Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

Remember that your presence is a present to the world. Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation. Remember that your life can be what you want it to be. Remember to take the days just one at a time. Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles. Remember that you'll make it through whatever comes along. Remember that most of the answers you need are within you. Remember those dreams waiting to be realized. Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance. Remember to always reach for the best that is within you. Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets. Remember not to take things too seriously. Remember to laugh. Remember that a little love goes a long way. Remember that a lot goes forever. Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting. Remember that life's treasures a...

I'll be offline for the holiday weekend. Catch up with you all on Monday. Enjoy yourself whatever you do.

:-/

People are getting on my last good nerve. They've been getting on my nerves with bullshit but I've been overlooking it. Now my good nerve is being worn out and I am about to make some changes. Why did someone from my past who ended out friendship on bad terms email me like nothing ever happened? Why did someone who is supposed to be a cool friend email me and set my whole day off kilter? Just in case you are reading this, I asked you months ago about your stuff. Now that I don't have to time to bring it to you I am feeling pressured...like I shouldn't have ever accepted it it in the first place. I appreciate your offering it but I feel like you think I don't want to return it and that's f-cked up since in all the years I've known you I haven't done anything like that. Why does my ex still have his health insurance come to my house even though he hasn't lived with me in over a year? Why did I find out that he has a daughter. Congrats in case yo...

This sounds absolutely amazing!!! As an aside, I think I will pick up a bottle of honey wine (Mead) enjoy once I am able to settle in late tonight. FEATURED RECIPE Apple, honey sorbet with sauce Fresh pomegranate juice, honey, green cardamom and a splash of Benedictine provides gorgeous color for a sweet sorbet. Servings: 6 to 8 Ingredients: 1/2 cup sugar 2 cups plus 2 Tbsps. bottled water, divided 1/2 cup high-quality honey (such as wildflower) 5 cups peeled, cored and diced apples 1 tsp. ground cinnamon 1 cup fresh pomegranate juice 2 green cardamom pods, crushed 1/4 cup honey 1 Tbsp. Benedictine liqueur 1 cup pomegranate seeds 1 cup dried dates, seeds removed and diced FULL RECIPE >>

Does it get any more bizarre? You also know that the woman whose apartment was struck is the same woman who was knocked out by a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon a few years back. Lesson: respect Karma and live each day as if it will be your last. Calif. crash is Lidle déjà vu A man who was supposed to be on the doomed flight that crashed into an upper East Side high rise, killing Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle and his flight instructor, has died in a California plane crash, a newspaper reported yesterday. Bob Cartwright, 68, was killed with two other men Tuesday when their twin-engine plane crashed on the shore of Big Bear Lake. The Inland Valley Bulletin said Cartwright was a friend of flight instructor Tyler Stanger, who died with Lidle when their single-engine Cirrus SR-20 crashed into the 30th floor of an apartment building on E. 72nd St. After the Oct. 11 crash, Cartwright told friends ...

"Friend" who I mentioned before ... you know, the one who cursed me out for no good reason ... seems to have forgotten that she ain't the boss of me. Why do some people seem to think that they are the only ones who know what the hell they are doing? Other people have ideas and opinions. Why do you feel that yours is the best? I can't believe the way some people operate. I really wish I could get into detail about what is going down but it's some B.S. for real and I might have to flip the switch on a bitch if I'm caught on the wrong day. Just because I'm laid back don't mean I won't go off. I'm a Taurus through and through. I am content to roam around the pasture calm, cool and collected but piss me off and it's over. I don't like to go there but folks are pushing me....excuse me while I go sharpen my horns.

I didn't have time for the massage, mani-pedi or the wine. I did get a cocktail though. A second one would have set the mood right. As the day wore on, my nerves settled and by the time I hit the sheets I was ready to give myself over to Mr. Sandman. I'm pretty relaxed today. Still needing some pampering. My nails are atrocious. My body is sore but next week is Thanksgiving and I will get a little break from my ridiculous schedule. We all complain about the background of Thanksgiving but think about it...after Memorial Day the holidays are far and few between unless you are Jewish or work in a public office. Even banks don't close on all the holidays anymore (at least mine doesn't). Anyway, I'm rambling. And oh yeah, How are YOU?

No, I'm not talking about a coffee, I am talking about needing to vent. I have so many things bottle up that I feel I will explode when least expected. Right now I am on a slow simmer but I know myself well enough to know that I am almost at the boiling point. Should I snap on someone and release this pent up energy? Treat myself to a mani-pedi and massage even though my budget says otherwise? Keep being walked all over and hope this feeling goes away? Drink a bottle of wine and call it a night? All of the above? And why does my kitten act like my hard headed child? And why do I push myself to the breaking point and then drop out of society because I am so burned out? The reality is that I really just want to go away. I need to get away. But I'm stuck here. I felt like things were going along well then it seemed I lost control. I wouldn't consider myself a control freak but lately I've felt that I've lost my voice. I am surrounded by people who are unreasona...

