Sprout...

It's this time of year that brings to memory how FAITHFUL God really is! It was November of 2010 when I called the agency home finder because the house was clean, too quiet and I felt it needed a baby.  She was shocked that I called her in that exact moment because she was putting my name and address into her GPS to stop by.  She sat at my kitchen table to tell me of a baby BOY that was due to be born in December and he needed a pre-adoptive foster home.  He has been ours since December of 2012 and I am so THANKful that God gave him to us.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the opportunity to be his mommy.  Sprout turns 5 year old next month.  Time flies.  He is thriving and such a happy, healthy, fun little boy.  He loves to be outside and he is such an athlete. He is in his 2nd year of pre-school and loves to go everyday! He has a few good friends and to watch them sit and play and use their imaginations...it's just beyond anything I could have possibly dreamed. The other day he was outside raking leaves and jumping in the piles.  He was just loving life and being a kid.  In that moment I remembered all it took to get here and I am just so thankful! 

Our paper work is with the county and we are ready for another call. I am hoping for a newborn or young infant as I really want to enjoy the snuggles.  We have a few things on the calendar so I wouldn't hesitate to say no if I don't feel we can make it work.  Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I am just enjoying this autumn weather and looking forward to seeing who God brings to our home. 

Winds of change...

It's been a few weeks since Doc left and the peace has been restored to our home.  It's the little things I took for granted that I most appreciate now...washing dishes and taking a shower IN PEACE.  No fights to break up. No tantrums.  Sprout is much happier. Change is good right?!?! We have decided to go back to the county we originally fostered for.  I sent a courtesy email to the agency supervisor because she has been with us the longest. Within 30 minutes I got a phone call from her asking "what the heck??". I explained that our move had nothing to do with her personally and that I felt that my character and integrity were questioned and my feelings were hurt.  I don't think I could have gotten any more transparent with her.  I know she was a bit taken back but I hope my honesty helped her understand where I was coming from. 

So, right now we will wait for our paperwork to be requested from the county and to get everything in order over there and we start a new, but familiar journey. I recently sold most of my foster care clothes stock.  I am starting new. I was absolutely clear with the county worker on the fact that we are willing to take 2 children ages 2 or 3 and under.  I would prefer a NB and a 1 yr old or NB twins but we'll see what we get called for.  Even though we are certified for 3...I can't see that happening.  Sprout is in his last year of preschool (update soon) and I am loving every minute with him. He'll be 5 years old this Christmas and I am so thankful that God chose to fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. We are truly blessed.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at him and KNOW I'm holding my dream come true.  More soon...

Moved...

Due to Doc's moms allegations and the fighting between Dos and Sprout, we requested she be moved to another foster home.  She left last Friday. She is now back in a foster home with Jaden. Praying for that family and for Doc.  Doc's mom took another jab at us last week and said that because Doc complained she was hungry and didn't have dinner (during one of their nightly phone calls) bio mom called on call. Doc had been in respite for the weekend and came home to us (at 6pm) having already eaten dinner.  (I have the text from foster mom saying she fed her).  When we got home Doc only asked for ice.  She wasn't 'hungry' until her mom asked her what she ate for dinner.  Well, the agency worker called the respite mom and asked her a bunch of questions about what, how much and when she fed Doc...as if I were lying.  It really bothers me that my word is not enough.  They all know that bio mom suffers from mental illness. This agency worker has been with me for 2 years...she was Baby Love's worker and Smiley's worker. She claims that I am one of her favorite homes. I am just so sad that it had to come to this. Doc is adjusting to living with her brother again and it seems like this foster home is a better fit for her.  We are back to a quiet house with less fighting too. Part of me felt like I broke my cardinal sin of fostering....never take a child older than your youngest. 
Well, we learned.  It will never happen again. 

That Saturday...

