3.12.2012
in the trying-not-to-panic category....
we (in the lab) know that in our line of work, the best case scenario is 4 years of worry-free funding, and then that 5th year comes around and it becomes panic time. ideally mixed in the middle of those 5 years is another relatively big grant - at least 2/3 years, that will keep things going.
right now we're facing year 5 of 5, and it's time to panic. not yet full blown panic, but certainly getting there. time to tell students that they might have to TA every quarter. time to tell postdocs that they will have to secure their own funding or hurry up and finish their projects, then move on to greener pastures. not quite time to tell me to look for a new job, but close.
in June, we should get reviews of a grant we just submitted. if those scores look good, that takes TONS of pressure off. but with the current state of our federal government and its (lack of) budget, it has to be a kickass grant. i'd love to think we submitted one of those, but in reality, it probably isn't.
best case scenario: we do get kickass scores and we are all fine.
worst case scenario: our scores suck and starting in the summer, i look for a new job. if it's not with my current employer, then i have to sell my condo. so, find a new job AND place to live AND relocate. and i guess being a homeowner was fun while it lasted.
trying to avoid thinking of the worst case situation until we know something for sure in a couple of months, but knowing how my brain works, i'll be checking out job postings and housing opportunities all over the bay area. sigh.
right now we're facing year 5 of 5, and it's time to panic. not yet full blown panic, but certainly getting there. time to tell students that they might have to TA every quarter. time to tell postdocs that they will have to secure their own funding or hurry up and finish their projects, then move on to greener pastures. not quite time to tell me to look for a new job, but close.
in June, we should get reviews of a grant we just submitted. if those scores look good, that takes TONS of pressure off. but with the current state of our federal government and its (lack of) budget, it has to be a kickass grant. i'd love to think we submitted one of those, but in reality, it probably isn't.
best case scenario: we do get kickass scores and we are all fine.
worst case scenario: our scores suck and starting in the summer, i look for a new job. if it's not with my current employer, then i have to sell my condo. so, find a new job AND place to live AND relocate. and i guess being a homeowner was fun while it lasted.
trying to avoid thinking of the worst case situation until we know something for sure in a couple of months, but knowing how my brain works, i'll be checking out job postings and housing opportunities all over the bay area. sigh.
2.21.2012
Post-manipulation
I am now 8 days after the manipulation under anesthesia (MUA) and wow, my shoulder moves in ways it hasn't moved in years!
Found out today that I pretty much need to stay on the meds, at least when I go to PT, but so far it sure seems the MUA has done its job.
The postoperative report indicated that snaps and pops were palpated and heard. So take that, scar tissue!
Back to work tomorrow but so far the doctor is pleased. Really need to spend time on exercises at home to keep ROM as it is now. Won't get my hopes up with a return date for hockey and will try to stay focused on the short term goals.
Welcome back, ROM. It has been a while and I sure missed you!
Found out today that I pretty much need to stay on the meds, at least when I go to PT, but so far it sure seems the MUA has done its job.
The postoperative report indicated that snaps and pops were palpated and heard. So take that, scar tissue!
Back to work tomorrow but so far the doctor is pleased. Really need to spend time on exercises at home to keep ROM as it is now. Won't get my hopes up with a return date for hockey and will try to stay focused on the short term goals.
Welcome back, ROM. It has been a while and I sure missed you!
2.06.2012
crazy happenings at my house
This has not been a normal span of a few days.
Gouda was sick all of last week, and I finally convinced him to go to the doctor on Friday. He came back home with some antibiotics and a diagnosis of bronchitis. When he walked back in the house around 4:30, he said there was water all over the entryway, downstairs bathroom, hall, and Harry Potter closet (under the stairs).
He called me at work and I came home as soon as I could...after calling the housing manager, who in turn called the property management and a plumber. I walked in the house and there were towels everywhere. Gouda has managed to soak up most of the free standing water, and the poor guy, just back from the doctor, had to empty almost the whole Potter closet by himself. Me and my gimpy shoulder did the rest. Fortunately, we didn't lose anything since most things were in boxes...the outer boxes were trashed, but contents were okay.
Anyhow, we found that the source of the water wasn't a leaking toilet, but it was coming through/under the wall from my neighbor's place. My issues with the neighbors warrants a separate post, but let's just say they weren't my favorite people when the day started.
Plumber came, made sure the main line was clear, which it was. Seems the kids had broken the toilet handle and decided to just keep flushing it, then walked away as the toilet continued to run. So it ran, and ran, and ran.