One of the most loving things we can do is ask someone how they are and REALLY listen to the answer. So many times there has been something under the surface that I have buried and people have overlooked simply because the don't care. My former hairdresser used to bring me to tears with three simple words: How.are.you? I would break down because she knew that my standard okay or good was not an honest answer...it was expected. Let's start taking time to really listen to each other. So many people feel like there is no one in the world who cares about them. I watched a grown man break down into tears on Sunday because his father never showed him love. I watched my own mother trying to prove herself to her own mother and siblings well into her years because she never felt cared for. Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway had it right when they sang "where is the love"? I'd love to know the answer to that question. And how are YOU today?

I just lost my second cousin in a month to a heart attack. Men, please take care of yourselves. Love, Berry

I'm talking about that bitch that I'd tucked away for far too long. I've been too nice lately and I'll be damned if people don't seem to think that kindness is a weakness. I've been closed mouthed for too long but that is about to end. I try to stay positive but negativity is everywhere I turn. I know the laws of the universe say that negative is attracted to positive but this is ridiculous. Why can't we just all just get along and live drama free? It doesn't make for boring world...really, it doesn't. We all can't have our way. What is wrong with compromising sometimes? It doesn't make you weak. I have the right to live in peace and harmony. I'm tired of people and their negative attitudes. That shit is draining!

Longtime readers of this blog know that I get home sick from time to time and now is no different. Contribute it to the unseasonably warm days, the impending holidays of the missing of one Supastar. What I miss most about home...my mom, my brother, my family, my car, my home. I miss the neighborhood I grew up in. I miss being able to hop in my car and drive down to L.A. to a studio to try something going. I miss holidays with family members. I miss year round sunshine. I miss home. Note: This time next year, I plan to be back home.

Gerald LeVert 1966-2006 Since I first learned of Gerald's passing this afternoon he has been heavy on my mind. I was just sitting here listening to DJ Maurice Watts playing some classic Gerald and it reminded me about the type of guy he was. You see, I never met him personally but I felt like I always knew him. Let me explain, beyond just watching him, his dad and brothers perform and by watching his daughter experience her Sweet 16 on TV, I've had brushes with Gerald's spirit. The first was through a member of a group from the early 90s discovered by Gerald called the Rude Boys . I had an unfortunate encounter with them during their one hit wonder days when they came to my hometown to do a TV show hosted by Dominique DiPrima. The next time I had a brush with Gerald was while working in publishing. The project we were working on was called Black Men: In Their Own Words . Gerald's was one of the interviews we pored over for inclusion in the book. His story rea...

Dear Corporate Black Man on the Downtown Train: Thank you not acknowledging me as I entered the train and headed to the seat that I'd already scoped out before you even arrived. I love the way you showed up out of nowhere and confidently strided to the aforementioned seat without giving me a second thought. I stood there in my pinstriped suit with the blue collar blouse and high heel boots waiting for you to the do the gentlemanly thing and at least offer the seat before sliding your narrow behind in it but you didn't. You just ignored me, sat down and opened your paper to go the 3 stops you needed. Instead, I was left to squeeze my rotund, afro behind into a seat occupied by a hispanic women who also had a rotund afro behind and stare holes into your already balding, shiny head. I hope you have a fantastically selfish day. Your sister in corporate attire, Berry

If I told you my weekly schedule you probably wouldn't believe me. I'd have to draw up a diagram and who has time for that? Fortunately, my day gig is going to be relaxed for the next week which means I can focus on my outside activities. [insert hustler music here] So, while I was riding the uptown train this evening I saw one of those chicks . You know, one of those chicks that fit the mold. Some little, light cute girl who grew up middle class and fits the mold. She was probably in Jack & Jill and her mom was probably a Link . She was probably a debutante and always dated the "right" guy. She is the exact opposite of me. I never fit the mold. I was never the right size. Never the right color. Never the right income bracket. Never the right family make up. I never wore the right brands. I never dated the guys who would be "somebody" at the 20 year reunion. It seemed that no matter how I tried to bump my style or how much education I got; no mat...

Wow (doing my best Flava Flav impression)! High 60s barely in the 70s. Did I mention it is NOVEMBER? In NEW frickin' YORK?!

Dry Spell Never Get Wet Again Now that November weather is in full swing, you know the drill. When it rains, it pours. Usually you don't mind when things get a little slippery, but days like this may have you considering upgrading your umbrella with some up-to-the-nanosecond rainproof technology. The NanoNuno Umbrella , another brainchild of the Swiss (apparently they're sick of the whole watch-making stereotype), is the latest defense against that pesky rain. At first glance, it looks like a typical full-length umbrella with classic wooden handle, but it actually taps into nanotechnology (yes, your umbrella can do that). The NanoNuno replaces the flimsy material of a regular umbrella with a textured fabric inspired by the lotus leaf's naturally water- and dirt-repelling surface, which allows any amount of rain and airborne mud (it happens sometimes) to...

I seem to be the queen of typos these days. Bear with me.