Last Saturday was bio mom's first unsupervised visit with Jaden and Doc.  The plan was for Jaden's foster mom and I to drop off the kids at a gas station for 9:30am and bio mom would pick them up in a cab. She would then get them down to her house for a 4 hour unsupervised visit and the cab would bring them back up to us for 2:30pm where the other foster mom and I would be waiting.  I got there at 9:20 am and bio mom was there with the cab.  I waited until Jaden and Doc were secure in their seats and left.  It was a very quiet morning.

I got there for pick up around 2:20pm.  About 10 minutes later the other foster mom showed up with her husband and pulled beside my truck. We waited for 15 minutes discussing how easy it would be for bio mom to 'run' with the kids.  The cab finally pulled in at 2:46pm.  By this time I was a bit peeved that my Saturday was dwindling away and I felt to set boundaries and let bio mom know that this was NOT ok.  I got out of the car and said "This is not ok. You're 15 minutes late and I understand that you want time with your kids but this is MY Saturday too. It's MY time with my family and I'm spending it here waiting for you. I'm not very happy right now" It took all of 3 seconds for her to be in my face and nose to nose with me, so close that I could smell her breath. She said "Do NOT talk to me like that. Do I drive?" I said "Well, you should have planned your time better." Trying to avoid and further issues I went to open the cab door and get Doc out.  She them inserted herself between the cab and I and she asked the cab driver what time he picked them up. He answered that he picked them up at 2:20pm. I said "So you gave yourself 10 minutes for a 35 minute drive...POOR PLANNING".  She was yelling and cursing and I was just trying to get Doc and leave but she went around the other side of the cab and got Doc out. She yelled to me "and DON'T tell MY daughter she can't change her clothes when she comes to MY house.  MY house MY rules".  At this point Doc was hysterical crying and clinging to bio mom.  Bio mom took this opportunity to say "I'm sorry you had to see your foster mom talk to me that way. Does she talk to YOU this way? Is THAT why you don't want to go back to her house?  She looks at me at said "SEE?? Now she doesn't want to go with you!?" I rubbed Doc's back and said "C'mon Doc. You did nothing wrong. I'm not angry with you. Let's go back to the house and have a good day."  It took a minute for her but she came to me and I put her in the car seat and closed her door. Bio mom pat Jaden on the head and got in the cab.  She was screaming from the cab but I only caught her say "It's ok Doc.  I'm working hard to get you back.  You'll be home soon. And foster mom?! You won't have my daughter anymore!"

I closed my window so I don't know what else she said but as soon as I calmed Doc down I called the agency on call number and explained everything. The on call worker told me to follow up with my worker on Tuesday as it was a holiday weekend. As I pulled in the driveway my daughter came out to say that someone from the agency left a message.  I called her back and it seems that bio mom called her and I called on call. Both workers are from my agency and they had already spoken so again, I was told to follow up with my worker.  I spoke to Doc about what happened but I didn't blame anyone.  She pretended an alien got her voice and didn't talk for almost an hour.  The worker who left a message called me back about 45 minutes later and told me that bio mom called her again demanding that Doc be moved from my house immediately. She alleged that I was physical with her, that I was using profane language with her and that I ripped Doc from her arms. The worker had already spoken to the other foster mom and she said that if anyone got physical...it was bio mom.  She said I didn't even raise my voice aside to talk over bio mom. The other foster mom told the truth and I'm so thankful she was there because if she wasn't it would have been MY word against bio mom.  The worker said she pacified bio mom with a promised visit to see Doc and make sure she was ok...which meant we had to wait for the worker to show up at the house an hour later around 5pm.  My (Satur)day began at 9:30am and ended at 5:30pm.  I was a bit offended that they pacified bio mom by coming to my house. My character at my agency for the past 5 years should speak for itself.