I now have a dehumidifier and two big fans set up downstairs, and the affected area is separated by plastic (and a zipper in the plastic!) a la ET. The flooring was pulled up and concrete is exposed. Much of the base of the walls will need to be repaired. Seems it'll take another 3-5 days, at least, for everything to dry out.
In the mean time, the fans are super loud and it's pretty much impossible to watch TV downstairs. Well, watching is fine, but listening is a problem. Fortunately Lucy doesn't seem to mind the noise too much and has been a trooper through the whole thing.
But still, ugh.
Gouda was sick all of last week, and I finally convinced him to go to the doctor on Friday. He came back home with some antibiotics and a diagnosis of bronchitis. When he walked back in the house around 4:30, he said there was water all over the entryway, downstairs bathroom, hall, and Harry Potter closet (under the stairs).
He called me at work and I came home as soon as I could...after calling the housing manager, who in turn called the property management and a plumber. I walked in the house and there were towels everywhere. Gouda has managed to soak up most of the free standing water, and the poor guy, just back from the doctor, had to empty almost the whole Potter closet by himself. Me and my gimpy shoulder did the rest. Fortunately, we didn't lose anything since most things were in boxes...the outer boxes were trashed, but contents were okay.
Anyhow, we found that the source of the water wasn't a leaking toilet, but it was coming through/under the wall from my neighbor's place. My issues with the neighbors warrants a separate post, but let's just say they weren't my favorite people when the day started.
Plumber came, made sure the main line was clear, which it was. Seems the kids had broken the toilet handle and decided to just keep flushing it, then walked away as the toilet continued to run. So it ran, and ran, and ran.
I now have a dehumidifier and two big fans set up downstairs, and the affected area is separated by plastic (and a zipper in the plastic!) a la ET. The flooring was pulled up and concrete is exposed. Much of the base of the walls will need to be repaired. Seems it'll take another 3-5 days, at least, for everything to dry out.
In the mean time, the fans are super loud and it's pretty much impossible to watch TV downstairs. Well, watching is fine, but listening is a problem. Fortunately Lucy doesn't seem to mind the noise too much and has been a trooper through the whole thing.
But still, ugh.
Labels: home ownership woes
early February shoulder update
Well, I saw the doctor last week and both he and the PA decided that it's time for the next step - time to treat the frozen shoulder. I'll be undergoing what's called a manipulation under anesthesia (MUA), so it's technically not surgery. Essentially they'll knock me out and then crank my shoulder around to break up scar tissue, and break it up enough so that I have full range of motion.
Then after I wake up and am out of recovery....I get to go to PT! Yup, the same day. And every day for the rest of that week. Keeping it moving and making sure I keep that range of motion intact will be key. They told me to plan on taking a week off of work simply because I'll be loopy on meds, but also because I'll need to stretch every couple of hours and that will be tiring.
I was sort of pushing for a combination of MUA and arthroscopy, which, according to papers, seems to have been favored over the past 10 years. But my doctor told me that since I scar up so much anyhow, and the act of just putting the scope through the shoulder capsule might cause extra scarring, he really wanted to see how just the MUA goes. There's a decent chance that it'll just freeze up again, in which case he'll do another MUA but this time with arthroscopy.
Anyhow, cranking date is the 13th. My normal physical therapist doesn't work late in the afternoons, so I will see someone else on that day (the day of the MUA). But we'll be reunited on Valentine's Day. Awwwwww!
Then after I wake up and am out of recovery....I get to go to PT! Yup, the same day. And every day for the rest of that week. Keeping it moving and making sure I keep that range of motion intact will be key. They told me to plan on taking a week off of work simply because I'll be loopy on meds, but also because I'll need to stretch every couple of hours and that will be tiring.
I was sort of pushing for a combination of MUA and arthroscopy, which, according to papers, seems to have been favored over the past 10 years. But my doctor told me that since I scar up so much anyhow, and the act of just putting the scope through the shoulder capsule might cause extra scarring, he really wanted to see how just the MUA goes. There's a decent chance that it'll just freeze up again, in which case he'll do another MUA but this time with arthroscopy.
Anyhow, cranking date is the 13th. My normal physical therapist doesn't work late in the afternoons, so I will see someone else on that day (the day of the MUA). But we'll be reunited on Valentine's Day. Awwwwww!
