts;)
PSS: feel free to use the comment area to leave ur thoughts for both Keshi and I, WE will reply ;)
PSSS: if u want to be nasty cause u're not strong enough to handle two hot chicks like us then skip the comment section ;)

Thanks beautiful Cess for this great idea! I feel privileged doing a joint post with a single, hot, smart and happening chick like you, all the way in France. We do share a lot in common when it comes to our eternal single lives lol, so it's good to put our thoughts across and see what's going on...and let the readers ask us questions as well as give us their opinions. So here I go:
Many people do ask me why I'm still single (being the hot sexy smart and witty momma how can I be single right? o nos the world should have ended yesterday!). Well the answer to that is quite simple. Cos, I'm not desperate.



ok ok calm down, that was just a joke. The real answer is not that simple. As much as I'm loveable and adorable *love me love me doooo!*, I'm not a donkey. No, this time it's not a joke. Most men do think that women are their donkeys. The first few courting days or even months will be so romantic and I'll-do-anything-for-u-babeh kind. But later on, when the rosy flush from the I-just-met-u moments vanish, when the suga candy first few dates are over, the man becomes a donkey rider *no pun here!*. Here's why:
-The man watches TV all day long
-The man expects food on the table and the washing done
-The man leaves the toilet seat up and dirty towels on the floor
-The man scans other women
-The man becomes stingy
-The man brings down his massive family and expects his woman to smile all day long
-The man starts working long hours
-The man is a momma's BOY and clings on to her skirt
-The man no longer wants to go out and have fun
-The man gets jealous when his woman talks to another man
-The man feels insecure about the woman's career
-The man thinks the woman's tears are fake and boring
-The man shows his true colors
-The man shows the MAN
-The man expects
-The man expects
-The man expects


yes, I better put a stop right there before I repeat the same line again and again. Most men expect their women to DO everything for them. btw it's no longer 1924. C'mon guys, grow up! I'd rather be single than be a donkey.
I mean, I have seen my mum, aunts, married friends and cousins who do everything as per their husband's wishes - some even stopped their careers and stopped wearing short skirts? To me, there has to be mutual respect, love and commitment. There can't be one person doing everything at any emotional costs, or changing their whole lifestyle just to suit the other.
To me, that's not love...that's a business plan. Commitment doesn't mean kissing, having babies and then watching FOOTY all day long. It's much more than a physical need. Hence, I haven't found the man I think I can spend the rest of my life with...not yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for someone perfect...

I just want a man who can love me for me, and not for someone he wants me to be. So simple a request yet so hard to come across. Go figure!

Now that Keshi explained u why she is single, it is my turn ;)


-the wrong signals:
what is WRONG with you guys??? Seriously, when it s black it s black, why are u giving me some signals to make me believe it s yellow?
When u re calling me sweetie/my love/babe and I m not your friend-friend what should i think?
When u ask me to be with u tonite and cancel my plans and u don t show up, or when u re begging for it and u re coming with 3 friends, what should i think?
When u re telling i m pretty and then u asked me for my friend phone number, what should I think?
For some reasons, nowadays, men are sending more and more wrong signals, now of course not all the men are like that, and I might misunderstand the signals but comon!!! Specially when u write... be careful, cause I have enough to believe it s yellow when it s black, going to a point that i don t pay attention anymore to any signals and might miss something good!


- i don t want to date a woman
Have u ever been dumped like a woman will dump a guy (according to man s description of it). The typical break-up sentences like:
" it s not you, it s me"
" I did not have the sparkles" seriously!!! U re daring to say in front of my face u did not have the sparkles??? What kind of man will say that?
" [silent]" yes, my favorite one, u don t return my calls, u avoid me when u see me. I don t say i will spend the rest of my life single, but if i do have a man, i want a real one, I don t need to date a woman, I am a woman ;)
More and more, I don t know if it s the new generation, if it s a European thing, but men are getting as complex as women, damn it, this was OUR thing. Saying something when thinking differently, from my recent previous relationships I had the impression I was the man in the couple.
ME: what do u wanna do tonite
HIM: what you want
2 days later
ME: what do u wanna do tonite
HIM: what you want
1 wee later
ME: what do u wanna do tonite
HIM: what you want
Will you ever take a decision...once, u might say 'yeah today i want to go to a movie" It does not mean i ll say yes to everything u say but I need a challenge, it can be fun to do it just to argue with u, I don t need a man who does not take a decision, follow me like my kid ;) Don t be a woman nor a kid. You can be sensible and understand me, YES, but be a MAN too, is it too much to ask? Tell me, i d like to know!


- wrong place:
ok this one is pretty personal. As u know or not i m French and I m living in Ireland for professional reasons. Now I have been there for 3 years, I had some 'fun' definitively and I don t regret it but I can t possibly see myself living in Ireland for 2 main reasons:
-the weather, I m from South of France i m used to hot summer not rainy year ;( even if it s been 3 years, I haven t get used to it.
- the food... sigh...booohooohoooh (me crying)....booohooohooo (me crying again) Food is a part of a culture in France, food in France is like Religion in India. I m from a family who gather around in the kitchen, cooking with pleasure, for family, friends, friend of friends! My fridge is full of water only, no saucisson, paté, vegetables ;(
So why am I saying that? I don t see myself involved in a relationship here in Ireland, I don t see myself fall in love with the somebody here, mostly because I don t want to stay here in the future and I don t want to go through a break up if i know already that i will leave this country.

