Draft - It's always something

Such as forgetting to remove "draft" from the post title. 

 

Well it's over now. I'm fine again. Anxiety seems to creep up on me as I age. Is it those life experiences that didn't go well that add to the feeling? I've never liked being late for anything but don't most people feel that way? Being able to give yourself a little spare time to meet that arrival time is sensible to me.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot am I talking about? Well the first time was back in 2013 (see this old post).

Prep for entry

back side moon

Drink rapidly rather than sipping. Not advice for drinking a fine aged bourbon. Good advice for drinking a large unwanted amount of PEG-3350. The 4 liter prescription gives me reason to hate the metric system.

Rapid drinking was one of many instructions provided to me for my colonoscopy. This was my second exploratory visit within my body. I heard the visit went well but I was completely asleep during their expedition so I'll trust their answer.

The first expedition included the day of liquid diet but I don't recall the list of foods to avoid 3-5 days prior to the drilling (procedure if you will). I understand nuts and popcorn could ruin their view. I was surprised being told not to eat healthy food like fruits and cereal high in fiber. Basically go on a junk food diet for a few days.

Another change this time was a COVID-19 test. I'm two shot (jab for the Brits?) vaccinated but I understand being cautious. The test had to be done a specific day. It went well. I was expecting a bit of discomfort up my nose but that didn't happen.

Until my next something, have a listen to "Bad Moon Rising". It's not "a bathroom on the right" but during the prep I was on the bathroom alright.

I see the bad moon a-rising
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin'
I see bad times today

December

December is the season of hope, joy, sharing, and maybe goodwill.

 

December 2020 I guess might be more like December 2018. I don’t have any personal information about 2018 since I’m not over 100 years old (still a long long way to go for that). The history lesson that describes the 1918 flu pandemic is worth comparing to our recent 2020 pandemic. It was first identified in military personnel in spring 1918. As any 2020 reader knows this Covid virus became known to most in the spring. The 1918 pandemic came in waves just like this year. Now we are just starting to vaccinate against it this month. There was no vaccine for the 1918 flu virus. (interesting article about the reconstruction of the 1918 virus) There’s hope, but it will take months before a majority of the population is vaccinated.

 

even Elf-on-the-Shelf knows to quarantine

 

 

2020 was also an election year in the US. This brought me hope and some joy. Seeing our president of chaos and misinformation lose was a joy. Seeing that same soon to be ex-president continue to spread misinformation about the election and collect donations to fight the results is disturbing. He might set the record for the most donations raised by a lame-duck president.

I recently heard Josh Groban sing the old mellow Broadway song, “Try To Remember” on a PBS special. As you know, I enjoy changing the lyrics of songs.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without an election democracy is hollow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The vote of November that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

down the rabbit hole

I've always enjoyed reading and visiting libraries. About a week ago I was planning to stop in and pickup a another book. The library was closed until further notice.  I didn't think the coronavirus would affect our library. We have nice library but our village is small and I haven't experienced large crowds there. Is this closing going to help much?

My wife (one-who-knows-where-stuff-be) brought up a box of our youngest daughter's books. Now this daughter is in her mid-thirties now. Why we have a box of her books is another story for another post (maybe).

Digging through the books I noticed Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland". I've heard much about these adventures but never actually read the book. So I jumped down the rabbit hole.

certainly a not-yet-retired rabbit

I've used the expression "down the rabbit hole" a few times during my career. Not too unusual for someone at a meeting to reply to a suggestion with we don't want to go down that rabbit hole right now. Unless you are the rabbit, nobody is sure where the rabbit hole comes out.

Lewis Carroll created a very strange world down there. Coronavirus is creating a strange world up here. Certainly the surreal things in this book do not have the seriousness of the surreal closed down world this pandemic has thrown at us. But surreal is surreal.

I read a little of it at night as I fall asleep. I think it affects my dreams but my dreams typically are very strange.

The puzzling logical dialogue and puns are fun. There was a conversation about school and lessons. The first lesson was 10 hours, the next 9 hours and so on. The mock turtle explains that's why they are called lessens.

Has the stay at home environment given you a chance to read any classics? 
 





via GIPHY

The Shedd Aquarium in Chicago had to close so now they let the penguins take field trips around the empty aquarium. I'm just as confused as this little guy.





Lastly here's a tune I have not heard in awhile.

what if fun

Before we get into this post, I want to be clear that this "what-if" post will avoid thinking about personal what-if's. I've wasted too much thinking and emotional energy on my own what-if's. I certainly don't want to bother you with my past mistakes. I'm sure you have some yourself. It is what it is, so let's move on.

what if I start wearing blue shades

What-if thinking doesn't need to be about anything personal. The what-if doesn't even need to be about the past. Here's a future what-if example, what if you leave a good comment at the end of this post. However I do find more fun with considering past what-if's.