Unfortunately, I had all weekend to brew and be angry. I spoke with my husband and we decided that since my agency won't have my back that I need to set boundaries.  I WILL NOT be available for Saturday visits anymore.  It is family time and since the agency workers and county workers aren't working...neither am I.  I also decided that I WILL NOT be able to transport Doc to visits or counseling where bio mom will be because I will not put myself in a situation that she can allege something happened.  She is mentally ill. SHE initiated Doc be moved here. We are Doc's 4th move in 2 years.  Did I mention she is 5?  I spoke to the supervisor and HER supervisor and told them my new 'boundaries' are to keep my family and I safe.  If they need to move Doc...so be it.  She and Sprout are constantly fighting and when you try to explain the lack of 'peace' in our home I usually her something patronizing like 'that's why we value our foster parents' then I hear 'well, that's what you signed up for'.  Not sure how this will end but I can tell you that the lack of peace in our home right now is hard.  Everything we know as 'normal' has changed.  I really value the foster homes that can take older children.  This is really our first time having an older child (than 3) in our home.  It's not easy. There are many emotions that go along with foster care.  Right now, I feel like I HAVE TO do what's in the best interest of my family. Court is this coming Wednesday.  Bio mom has requested she get Doc (and only Doc) back. I can't imagine what that will do to Jaden when he hears that bio mom is only fighting for his little sister.  I feel we have so much to offer Doc but 
AT WHAT COST?  

Psycho

Docs bio mom is a psycho. That is all. 

Doc

Instead of calling her 'Leah'...I've decided on the blog name 'Doc' for this new little one.  Not only does she have medical needs but she also reminds me of the Disn*ey character Do*c McS*tuffins.  Her diagnosis is Complicate Single Ventricle,  Heterotaxy syndrome, Scoliosis, Restrictive lung disease and asthma. Basically, she was born with only part of her heart.  Due to her heart issues, she is TINY. Like 29 pounds and the size of an 18 month old. She has a LOUD mouth and strong feet when she's stomping in her tantrums though. She was moved here from another foster home and will most likely be returned home to bio mom.  She screams when she doesn't get her way and she tantrums often. She is constantly fighting with Sprout but school starts in a week and by then we should have a normal routine.  Hoping I last that long...PRAY FOR ME. Lol. 

P.S.- My 4 year old Sprout starts his 2nd year of pre-school one week from today. He'll take the bus and be there every day for 2 1/2 hours.  Time flies...

Got a call...

***'Leah' is now 'Doc'.

On August 13th I got a call for respite. Not sure if I've blogged about it before but this isn't the first time I was asked to take this child.  She has medical issues similar to Baby Love and her worker (same worker Baby Love and Smiley had) thought that we'd be a perfect match.  The home finder asked if I'd take her for respite for the coming weekend because the agency is working with a skeleton staff and many foster parents were either away, unwilling or unable.  I hesitantly said yes. Leah was discharged from the hospital to our home for her 10 days of respite.  We could only take her for the weekend then I'd pack her up and send her to another home for the last 7 days.  I'd been warned of how tiny she is and how fast I'd fall in love.  She walked up to the front door and was the tiniest 5 year old I've ever seen. She is wearing a 3T and is only 29 pounds. (Sprout is my 4 year old son and he is wearing a size 5 and just about 40 pounds). 

Leah was only born with half of her heart.  She used to have a feeding tube but it has been removed. She has scoliosis and it's pretty severe.  Her asthma flares up every once in a while but for the most part she's healthy.  Leah is a very talkative, VERY bright little girl.  She isn't shy and she is very aware of what foster care is and aside from learning the names of the people in my house she was a very nice house guest.  She is on the track to reunification and is allowed to speak to her bio mom twice a day. The agency worker thinks that Leah will home in 6 months.  If not, TPR will HAVE to be filed because her and her brother have been in care almost 2 years.  Leah and her brother were initially placed together but because they didn't interact well and his impulsivity, they had no choice but to separate them.  (Not sure how bio mom will handle them both when they are reunified).  Her brother, Jaden, is a year older than her almost to the day.  Earlier this summer, I was asked to take both of them for respite but didn't feel comfortable breaking our rule of 'no older children than Sprout' in the home.  This time around, knowing they separated Leah from Jaden made it a bit easier saying yes.