- I am a strong and independent woman:
my parents raised me in a way that i can take care of myself no matter what, and that s what I ve done until then. I m also not a girly girly, I have some friends that are able to laugh to a man's joke even if it s not funny, to make him feel funny or confident. Well I can t , man if the joke is not funny ....it's not funny! why should i laugh. I mean I can do the girly girly, the one who needs a tough man to take care of her... for one day! but i m not the kind to lie, i am who I am take it or leave it that s it. I have done some compromises in my previous relationships and I don t regret them but don t be with me and try to change me completely cause it s not gonna work.
Years ago, and u kind of learn it when u are a child, the Father is one who decide, he is the Chief of the Family, the one sitting at the end of the table waiting for his wife to serve him. Well things change, u can sit at the end of the table and i cook for u today, how about u do it tomorrow for me?


Yes, I m asking for the equality, because I don t need a man to change the wheel of my car, I can do it. I don t need a man to pay for everything, cause I have a job. No, I need a man who I can share things with, raise a kid with, fight with, somebody than can support me but let me free to take my own decision...
I know it s a lot to ask, and because of it I might spend the rest of my life single. As for now, I m happy with me being single, I have a work who keeps me occupy, I have many friends, and lots of male-friends (that I hope will still be my friends after this post).

Phew!!!!! I think we are done with this post now ;) Now it is your turn to ask us questions or give ur thoughts ;) Keshi and I will both reply to ur comments ;) In the mean time you take care people!

Couple months back now, during one of my Toastmaster International Meeting, I was asked to participate to a Debate, the subject was: Life is Easier for Men, they asked if I wanted to propose the motion or oppose it! What can I say, it was my duty as a Feminist to propose the motion of course. To oppose the motion, Mickael. Now, most if it was turn in light way, i avoid difficult topics, just mentioned them at the end of the speech. You have to know, that I m from Europe, and I m generally talking about what I ve seen there, it might be different outside Europe, specially India, and I would love to know how it is there... please Gentlemen don t be offended, there is nothing personal ;) At the end of the Debate, we voted to see who was in favor of the motion or note, and I won ;) with women and men votes ;) Though, there is one lady who was totally against me, very very old school ;(

MAN ;)


WOMAN: Though I would not agree with the tiny 'driving skill' I believe I am an excellent driver ;)

Mister Toastmater, Madame President, Fellow Toastmasters, Welcome guests and Ladies Toastmasters(I generally don t mention Ladies when doing a speech but it was for the good cause).

Life is easier for men well Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not a question, this is a FACT.

the INSEE, one of the biggest survey company showed the difference of salary between woman and man. In overall, net salary 20% of difference, 20. Let me ask you a question...WHY? One of the reason is because well you know you might get pregnant... oh ok, thanks to the small contribution of the gentleman (sorry ;) indeed we can but who's gonna carry the baby for 9 months, gain weight, be in pain during the birth... the woman!

Now, as a woman, you want to please your husband, he wants to go camping, do you think he s going to choose a camping based on your needs
(Woman) 'euh honey, where are the bathroom?',
(Man) "Bathroom!!!, this is a camping ok, enjoy the nature"
No need rite, hey here is a tree grant! zip (turned my back, whistle and pretend to) however for a woman, in case your did not noticed, it s over there (show the knees) that our trouser are going to be, so a tree wont fit!

How about waxing, how many hours we spent shaving our legs, arms and the rest, what would he say if we don't
(Man) 'OMG that's gross, don't you wanna shave your legs, it s good for you honey'.
Do we complain about the fact that you guys have hair everywhere,here (show legs), here (show chest), here (show nose, ear) even sometimes here (show the back).

Even when we are kids, life is easier for boy, what do u get for Xmas, a GI JO to play tough, as for girls, was looking on Argos recently u can get a vacuum cleaner!!!
When a man is sick, OMG this is the end of the world.
(Man) 'Look I cut my finger with a paper, ahhhh i m bleeding, arfffff i m dying..... '
Don t you think we have enough with the kids. Don t do that, don't touch that, not in front of the kids, don t wear that.

Speaking of wearing: an outfit for a man during a weekday: suit, shirt, tie, socks and shoes, (Man) 'omg honey can you tell which tie should i match with my shirt.'
An outfit for a woman during a weekday: top plus bottom, matching socks and shoes, proper underwear underneath to avoid nasty comments, purse, make up, perfume and hair done.
An outfit for a man during weekend: whatever shirt, jeans and sport shoes.
For a woman: if you dare wearing that kind of training outfit for gym, your husband,
(Man) 'euh honey you re not going out like that rite, you re going to change before!'

One of the worst thing would be, you are going back home it is late, you are exhausted because you have been working like your husband, you did not even remove your shoes you can hear your husband sitting on the coach watching tv: 'what s up for diner?'
Did it never occur to you that you can cook: 'here is the fridge and the oven, let me introduce you to the kitchen.' And in case, he finally decided to cook, he will mess up completely the entire kitchen and will say to you: 'well I cooked u clean now!'

Of course I can go on and on with even more example on how life is easier for men like they don t or rarely have sexual harassment, marital fight, macho joke but to conclude my speech, let me give you a quote from Charlotte Whitthon, Former Mayer of Ottawa
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”

So, for all the women here and the men who are brave enough and smart ;) to face the truth, you MUST vote in favor of this motion.


So, what do think, easier for men..women...? But Remember...

;)