Settlement through BK Shivani

It hasnt been long enough that i was introduced to one to The Brahma Kumari BK Shivani by one my very close friend.
Since then I have been habitually following her on YouTube, Facebook where i get her regular updates.
A guide to simple, settled, optimistic way of living through optimistic thought.

I now realised how unsettled I used to be, how much I used ponder unlessly over unnecessary things and wasted my precious time. I learnt how I can stop my mind from non stop chattering and guide my mind to be peaceful, powerful, diivne and loveable soul.

I asked my mother few months back if i can have a Guru who can guide me through life, who can give me advise to walk through the right way if I am wrong. She told me it never was late to follow Guru. My question was how do I find one? How will I know if this is the right one for me.

Long back i happened to see a video on parenting advise by Bk Shivani and Shekar. It was sort of Interview one-one types where Shekar seemed to be unsettled with his questions on parenting and how BK Shivani answered all this questions so politely with optimistic thoughts. It interested me. I then thought may be i have a spritual side of me which i didnt know. I tried listening to other speakers of Spritual thought but all went above my head. BK Shivani speaks in simple language and talks about practical situations. She guides well towards the way to optimism in all situations.

I felt a friend in her who staying so far understood my problems and helped me though.

I never was a easy let go person but now letting go is so easy.
I have become more forgiving, which make me feel more powerful and strong inside. It makes me feel happy. A smile within as if a pure soul has touch my soul and now I am under a spell of some magic which can completely taken hold of me and would drag me away from negetive energies.

And unsettled part continues..

For once I felt blogging makes me more restless because I keep wondering about the situation which makes me hold to it and I can't move on. The more you talk about any situation the more you have it in your thought.

After a long time I am back to posting a new content in blog hoping it will bring me some settlement. There comes a time when you want to talk to someone about how you feel but then you don't want to talk to people you know, you want to talk to someone who doesn't know you who doesn't judge you and still can be with you, can understand the situation and suggest you. I try my best to live my life at ease. I promised many times to myself that I won't be hurt by others and I won't give the key to my happiness to someone els. The key should be with me.

Now and then the situation provokes me to handover the key of my happiness to someone else and then my conscious mind remind me to smash it and keep it to myself. I Wonder myself how easy is to be hurt just by looking at someone, just the presence of someone. I wish I can move on easily in life, I am too tired of fighting with myself fighting in my own thoughts.

Unsettled

Restlessness never  seem to set at peace..  I wish  I could put an end to these uneasy feelings which keeps coming back to haunt me.
Life has changed so much.  I know it's a normal sentence for everyone and specially accepted by recently  married or parenting people.  Life indeed changes. It feels like the sea in which I drowning without any choice and where there is no looking back.
In this busy  road  of life paved with responsibilities,  I most of the time feel the absence of "fun".  The fun loving,  party animal,  always lived by my rule,  always knew what was right and fight for what feels wrong.  Now I tend to be mum most of the time. That's not me!  No its not.  I had always been the fighter and I knew  I will fight till end for myself. I have lost myself. May be it's time for me to find me again.

Weird Pages...

Deleting people from life? Well yes I do that at times. When I am badly hurt, I do not wish that person to stay in my life anymore and I do not even wish to hear her/his name. Forgive them? It's not easy for me to forgive them.

What about deleting people out of love? for their good?
Well I have never done that. I never wanted to delete people out of .my life who are closed to me. Staying away from loved one is difficult. The absence of their speech kills if it is person whom you communicate everyday.
How we get used to small things in life and we get dependent on them for small opinion, suggestion, feedback, reactions. How small things get connected to them and reminds you of the person every now and then. The "WE" turns into "YOU" and "I" in no time.

Love hurts, yes it does but I didn't know friendship hurts too, knowing that, at times distance is good in the long run happiness for both of them.

All set to suit up!!!