The weekend went well. She and Sprout played and because we had nothing planned, we just sat by the pool and relaxed. We colored, went to church, watched movies and ate dinner out one night. I didn't want to do too much with her not only because she'd just spent 5 days in the hospital and she needed to stay quiet but I also didn't want her to think that respite is a party.  Too much fun here would have made it really hard for her foster mom when she returned home. I spoke to bio mom just to fill her in on how things were going and bio mom asked me if we'd take Leah as a permanent placement.  I explained that things really don't work that way and that she's placed with 'Betty' and I was only her respite home. Bio mom thanked me for taking such good care of Leah and the next morning I packed up her things and dropped her off with the worker.  Later that day, the worker texted me to ask if we'd take Leah as a placement.  Bio mom really liked the things she was hearing from Leah, she liked that I took the time to do her hair and loved the fact that I actually got on the phone with her to discuss her daughter.  She wanted her moved here. 

SOOO, after much consideration, family meetings and prayer...we've decided to take Leah.  I had questions about school, transport for visits and the biggest question was what if bio mom stopped working her plan.  I have no intention on adopting this little girl.  The agency worker ASSURES me that this bio mom will not stop fighting for her kids.  Her track record is good and they should be home very soon.  There are reasons that the agency feels that our home would be better for Leah than Betty's...I won't go into that but for the most part, I agree.  So, she's in respite until Monday and after her visit she'll be brought back to Betty's for the night to get her things.  She should be here this week. 

***'Leah' is now Doc.

Got a call...

Last Friday my cell phone rang. It was the agency supervisor calling for respite. "I have a  sibling group of 3 coming in. A 4 y/o boy, 2 1/2 y/o girl and their 1 1/2 y/o brother. I need respite til Monday but if you fall in love with them...you can keep them as a placement". 
Reluctantly, I said yes. I hung up the phone and finished the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, switched over the laundry and swept the floors. I got bedding ready and put away Sprout's toys I didn't want to see broken. Just as I sat down to relax (3 hours later) the phone rang again. It was the agency supervisor letting me know that "they won't be coming in today because CPS is giving mom another chance. It could be any time this weekend though".  Well, at least the house is clean...

No news on Little Mighty :/

It's been 3 weeks today that I buckled him in his car seat and kissed him goodbye.  I haven't heard anything.  My heart breaks thinking he might be waiting to come 'home' to me.  I wonder if he has taken his first steps or finally uttered his first word.  I wonder if they're leaving him in his 'crib' all day...like they used to. I wonder if they're feeding him. 

We have returned to baseline as a family.  We even got away for a few days and enjoyed each others company outside the monotony of every day life.  Many times throughout these past few weeks I've thought I left him strapped in his car seat in the car or in the shopping cart at the store.  These are things that no one tells you can happen when you 'lose' a child.  I keep thinking I hear him crying in his crib then I remember...he's not here.  I think that this part of foster care has it's down side.  Trying to integrate back into everyday life without the baby you've been caring for every day for the past 9 months.  There are many tricks your mind can play on you.

Sprout keeps asking about Little Mighty.  I gently remind him that Little Mighty is home with his mommy and daddy and together we pray for the next him and the next little one who will come into our lives.  This journey is hard but I know it's worth it.  These kids are worth it. 

Little Mighty

He's gone. CPS will stay involved for a year. That's good that eyes will be on him. If he loses wright he comes back into care. Pray for this sweet boy. That he keeps his love for life and his gorgeous smile. 

Little Mighty

Little Mighty was placed with us in October of 2014. He was a 15 pound nugget only after gaining 2 pounds in 5 days in the hospital.  He was 10 months old.  He didn't turn his head when I called his name.  He barely sat up or crawled.  He was essentially a 2 month old. He is still here after 8 months.  He is transitioning home and will be placed back home permanently in about 2 weeks.  His bio parents have finished their parenting classes, done their mental health counseling, taken substance abuse counseling and 'kept their home safe and stable'...(meaning no CPS calls regarding their 2 other children). 