1.20.2012
dear 2012...
you had so much promise.
i was so glad to be rid of 2011.
but so far, this month has shown me that while the calendar year changes, not much else does.
2012, so far you suck, and i vehemently dislike you.
i hope you get better.
i was so glad to be rid of 2011.
but so far, this month has shown me that while the calendar year changes, not much else does.
2012, so far you suck, and i vehemently dislike you.
i hope you get better.
12.31.2011
A very generic year in review of my small world
Great things:
- Dad continues to be in remission
- Lucy makes me smile and laugh each day
- news that many friends' families will be growing in 2012
Good things:
- relatively good health for my folks
- my job...grant deadlines approaching, but semi stable for now
Could be better:
- my health...shoulder + other things
- parent's health. Nothing glaring or urgent, but it really really sucks to see them getting older
- hobbies: need to find a decent substitute for hockey
2012 hopes:
- return to hockey
- get in shape
- see friends more often
- watch less
- move more
- read more
- be upbeat
- Dad continues to be in remission
- Lucy makes me smile and laugh each day
- news that many friends' families will be growing in 2012
Good things:
- relatively good health for my folks
- my job...grant deadlines approaching, but semi stable for now
Could be better:
- my health...shoulder + other things
- parent's health. Nothing glaring or urgent, but it really really sucks to see them getting older
- hobbies: need to find a decent substitute for hockey
2012 hopes:
- return to hockey
- get in shape
- see friends more often
- watch less
- move more
- read more
- be upbeat
That good news I have been waiting to hear...
No, not that I found Mr. Right.
No, not that my shoulder is better.
No, not that our grant got funded on the first submission.
The good news I received yesterday was that finally, after preparing batch after batch of cells, after waiting and waiting for litters of mice to be born, then waiting another week for their fur to come in and their coat color show...finally, it seems we have a chimera!!!! Only around 40% chimeric, and I don't even know if it is a male or female, but hooray! Out plasmid design, screen and selection, and finally injection all panned out. Phew! There are several more hurdles to get over with this project, but there is finally more then a glimmer of hope and something concrete to show for our hard work.
No, not that my shoulder is better.
No, not that our grant got funded on the first submission.
The good news I received yesterday was that finally, after preparing batch after batch of cells, after waiting and waiting for litters of mice to be born, then waiting another week for their fur to come in and their coat color show...finally, it seems we have a chimera!!!! Only around 40% chimeric, and I don't even know if it is a male or female, but hooray! Out plasmid design, screen and selection, and finally injection all panned out. Phew! There are several more hurdles to get over with this project, but there is finally more then a glimmer of hope and something concrete to show for our hard work.
December checkup
Went to see the doc yesterday which, despite being a doctor's visit, is always pleasant because the PA I see is so awesome. He always has a smile and something funny to say. I have loved every PA I have ever had but this guy is the best.
So I did the basic ROM stuff with Andrew and, like last time, he decided it was time to call in the big dawg. The doc came in and we went through the same stuff. They prescribed some NSAID patches for me to try. Kind of doubtful that they will relieve any discomfort, but if they do, then great. If they also reduce inflammation enough so that I can increase ROM, even better, but not likely. I go back in a month and assuming there has been no change, will have my pre- op appointment for a frozen shoulder manipulation. Good thing about it is that it is non-surgical. But, I have to start PT from square one.
However, hearing that theynwouldndo the manipulation at 6 months post-op was great, because initially they were thinking they'd wait until one year, which would mean August. Frankly, after 6+ years of this, I wasn't willing to wait that long.n I either want it taken care of or to know that it is just going to suck for the rest of my life.
So we will see where things stand in another month.
So I did the basic ROM stuff with Andrew and, like last time, he decided it was time to call in the big dawg. The doc came in and we went through the same stuff. They prescribed some NSAID patches for me to try. Kind of doubtful that they will relieve any discomfort, but if they do, then great. If they also reduce inflammation enough so that I can increase ROM, even better, but not likely. I go back in a month and assuming there has been no change, will have my pre- op appointment for a frozen shoulder manipulation. Good thing about it is that it is non-surgical. But, I have to start PT from square one.
However, hearing that theynwouldndo the manipulation at 6 months post-op was great, because initially they were thinking they'd wait until one year, which would mean August. Frankly, after 6+ years of this, I wasn't willing to wait that long.n I either want it taken care of or to know that it is just going to suck for the rest of my life.
So we will see where things stand in another month.