Jules Verne without diving gear

Creating a past what-if allows me to use the word juxtaposition. So what do you think of this current day technology juxtaposition with past writer of science fiction?

What if, Jules Verne was able to take a deep diving submarine trip before he wrote "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea"?

The book would not have been a science fiction book but rather a true adventure. I'm sure he would have still written some science fiction about underwater life. He could have created Mayor Nemo of some underwater city like Atlantis.

What if, the Wright brothers had a jet turbine engine available for their airplane? 

The first world war might have been shorter. I can't imagine using trench warfare while fast aircraft could bomb and strafe the enemy troops. Of course a powerful engine on the glider type of plane they first built would have just ripped it apart. So I need to include metal craft that would provide strong metal wings. 

Also, maybe the more advance aircraft (capacity, speed, distance) would have dampen the demand for automobiles.

Lastly what if I didn't crash my drone to the point of its complete destruction?

A better position

The sleeping position works well for me. I’m probably in the sitting position too often too.

I’ve had positions of some authority somewhere in my past, I’m sure of it.

a bed or a bench?

A few thoughts to nibble at before I offer a more consequential one. Grab a drink, some might be a bit dry.

Walking on sunshine - certainly more stable than walking on moonshine.

Facebook confession: Bless me Facebook, it’s been 14 minutes since my last reaction to someone’s rant.

Poor Renee - So many people telling her to walk away. Wow, such a multitude of “Walk Away Renee” covers. And when I see the sign that points one way, I’m going to just stand, stare and cause a traffic jam.

Start playing bridge - I just discovered the game of bridge uses the terms, no-trumper and dummy. I’ve never even tried to play bridge but our dummy president doesn’t even make a good joker. It would be nice to have a no-trumper day.

When you retire you work by the hour. You punch out when you die.

I was just a kid with black and white TV when JFK was shot. I didn’t need technicolor to eventually learn that our world should not be viewed as black and white.

a sign found at an art museum

Now a slightly more serious thought regarding position. Are we/world/you/family/anybody in a better position today than a generation ago? Looking backwards can distort your view. The good stuff will appear larger in the rear view mirror. What exactly was better back then?

There are a few books out about this idea (I have not read them but did read a magazine article on this subject). Here’s my short take - yes in general we are in better position regarding life expectancy, crime, education, air quality and other stuff like availability of flavored yogurt. However, the better positions/conditions are not evenly distributed. Also, the billions of connected internet users become more aware of news. (first quarter of 2018, Facebook had 2.19 billion monthly active users - I didn’t know the number was that high) Since stories of tragedy, threats, disasters, deaths, and general awful events sell much better in the news business than the wonderful stories there are more people than ever before learning about awful stuff. It makes us think our world situation is very bleak.

One more thought about viewing/remembering the past. Often the bad times are forgotten more than the good times. (let the bad times roll??) The result of this is the past looks better than now. I reason this is because if the bad didn’t actually happen to you, you probably were upset because of its uncertainty. Uncertainty of possible bad events can be very scary. If that possible bad event never happens or at least if it doesn't happen to people you know, then later on you forget about it.

I recall a time when news organizations and government would worry about spreading a panic. Do they still worry about panics or have they discovered there is revenue in little panics?

Certainly we are better off. We have youtube. Ok here’s a cover (from Ally McBeal soundtrack) of that simple song about Renee and a street sign:
 

as useful as a man boob

Oh so many vulgar jokes and I'm not talking about our election season. I'm not going there.

Thanks to youtube I'm able to share with you this important public service announcement. No really, they found something useful to do with man boobs. Why did it take soon long to figure out? (could it be they had a hard time finding a willing man?)

doctor my fragments

I’m glad to be able to add my fragments to the 300th Friday Fragment collection that Mrs. 4444 hosts at her blog. It has been a tough week. I’ve sorta lost my blogging feeling this week.

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand 
I have done all that I could 
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can?

 

Navy surgeons preforming laparoscopic surgery

These past few days have included doctors and hospitals. I learned a new word, cholecystectomy.

Our daughter surprised both herself and us with a damaged gallbladder. Going from wondering what is causing the problem to worrying and waiting through the operation is exhausting for parents. Of course, added to that for her was the pain. She has been released from the hospital and is now recovering at home.