They also...

Cancelled about 33 percent of the visits when they were supervised. 
(More than once) Have not changed his diaper during a 6 hour visit. (Yes, I marked the diapers)
Sent him home in dirty, filled diapers. 
Complained about having to feed him because I get their W*IC checks and they cant afford to feed him. 
Had him 'nap' for 2 hours during a 4 hour visit at 10 in the morning.
Not made it to ANY of his appointments that were scheduled for months (well baby, sick child visits, and specialist appointments).
Cancelled a specialist appointment I had for a hearing evaluation because he was on their time and at overnight and they didn't want to bring him. 
Sent him home to me because they didn't want him while he was sick. (with a runny nose)
Cancelled visits if they knew he was sick the day before.
Have made excuses on why they can't have more time with him when the worker tries to extend visits. 
 
I fear for his future.  While he doesn't come home with bruises I can tell that he is hungry and he usually eats a full meal even after bios state they've fed him. 
Court is in 2 weeks. I was told to expect him to be returned then. I've started packing his things.  There is no reason to believe that he won't go home. Last court date was the beginning of June. Prior to walking into court it seemed that the decision had already been made to return him home. The actual 'court session' seemed like a formality.  So much that when the judge asked if I had anything too add I shook my head and couldn't speak because I was dumbfounded. 

At 18 (almost 19) months old...Little Mighty is not walking. He doesn't have ONE word.  He makes good eye contact and knows his name. He is crawling and pulling to stand.  He eats like a man and sleeps like a baby.  He plays hard in between. He is receiving speech and occupational therapy. Foster care is not fair. I struggle with the fact that he's leaving only because the bios haven't changed. They've done NOTHING to make me think that he'll be out of his crib and playing and/or stimulated.  This is exactly what he came FROM.  No human interaction or stimulation and they weren't feeding him.  And I hope I'm wrong but it seems he's going back to exactly that. 

Horrible blogger...

I've been the worst blogger.  I have no excuse and I hope it doesn't come and bite me in the end.  I've used this blog to record the details of Little Mighty's case.  The visits have been unsupervised for a while now.  They recently were extended and now the agency worker told me the county is extending them again. The bios have sent him back to me hungry (saying he ate) they've sent him back with a dirty diaper and wet.  They've complained about almost everything I've put on him.  I'm tired.  I know he's going home and I've been waiting for the workers to tell me he's going for overnights.  The bios have tried to end a visit over an hour early because they said he was sick.  They wanted me to drop what I was doing and take him to the dr. they don't want him at their house when he's sick.  I've tried to explain that there's nothing I can do for him that they can't.  He is too young to know the difference...thank God.  He is extremely delayed. He turns 18 months old this month and still doesn't have one word and has yet to try to take his first step.  His core muscles are very loose.  He is just a floppy boy.  His therapist sees him 2x a week and is requesting that at the next evaluation meeting that we add speech.  I have to be honest.  I am afraid for him if/when he goes home.  The bios present well so I know its just a matter of time.  I am beyond frustrated with the system and I'm tired of the laws that protect the rights of the parent.  My older kids have asked if we can take the summer off of fostering if he leaves.  Court is next month (June). Unless we get called for a newborn... Lol. 

  

Bonding...