We all belong to family with different life style. I belong to family which do not allow daughter-in-law to wear any clothes which are sleeveless or which revels legs. So I end up wearing Salwar suits (which I never wore unless I was married) and sometimes Saree (I love Sarees and I wear it occasionally).

Now since I am expecting, I was sulking someday back thinking that I might have to borrow my mother- in- law’s clothes to feel more comfortable to fit in since they will be lose fitting to wear at home. I do not fit into many of my clothes. I hate to wear legging these days as temperature has shoot up to 40 degree this summer with no trace of rain. Pregnancy is making me crave so much to wear cute dresses like this.

   

I should surely buy some because I want to live this moment to the fullest. Pregnancy doesn't happen always and I want to keep feelings happy about it J My sister is law is so excited to see my baby bump in dungarees. She is put up in Delhi and has promised me to buy me dungarees. I cant wait to wear them too.

Yesterday we ended up shopping at "Mom and Me". Thanks to RD that we didnt skip on this one. Found some great stuffs which I can  start using now to make life easier during pregnancy.

Leggings with secret fit belly supporter . You also get patialas (named as Nawabis under http://www.momandmeshop.in) Check here http://goo.gl/mmG8w6

Right now reading : http://www.lifewithmylittles.com/2014/03/

More post on Pregnancy coming soon....

The war between heart and mind

I was craving to get back to blogging since long but somehow thoughts and work always kept me busy and I didn’t find time for myself.

 It has been two days and I feel life has changed. A small misunderstanding can change so many lives.  At times it feels nice to close my eyes and think of things which makes me happy. There are things which may be right to me but wrong to others.  When there is gap between me and others, I realise I have already created a world of my own and made barriers for no one else to peak in. But when the barriers are broken and I stand where the others are, I realise where was I was leading.  

At time brain makes decision but then the heart repeals. My mind is playing with thoughts which are not clear. It is trying to decide but something is stopping. I want to live a simple life but I am a person who keeps turning back, mesmerise the good and bad moment every now and then.

When it rains..

Lazy eyes turned my side to the left, where I generally keep my phone next to my pillow. Check the time; it was 7’o clock in the morning. I smiled to myself as I had one more hour to sleep before I kick-start the day. Snoozed my phone thrice and finally got up at 8’o clock. Had nice shower, played my everyday playlist of songs on the phone. The best way to start a day for me is listening to music while I am brushing my teeth and while bathing. I got dressed and came out of room to dry my towel in the terrace. It was raining, I smiled. I wondered how the glimpse of rain still enchant me and bring back old memories when I used to spend hours watching rain through my window with a smile on my lips.

New friendship -Yes/No??

A time comes when I feel like -ok enough !! I don’t wanna make any more new friends. I have enough friends whom I am not able to give time.  I do not want to make anyone close and make them fall in my inner circle of friends. No emotional attachment no hurts no bad feelings, no worries to lose them (if in case).

Everyone goes through the new friendship excitement, the long chats, the feeling to check their status on whatsapp/Fb now and then, the feeling to meet them time and again.

Does it really happen with everyone? Time when you feel like you have enough of friends around you and you are not open to new friendship which might turn into close friendship later?

A song I came across

                                                                  "Ordinary People"

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday


I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow


This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow



Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, 
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I



We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

When the emotions are running high!!

There are moments when you feel so shattered, when you are not able to understand why you are low. You try hard to hit the right cord, to make people understand what you are going through and what the reasons for your sadness are. Actually you yourself don’t know.

And then when you take a step to talk randomly to that someone, things that you never thought poked you, which has stayed passively in corner of your mind/heart comes out as an emotional opening up.

Things that you had stored deep within, which even you were not conversing about, takes shape in form of words and open up to that someone who is patiently listening to you without commenting anything but just letting you talk, open up till you are done with it. Till the tears dry, till the heart beats comes to the normal beating, till the time you feel you are done and now you can sleep with a wish of new fresh morning.