You Know When You Think of Something In Your Head and Laugh, Making Someone Around You Think You're Nuts? . . .

. . . Well, I have done that a couple times with the girl I'm seeing who you may know by the name of Law School Dropout.

The first instance came when we were lying in bed and I started cracking up laughing a little. Then the more I tried to stop it, I just totally lost it, which made her laugh. Don't think I'm an asshole, please, but I was laughing thinking about having seen a goofy kid trying to do push-ups earlier that day. My friend, Gung Ho, was scoring how many they could do, and by the time it was this kid's turn, this second grader had watched at least twenty youngsters perform the act. Yet, for some reason, he arched his butt way up in the air, crouched up like a frog, and slowly attempted to make love to the ground. First the other students started to laugh. I tried not to laugh myself, but when Gung Ho through his head back in the air and laughed uncontrollably, I lost it too. I guess you just had to be there . . .

The second time I laughed to myself like a dumb-ass, I was, again, lying in bed with Law School Dropout (LSD?). Earlier that day, I had been at a meeting with the scuzziest man of all time who was fillbustering the hell out of all of us with random dumb crap, disagreeing with everyone and being rude. I say scuzzy because he wears dirty clothes, smells like cigarettes, has the longest dirtiest nails ever, and his laptop had missing keys, stains, and his gum stuck on it - saved for post meeting chewing, perhaps? As he's pointing his fingers to the group, with his dirty and long gross fingernails quite close to my face, he was saying, "I'd like to propose blah, blah blah," and all I could think is, "I have something to propose. I propose this gross sonuvabitch cut those nails and perhaps even clean them!" I guess I laughed out loud thinking about that because I was picturing myself actually saying that and the people's reaction to it. Actually, I damn near blurted it out, to be honest.

Any of you ever do that? Anyone have a name for it?

This post is probably full of typos and things, but I had to do it quickly before falling asleep. Maybe I'll giggle to myself in a minute, and if so, you'll read all about it tomorrow . . .

We were hanging out back at a friend's place after a long night of nudey photo hunt and karaoke, and one female friend of ours showed us a special talent: She can queef (or vart if you prefer) on demand. She lied down on the floor, and you could hear her sucking the air into her hooha, and then expeling it immediately with a rather loud queef. She could do this at a rate of one a second for as long as she wants or until we got bored of it, which we didn't. One guy even stuck his head down there (she was fully clothed) and listened closely as she queefed directly into his face, and then he laughed like an idiot, which was making me laugh uncontrollably.

It's just the type of night I needed.