Little Mighty started Unsupervised visits with his bio mom and dad. I have seen many red flags with his behavior and his attitude in general but there is nothing that he is doing that would stop visits from being unsupervised.  The bios have told the case worker that they fed him then when he has come home he has eaten an entire sandwich, a jar of fruit and drank 3/4 sippy cup of milk.  When I tell him no or take something from him he throws THE BIGGEST tantrums.  I am very concerned about his ability to bond.  I can tell he KNOWS who we are but his ability to make good eye contact and his lack of wanting to be held scares me.  He will be 17 months old later this month.  He is a very smiley boy so trying to convince the agency worker that I am concerned makes me seem crazy but the county worker agrees that the degree of abuse and neglect he has suffered can definitely make him a candidate for some type of Reactive Attachment Disorder.  The county that he is placed through is a county WELL KNOWN for reuniting children and their parents even though that are severe bonding concerns with him and his bios.  The agency worker told me that when she picked him up today after his visit that he was in an exersaucer.  He was only there for an hour and no one was holding him...so sad.  I assume there are still concerns for Winter (baby sister) and Bailey but no one has mentioned that anything has happened with the girls in a while.  The agency worker also mentioned that last week when she 'forgot' to pick up Little Mighty after a 2 hour visit bio mom was calling her cell phone asking when she was coming to pick him up.  You'd think she'd love more time with the  son she says she desperately wants home. 

I give up...

I just don't understand. Little Mighty's bios have not been consistent in visits with him.  They are entitled to 3 (one hour) SUPERVISED days a week.  They have not seen him all 3 days since before Christmas.  There have been 3 or 4 weeks that they haven't seen him at all. And now the county has decided to give the bios one hour Unsupervised a week. 

I'll never get it. On another note, the agency home finder asked if I'd be willing to be on the foster parent panel for MAPP in a few weeks.  I said yes.  I ordered the book "Welcome to the Roller Coaster" to give to each couple in the class.  Hoping to open their eyes to the realities of foster care. If you haven't had the chance to read it, I HIGHLY suggest it.  You can get it on Amazon here. 

crazy ride...

Little Mighty's case is going nowhere fast.  I spoke to the county worker (who is the 'horse's mouth', so to speak) She is leaving to go work for CPS.  I wanted to know what the bios had to do towards reunification.  She said they had to take parenting classes, mental health counseling, they have to understand the diagnosis of FAILURE TO THRIVE.  They have to attend substance abuse counseling and dr's appointments for Little Mighty.  They have to KEEP visiting with him and stop canceling.  They have averaged one visit a week since December...canceling often. They also have to keep Bailey in counseling and follow through on doctor's orders for her.  The main worker, Genie, has been supervising the majority of the visits so she is experiencing all kinds of crazy.  She is seeing the ups and downs of bio mom and dad.  It seems that if one is stable the other is not and vice versa.  

Little Mighty is THRIVING!  At 15 months old he is over 21 pounds and pulling to stand. He was not even sitting up back in October when he was placed here.  He is crawling on all fours instead of doing the worm across the floor.  He is pre-talking and babbling.  His speech is probably at a 6-7 month age and his gross motor is around 10 1/2 months.  I am so proud of his progress. 

His bios think that I am the block to him going home.  They think that I control the reunification process.  Bio mom said yesterday that it's taking too long and the county should just 'take him' because he's never coming home anyway.  They want to know why they can't have visits in my home and phone calls.  (Usually visits are only held in the foster home if the bios are sane (they are not) and homeless (they are not).  Phone calls wouldn't work either because Little Mighty can't speak.  And to be brutally honest, it's not worth the 10 minutes of my time every night.  I am fed up with them complaining about his clothes and his runny nose (it's winter in NY....EVERYONE has a runny nose). He is eating, sleeping, playing, peeing, pooping, fever free and happy...why would I take him to the dr???  I wish Genie would filter a bit more of the bios opinions.  

The easiest part of foster care is taking care of the kids.   

Cancelled...

After ALL the complaining about ME..you'd think the bios would want to see Little Mighty as much as possible. But they cancelled AGAIN.  This is the 4th visit in a row ((2/6, 2/9, 2/11 and today, 2/13).  The county worker was going to supervise the visit. She planned to pick up Bailey after school and bring her and Little Mighty back to their house. Bio mom agreed to this yesterday. 

