Learning To Live

Reasons I'm happy it's just my sinuses (well, it only feels like my sinuses): *It's not my lungs. *I'm only tired (and I did get a shower this evening, which makes me feel better). *I'm still at my house. I may need my mom to come and help me, but for now I'm at my house and not in the hospital yet. *I'm in my bed (well... not my bed, I'm still only comfortable sleeping on the den bed or the couch b/c of my fever, but it's a bed at my house). *I'm not in a hospital bed. *There are no IVs beeping. *I'm not on the transplant list. *I'm not on oxygen. *I'm not on a ventilator. *I had an unproductive weekend, but I was able to leave the house by myself, with no O2 and go buy my new cell phone. (P.S. Still can't figure out how the dumb thing works... I hate it.) *I weigh more than I did in high school. *They aren't threatening me with a feeding tube. *I don't have any scary tubes - no chest tubes, no feeding tubes, no NG tubes,...

I'm really sick. My sinuses are now so bad I can barely stay awake, let alone get anything accomplished. Honestly, I thought about it, and I think the last time I took a shower was Wednesday evening. Ew. It's Sunday and I just don't have the energy. I think I'm going to end up in the hospital a lot sooner than I planned... shit. I'm going to eat something and go back to sleep now. If you would like to help me, please call the cell phone - I'll probably tell you I'm fine, but really I'm not.

Today I had my sinuses sucked out. It was AWESOME. Of course, the upper sinuses cannot be suctioned in clinic - don't ask me why, I have a high pain tolerance - today didn't even hurt. Dr. ENT said, "Hold on I know this really hurts!" and I was, "Um, is it supposed to?" I thought it felt really good. So there's that. My other obsession of the day (besides Grey's Anatomy) is the cocaine nasal spray. Wow that felt good, and now I know why people get addicted to drugs. If I knew how to get a hold of cocaine I would make my own nasal spray it helped that much. I was in NO pain. It was sweet. I can't wait to go back in two weeks and have it done again. I also went to the pharmacy, and I had them order and fill ALL my prescriptions. I can't wait to take photos of the big-ass amount of drugs I haul out of there tomorrow. Photos will be posted. A little over two weeks until I leave for where? Oh, yeah! Europe! My dad told me the first day...

Ow. (Note, this is not a complaint. I am simply stating that I am currently in a state of pain.) WARNING: EXTREME AMOUNTS OF SARCASM AHEAD. Even though the pain is so bad I can barely stay awake, I am still able to run and jump and sing and dance (because, DUH I'm addicted to running and can't stop... I LOVE my lungs and all they do for me!) and I will be doing a marathon soon, so watch for that. I will be DANCING the marathon, and singing the whole way. What do you think, should I sing Hannah Montana??? And High School Musical??? Whadda ya think??? And since the only thing that seems to help the pain are my migraine pills, I will be popping them like candy. I will put them in rolls and eat them like Smarties. Mmmm Migraine Smarties. Never mind the fact that you are never supposed to take more than 2 in a 24 hour period. I need them to stop the pain of the goo oozing into my brain, so I'll eat them like candy. And maybe it will kill me, so despite the fact that I a...

I'm having problems with my sinuses. I was doing so well until the stupid pollens came out. Now I wake up every morning with a terrible headache and I can't go back to sleep. This will soon be replaced with the constant unbearable pain that will make me want to do nothing but sleep. It will make my face puffy and my eyes puffy and maybe I and my family will be the only ones to notice these changes, but they are there when this happens. This summer will be my third summer in a row needing sinus surgery. BOOurns. So here is MY plan: Get them to suck out my sinuses outpatient. This will take some convincing, but I think I can do it. It will be pretty damn painful but will require less recovery time than surgery. This will happen in the next two weeks - Next Tuesday would be a nice date for this to happen. Then I will have a little time to recover and a little time to pack and then I'm off to Europe. Hopefully, that will hold me all summer and until next summer. This ...