Only a short list of fragments this week.  I do have one more - I discovered I follow the knock-on-wood philosophy.
 

drilling up where the sun don't shine

(warning unless you’re in the medical field I suggest skipping this post if you plan to eat soon)

Do you enjoy being tested? How about medically tested?

I don’t suspect many do. The healthcare industry is overly profit focused in my opinion. New tests, new drugs, more TV ads, all to make more profits. My cynicism of the healthcare field is not related to any particular doctor. I have read numerous accounts of the power of the healthcare lobbies. The intent of this post (many of my postings lack intentions) is to share my story involving a now common test. I don’t want debate healthcare but just wanted to provide some background on my mindset (that’s a personal problem, setting my mind down too often) going into this test.

Many of us will strive to find something if we exert the effort to go digging for it. I assumed the doctor would find something and then confront me with options I didn’t want to consider.

Moving on.

I would like to blame/thank my wife for this colonoscopy.

All those out there who have had their colons scoped out, please bend over.

I discovered while being on my required liquid diet that I have more time to browse the internet. It’s best to avoid the kitchen and the sight of solid food. During my non-eating time, I had time to create this fake ad based on “The Most Interesting Man In The World”. During my prep time, I thought about posting it on FB but decided to email to a few family members instead. I don’t think any of them added me to their spam list yet but who knows after that email.

This is not the image I originally posted but matches the topic

PEG 3350 is a vile-tasting watery liquid.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is this stuff?

The PEG stands for Polyethylene glycol. My wife told me I would be occupied in the bathroom for a long time so I brought my laptop (I was very careful with it). Since I was going but not going anywhere I utilized my time to research PEG 3350.

A chemical relative, ethylene glycol most common use is antifreeze. It was also used in dynamite. Polyethylene glycol has a variety of medical and commercial uses. One version, PEG-400 is used in inkjet printers. A plasticized version of this stuff can be found in ballistic missile solid rocket fuel.

Rocket fuel, oh yes so appropriate.

This was the physically largest prescription I ever filled. PEG 3350 comes in a 4 liter plastic bottle that could be mistaken for a gallon bottle of water but you would be very sorry you did. You add tap water before use. I’m glad I noticed a tip in the directions about drinking it chilled from the refrigerator. Only downside with the refrigerator suggestion is seeing solid food while retrieving your rocket fuel.

Not sure why but prep directions split the drinking of this colon refreshment into two phases. The second phase was very annoying since it took place at 3 AM. I have not been drinking at 3 AM in a long time.

The actual drilling procedure goes great. I tried to imagine I was invited to a toga party when I was handed my no-dignity gown but it didn’t work. I was surprised by number of people waiting for me at the drill site. I expected about 3, doctor, nurse and anesthesiologist. There were about 6 people gather around (move along people nothing to see here). Later I thought of asking if their smartphones had been turned off. I last remember talking to the anesthesiologist and then waking up wondering where I was.

My BIL sent me the Dave Barry’s report on his colonoscopy (appeared in the Miami Herald 2008). Dave described his prep fluid as goat spit. I told my BIL that just like house painting all the work is in the prep.

My King-of-Road uncle called since my drilling and I mentioned my test. He was quick to realize why my wife scheduled me for the test. He told me that now she knows I’m a perfect a$$hole.

Oh one small polyp was found and removed during the expedition. I’m good to go.

 

2021 update - I'm finally repeating this awful exploration of my colon in a few weeks. I'm glad I posted this back in 2013 to remind me of the experience.

signs you are reading this

What you need a sign? 

How much would you pay for a guidance app for the rest of your life’s path?

Too often the spam email subject line reads 10 signs of blah blah blah. Typically the number of signs offered is between 3 and 10. I have yet to see the 37 signs of you are reading too much spam. (I suspect posting about “signs” might be a sign of that) People avoid a large number of signs to read, so 7 is good number of signs. 

Everyone is selective. You will read the 7 signs you are chaetophobic but you will tell the officer standing outside your car window that you never read the speed limit sign.

Of course I employed google searching for more information on signs. You know how google offers you suggestions to fill out your search words? Here’s a little time waster for you to try (how many signs would you need to determine you are wasting time). In the search box start with “signs of a”, then “signs of b” and proceed through the alphabet. You will find plenty of suggestions for every letter. Signs of the zodiac is a sign you reached the end. 

“Signs of q” had an interesting list of suggestions. Have you ever heard of a quarterlife crisis? Midlife is well known to be full of crisis. Midlife probably offers more than 10 signs of crisis. C’mon a quarterlife crisis? Really? Do we need a special name for each phase of everyday living? 