So, I pulled this off of Princess' blog just because. By the way, have you seen her new template? I would update mine but um, I just don't feel like fooling with it. It always turns into a bigger job than originally expected. Anyway, I guess she created a perfect lover meme so using her categories I will half-heartedly give my altered responses: Affection - Since I am typically not affectionate, I love an affectionate man. One who knows when and where to touch me as long as it is appropriate. Tender kisses, strokes, hand holding and hugs are wonderful. Grabbing me roughly in public is not okay. Kissing - I love to kiss therefore I love a good kisser. Not sloppy, not rough, not too soft but gently, tender, soft lips, playful tugs and if you can take my breath away like my first boyfriend you're a winner! Humor -I love to laugh so I have always been attracted to the guy who makes me laughs. Once the laughter stops, usually that signals the end of the relationship....

Lately I have been very conscious of the words that I hear and the one's that I speak. Words are powerful. They can build or destroy someone. A negative word can cut deep into someone's spirit and fester for years. I am aware of the people around me who are suffering from the infection of negativity. In the workplace I've heard negativity such as, "she isn't special" or "she has no personality." How dare anyone give themselves that much power to say that someone else isn't special? Who the hell do they think they are? No personality? As my mom said, everyone has a personality. These are people who are not aware of the power of their words. These are those nasty, sticky words that stay in someone's consciousness for years. The words that keep repeating. The words that create low self-esteem in individuals. I hear harmful words every day, everywhere and they make me cringe. Words like shut up which means "what you have to say ...

Wow, it's been longer than a minute since I've done one of these. After the show on Sunday, which was raggedy as hell as a side note, I was basically kidnapped to eat at Billie's Black on 118th Street. When we walked in I recognized two familar faces. The first face was one that looked like someone in "the business" but I couldn't place her face. I kept looking at her and she gave me that look like people who are in the business and used to people looking at them that way do. I didn't ponder it too long as I recognized another familiar face. It was Dexter Myers (who happens to have two number 1 records in the U.K.). He was busy running around the restaurant when we came in. When I first met him he told me that his cousin owned the restaurant and apparently the cousin is a friend of the person I was with. I'll spare you back story on the person who took me there but basically she wasn't someone I was particularly fond of when we worked toget...

In the absence of you time remains empty Despite the long days and shorter nights I am left wondering what it was that was too for you I've always been too something Simply not enough for others More often too much Too black Too skinny Too fast Too nice Too hard Too angry Too tall Too lazy Too busy Too different Too slow Too ugly Too outspoken Too big Too short Too common Too mean Too pretty Too soft Too smart Too quiet Too indifferent Too passive Too agressive But never enough So, I am left to wonder which too drove you away? Was it simply the effects of a life full of contradictions? You were the only consistency Knowing that you would be there Feeling that I was just enough for you if not for anyone else in the world And I am not left wondering in a world where time presses on I wanted to be enough for you if for no one else but instead I am here standing in the absence of you.

Why is it that in 2006 (almost 2007) black folk are still stuff in a slave mentality? We are still threatened by progress. If someone comes in and starts proposing changes, no matter how excited they may be, there will be resistance from those around them.The old "why we can't rise as a people syndrome." I mean really, think of the picture everyone has seen where the man is reaching down to grab a hand to help pull them up. Only problem is instead of reaching back up to grab his hand so they can rise together the other person is thinking of how to pull him back down where they are. The scenario I described a while back when I blogged about drowning. We are drowning people and no one trust anyone enough to just grab ahold and get pulled into shore. Sad really. So, I am tired. I have been fighting. So much conflict. So much negativity. It drains me in its toxicity. In the same way I can be inspired and energized by positive people I can be drained by negative. I...

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered --- forgive them anyway! If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives --- be kind anyway! If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies --- succeed anyway! If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you --- be honest and frank anyway! What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight --- build anyway! If you find serenity and happiness, many people may be jealous --- be happy anyway! The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow --- do good anyway! Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough --- Give it the best you've got anyway! ~ by Mother Teresa ...

Ooops, looks as if I spoke too soon. It is raining...again. How's life treating me? Well, now that I've been taking a little bit of time to myself I am slipping into a funk. I feel like my wheels are spinning and I am digging deeper into a hole. It means one of two things. I am either on my way to a breakdown or a break through. Hold on, it's about to be a bumpy ride. Can I say that Mondays are becoming the best day of the week? Although my weekends are busy Monday nights are still the jump off. Just call it ego stroking :) Actually it's about the only stroking I'm getting these days (TMI). So, I went back in the archives just to see where my head was this time last year. Some interesting stuff. End of October/November seems to be devoted to soul searching. BTW, keep reading...something is about to happen whether good or bad. I have a few memes I've been storing up for the long, cold winter months.

Talk about Global Warming at it's best! Who would imagine that in New York City we are basking in the high 60s on November 1st??? I went out without an overcoat! Typically I would be wrapped in layers shivering and fighting the gusty winds. Actually, that was me last week. Funny...we were freezing in our office because the heat wasn't working due to pipes bursting in the building. The whole week we froze. As soon as the fix the heating problem it is too hot. Literally in the 90s and 100s because there was something wrong with the heating system. So we opened all the windows and stripped down to tank tops. Then the weather decided to warm up. So, we are waiting to see how the heat situation works itself out once the warm temps drop back down to near freezing. Soooo not looking forward to a snowy winter. I told ya'll that a sister is ready to go back home. About the worst we deal with there is too much rain or thick fog.