Learning To Live

I'm not a fan of January. Maybe it's all this cold weather, or the lack of sunshine, or the fact that it feels like I am living at the north pole, but whatever it is: I. Hate. January. It is possible my hatred will continue into February and possibly March if the weather doesn't stay above about 20 degrees on a regular basis. I'm doing well lung-wise, and I'm getting better at doing things around the house. I think I'm having problems emotionally. January does this to me. I become bat-shit crazy somewhere between November and January. Call it seasonal depression, call it nutty - I don't care what you call it, I just know that I don't feel quite right and I want to fix it. I'd like to fix it before the anger inside me boils over and I go on a screaming rampage. Sadly that anger will probably end up misplaced and directed at someone I really don't want to be mad at if I don't figure this out. Thanks for listening to this brief announcement...

So for those of you who want to see more happiness in my blog, go ahead and skip right over this one. This is another very honest post. Things I need to admit to. Things I know I need to change. Things I wish were but maybe can't be. Basically, you could consider it complaining if you want to. I don't think of it that way - I see it as being honest with myself. The past two days have been strange. I don't feel quite right. I've been sleeping too much again and I've been picking. I'm anxious and I don't know what's wrong. Yes, I talked this over with my father and he thinks it's the tapering off of the steroid. Sure, go ahead and criticize me about speaking with my father for his medical opinion. Because he went to medical school and actually cares about me. That's why I talk to my dad. Anyways, he has told me that I can't stop the steroid. I must continue even though my mood has gone to hell, I'm picking and that makes me f...