I was married with one child when I stumbled through my mid twenties. Sure a crisis could come at you whatever your age. But naming a crisis based just on your age is different. Life is a series of events. A bad event could be called a crisis but not every broken nail, nothing-to-do weekend, or bad date is a crisis.

Usually the "top some number" signs are offered.  How about the bottom two signs you don’t know Jack? 

1. You read these two signs. 

2. You want more signs. 

Does our world have too many mamby pamby lands?





another circus 

exercise and me

NOT

Think about this funny question/thought I recently found in a cartoon by Randy Glasbergen (www.glasbergen.com).

The doctor says, “What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?”

I laughed so much I needed to take a nap. No really, I get that the exercise thing is important. I just hate it and always have.

I even have trouble spelling exercise (usually excerise comes out). I hated track back in high school. I don't like to sweat. The only physical exercise I liked was the activities with a game involved. I dated a tennis player once so tennis was good exercise at the time (God she could whip me on the court every time). Courting on the court is for lawyers and judges.

Some people get addicted to exercise. That can’t be good. But as addictions go that’s probably a better one if you can afford the gym fees.

Back to those options the doctor offered. What about a third option? Being a zombie. They are only half dead as in 12 hours a day right?

(one more pic of my pacing abilities)

Speaking of zombies (how often do we say that?) a former co-worker got a gig in a Sears zombie commercial. Sears is going after the zombie market now. Talk about “a few clowns short of a circus”. Well it is fun to see familiar face in an ad (BTW - she didn’t wear her makeup at work that way).







I probably could exercise like a zombie. They move slow like I do.

+-+ Health warning +-+

Here’s health idea. Maybe I should go on a comment diet/routine. You start blog browsing and dropping your comments all over and before you know it you will have forgotten to eat. (will this idea be as good as my “Fat Ass Donuts” idea?) Comments help you lose weight - go ahead try it. Right here right now.

And the McNugget goes?

Dogs bark, cats meow, ducks quack.
What's a McNugget sound like? (hint what's a cob of corn sound like)

Oh, was the McNugget alive once?

OK I really don't intend to pick on McDonalds (symbol MCD great stock and full disclosure I own some) or particular food industry. I'm not a vegan. We just need to think about food and learn more about the process.

Here's the main question -

Do we know our food?

I suspect most of my generation knows of livestock but I wonder about my grandkids generation. Oh don't tell my kids but I plan to inform their kids about some of the behind-the-scene food story.

Like it or not animals are slaughtered. The poem "Chicago" by Carl Sandburg starts with, "Hog Butcher for the World." (I hope kids still know what a butcher does.)



That picture is from Peru. I didn't try the cuy (guinea pig) but if it had been served in a sauce and sliced I might have. Customers can watch the live ones just across the courtyard from the grill. Not much different than picking out your lobster at restaurant.

Watch the documentary King Corn. It provides some clues to the many diet related health problems we have in modern society. The industrialization of our food doesn't always benefit us. One benefit is cheap food. But there is a health price to pay later.

A surprising fact for me was the huge change in the livestock industry. Those farms/ranches with the cattle grazing fields are now very few. Today it is feedlots (cattle factories really) with corn feed cattle. Since the cattle don't roam around much you need plenty of antibotics too. They don't eat much other than corn. Before the 70's they ate much more grass.

Another surprise is the volume of corn in the system and the result that we are all eating/drinking corn. Not directly but indirectly.

• corn feed beef/poulty
• corn oil
• corn syrup
• corn starch
  

“If you’re standing in a field in Iowa, there’s an immense amount of food being grown, none of it edible. The commodity corn, nobody can eat. It must be processed before we can eat it. It’s a raw material—it’s a feedstock for all these other processes. And the irony is that an Iowa farmer can no longer feed himself.”

—Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore's Dilemma

Hey I'm not giving up beer (mostly light beer anyway) or tootpaste because of corn based ingredients. Also, I love popcorn.

I didn't grow up or work on a farm (visited a number of them) but I did reconstructed a chicken skeleton for a science project once. At the time, Dad and I didn't drive that far to buy a LIVE chicken (I didn't want to reconstruct broken bones and wanted the head and all). BTW - this was not an easy project. Those bones are tiny and difficult to clean and glue back in place.

How many of you buy your food live? I'm not suggesting that we start but it's an interesting thought.

Over a year ago I found this cheeseburger-in-a-can and wondered what extreme seasoning would be required before eating. Ironic that out on the trail you might be eating food that is many process steps removed from the source and the nature you are trying enjoy.




Lastly I must credit blogger Lilly with planting the seed for this post (not corn). Her funny story about food knowledge is worth a read.



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