Let me back track. Even though Monday and Wednesday's visits were cancelled, the agency worker was trying to work with bios to find a time that is good for everyone.  She couldn't make the usual Friday visit work due to scheduling conflicts and they (the bios) were ok with not seeing their son this week.  The county worker called me very upset stating that the bios HAVE TO have visits offered at THEIR convenience because she didn't want to hear in court that they say they're denied promised visits with their son.  So the county worker was supposed to supervise today's visit.  She just called me very upset that they bios called to cancel this morning.  She thinks that the bios don't want Bailey to see Little Mighty and this is her way to control that.  I guess we'll see for Monday. 

Anyway, the county worker just asked if we are pre-adoptive.  Um, I said yes...

(Realistically, we have to make it until October without Bailey and Winter coming into care to even entertain the thought of adopting.  But it was nice of her to ask) :)

What are they hiding?

Snow day here in NY today.  Kids are home.  I got a call this morning from the agency supervisor.  She said that they cancelled the visit for Little Mighty today.  I asked if it would be rescheduled and she said that she will not rush to reschedule it because bio mom called saying that Bailey has strep but I cant help but think she's not contagious after 24 hours and if she was sick on Friday, she should be ok to see Little Mighty.  Then I'm thinking that maybe bios don't want Bailey to see Little Mighty OR that bios don't want the agency workers see BAILEY for some reason.  What are they hiding? Last Friday's visit was cancelled when Bailey would have been able to see her little brother and now today, another chance to visit...is cancelled. 

Cancelled

Bios cancelled the visit for today. (1/30) Bio mom called the agency supervisor and told her that Bailey and bio dad are sick.  Little Mighty doesn't know any different, thank God. Monday's visit went well and Wednesday's visit was changed last minute.  It went from a one hour visit/one hour therapy to adding a 2 hour dr's evaluation with the whole bio family.  The bios were forced to feed Little Mighty lunch (which they complain about doing because they 'have no food and I get his WI*C'.  They were also forced to check and change his diaper.   Now, they cancelled today's visit.  Our regular agency worker is out of the office this week so it's been a little confusing.  I'm happy Little Mighty is too little to know the chaos around him.  I'm happy he doesn't hear them complaining about his necessary care.  He is such a happy little man.

Forgot to mention...

At the 3 hour visit on (1/14) I forgot to mention that for some reason the police showed up at bios house sometime between 11 and 12.  They wanted to question bio mom. Still haven't found out exactly why but the man who transported Little Mighty back home didn't find it important enough to mention to me.  I found out because I listen when people talk.  Not sure why the transporter didn't tell me but I did ask the family specialist and she said that the police had some questions for bio mom regarding the original neglect charge.  Not sure of anything will come from it...

 

Not sure what to think...January 19, 2015

This past week has been full of swings and turns...nothing out of the ordinary for foster care but nothing like I thought this case would go. 

Monday, January 12- Little Mighty's bios cancelled the visit so they could go to court on the original neglect case.  Visit was rescheduled. 

Wednesday, January 14-  The visit from Monday was rescheduled for today.  From 9am to 10am.  Regularly scheduled visit from 10 to 11am and O/T from 11 until 12am.  He came home FILTHY.  I have been to bios house twice.  It was immaculate.  Not sure where he got so dirty.  Also, his diaper was leaking by the time he came home because no one changed him.  

Friday, January 16- Visits are now in the afternoon so Bailey can visit with Little Mighty.  I got a call 15 minutes before the worker was supposed to be at my house telling me that the visit was cancelled because they had a family social event to go to.  I was told by the family specialist that bios were asking for more time with Little Mighty earlier in the day and they were told that if they keep up with visits and everything keeps going well, they would extend visits.  Then they cancelled.  Go figure. 

Monday, January 19-  No visit today because of the holiday.  No complaints from me.  

Little Mighty is pulling himself up to stand but he has no danger awareness so he lets go and falls.  It is very scary to watch him fall.  So far, no injuries.  THANK GOD!! He said his first word on Saturday (January 17).  He repeated STOP! It was cute.  He is such a happy boy!  

(Back posts) from December 18...