Labels: shoulder
12.13.2011
catching up, refocusing, getting old
yes, it's been ages.
i'm going to use this mainly as a record of what's going on with my shoulder since the history is all here. boring reading, lots of waaaaaah. also included will be rants that can't go anywhere else.
shoulder update: had arthroscopic surgery #3 in August of 2011. about 1.5 inches of the distal clavicle was resected, truckloads of scar tissue was removed, and the anterior capsule was tightened. rehab went well until week 6, when i externally rotated WAY too far. heard popping/tearing, supposedly that was scar tissue. rehab hasn't been the same since - very limited in active ROM.
had 10ml cortisone, saline, and lidocaine injected on December 2 - hoping that that will provide space for the shoulder to move around and loosen up. the doctor is technically calling it frozen.
thus far, no significant changes. continue to do PT at home, and find that the "empty can" exercise is one of the most difficult. emailed Andrew yesterday, he said to be patient since results can come after up to 2 weeks. he also said that per Spiegel, they wouldn't do any kind of manipulation for the adhesive capsulitis until at least 1 year post-op. that puts it at August. hopefully things will trend upwards before then, but if not, what am i supposed to do? continue with my lack of lifestyle until then? NCWHL credit is good for next season but that's it - i'll lose that credit. will be a 2nd consecutive season i'm missing.
frustration is the main feeling right now. overwhelming frustration. has led me to think some thoughts that haven't crept into my head for many years, leaving me wondering what the next step is.
i'm going to use this mainly as a record of what's going on with my shoulder since the history is all here. boring reading, lots of waaaaaah. also included will be rants that can't go anywhere else.
shoulder update: had arthroscopic surgery #3 in August of 2011. about 1.5 inches of the distal clavicle was resected, truckloads of scar tissue was removed, and the anterior capsule was tightened. rehab went well until week 6, when i externally rotated WAY too far. heard popping/tearing, supposedly that was scar tissue. rehab hasn't been the same since - very limited in active ROM.
had 10ml cortisone, saline, and lidocaine injected on December 2 - hoping that that will provide space for the shoulder to move around and loosen up. the doctor is technically calling it frozen.
thus far, no significant changes. continue to do PT at home, and find that the "empty can" exercise is one of the most difficult. emailed Andrew yesterday, he said to be patient since results can come after up to 2 weeks. he also said that per Spiegel, they wouldn't do any kind of manipulation for the adhesive capsulitis until at least 1 year post-op. that puts it at August. hopefully things will trend upwards before then, but if not, what am i supposed to do? continue with my lack of lifestyle until then? NCWHL credit is good for next season but that's it - i'll lose that credit. will be a 2nd consecutive season i'm missing.
frustration is the main feeling right now. overwhelming frustration. has led me to think some thoughts that haven't crept into my head for many years, leaving me wondering what the next step is.
Labels: shoulder
7.24.2010
suddenly, life has gotten a lot more real
it's extremely unfortunate that it often takes a tragedy or unforeseen circumstance for people to get in touch with each other. i have intentions of connecting with my friends via email, phone, or even the old fashioned letter far more often than i do.
the past 4 weeks have been a bit surreal. outwardly, everything is the same for me - my daily routine hasn't changed, things at work are the same. but just over 3 weeks ago i received the sad news that a friend of mine had passed away.
we had a get together in town today to remember him. there were familiar faces from years gone by, lots of stories that included smiles, laughs, head-shaking, and tears.
i learned yesterday that another person i had worked with passed away last fall.
while the circumstances for each person were drastically different, in both cases they were taken far too early. i will always have fond memories of both of them, but would rather know that i could create more memories with each of them.
i'm lucky to know so many bright, caring, talented people. i need to remember to tell them that i appreciate them and am honored to call them my friends.
the past 4 weeks have been a bit surreal. outwardly, everything is the same for me - my daily routine hasn't changed, things at work are the same. but just over 3 weeks ago i received the sad news that a friend of mine had passed away.
we had a get together in town today to remember him. there were familiar faces from years gone by, lots of stories that included smiles, laughs, head-shaking, and tears.
i learned yesterday that another person i had worked with passed away last fall.
while the circumstances for each person were drastically different, in both cases they were taken far too early. i will always have fond memories of both of them, but would rather know that i could create more memories with each of them.
i'm lucky to know so many bright, caring, talented people. i need to remember to tell them that i appreciate them and am honored to call them my friends.