All hell broke loose on December 18th.  The day AFTER my last post.  I'm writing it down for my records so it'll be a day by day, play by play. 

Thursday, December 18-  New baby is due to be born via scheduled C-section.  As I'm walking into Sprout's preschool for his holiday party my cell rings.  It's the agency supervisor calling to see if we'd be willing to take Little Mighty's 9 year old sister. We don't typically foster children older than our youngest so I knew hubby's answer would be no.  It was. 
I called the supervisor back to let her know and she said that they'd have to move Little Mighty to be with his sisters.  This new foster family would be bringing home new baby sister (blog name Winter) and older sister (blog name Bailey).   I asked when Little Mighty would be moved and I was told nobody knew.  Winter is born today. 

Friday, December 19- Called county worker to see if she had more info on whether or not Little Mighty would be with us for Christmas.  She said she could move the other girls and let him stay with us for Christmas but I told her that they should be together for the holiday.  As I was driving around stressing out about Little Mighty's progress and where he'd be for Christmas and how this wasn't fair and how much foster care sucks...God whispered to my heart "Be still".

Stressed all weekend wondering if Winter tested positive and wondered if we'd be called to take her or if new foster home would bring her home.  Phone never rang.

Monday, December 22- Called agency worker to see if there was any new info and she said there wasn't.  Called county worker and was told that the investigation was just beginning and anything could happen.  Found out that Winter did NOT test positive for drugs and she went home with bios from the hospital. No news to move Little Mighty' YET.

Tuesday, December 23rd- Sprout turns 4!! Happy Birthday big boy!
No news about Little Mighty moving.  I explained to the agency worker (Genie) that since we thought we'd have Winter for Christmas we cancelled our plans to be with family.  Now that we're not getting her we'd like either respite or to take Little Mighty with us.  One minute she said that they'll never let me take him and the next minute she was giving me permission to bring him with us.  They (bios) said yes!

Wednesday, December 24th- No news about Little Mighty moving but he had a visit with bios to celebrate Christmas Eve. 

Thursday, Christmas Day...Merry Christmas!!

Friday, December 26th- No visit because we spent the day out of town with Little Mighty and our family. 

Monday, December 29th- Visit as usual.  Bailey is home from school for vacation.

Wednesday, December 31st-  Visit

Friday, January 2nd- Regular transporter isn't available so Spanky fills in.  Did Little Mighty eat?  No.  Please have bios feed him.  When Spanky brought Little Mighty home he said they gave him 2 cookies for breakfast.  Really?! A baby who is in care for Failure to Thrive and malnutrition and you let them feed him cookies as a meal?! 

Monday, January 5th- Bios cancelled visit because they had to bring Bailey to a counseling appointment and Winter for a well baby visit.  This is wrong not only because Bailey missed school but also because the visits have been the same since October and they scheduled an appointment during one of the three hours they can see their son. 

Wednesday, Jan 7th- O/T after visit at bios house. 

Thursday, Jan 8th- bios cancelled O/T because it was too cold to bring Little Mighty outside.  (Little do they know he is running my errands with me and dropping off and picking up Sprout from preschool too).  O/T was rescheduled at my home.

Friday, January 9th- I bring Little Mighty for a regularly scheduled visit at normal time.  I called the agency worker (Genie) to come to the parking lot to get him and she informs me that the visit is later in the afternoon.  She insists she told me that it was changed.  Not only did she not tell me, but I wouldn't have agreed to afternoon visits because of my older children's after school activities.  She kept telling me she told me and I was extremely frustrated.  I called the county worker and asked when it was changed and informed her that I was never made aware of the change.  She apologized and told me that from now on I'd be kept in the loop because, you know, I have the baby and that kind of info is kinda important. 

So, as of now, Little Mighty is staying.  The girls are NOT coming into care and if they do they will NOT be placed here which means Little Mighty will move with them.  The one thing I've learned is to document everything.  Phone calls, visits and anything that will make this foster care roller coaster ride a little easier for the next passenger.